Depressing Poetry - Tumblr Posts

She's Gone. Into Darkness.

Black, deep black. She opens her eyes. Black, deep black.

Is this real? Is it? Is darkness real?

She looks around her. Black, deep black. Just. Plain. Black.

Is this a nightmare? Is it? Is she even alive? No, just simply existing.

What's the worst feeling? Darkness. Loneliness. Blackness.

Save her. Just pull her back, Don't let her fade away. Don't. Please, Save her.

Pleading. Praying. Is anyone even there? Can anyone hear her? Help her. Slowly... Fading... Going... She's swallowed by the darkness. She's gone. Gone... just like that.

She gave up.

-To my emotions, sincerely me- I buried you a long time ago, And somehow you won't let me go, I feel you crawling at the back of my mind, Trying to take control all the time, Your presence haunts my thoughts at night, But I hold you back with all my might. Because what use is a machine when it begins to rust? What use is paper if it turns to dust? Why are you still here when I'll never find trust? Since all you've ever done is destroy My success, my friendships, other people's joy, So stay in your box and it will soon be time, For you to finally die.

Like you.

I will never have silky, long hair that cascades down my back, I will never have gorgeous eyes that are the perfect shade of black, I will never be so kind that the world is grateful, I will never be so beautiful that the world is hateful. Simply put: I will never be like you. My abnegation barely runs skin deep, My emotions are something that only I keep, I won't do something to get his attention, No one ever knows I'm feeling tension. Simply put: I am not like you. I have never dreamt of a simple life, Pretty pinks are something I've never liked, I've never been as gentle as a soft breeze, I've never been able to make his knees weak. Simply put: I have never been like you. But I've at least been like me.

There's a void that dwells inside of me, It's getting so deep that's it's hard to breathe, I've tried to fill it with countless things, But none of them ever seem to succeed. False icons professing their love, Claiming they'll meet me in the skies above, Can only numb the pain for so long, When you realise that they're always gone. Their perfected code illicit response, That's meant to make me finally feel loved, And yet I listen to the computers' buzz, Realising how false my comfort was.

Persephone

Don’t look for me.

For I am buried under the sand that you deposited in the bottomless sea,

I suffocate everyday but I can’t scream whilst you’re not listening,

I’m trapped in the time that you created and when I think I can breathe, the air is forced out of me.

I could reach out my withering hand and have you pull me from the dark,

But I’d rather claw my way through the hot pit to which I have been cursed,

I’ll choke, blinded as I fight my way upward, forcing your prison away,

Instead of accepting your hand, as you planned me to do, tying me to your eternal winter,

When I could be greeted by Spring if I only rely on me.

So, don’t look for me.

For I’ll be gone by the time your boredom forces you to wonder,

All that will be left is a whisper by the shore,

But when you realise the mistakes you made, saturated with your unquenchable hate

I’ll be floating with the clouds on the warm Spring air,

And I’ll be so big and so far away that I’m untouchable,

And when you look at me from the sand below, all you might receive from me is a brief hello.

So please, don’t look for me.

I’ll make it on my own.

The familiar emptiness blooms from my chest, I'll keep crumbling until there's nothing left, Until all I am is a bittersweet memory, Maybe then, you'd think to remember me. Since the beginning I've been collecting the pieces, I've been fixing all of you, battling all of your demons, But when did you ever consider how I would feel? Inflicting damage nonchalantly, you never cared about me. I've always been here so you've never had to worry, You've never thought to hold your tongue in front of me, So don't be surprised when I leave all of you behind, When I finally make my life mine.

The hardest thing is feeling you everywhere.

I see your reflection in my morning coffee,

I feel your warmth in the summer breeze,

I hear your whispers in my favourite songs,

But I still can’t find you.

I

I smile.

Shoulders square, back straight, feet planted firmly in the ground.

If I squint slightly when I laugh it’s more believable.

They won’t notice.

I speak.

Voice loud, strong, pitch low, it bellows through the room.

If I raise my voice on every-other syllable it sounds more believable.

They won’t notice.

I move.

Averagely-paced, deliberate movements, flowing slightly.

If I lean forward with purpose as I walk it looks more believable.

They won’t notice.

I’m getting better.

They never notice, they never will.

I’m fine. Really.

No one would suspect me,

Because I’m the best actress alive,

That’s the only thing I’m certain of.

So when I say I’m fine,

They believe me.

And now, they don’t even ask.

My Ship pt 1

I traversed the stormy sea day and night,

I felt the wind in my hair, the salt on my tongue and had no plight,

I set course to wherever the wind blew me,

And after years of not knowing what home is,

I decided I’d try and find an island,

A safe haven, with golden sands and shallow, peaceful waters

So I found you.

You saw me lying there

Broken and alone,

You told me it would be easy

To fix myself,

All I have to do is love myself.

But I was never taught how.

Poem 002

"In order to stay true ourselves, we all will have to lie That we are happy where we are and aren't afraid to die. If life's a game, how can we win unless we can adapt; Our will to live will drain from us and be completely sapped. But if I change, then who has won? The me who started, or the me who's done? Am I the same Or have I changed? Even my name Becomes rearranged; I know my heart and mind and soul have grown and broke and hardened, But if they hadn't then I would not have lived and become ardent. Maybe who I am and who I was are the same person, But if I hadn't turned the page my story would have worsened." I was reinvigorated into writing more by someone's very polite and encouraging messages, so here's what I came up with. I'm definitely going to try writing a little more often and we'll see if it doesn't improve. Constructive criticism always welcome.

Poem 004

"It took some time to realize that I wasn't on your list Of all the lovely people you had loved or felt you missed, I stayed for you when all I wanted was to run away But when I asked for help you kept my feelings far at bay. I thought that you have loved me since we had a storied past, But of the people in your life you always put me last. I thought that if I tried my best you'd tell me that you'd cared, But you don't lie, so you won't say that you had ever dared. And thinking hard about it I have felt so very small To realize that you had never thought of me at all. I must have failed to understand or gone so very mad To think that you felt love for me or that you ever had." I still like a simple rhyme scheme. Maybe I could've split this into two poems (in order to make two poems out of one or two ideas) but I felt they went better together as one idea had provided me the insight towards another. Sorry for the bleeding heart, but it's sort of my MO to fall in love with people who can't (or would ever) love me in return... It's hard being counter dependent. Thanks for reading