Difanghua - Tumblr Posts
Let's talk about Li Xiangyi and Control!
Thank you to @istgidek1234 for putting up with three weeks of screaming and also more-or-less co-writing this with me <3.
Short disclaimer before diving into it: This is going to be part 1 of a 3 part series, one for each of liansanjiao. It’s hard to think about control and MLC and not realise that all three are fighting to take control of their own lives. They all do it differently for different reasons but it is a crucial, defining feature for each of them. It inevitably makes their relationship with each other a delightful heartbreaking combination of understanding but also never really seeing each other.
For now, let’s begin with our protagonist.
Li Xiangyi, wunderkind beyond compare who crashes and burns and then walks away. Li Lianhua, a man determined to bury his past self and become a whole different person, a ghost haunting its own end. And yet! Neither Li Xiangyi nor Li Lianhua can exist without trying to stay in control in any given situation. This is me trying to slot together the pieces of how and why he’s like that.
[WARNING: long, long post ahead].
As Li Xiangyi, the world makes him its Hero. He goes with it, but he has his own standards of what he as a Hero must do. He creates and leads a whole new sect, befitting this image. But it's not just a generic Really Good sect, is it? It has purpose. The Sigu Sect is built to ensure the coexistence of the Empire and the Jianghu, to ensure justice in the latter without sacrificing its independence. Li Xiangyi does something far more nuanced than the Hero Figure ever needs to do - he looks at a system that needs fixing and decides he should be the one to do it. He's taking control of the story people fit him into by making it fit his own sense of righteousness, goodness and honour.
He may be doing that through a Sect, but he makes himself the keystone. Remove him, and it all falls apart. He makes decisions on the fly without consulting the people involved (not telling Shan Gudao aka his co-sect leader and founder about the treaty) because he is sure that he knows what's best. Imagine the kind of constant control he must have needed to maintain over any situation to be able to make such an impact on the politics of this world. But he doesn't stop being the one in charge. And most people just let him, see it as his natural place, so it's all good! He is stretched thin across a dozen different responsibilities, but they can never get the better of him, because he is Li Xiangyi.
It looks like arrogance, and to an extent it is. But it’s also more. Is it his reluctance to trust the abilities of anyone else more than he trusts himself? Is it habit? He grew up being pitted against his brother as proof of his Master's worth, the love he has known has always been tangled up with this burden of expectation, which he never fell short of. He is always the best. He is adored for it. A teenager who has never known defeat before, exalted by the world! Of course he went along with it, moulded his sense of self and worth around it. He has spent far too long defining his worth by living up to the expectations of those who love him. But that sort of adoration is always fickle, always conditional.
The thing about never losing is that you don't stop to consider what happens when you do. When the burden grows too much to stay under his control, it's because he has lost for the first time. Qiao Wanmian leaving hits him hard, I think, because he was doing so much! He was meeting every expectation of who he should be, was it still not enough to have her love? There is anger and doubt. He alone decides on the treaty with Di Feisheng. And then Shan Gudao is killed, Li Xiangyi is betrayed, and it's the last straw. Losing for the first time in such a terrible way makes him furious, at himself and at those who he thinks betrayed his trust. He doubles down. He tries to seize back the control he's lost - all by himself as always - because it's the only way he sees to fix anything. He does it when dealing with betrayal and grief and rage the likes of which he's never known. The only way to fix the grief unraveling him is to get his brother’s remains back at any cost. And it ends in a massacre of thousands.
Li Xiangyi thinks that his blunder was the arrogance in believing he could fix the world in any way. His answer is to walk away. He has caused enough harm to the world as Li Xiangyi, so he will no longer be him. He no longer can, not with this poison in his body and with how badly he's let everyone down. The poison limits his abilities and makes him terminally ill. He can no longer rely on or control his own body the way he always has been used to. Those first few years must have been awful, while he was still learning how to live in this new state. It’s no wonder he finds some peace in shaping his immediate environment, in building a new life. He cooks, gardens, has a home he builds and looks after, has Huli Jing. He also gives himself a new direction, a new purpose - to put his past to rest, to repent in the only way he can.
