Bilbo Baggins X Reader - Tumblr Posts

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rules for requesting: ✮ disclaimer: i do not do smut, i can do dark themes such as stalking, etc. requests are open.

tim canterbury(the office) - none yet. john h. watson(bbc's sherlock) - none yet. bilbo baggins(the hobbit) - none yet. arthur dent(the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy) - none yet.

I love this so much 🖤🖤🖤

Bilbo Baggins X F! reader

“Unnoticed love?” PT1

Being the only girl in the company was undoubtedly challenging, especially as a hobbit. The dwarves had never encountered a hobbit lass before, and they initially hesitated to let Y/n join the journey, fearing she would slow them down with their preference for comfort, specific meal times, and plumper physiques compared to other races. However, Y/n's unwavering determination eventually won them over. She vividly recalled the events that led to their acceptance.

The moon bathed the Shire in its ethereal glow, casting a beautiful blue tint upon the ground. Y/n observed Bilbo cooking and preparing tea for both of them.

"I apologize for missing tea this morning. A wizard tried to recruit me for an adventure, but I declined," Bilbo said, placing a cup of tea in front of Y/n. The sweet aroma wafted towards her face. Bilbo knew exactly how she liked her tea, with a touch of cream and plenty of sugar.

"No need to worry, Bo. I witnessed the interaction on my way to the market," Y/n replied, lifting the cup and taking a small sip, her laughter escaping as she did.

"What's so amusing?" Bilbo asked, curiosity evident in his voice. "Oh, just the expression on your face when you went inside. It's not every day one sees a displeased Bilbo, unless it involves those Sackville-Baggins," Y/n chuckled, picking up one of the sweet treats Bilbo had prepared and taking a bite.

The two of them often shared meals together, almost like a tradition, which had led some of the other hobbits to speculate about their romantic involvement. However, Y/n knew deep down that her feelings were unrequited, despite her yearning for more. If only she could see the way Bilbo looked at her.

Their comfortable silence was shattered by a loud, insistent knocking on the door, startling both hobbits. "Were we expecting company?" Y/n placed her pastry down and stood up. "I don't believe so," Bilbo replied, joining her. He approached the door, hesitant about turning anyone away. What if they needed help? Taking a deep breath, he grasped the doorknob and opened the door. A dwarf stood before them, his features highlighted by the moon's glow, giving his beard a bluish undertone.

"Dwalin, at your service," the dwarf introduced himself, bowing and eyeing both hobbits. The interaction was awkward as he barged in and helped himself to some food, leaving the hobbits dumbfounded. "I guess what they say about dwarves is true," Y/n huffed, observing him devour their food.

Before long, more dwarves arrived, including Balin, the brother of the first dwarf, and two brothers named Fili and Kili. The wizard himself also made an appearance, followed by a swarm of dwarves stumbling over each other as they entered.

Y/n found amusement in watching their squabbles as they struggled to regain their footing. One dwarf tipped his hat and winked at her. "Bofur," he introduced himself, extending his hand, which Y/n shyly shook. "Y/n, a pleasure," she replied in a soft, cautious voice. Bofur placed his other hand on top of hers, grinning. This gesture did not go unnoticed.

The situation escalated when the group began singing, resulting in chaos. They clanged silverware together, tossed food, and spilled wine everywhere. It was a spectacle that surely alerted the neighbors. Y/n attempted to catch plates, while Bilbo desperately tried to prevent further damage, including potential plumbing disasters.

Now in the kitchen, washing the dishes, a young dwarf named Ori approached Y/n. She smiled, looking at his bashful face, as he handed her a plate. "Thank you, Master Dwarf," she said graciously.

Since that fateful night, Y/n found herself surrounded by the dwarves. Initially, there was tension due to her outburst with Thorin, but she felt more at ease with the others. When she wasn't conversing with Bilbo, she would engage in discussions with Bofur or Balin. Bilbo observed from a distance, his stomach churning with a sense of neglect. He couldn't quite pinpoint whether it was jealousy or anger, but he despised the feeling. He would watch Y/n return from the river, her wet hair clinging to her face, her flushed cheeks after a battle, or her cheeks puffing out when she ate. Observing her lick her lips only heightened his desire.

