Batman Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts
jason, after 2 glasses of $2000 champagne: nick was fucking gay for gatsby
dick, after an entire bottle of $2000 champagne: you're fucking right
bruce: *trying to grab his mic back so he can finish his speech*
The first time Bruce Wayne and Batmom meet
//Bruce behind Y/N in an elevator//
Bruce: -sniffs the reader-
Y/N: did you just smell me?
Bruce: no-
.-.-.-.-
Bruce Wayne and Batmom with 16 years of married
//Bruce behind Batmom while she fixes some papers//
Bruce: -sniffs the reader-
Y/N: did you just smell me?
Bruce: no-
The Early Days of Batman
Bruce: Don't worry, I feel fine.
Alfred: Master Bruce, you were stabbed!
Bruce: I've been stabbed before.
Alfred: YOU DON'T BUILD AN IMMUNITY TO BEING STABBED
Bruce: *in a meeting w/ the league over the batcomputer*
Kate: *kicking the batcave door open* goOD MORNING SLUT I BROUGHT YOU COFFEE-
I'm doing a day camp for my school so here are things I've witnessed (and I'll be adding more until Saturday 21/8)
Bruce:
Damn beetles. No, not those Beatles, music isn't killing the trees.
Steph:
*6 shoe changes on the bus in 15 minutes*
Jason: *wearing obviously waterproof shoes*
Dick: hey uh, hate to break it to you...but you're standing in water.
Jason: Thanks. I know.
Duke: wAit I brought shrek can we watch it on the way home please-
Babs: even I'm not white enough for this shit guys.
I'm doing a day camp for my school so here are things I've witnessed (and I'll be adding more until Saturday 21/8)
Damian:
*picks a wild blackberry and eats it* "mm...dog piss."
---
Teen!Bruce:
"Yeah it's breath-taking, but is it bussin'?"
---
Steph:
"This is a weird looking nectarine..."
Duke: "That's because it's a plum."
---
Jason, pointing at Aquaman:
"Oh look! A water hobo!"
---
Cass:
*after getting soaked with water*
I could single-handedly end the drought right now.
Teen Bruce pt 2: things I hear at school electric boogaloo
Bruce: *nodding along to a random guy talking about how "he would def suck Brandon's dick as long as he could ensure they would remain bros and not make it gay between them, bc he's not gay and Brandon's not gay so it would be more of a service to Brandon actually, just a favour really-"*
--
Bruce: all I've got is one's in my pocket, I feel like a stripper
--
Bruce: *thinks PSAT is a disease at first*
--
Bruce: what're y'all being for halloween? I'm gonna be a nasty little whore.
--
Bruce @ teen!Harv: really? after all the arson I watched you commit? we're still in the friend zone???
--
Bruce: *watches selina and talia doing something stupid* polyam is a thing. a great, fantastic thing.
Tim, running into Jason's room, panting, clearly out of breath: i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up, oh shit this is how i die
Jason, chilling on his bed, reading a book, confused: what the fuck replacement?
Damian: *unearthly screeches from outside*
Tim:*winces*
Jason: I repeat, what the fuck, replacement.
Tim: I accidentally led a creeper to Damian's house in Minecraft and it blew up.
Jason: ok, so it could be worse
Tim, aggressively shaking his head: no, it couldn't.
Jason: what do you mean. replacement what do you mean.
Tim*in a terrified whisper*: the creeper blew up, jason. it blew up his animal pens, jason. i'm about to die.
jason:
Jason, jumping out the window: fuck this, replacement, i'm out.
tim: no jason you traitor don't leave me!
damian, from behind Jason's door: Timothy Jackson Drake, today you face the wrath of the Demon's Heir.
tim: fuck