Knowing is also a way of being in control. If Li Xiangyi's tool to keep control was the power and authority of the hero figure, Li Lianhua's are his lies (the biggest of which is his innocuous presence, his uselessness beyond being a physician). Li Lianhua loves to stick his nose into things and find out the truth, and he is good at it. These lies are his new weapon, stronger than the sword up his sleeve now - he uses them to stay in control of the situation. To decide who is allowed to know what. He also puts them as a shield between everyone who tries to come close, because he himself is one of the things that nobody is allowed to know.
It is while becoming Li Lianhua that the change happens - he goes from meeting every expectation to dodging even the potential of one more doggedly than ever. He must shape the rest of his life alone and make it his own and nobody else's. He will be Li Lianhua, no longer burdened by the world's expectations. Just his own. All that he expects from himself is deeply personal - find Shan Gudao's body, bury him with their shifu, and die. It is only right that he has nobody at his side - he let down every single person who had once loved him. Nobody else should bear this burden with him, because it is his and his alone.
And then come along Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng. One doesn't give a flying fuck about the lies and the other knows him well enough to see right through most of them. Fang Duobing is at first annoyingly naive, overzealous to do good (like SOMEONE used to be), then endearing, and then dangerously forgiving and caring. He is the most lethal attack to Li Lianhua's self-imposed isolation because he has no expectations, and isn't the slightest bit intimidated by Li Lianhua or Li Xiangyi (re: @potahun’s meta on lxy being a burden because he is just too good). He's the first who talks about Li Xiangyi as a person, not a legend. There's no getting rid of him, but Li Lianhua will be Li Lianhua. He lies and hides and dodges and lies again, well aware that he's hurting him each time. But he will keep doing so, because love always comes with expectations and he refuses to live up to those.
And then, enter Di Feisheng! The only one he considered trusting as an equal before it fell apart. Also the bearer of the revelation that the past is much more convoluted that Li Xiangyi knows. The past, which was the one thing Li Lianhua has seen as a permanent fixture, a mark of his failure, just got worse. He was manipulated. His Shixiong orchestrated all of this expressly for his downfall. Instead of alleviating Li Xiangyi's guilt, it makes it worse - had he been a better leader and known better, he may have avoided falling for it. Had he not been the person he was, maybe his brother wouldn't have become the man he is today either.
And as before, the more things spiral out of control, the more Li Xiangyi doubles down. He knows better than to try and fix the world this time, he has long decided that the thing he can control is his own life, away from the legends; he needs to know what the truth is, so he can decide what his end should be. But the more he learns, the worse it gets, because his entire life - the people he was closest to, his own identity - is being reshaped. The entire goddamn story is his attempt to have some measure of control of his past, present and future - of his story - while everyone and everything is flying right in the face of it. He distances himself from the legend of Li Xiangyi so he can live as himself. He copes with the past by trying to cut it off and by taking charge of his future, but guess what! The past is a living, growing thing of the present, long out of his control - he knew nothing of Shan Gudao’s hatred. Nothing of his heritage. Nothing about the brother he'd lost. This rogue past is also twisting his present and future out of his control.
Towards the last few episodes, we dare to think he's starting to learn how to share the burden. That he might be letting Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng be a part of this, he is trusting them and himself not be alone all over again. And then! The fucking Styx flower!!!! This excellent meta by @angryteapott really explains it the best. Once again he makes a decision alone, in the name of ensuring that everyone that matters to him stays safe. He knows Fang Duobing will fight it and Di Feisheng will probably commit regicide if he gets wind of it. He doesn't even consider working out an alternative, and makes that decision for everyone's good, because he knows best and the others are better off not knowing.