"Are you alright, Master Burglar?" Fili nudged Bilbo, snapping him out of his reverie. "Hm? Yes, I'm quite alright," Bilbo replied, fumbling with his hands, worried that he had been caught staring at his beloved friend. "It must be challenging being away from home, let alone on a perilous mission. But at least you still have some comfort with you," Fili remarked, glancing at Y/n. "I don't know how you manage to stay focused," he continued, his gaze lingering admiringly on her curvaceous figure. Bilbo couldn't blame them; he himself was guilty of such thoughts. He watched Y/n's every move, her hair still damp and sticking to her face as she walked alongside Ori, listening to his rant about his older brothers.

Bilbo's desire for Y/n remained unspoken, buried deep within. One side of him yearned to claim her as his own, to let the world know that she belonged to him. But he knew the truth—she was not his. They weren't courting, which meant she was available for others to pursue. The other side of him simply longed to drag her away into a secluded tent and express his desires, hoping she would reciprocate.

"Bilbo," Thorin's voice echoed, breaking the momentary trance. "Tend to the horses," he commanded. Bilbo sighed, watching Y/n fulfill her duties.

The company continued their journey towards Erebor, which meant passing through Mirkwood—a prospect that displeased Thorin but left him with no alternative. It was no surprise when they were captured by the elves. While the other dwarves underwent thorough searches, the elves were uncertain where to begin searching Y/n. One male elf patted down her sleeves, but that was the extent of it. "Hey! Why are you putting your filthy hands all over us but ignoring her?" Kili exclaimed, but the elf sighed and ignored his question. "We should have hidden our weapons on her," Gloin grumbled. "Excuse me?" Y/n turned her head, astonished by the remark.

They were presented before the king himself, Thranduil. Thorin gritted his teeth, looking beyond him. "Mr. Thorin, are you alright?" Y/n glanced at her leader, witnessing a softening in his gaze when he looked at her. She appeared so vulnerable, restrained—though they all likely did—yet he remained silent.

A gentle hand slid under Y/n's chin, redirecting her attention from Thorin to Thranduil. "Sweet hobbit, what brings you so far from the Shire?" Thranduil cooed, treating her as if she were a child. Y/n remained silent, her mind plagued by numerous

questions. Would everyone be alright? Would she be safe? And, most importantly, where was Bilbo? Unbeknownst to them, he observed everything from his hidden vantage point. He had never seen her look so fragile before, kneeling before a king, beneath someone who wasn't him.

"Are you at a loss for words? No matter, we will take good care of your friends," Thranduil declared before instructing his guards to remove them, leaving the two alone. Bilbo knew he had to act swiftly, despite the heartache it caused him. He had to find a way for them to escape as soon as possible.

Thranduil circled around Y/n, resembling a predator stalking its prey. "You never answered my question. Are you here to reclaim Erebor as well?" His tone carried a taunting quality, as if he couldn't believe a hobbit would willingly leave the comfort of their own home for an adventure. "Release them; they are my friends," Y/n spoke softly. Thranduil chuckled, ceasing his circling motion and kneeling before her. "Friends? Oh, my dear, you are merely a pawn in their game. Once they have the opportunity, they will discard you as if you were nothing," he said, gazing into her eyes. "Oh, little one."

He lightly caressed her cheek, smiling. "I believe it's only fair to say you will be treated much better here. I cannot allow your delicate hands to become even more roughed up than they already are," he remarked, alluding to the skirmish with the giant spiders. "Stay with me," he urged. "No," Y/n replied firmly.

