Borderline Personality - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

TIPP

Use this skill when you are overwhelmed by intense emotions or are feeling the urge to self-injure.

*If you’re in crisis and are having suicidal thoughts please call a Crisis Hotline! (Call 988 in the US)

T - Temperature: To relax fast or distract your mind with sensation, hold an ice pack to your cheeks or eyes or dunk your face in a bowl of ice water for at least 30 seconds to activate your Diver Reflex*.

*If you have high blood pressure, talk to your doctor before trying.

I - Intense Exercise: Doing a few minutes of vigorous exercise will release Endorphins. Try a few minutes of Jumping Jacks or running in place (or around the block). Play your favorite fast paced song and dance it out.

P - Paced Breathing: Breathe deeply into your belly, expanding your lungs as much as you can. Pace your inhales and exhales to 5-6 per minute. Then make your exhales longer than your inhales (5 seconds in, 7 seconds out).

*Try a 60 bpm Metronome track from your music streaming app or YouTube for pacing.

P - Paired Muscle Relaxation: Breathing deeply, tense your muscles (not so much that you cramp up) section by section, move your focus from your feet up your body. Tense up with every inhale, relaxing and melting with every exhale.

*More DBT guides here*

DEAR MAN

A DBT Skill for Interpersonal Effectiveness

Use this skill to help you get what you need without damaging relationships or compromising your integrity.

Describe: State the facts of the situation.

Express: Use I-statements to express your feelings and take responsibility for them. I-statements prevent the other person from getting defensive.

Assert: Assert yourself by asking for what you need or by saying no firmly. Speak simply and clearly.

Reinforce: Make sure the other person knows what they will gain by granting your request. It’s important to reinforce that the relationship is a two-way street.

(Stay) Mindful: Stay focused on the conversion. If the person starts getting defensive, keep the conversation on track.

Appear Confident: Regardless of how you feel on the inside, project confidence with your body language; stand or sit up straight with your head held high, voice clear and strong, and make eye contact.

Negotiate: If the person isn’t on board with your request, remember that you are asking for something, not making demands. Modify your request to make it more appealing to them, and/or try asking them their thoughts on solving the problem together.

*More DBT guides here*

Wise Mind

This diagram breaks down the states of mind that we experience.

Please note that neither side is “good” or “bad”; the aim of practicing mindfulness is to combine both and act in your own best interest.

Emotion Mind

Feelings control actions

Can disregard the facts of a situation

Impulsivity based on emotions in the moment

Self-injurious behavior 

Reasonable Mind

Logic controls actions

Detached from emotions

Can invalidate your emotional experience

Wise mind

Combines the facts of a situation with the emotional experience

Helps you process a situation before acting

Mindfulness will help get you here

*More DBT guides here*

ACCEPTS

A DBT skill for Distress Tolerance

Use this skill to help you get through moments of crisis

*The best way to utilize this skill is, when you're calm and not feeling any distress, make yourself a list of specific things you can do that correspond with each of these steps. Thinking of something to distract you when you're in the midst of an emotional storm is incredibly hard, so preparing a reference guide for yourself ahead of time is a way to show up for yourself.

*Corresponding worksheet to help you plan ahead*

A - Activities: Watch a comforting tv show or movie, clean, do a puzzle, any task that requires most of your attention so you can focus mindfully on it rather than your emotional spiral.

C - Contributing: Talk to a friend or family member, help someone with a task like cooking or cleaning.The goal being to focus on being with someone rather than being alone in your thoughts.*This obviously would not be a go-to if the person would further trigger you.

C - Comparisons: Compare this emotional storm to a past, worse experience as a way to remind yourself that you've survived before, and you can do it again. *Again, the point of this is not to further trigger yourself, but to prove to yourself that you're strong enough to get through this moment of distress.

E - Emotions: Activate opposite emotions by watching a funny video or recalling a happy memory.

P - Push Away: Mentally push away the triggering thoughts or situation until you are calmer and more regulated and able to deal with the emotions. Commit, for a few minutes, to picturing your problems going into a small box, closing them in it, shoving the box deep in the back of a closet and closing the door. This exercise is a very short term way to remove the weight from your shoulders.

T - Thoughts: Actively think about something completely unrelated to your triggers. Sing your favorite song from memory, do a crossword puzzle or a math problem.