He will die. So what? Di Feisheng will be forced to move on and find a purpose beyond Li Xiangyi. Fang Duobing will be heartbroken, but he is meant for better things than a life of following Li Lianhua around. He himself can no longer live a carefree life as Li Lianhua, because the world has hijacked his story once more and he barely knows what the truth behind the stories is anymore. He had a brother he lost. He is the lost prince. It was just one story after another. Is it really any surprise that being in charge becomes more necessary when all of his past has been a lie? As @istgidek1234 put it, him throwing himself into every issue that comes his way is a way of finding his agency and taking control of his narrative. He is lost, and he doubles down. Li Xiangyi, Li Lianhua need to die and he is too tired to build another life. And so he leaves, to choose and control at least his end.
But, well. As any of the people he left behind would tell you, he doesn’t know jack shit. Li Xiangyi's mistake 10 years ago wasn't trying to fix something unfixable. It was trying to fix it all by himself. In his attempt to tie up the strings of the past, Li Lianhua makes the same awful mistake. He presumes, he keeps everyone out of the loop, he decides for everyone who loves him because he knows better. He is so arrogantly presumptuous! But isn’t it more? It’s also the fear that his very presence will hurt them again. That any attachment will come with strings that will make him into someone he is not once again. He must remain unattainable. He's so caught up in controlling his story that he tries to untangle it from everyone else's. But he can't. Leaving means they will simply carry him forever in their grief. Over and over, the story tells us that for those who really love him, losing him is the greatest pain. Over and over, Li Lianhua decides that he knows better, they will be better off without him.
There is, of course, the more meta reading of the ending (check out @redemption-revenge's amazing post about it!). The one where Li Xiangyi is simply closing the chapter titled Li Lianhua to begin another, away from the gaze of the world and beyond the shape of this story. Maybe that’s a version where he lets himself be found by Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng. Where escaping our scrutiny allows him to be vulnerable enough to accept their companionship without too much of the lies and presumption, where he can find and make peace with himself and live.
rofl
Guess what we're watching.
nuclear grade thirst, my love 😳😳😳
Xiao Shunyao
Aka our dearest Ah Fei in real life
However in this post, we are not going to talk about his biography, nope. We are about to focus on a much deeper aspect. *Sigh*
Simping!
Yes, more precisely simping about Xiao Shunyao's piercings and tattoos.
So let's buckle up and dive in!
Xiao Shunyao - Piercings and Tattoos
1. Eyebrow Piercing
Our beloved YaoYao sports a stunning eyebrow piercing in his left eyebrow. He mostly films after taking them out, so you might've noticed a scar there.
Picture courtesy to : AP and Ybybyb on weibo
2. Nip piercing
Ahem well, this might be partially mature themed and if you are uncomfortable with such, you might consider avoiding reading further.
Yes, Xiao Shunyao has a nip piercing and you can see that here. (Picture Courtesy: Xiao Shunyao Official Weibo)
Now, TATTOOS!
Yes. He has tattoos. SEVERAL of them.
1. HUSTLER
From the medias Xiao Shunyao had shared beforehand, his biggest tattoo is on his left bicep. It says 'Hustler' in decorated cursive. (Please note this is very old. About 10 years old. He might have modified it by now.)
Picture Courtesy : Xiao Shunyao Official Weibo (in the first image it might look that it's on right arm, but that's a selfie.
2. 23 a cute little curved ♡ and a little triangle
Even though the tattoos are unexplained and mostly covered probably because of China's broadcasting rules, Xiao Shunyao is often seen sporting a small 23 and curved heart tattoo. And further up, there's a litte triangle, just above 23.
Picture credit : Ybybyb on weibo (left) and Xiao Shunyao Official Weibo (right)
3. The Stripe Sleeve of Inscriptions (undisclosed)
There's quite a wide stripe of inscriptions tattoo running down his right arm, from inside of his wrist to all the way to the base of shoulder joint. Please note that this tattoo is also very old and might have been modified (mostly added new elements) in the mean time.
Even though it's undisclosed for whatever reason, from the look of it, it might be a Tibetan sloka script. But it's just an assumption.