"No?" Thranduil removed his hand from her cheek, repeating her answer. "No?" Rising from his kneeling position, he stared her down. "Why not? Do you truly wish to fight alongside these... these creatures? Oh, my dear, you should learn to choose your battles wisely because...," his voice darkened, "I'm afraid you won't be spared." "I'm doing this for someone I love!" Y/n blurted out. Instead of a chuckle, Thranduil burst into laughter. "You? You love one of the dwarves?" he exclaimed. "It's not the dwarves. It's..." Y/n's voice trailed off. Thranduil sighed, instructing Tauriel to apprehend her alongside the others.

Now sitting alone in a dark and desolate cell, Y/n was left with her thoughts. Worries washed over her, refusing to dissipate. They were trapped, and Bilbo was nowhere to be found. What if he had been devoured by the spiders?

Ok so the hobbit, bilbo?? Tall wife??? Like as tall as Gandalf??

And the company is just trying to figure out how a small hobbit got this long legged lady as his wife.

Bonus is you put the fact that bilbo always ends up with his face in your boobs, and only him. Makes the others jealous???

Bilbo Baggins x Tall Wife! Reader

“My favorite flowers are bosoms- I mean Blossoms!”

A/N: AHHH MY FIRST REQUEST ILY!! I’m writing this as head cannons but sooner or later it might become a full fic!

TW: Some smutty HC at the end. Under 18 DNI!

Omg to start out Bilbo totally loves tall people! He’s envious of their height so when he meets and falls in love with you, he’s over the moon.

You’re about two inches shorter than Gandalf and Bilbo loves it. The height is convenient, other hobbits took to you so fast due to your helping nature, your ass looks great when you reach for something, and in general just loves who you are.

He loves how dresses and pants look on you. How they cinch your waist and give the outline of your legs.

He’s on the GROUND when you wear traditional hobbit clothing knowing they’ll be too short on you!

Skirts? Yes PLEASE. He begs you to wear more.

First time he saw you in a low cut shirt and a skirt he fainted at the sight!

PLEASE PLEASE WEAR HEELS FOR THIS MAN

When the dwarves first came to the shire they were confused to see a human. When Bilbo introduced you as his wife, they all turned their heads in shocked and envy.

At first they question your marriage like how you met, dating, marriage your sex life! Fili and Kili got smacked for that.

You explained you met while traveling as a merchant, you came back so often just to see your favorite hobbit. He was the one that asked to court, you were so happy you picked him up and swung him! Your marriage was a small ceremony he invited Gandalf and some family (we know he didn’t invite Lobelia.) as for the rest you told them that’s up to their imagination to which Bilbo blushed.

You both decided to join the company! You couldn’t bare to leave your poor husband alone on a suicide mission!

Although knowing you’re a married women that didn’t stop a few dwarves. Albeit Bofur, Nori, Kili and his uncle (who flirted with you out of spite) Thorin.

Bilbo DID NOT take well to that so when the company finished setting up camp he sat next to you, inching closer until he was on your lap. A few dwarves would grumble about the PDA while the other four stared as Bilbo smushed his face in your chest.

Bilbo doesn’t care what your chest size is he will grab, pinch, and fondle them every chance he gets.

Every so often the dwarves would hear you in your shared tent, giggling then moaning his name as he sucked on your now swollen buds!

The next morning Bilbo would be eating breakfast as his face is full of pride while you… well let’s just say you didn’t get much sleep!

BONUS HC: Another reason Bilbo loves your height is because he can eat you out standing up, watching you shake and tremble as you try to stay standing.

He would moan your name and grunt as he sucks on your clit giving you some extra vibration while you cum all over his face <3

DWARF HEADCANONS: Pick up lines

| Author's note: 🌬️Thanks so much so far for your support! I'm sorry for not posting your requests sooner but I want them to be as perfect as possible, I intend to only post requests next week! This is maybe one of my most rushed works ever, I have been busy at uni this past week studying for several upcoming exams but I hope this is suitable enough for whoever who reads it...I may edit it in the future 📝🦋

Imagine telling the company one night after a long day that no one has ever flirted with you, the dwarves are shocked and say it's bullshit but you insist that no one back home ever tried getting close to you or even going as far as to flirt with you. This is their attempt of cheering you up with their best (worst*) pick up line examples.

