Feeling Blogging - Tumblr Posts

I Just gonna dump some personal feelings, read, or don’t it’s your life. 

I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of panicking like I can feel it. Constantly I can feel how wound up I am, shoulders and jaw are tense, I can feel my heart beating in my chest, and stomach twist. 

If I focus on my own thoughts too much all I can hear is how much I’m going to screw everything I ever attempt up and how I'm going to fail school and fail at getting a job and fail at ever succeeding anything. 

AND IT SUCKS it fucking sucks so much like I don’t want to be constantly refocusing on thing after thing just so I can get away from my own thoughts. I don’t want to be constantly terrified of failing at a thing because I know how unhealthy that is. I want to get over it but I can’t see myself or what that would look like for me. 

I just don’t want to be afraid. I’m working on it, I am working on a lot of things and I need to focus on the fact that I’m DOING something about it and not letting it stew, that is a success. It is an uphill battle but at the very least I am making a movement.