Around 2013:
Around 2023 (only a sneakpeek):
Picture Courtesy: Xiao Shunyao Official Weibo and Xiao Shunyao fanclub on weibo
4. Five little stars! ✯✯✯✯✯
One of his small tattoos, on his right wrist (outwards). There's five tiny stars, with one relatively bigger and an arc of four smaller ones and as @qinzai has pointed it out, the closest decipher of the stars representing the national flag of China.
5. TRAMP STAMP
LAST but definitely not the LEAST! THE LOWER BACK TATTOO!!!!!!! (OH MY GOD HOW CAN THIS MAN GET HOTTER!!???)
IT'S A SPIDER
even tho looked like a crab on first glance. However (Hot damn man??! Wtf)
Okay, this was it! Well, not really, I wanted to rant and simp more and flood with pictures but Tumblr limited the number of pictures. Hence I'll be posting sneak-peeks of his Piercings and Tattoos on twitter and link it in here! Take a look if you feel like ~♡
https://x.com/DiMenzhou/status/1708506967310991497?s=20
P.S. - I am thirsty bye-
Okay hear me out red string of fate mlc au (rough timeline) (you only see your string(s) and who they connect to but no one else's)
(This is long as fuck actually)
Li Xiangyi who grows up in the streets with two strings. One is red and sometimes he thinks about following it to see where it leads but he never does. He meets shan gudao and eventually gets picked up by his shifu (I forgot what he calls him in the show, so) and at some point learns that the grey string tied in a bow on his opposite hand means his other zhiji hasn't been born yet.
(Lxy doesn't think anything about this until one march morning years later the string bursts into colour and unravels forward when he's training (you can fight me on this but fdb is ABSOLUTELY a spring baby born in the morning. Something about the coming of new life and the dawn of a new day and how that's what he symbolises). Because of the mostly-romantic connotations of strings he's guilt-ridden over his zhiji being a decade (or thereabouts? I don't remember the actual age gap in the show) younger than him before he forcibly puts it out of his mind)
Fast-forward to when he meets qiao wanmian. They become close friends and basically everyone thinks they're fated. But a-mian sits him down to quietly tell him that she has no string, none at all, that they really aren't fated and never will be. And lxy, who, in the nights he lies awake, still is guilty about being ten years older than his youngest zhiji (he doesn't know whether his other one is older or younger than him, the string was already red by the time he was old enough to retain memories), lies and says he doesn't have a string either. But he wants to court her because he loves her. That part, at least, is true: li xiangyi loves qiao wanmian.
And then he starts the sigu sect and eventually meets di feisheng. Their first meeting is only in passing but they lock eyes and lxy sees not only the moment when it registers that they're zhiji but also the moment when dfs sees that he's walking arm in arm with a-mian. They both walk away none the wiser to each other's identities.
It's only when they meet for the first time as di-mengzhu, leader of the jinyuan alliance, and as li xiangyi, the number one swordsman in the jianghu, and cross swords does lxy truly realise what this means. Their string spools out between their bodies, fluttering away between their swords, as he realises that he and this zhiji of his are on opposite sides. That their string is the only thing that connects them across their unfathomable chasm.
(It isn't. Lxy doesn't know it but dfs admires his swordsmanship. Dfs thinks they have a lot in common via neili and fighting techniques and their devotion to their crafts but he thinks that lxy knows this. He doesn't say anything about it because he assumes that lxy knows this and also because it's common knowledge he and qiao wanmian are going to get married. So lxy never knows)
Afterwards lxy becomes consumed with red strings of fate. He obsessively starts searching for stories where the zhiji turn out to be enemies. He finds almost nothing (most of what he finds is enemies to friends, or worse, enemies to (friends to) lovers, and all of it he throws out in disgust) and in his frenzy he begins neglecting his relationship with a-mian.
