Computer Jack - Tumblr Posts

(it’s two of my favorite things together, thank you!)

Gone Series Characters as John Mulaney Quotes

Sam: You know those days where you’re like “this might as well happen”. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.

Caine: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die. 

Astrid:  My wife said that walking around with me is like walking around with someone who’s running for the mayor of nothing. 

Diana: Shut up! You’re all gonna die! STREET SMARTS.

Quinn: Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?

Edilio: I try to stay optimistic, even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.

Orsay: I’m new in town and it gets worse.

Jack: I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.

Howard: Stop snitchin’ motherfucker.

Roger: Hi, I’m very gay and I’d like a few dollars.

Sanjit: You could pour soup in my lap, and I’d probably apologize to you.

Dekka: Some people give off a vibe of, right away, they’re like “do NOT fuck with me”.

Drake: Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Cause it sounds like he sucks, and I will totally kill that guy for you.

Brianna: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.

Lana: One black coffee.

Bonus Sam + Caine: None of us really know our fathers. Anyway…