S - Sensations: Interact with your 5 senses mindfully; hug a stuffed animal or a pet, hold ice in your hand and feel it melt, lay flat on the floor and feel your body pressing into the hard surface.

*The best way to utilize this skill is, when you're calm and not feeling any distress, make yourself a list of specific things you can do that correspond with each of these steps. Thinking of something to distract you when you're in the midst of an emotional storm is incredibly hard, so preparing a reference guide for yourself ahead of time is a way to show up for yourself.

*More DBT Skills Here*

ACCEPTS DBT Worksheet

*Corresponding DBT Skill*

This worksheet is a way for you to plan ahead and show up for yourself when you're in distress.

Print this out, fill it in and have it as a tangible list of things to take your focus off the emotional storm and avoid harmful coping mechanisms. 

List activities that will take your focus in the moment (for example draw, play a video game, put together a small puzzle)

List things you can do with someone who calms you (for example help with washing dishes, fold laundry, cook a meal)

List 2 times before when you were struggling emotionally and got through it (to remind yourself that you have before and can survive again)

List things you can do to activate opposite emotions (for example watch some funny videos to counteract sadness with laughter)

List numbers you can call for help (For example a crisis hotline, therapist, or loved one)

Bonus Project: Self-Soothing Tool Box 

Fill a small box with anything that you can grab in a moment of stress to occupy your 5 senses.

This can include things like fidget toys, stress balls, mini plushies, small puzzles (25 pieces or so), a laundry sheet or perfume that calms you, a print out of the lyrics to one of your favorite songs, photos of loved ones, a Box Breathing guide, post-it notes with helpful affirmations, and even sour candies or mints.

The goal here is to have a go-to collection of self-soothing assistants so you're not searching and struggling in the midst of your distress.

*More DBT Skill guides here*

Fuck mental illness

Sincerely: my clinically depressed, borderline ass

One of the sketches I made when my therapist asked to draw my mental state

You’d think,

That having been assigned a psychologist (who made my case their pet project, no less) and a psychiatrist that happen to be a married couple would make my recovery easier. Patient discretion be damned, I trust them both with my mental health. So I'd like to believe they discuss my case at least the tiniest bit.

I've notified my pshychologist over half a year ago about how I'd like to change my meds because they affect me negatively (if I take the prescribed amount, I get knocked out for 12+ hours), they said they'd get me an appointment with my psychiatrist.

I spoke to them BOTH about this issue, after that.  Several times. Yet nothing came of it.

'Oh, I'll lower the amount, then.'

Well fuck me sideways, I love a good sleep, but I'd actually like to be fucking functional during the day, so I could get my life back on bloody track.

I'm sorry for the rant, and I know this isn't what I usually post about, but I'm just... done.

I already wrote about my step-father's opinion on my mental problems over a year ago. Well this lovely man is now living with us again. It started with him not even acknowledging me, unless I did something he didn't approve of, then it gradually went downhill from there. At this point I don't feel welcome in what I thought was my home and am reluctant to leave campus and visit even on weekends.

This is bad because of two main reasons.

Firstly, because that's the one place where I truly feel at ease and spending time there, with my dogs, helps an immense amount. But the fact that I can't go join them in the living room without getting angry or annoyed glances and mutters from my step-father is slowly making me feel ostracised and incredibly alone in my own 'home'. I'd rather stay on campus. At least there I don't have to tip toe into the kitchen for water / food.

Secondly, my mum is guilt tripping me into going back anyways, assuring me to no end that that IS my home and constantly saying, in a hurt voice, that it pains her to see us feud and that the tension is awful - but only when we are alone and I think only to me. While not friendly, I have been nothing but polite to my step-father the whole time, I am at a loss at what else I could do to ease the situation.

We talked a bit about it today (before she shut me down, saying she is 'not in the mood') and one thing is clear: my step-father still believes that I am lying about my condition and that I'm just manipulating everybody, especially my mother. He still believes that I'm a deadbeat, spoiled brat, who is whining and avoiding responsibilities while using my diagnosis as an excuse.

I'm tired.

I want to talk to him, I want to talk to my mother. I want to talk this shit out, but it'd be a miracle if I ever get them to sit down with me.