The ultimate betrayal comes when lxy learns that dfs killed shan gudao. A-Mian just recently broke up with him and that combined with his zhiji killing his shixiong is what does it. It spells the beginning of the spiral of li xiangyi.
Switch to di feisheng. He'd thought they had an understanding and sigu sect and the jinyuan alliance were approaching peace talks but suddenly lxy is killing his members left and right. He has no idea what this is about until jiao liqiao congratulations him on killing shan gudao. He grunts in confusion but everyone talks it to mean he did it. So dfs just had to roll with it.
There's nothing he can do about it. Dfs sends people to investigate sgd's death and trains. There is a real and oncoming war soon and so he issues a challenge to duel lxy on the eastern sea.
(The war comes anyway)
(Di Feisheng loses something on that ship anyway)
He spends the next ten years while he's in seclusion recovering thinking about it. About lxy, the bright, brilliant zhiji who was never his. About the fact that he killed his own zhiji. About the moment when, as he sank into the water, he'd closed his eyes and thought that following his zhiji to the underworld wouldn't be so bad.
Execpt that li xiangyi isn't dead. His string isn't white, is still as red as the robes he wore, and it still leads somewhere he doesn't know. Dfs takes a sort of pride in this. Of course lxy wouldn't die in their duel. Of course he's strong enough to come out of it alive.
He doesn't really think about his xiao-zhiji at all, except when he touches that string and wonders if lxy is also connected to this person. He wants to meet them someday to test their skills, to take them to meet lxy. In seclusion dfs makes that deal with himself - he'll make his zhiji meet, and then he'll leave them with each other, because for all he knows, li xiangyi still hates him.
(I picture it going dfs > lxy/llh > fdb age-wise, with dfs only being a some months older than lxy/llh. But neither of them know that because of their childhood circumstances)
He leaves seclusion with this goal in mind.
And then he figures out - as a six-year-old, no less - that his zhiji have already met each other. That they've been traveling in tandem for months and have been solving cases. That li xiangyi is for some reason li lianhua (he knows why. The first thing jiao liqiao had said to him was congratulations on killing li xiangyi). That this stupid naïve little puppy named fang duobing is his xiao-zhiji.
Llh treats fdb kindly. He's mischievous and he teases fdb about inconsequential little things and dfs burns, because he still remembers lxy vividly wanting to kill him. He burns because this is side of him he's never seen and he burns because his xiao-zhiji is already used to this and he burns because he wants that too.
Whether he forgets that after he writes li lianhua's name on his hand doesn't matter then.
Switch to fang duobing. He's really fucking annoyed by the fact that no one is telling him anything. He's been traveling with llh for months, but despite the fact that they both know they're zhiji he won't talk about it. He won't even answer any questions about that kid.
Fdb isn't an idiot. His strings have been red ever since the day he was born. No way is some kid not even half his height his zhiji. The math doesn't work out.
(This is terrible, llh thinks. Of course he knows dfs has been alive because his string never turned white. Of course he recognized that little face as dfs' before he even saw the string connecting them. Of course he realised what was up as soon as fdb started pestering him about that kid and whether or not he has another string. Of course he knows dfs must've clocked it too.)
Fdb is severely skeptical when the Iron Head Slave or whatever llh claimed he was shows up and llh tells him they're old friends. But he's delighted to meet his other zhiji formally - right up until the point when they have their first chopstick battle over the food. At that point he becomes exasperated, and then he becomes ready to throw down once they begin arguing over who gets the guest bed.
