Elijah Post - Tumblr Posts
Hiiii!!! I never posted this drawing here ajajsjsk well there it is ;p
i’d imagine that before mirrors, people didn’t know what they looked like. they knew of their beauty only through the lens of their lover and didn’t need the confirmation of a mirror. i know this because since i’ve met you, i don’t spend time in front of the mirror anymore. i only need to hold your gaze to know that i’m beautiful.
Perhaps it is the fact it is currently nearing 2:30 in the morning, because I do not speak often, but I have been reminded of things from this post.
Closer to when I first formed, in an attempt to get closer to us, a system we had recently met threw a headmate sharing my source into front. I have a... relatively obscure source, I believe, so that alone was a surprise. My relationship with my source is complicated, especially with the person they were sourced from (apologies if that is incorrect wording, I hope you understand what I am getting at). My memories, while similar to my source, differ greatly from it. I acted civil and friendly, but in a moment where I was meant to be our protector, I faltered in the face of this.
They called me a pet name without asking, and I felt my stomach churn. I could not keep myself speaking or in front for very long afterwards, and I had to return later to eventually cut that person off; what I had intended to do when I first spoke to them.
I have had a handful of people treat me strangely since then. I have been infantilized, I have had my identity invalidated in favor of headcanons. Fronting in front of people we do not trust has become near impossible for me unless I have a task in mind.
Please, be normal about fictives. We are not puppets for your headcanons. We are not fictional.
We are just as much people as you are.
we have a ___ fictive in our system
‘OMG LET ME MEET THEM THEYRE MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER’
our headmate is not a character, the alters in our system are very much real people who mostly don’t associate themselves with their sources.
don’t be weird towards fictives just because you like their source it’s really uncomfortable
what is it like having a partner system ?? how did you connect in that way ? [we saw you mention having one we believe sorry if wrong/invasive . ] - :] anon
🦢 Hello, :] anon. We do not think it's invasive, don't worry.
Our partner system is @cassettecoll , and we have known them for about four or five years now, if my math is correct. They were the main person who helped us discover our system and communicate with each other better.
For us, the term partner system is inclusive of the feelings that are similar between all of us, but shift in exact definitions. We, collectively, love their collective. The form that love takes can change, though; For example, while I am romantically committed to Aerwyn, Elwood sees them as a paternal figure.
🌰 (god damn you talk so formally anyway thats my momma :3)
🦢 The point is, while those exact definitions may change, we all love them, and the word "partner" encompasses all of that to us. We are partners in all aspects.
Similarly, we have a sibling system, @thefishbowlcollective . This term is more specific, but we collectively view them as family of some kind. We met them about three years ago if I had to estimate, and love them dearly as well.
Occasionally we will sort of "claim" time to spend with our partners in the Cassettes, or they will request time with us. A few of us have been struggling with sharing time, but we are getting used to it steadily.
🌰 as for the connection itself, it's kind of hard to say? it's been so long that we've known each other, before we even had the words for having a partner system, that it feels like they've always been here. ive said this before but i don't know what i'd do or where i'd be if they weren't here, and i don't want to find out.
sorry for the sap but we are the trees aren't we? :3