Febuwhump Day 1 - Tumblr Posts

Febuwhump day 1! Touch starved

Fandom: Star Wars

Time: A few years after Order 66

  Obi-wan Kenobi had been alone for a long time. He misses many things. Many things. These feelings often came in waves, sometimes all at once. Missing his family, his life, his happiness. The feelings both mental and physical were the things he craved but understood he could never have again. 

Obi-wan glanced at the window. He noted the shades of orange he loved so much. They reminded him of his commander, his lover, his Cody. Of course he didn't really know if he could or should still call him that. However Obi-wan chose to believe that Cody had his reasons to do as he did, to try to kill him with no known reason to him.

    Walking outside Obi-wan would watch the sunset. The warmth reminded him of the warmth he felt from long embraces. But of course the sun would set and long hugs would end.

    Walking back inside Obi-wan closed the door with a sigh. He walked a very short distance to his bed and laid down. The thoughts of his former lover stayed with him. He began to think how he missed being greeted with short hugs and soft kisses when entering a room that the two were alone in, how cuddles after long, cold missions felt, the warmth of being so close together and feeling so safe with each other. He found himself missing the warm feeling of fingers running over scars.

    Of course the thoughts of Cody couldn't stay loving for long. Obi-wan was reminded of the order. This would remind him of the jedi. the Jedi he had been friends with.

    There was Plo Koon, a very gentle and sweet man who treated everyone kindly. He remembered Plo giving him a long and caring hug after Qui-gon had died. He could swear Plo gave some of the best hugs in the galaxy.

    Qui-gon. Qui-gon knew exactly what to do in most many scenario. When Obi-wan was stressed Qui-gon would rest his hand gently on his shoulder and reassure him everything would be alright. Now Obi-wan just wished for any reassurance at all.

    Qui-gon would spiral into thoughts of Anakin, his brother. Anakin was always a very touchy person. He constantly would poke at Obi-wan when he needed something or simply wanted his master's attention. Anakin's hugs had always been something he looked forward to. Anakin liked giving people physical affection. Obi-wan suspected that it was from never receiving much when he was younger.

    With thoughts of Anakin came thoughts of Ahsoka, Rex, Padme, and the twins.

    Obi-wan sat up trying to shake the thoughts of his past family but he knew he wouldn't be able to. Standing up he walked towards the door. He opened the door and as the somewhat chilly air hit him the thoughts went to the back of his mind. He didn't need to think of the people he knew and loved. The people who rather betrayed him or died. 

    Being outside didn't help for very long as the thoughts creeped back in. Ahsoka had also enjoyed Physical affection. She liked piggy back rides and often got them from Anakin and Rex. Of course Obi-wan had given her a few over the years. Ahsoka was a very kind soul, one who was done so wrong by the times and by the jedi. He hoped she was still out there somewhere, wishing to see her again, to give her one last piggy back ride or to have one last hug but he understood it simply wasn't possible.

    Obi-wan knew he needed sleep. Trying to stay outside and brush off the thoughts of loved ones simply wouldn't work. Walking back inside he thought of old friends now all gone. Closing the door he walked back towards the bed, laying down again. He grabbed his own hand and held it. It didn't help much but it was something and right now he needed anything. Well he needed his family, his friends but he couldn't have those. Not anymore.

    Tears began to run down his face as he curled himself into a ball. He wished he had someone who could be there to comfort him. But no one would come. The only thing that would come would be the suns in the morning telling him it was time to leave. Maybe just maybe his thoughts would leave with the night.

Februwhump Day 1: Helpless

Fandom: Star Wars Rebels

Summary: Kanan opens up about 66.

  It was time. Kanan had never told anyone about order 66. He sat down with Hera and sighed. "Hey love, how are you doing?"

    Kanan didn't answer. He looked at her.

    "I know today is hard on you. Just let me know if you need anything." She stood, assuming like every year, he wanted to be alone.

    "I felt helpless." He spoke. "I was helpless."

    Hera turned around and sat back down in the pilot's chair. She watched Kanan as he shifted, trying to make himself more comfortable.

    "When they killed my master, I had been walking with a few clones. The group was called the bad batch. They had some genetic mutations. That's probably what saved me." Tears already threatened to spill from his eyes.

    "I heard shots. I turned around and the men were trying to kill her. I- I ran. She told me to. It was the last thing she ever said. The bad batch had ignored the order, other than one. They let me go."

    The Jedi looked up at Hera for the first time since he started talking. "I was helpless. From then until I met you, I felt so helpless. It was like I couldn't get control of my own life. Rather it was the alcohol or the memories, I just couldn't."

    The pilot grabbed Kanan's hand gently. "It's okay."

    "I've only felt that helpless a few times. I watched her die Hera. I couldn't save her. I felt that way when Ezra fell back when the Grand Inquisitor died. I thought-" his voice broke. "I can't do that again."

    Tears fell down his face. Hera pulled him into a hug. They stayed there for a minute before Kanan pulled back. "I feel helpless to fate."

    "It's going to be okay."

    "Okay."