(Fdb believes in respecting your elders but dfs is showing him absolutely no respect so guess what? He can sleep on the floor. Not even his handsome looks will help him win the fight)
(They end up squished together on the bed, both of them fuming because llh told then to just share)
(He and dfs never talk about their string, but they both observe enough to be able to tell that they're both connected to llh. They don't talk about this either, but sometimes llh will do something especially stupid or crazy or clever and they'll Look At Each Other)
(And then they can't about it, because A-Fei is learning from scratch)
But then he learns that A-Fei (who used to correct him when he playfully called llh da-ge, saying that he was er-ge and that fdb should be calling him da-ge, and fdb had gotten so tired of him and llh fighting with their eyes that he just straight-up called him gege with his most shit-eatting grin, to which dfs stared at him before dragging him outside to beat his ass) (who, after he lost his memories, would sleep in the bed with him with their backs against each other, and fdb loved feeling like his zhiji thought he could watch his back, and even if A-Fei was a stupid early riser and his half of the bed was always cold when he woke up it meant that he could always smell breakfast cooking downstairs) (who, after all, fdb felt like he was finally understanding) is actually di feisheng, villain of the jianghu, he feels like everything they'd had together was built on lies. He asks llh if he knew, if he knew that his (their, their zhiji, but llh still won't talk about it) zhiji was dfs, and then he has to go on with the knowledge that he was the only one kept in the dark.
And then when he learns that li lianhua was li xiangyi all along it really dawns on him then. His zhiji have known each other for years (and everyone thought they had killed each other on the eastern sea, and something about that is so wrong that fdb can't even think about it) and never told him the truth. They said that they were friends (llh said that) and that they knew each other for years (llh said that) and everything he knows about them is based on lies of omission and half-truths (that llh told him). He's torn and he's hurt and he's angry, angry at himself and everyone else.
(If he had known though, would things have stayed the same? Would he have laughed the same way if he knew the man he was wrestling in the dirt with was dfs, would he have still made the same suggestions on how to improve in cooking if he knew the man making the food was li xiangyi?)
(it isn't until li lianhua/li xiangyi are gone, though, that he realises that dfs was used by llh in the same way that he was)
Except that when li lianhua dies, there's two people who have to look at a red string that's supposed to be white.
(Switch to li lianhua. He crawls back from the underworld but what does he have left? The strings on his fingers are red, red like happiness, and aren't those two better off without him anyway? He's finally burned all the bridges of all of his relationships. It's time that he start over again.)
(Except that he stumbles upon the Lotus Tower anyway. He stumbles upon Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing and even as he asks them why they still even want him, he's crying, reaching for them, and there's tears on all their faces.)
ok mlc fandom i'm curious about something
please reblog to help with sample size!
mlc fandom i am still curious
so as a follow up to the previous poll, i want to try to drill into the large ot3 contingent a bit, if possible.
consider the question as if you had to put the component parts in order of preference. yes, there's a button for if you really can't pick, but please only use it if you really really need to. if you can put your full ranking in the tags, that would be helpful too.
please reblog to help with sample size!
“Li Xiangyi,” Di Feisheng said. Nothing more, nothing less. His voice was almost reverent when he used that name. He hadn’t called him by it since they’d found him, saved him. It made Li Lianhua’s breath catch. “This Li Xiangyi gets way too many chances,” he muttered. He was supposed to have died a long time ago. He’d buried him for a decade, and the past had come along and dug him back up. Then he’d once again thrown Li Xiangyi away after tying up every loose thread, and yet, Li Xiangyi lived because there were those who spoke him to life. Li Xiangyi lived because Li Lianhua couldn’t quite stop answering to the name when it was uttered in this voice. Or: Li Lianhua deals with having to live on after a decade of expecting death.
I started this fic thanks to @lyselkatz and their lovely feihua art! It sort of got buried in wip hell, but I dug it back up and this happened. Set in post-canon where Li Lianhua has been found and saved by Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing, and is almost fully recovered. They're figuring this new life out. Baby steps!!
Listen as much as I love the thought of crying Fang Duobing a genuinely hurting Fang Duobing makes me wanna kms.
And LLH and DFS agree.
Because he doesn't whine or pout when he's upset, he goes silent as he tries to hold himself together even though the tears continue to gather.
Li Lianhua full on panics(inside) not knowing how to fix it and tries to give him space but also because he can't see him like that, it hurts too much.
Di Feisheng does not want to leave Fang Duobing alone in that moment, and wants to keep him in his eyesight.