Calling Myself - Tumblr Posts

oh to be a young lad testing the ph balance of soil while tying cobras to my arms. they'd look at me in the street and go "look! look! everybody it's Johnny cobra-arms!"

soon I'm the hit of the soiree. then I see her there, sitting in the corner.

tell her I love how rich in calcium she is. it goes great.

but Jimmy fish-arms is there. we never stood a chance. he pushes past, flatters her.

worst of all, he's wearing three hats, while I only have a measly two.

I go back to the soil. the ph is perfectly balanced. I cry.