But I Added An Emoticon - Tumblr Posts

I finally did it. Wrote 3 long pages for this friend who's practically family (or at least that's what I like to think) but now that it's their birthday, im freaking out. Took a lot of guts for a scaredy-cat like me to spill my heart out like this. And now, im too nervous to actually hand it over. What if they read it in front of everyone? (or even just in front of me? shoot, pls im not ready for that kind of stuff) ive poured out stuff ive never even said out loud. Holding those pages, my palms are sweaty, and my vision's blurry from the tears. I can't even breathe right. How am I supposed to face them after giving this? im tempted to just rip it all up, but part of me wants them to know, even if it terrifies me.