Aromantic Bisexual - Tumblr Posts

Imma just reblog this because apparently tumblr just has psychic writers who can reach into my head and write how I feel

If I wasn't a child of Hades, I'd be a child of Eros.

I love love, love letters, pink, red, hearts, flowers...

But I'm cupio.

The cupio child of Cupid.

I crave love.

I need it.

I yearn for it.

I want someone to hold me close and tell me how much they love me and how pretty and handsome I am.

I need it.

So bad.

I look at couples at school, in public... they're all so happy.

They can feel for one another.

They can love one another.

They can hold one another.

They can send each other love letters and chocolates and flowers....

And..

I can't.

I see my aroace friend, happy being how she is.

Happy feeling platonic love alone.

Holding no one, kissing no one, hugging only her friends.

Why can't I be like that?

Happy how I am.

Happy I have no one.

Happy being alone, not lonely.

But I can't.

Sometimes I am, yeah.

Romance is boring and too much.

It's... well, romantized by the media.

But other times,

I need it.

Its so painful not having it.

Sitting alone in my room.

No one next to me.

Alone, lonely.

I like being alone...

Just not lonely.

I text my friends, that's amazing.

Lonely in a different way.

In a worse way.

A way you know will never get better.

You try to latch onto people or celebrities to like.

It becomes an obsession.

Is it a real crush?

Or just to fill the void?

My parents don't understand.

My friends don't.

Even I don't.

Why can't I love like them?

Is it because I don't think people will love me?

Or is it just that...

I can't.

I just can't.

Nothing can change that.

I can't love.

No matter how much I love love,

I can't feel it.

I can't have it.

So close.

So far away.

I dream about it, yearn for it, listen to love songs.

To feel like I love.

But I don't.

Have I ever?

Yes.

Right?

I have.

I've dated people.

Did I truly love them?

I can't tell.

Could I love?

Possibly.

But... I can't right now.

And that makes this worse.

I almost feel it.

I listen to love songs and daydream.

Of someone without a face or body.

Someone I love.

But then it sinks in.

I don't.

I don't love anyone.

I can't do anything about it.

You could say,

"You're young."

"You don't need a partner."

But my parents tell me I need to be married.

A good wife.

Nice to her husband.

Have children.

But I can't.

I can't love.

But I want to love.

I want it.

Need it.

Crave it.

Yearn for it.

And thousands of synonyms for 'want' it.

But...

I can't.