Bertrand Baudelaire - Tumblr Posts
Bumping this.
I am making moodboards inspired by ASOUE. I will post them all here and I will be taking requests. In order: post-canon Carmelita, Beatrice Baudelaire started the Baudelaire fire theory, post-canon Esmé.
My wrong opinions. Except for Ellington, she should be legally obliged to be everyone’s favourite.
I made a favorite character picker for Snicketverse! just select your faves from each group and then screenshot the tier list it makes whenever you want. heres my top row!
feel free to screenshot your top results in the rbs, im really curious who's most popular :0
Lemony x Bertrand for the ship ask?
Wait this is a ship???? Anyways, Bertrand deserves better <333
Finally starting Woevember!!
My Baudelaire Fire theory:
Following Esmé’s marriage to Jerome, the Baudelaire parents considered calling a temporary truce with the other side of the schism. They invited her over to negotiate (this was why they sent their children away). They were sitting round the table drinking brandy, and Esmé, being a firestarter, didn’t use a coaster. Little did they know that she had placed some sort of device outside intended to set the building on fire, which didn’t work due to the weather. She got angry, which made the Baudelaire parents suspicious. Esmé excused herself, left the room, and set fire to the building from the inside. She then left via the secret passageway. The Baudelaire parents, smelling smoke, go to investigate, but only Beatrice manages to get out before the passageway is blocked (somebody later removes whatever fell on it). Beatrice hides in the fountain. Lemony does not actually believe that she is dead, but pretends she is in order to protect her. VFD faking her death is the reason Lemony is ‘forbidden to speak to her’ like he mentions in TAA.
“Can you hand me that screwdriver?” H gestured, and took it as B handed it over. “Thanks. By the way, have you heard the rumors about Kit’s brother not liking you very much?”
B looked immediately alarmed. “Jacques?”
“No,” H replied as he examined the balloon project he was working on. “Her younger brother. Lemony Snicket.”
The alarmed expression turned into a confused frown. “I don’t think we’ve even met.”
H shrugged. “Apparently, your previous chaperone talks about you rather a lot.”
“And she said something bad?”
“I think probably the opposite,” H turned his attention to B from his project. “If you get what I mean.”
Realization clicked in after a few moments, and B fidgeted rather uncomfortably. “Oh. I think - chaperones, teachers - they’re like that, you know? That’s just, a thing they tell the students, they think it sets some kind of goals? By making these comparisons.”
“I mean, sure that’s true,” H shrugged. “But I’m also willing to bet that you’re a less troublesome apprentice than Snicket to her, from what I’ve heard.”
B looked away for a moment, before turning back to H, smiling rather thinly. Tensely. “Well behavior doesn’t always solve cases though, does it?”
H raised an eyebrow, and for a moment he wanted to ask B about the rumors about the chaperone in discussion, and how her ranking had dropped drastically, suddenly, just a few years ago. But he didn’t. He’d asked K before, but even she didn’t know, so H doubted B would say anything if he asked.
After an awkward silence, B stood up. “Uh - I’m going to see if Dewey needs any help.”
H watched as B hurried away.
oh boy is today the day to talk about bertrand ‘sweetest man alive’ baudelaire headcanons????? I’m here for that
-two years older than beatrice and lemony
-the type of kid who sent Valentine’s day cards to everyone in class with absurdly kind and genial handwritten compliments inside
-would kill a man for frank sinatra
-had those ‘teach yourself to dance’ records
-spent time with olivia in the volunteer feline detectives after his own apprenticeship and became good friends with her, they have an ongoing checkers game
-got letters from theodora during lemony’s apprenticeship where theodora complained about lemony, and bertrand really liked theodora and thought she was reasonable if scatterbrained and not too hard to deal with, so if theodora was complaining about someone they must be giving her a hard time, so he initially thought lemony must be a real troublemaker
-used fun jokes and amusing poetry and gentle teasing and his general bright and well-meaning personality to try and deal with vfd, with varying success
-liked soft and happy movies, cried at sad and emotional books, could not distinguish one noir movie from another because he said they all have ‘bad lighting, who thought that was okay? none of these people can see anything’
-he actually didn’t mind noir, he just thought it was cute how much it riled up beatrice and lemony when he purposely misremembered all the noir movies they watched
-loved showing physical affection
-he dressed up as puns for halloween and beatrice HATED IT, lemony thought it was very endearing
📁
also YIPPIEEE i never see asoue fans on this site >:3
Bertrand and Ellington are first cousins on Ellington’s mother’s side.
Olaf, Bertrand, Poison Darts
Before Olaf ever officially met Bertrand, he had heard stories about him. Bertrand’s chaperone thought he was an amazing, model apprentice. But that chaperone also ranked last out of all 52 VFD chaperones. Who coincidentally was also Olaf’s nemesis Snicket’s chaperone, and that was where things got interesting.
Someone who Lemony Snicket was unfavorably compared to? Olaf hadn’t even met this guy, but he decided that he’s going to like him.
When they finally met for the first time, Olaf discovered that Bertrand was quite unlike the usual VFD theater teens he encountered. Bertrand wasn’t much a literature guy, nor was he invested in poetry or theater. He didn’t quote classics in everyday life (not even wrongly or sarcastically or anything) like the rest of them. (Perhaps that was how he got assigned to lowest ranking chaperone, Olaf thought.)
Despite his differences with the theater teens of VFD, they all turned out to like Bertrand a lot. He was pleasant and easygoing and because of his interests were different from them, they didn’t feel the need to compete with him. But the best thing was, he was great at building sets and props – everything the theater people needed on stage – and every fancy, overly dramatic equipment they probably didn’t need off-stage but he was nice enough to make for them anyway. (One day, the working wings of a dragonfly costume might turn out surprisingly useful for an actress, but that was another story.)
And Olaf liked him too, just like all of them. Bertrand was the only person who wouldn’t tear his Al Funcoot plays apart, and as much as it was fun bickering with Beatrice or R about the literary references in his plays, it was great to have someone who he could spend time with that didn’t care about all those and would be glad to help make the props for the play. (Although he did have to fight the other theater majors for his time – as if Beatrice’s bat-styled hot air balloon or Esme’s martini glass dress was more important than his demands.)
And perhaps that was why Bertrand’s part in his parents’ murder came as the most surprising of them all. After being friends – if he could call them that – with Beatrice for so many years since their childhood, he’d known, grudgingly that she was capable of a lot of things. Mostly in the name of drama, but sometimes for things more sinister too. He’d seen her darker sides that sometimes he wondered if Snicket realized. And Kit – she followed VFD’s orders in a way nobody else could, she planned coldblooded schemes in the name of necessary evil better than anyone else. (It probably said something about their relationship that he wasn’t that surprised when his girlfriend played a part in his parents’ murder.) But Olaf never expected it from Bertrand.
Bertrand, who got along with everyone, who was always helpful, who didn’t argue much but not in a Jerome kind of way.
He’d long known ago he shouldn’t trust actors, but perhaps the biggest lesson was to not trust the polite and practical engineers either.
In retrospect, maybe he should have known. After all, Bertrand was the one with the craftiest hands out of them all. And if he could make theater props for them, who knew what else he was able to make?
A handy little device for aiming poison darts, as it turned out.
‘unreliable narrator’ but it’s ’narrator is deeply in love with the person they are narrating’