Apollo X Hermes - Tumblr Posts
Apollo: [exists]
Hermes: This means nothing. I'm twelve, I'm sure these feelings will fade.
[multiple years later]
Hermes: Any day now.
Dionysus: Why are you on the floor?
Hermes: I'm sad :(
Hermes: Also I was stabbed. Can you get Apollo, please?
Apollo: Okay, truth or dare?
Hermes: Truth
Apollo: How many hours have you slept this week?
Hermes:
Hermes: ...Dare
Dionysus: Go to bed.
Hermes: I don't like this game.
Computer: Choose a password
Apollo: *types Hermes*
Computer: Password is too short
Apollo: *sighs* I know
Apollo: You're going to hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late.
Hermes: Jokes on you I'm gonna hate myself regardless.
Apollo: Give me one good reason why you had to stab him.
Hermes: Because of what he said.
Apollo: What did he say?
Hermes: 'What are you gonna do Hermes, stab me?'
Hermes: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way out of it this time.
Apollo: [cracking his knuckles]
Apollo: Manslaughter it is.
Hermes: I'm socially awkward, and have no idea how to romance.
Apollo: Fear not! For it is-
Dionysus, walking past: The least qualified person to help.
Apollo: Crushes are the worst.
Hermes: I know! Whenever I’m around mine, I always act stupid.
Apollo: Pffffttt, you always act stupid!
Hermes:
Hermes: Please don’t think about that too hard.
Apollo: Just to be sure, are you asking me romantically or platonically?
Hermes, down on one knee, ring still out: You did not just fucking ask me that-
Hermes, pointing: May I sit there?
Apollo: That's my lap
Hermes: That doesn't answer my question, Apollo
Hermes: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Apollo: Twelve, actually.
Hermes: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Apollo: Yours!
Hermes: That's right: no one's.
Apollo: This is such a bad idea.
Hermes: Then why are you coming along?
Apollo: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
Hermes: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Apollo, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Hermes:
Hermes: fsh
Apollo: Hermes...
Hermes: Oh no, 'Hermes' in b-flat.
Hermes: You're disappointed
Apollo: Is something burning?
Hermes: Just my love for you.
Apollo: Hermes, the toaster is on fire.
Apollo: Here's some advice-
Hermes: I didn't ask for any.
Apollo: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me.
Hermes: I’m in love with you.
Apollo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Hermes: I know.
Apollo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
Apollo: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
Hermes: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.
Apollo, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.