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Self Portrait

I was terrible at making art; forever I have tried my hand at it, but no matter how much time I spend, I can't draw anything remotely decent. One day I mentioned my lack of skill to a friend who was going for an art degree at the local college, and he told me about this old technique and special paper that they used to use back in ancient times and how he'd look into getting some for me.

So I waited for what felt like years until a package arrived at my door. It was a simple brown box with my name and nothing else on it. After bringing it inside, I was compelled to open it, excited to see what this "ancient secret" was, but all I saw inside was what looked like furs, green paint, tusks, and a large piece of canvas. I let out a sigh: "Really?" "Dude decided to play a joke on me, but an entire Orc costume?"

Days later, it was late Friday night, and I decided to see what his "technique" could really do, so I took the costume into my bathroom and stripped down, making sure to read the label on the glass jar that held the paint. I noticed that half of it was written in Latin, really dedicated to the bit I see. After almost an hour, I had my entire body covered in the paint; it seemed like the jar had just enough to cover everywhere, and it seemed to dry almost instantly. I put on the fur coverings and tusks before stepping outside and reading the instructions that were in the box: "For best results, place the canvas on the floor; stand in the middle of said canvas while closing your eyes and counting to 10." With nothing else going on, I decided to go along with it. After setting up everything, I began to count "1..2..3..4..5" and so on until I reached 10, and then I felt as though the world fell away, and I swear I heard a voice, like mine but deeper and more twisted.

I fell for what felt like hours; I must've blacked out from the paint fumes or something, because my head hurt. As I tried to get up, I realized I couldn't move, and then I heard a voice, my voice: "Ah, good to see you're finally coming too; honestly, it took you long enough to try it out; I've been waiting for your friend to give me this body for ages, and damn, does it feel good?" The figure speaking was me, but different in an almost imperceptible way, and it took me a second, but I finally realized I was on the canvas!

After hours of him, the imposter, going on and on about how great and powerful he was, I had decided to give up. I tried and tried, but nothing I did could help me leave this painting. I gave in and accepted my fate. Looking at the bright side, however, I finally was able to make a decent bit of art.