Fili and Kili have the same type of flirting technique, they tell the person they fancy (woman, hobbit lass or dwarrowdam) either a tooth-rotting pick up line or a funny ones to break the ice. Once they both tell you their "pick up material" (as they like to call it) you make a face and shake your head before getting up from the spot you were sitting at and leaving, both brothers frown and look at each other: "What's wrong with our pick up lines?!"

- "Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes." (Fili)

- "Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material." (Kili)

- "I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art." (Kili)

- "Do you believe in love at first sight or shall I walk by again?" (Fili)

Bofur and Nori are into the classics, they both sit to your sides and give you cheeky smiles whilst they say their most successful pick up lines. You raise a brow at them and claim that they are shitty; Nori shrugs and lights his pipe and Bofur gasps and raises a hand to his chest...

- "Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met ya only in me dreams." (Bofur)

- "If I bit my lip would you kiss it better?" (Nori)

- "Yer feet must be tired, because ya've been running through me mind al' day long." (Bofur)

- "If you gave me a penny for my thoughts I’d have just one penny, because i only think about one thing and that’s you." (Nori)

Dwalin and Thorin would shake their heads at their companions, they would act as if they were not interested in the conversation until after Bofur and Nori claim to have wonderful pick up lines. They don't mind Kili and Fili, after all, they are still young but they cringe at the dwarves' pick up lines and after having a brief conversation in Khuzdul they would jump right into the conversation: "Ye call those pick up lines? Watch and learn, lads!" Says Dwalin with a smirk.

- "Let's flip a coin, Heads I'm yers and Tails yer mine!" (Dwalin)

- "Are you made of grapes? Because you are as fine as wine." (Thorin)

- “You must be a witch/wizard. Because you’re magical.” (Thorin)

- “Was that cannon fire, or is me heart pounding?” (Dwalin)

| Some members of the company groan and rolls their eyes. Whilst Fili cringes at some of the pick up lines, Kili believes he has never thought his uncle could be even more majestic!

Bilbo being a hobbit, is very used to hearing pick up lines either at taverns or at many of the social events planned by his kin. Once the dwarves finish with their outrageous pick up lines he scoffs and groans: "You call those pick up lines? No wonder you lot have no one waiting for you back home!" The dwarves complain and urge him to say one of his infamous pick up lines and with a huff, the hobbit does as told. Bilbo turns to you, his green eyes look black from the lack of lighting, they glint with an unknown emotion to you, the hobbit lowers his gaze to your lips and runs his tongue over his, slowly he brings his eyes to yours and softly he whispers: "Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?"

Bilbo x Wife! Reader

“Never ending pick up lines”

The dwarves were gathered in the kitchen, watching as Y/N expertly cooked up a storm. As they chatted and joked around, one of them – it may have been Bofur – suggested they try out some pick-up lines on her.

"Hey, Y/N," Kili said, grinning mischievously. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Y/N rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Oh, is that your best shot?" she teased.

Bofur chimed in. “They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Looks like I’ll never take mine off you.”

Y/N laughed again, shaking her head. "Keep trying, boys."

Bilbo looked on in amusement, but as the teasing continued, he began to feel a little left out. He turned to Y/N with a sly grin. "Hello, my lady," he said, approaching her from behind hugging her waist. "Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart."

Y/N turned to face him, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she put her arms around him. "Oh, is that so?" she said, a hint of challenge in her tone.

Bilbo nodded, feeling his heart racing in his chest. "Yes, it is and I'd like to steal a kiss from you, too. As compensation."

Before he could react, Y/N leaned in and planted a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. The dwarves whooped and hollered, cheering the couple on.

As they pulled away, Bilbo was left feeling a little flustered but undeniably pleased with himself. "Well, I guess I've still got it," he said with a grin.

Y/N chuckled. "You never lost it, my love," she said, giving him another quick peck on the cheek. "Now, who's hungry for dinner?"