Funny Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts
So, I saw this butter at Walmart and I turned and asked my mom:
Me: "Ghee"? Really?
Mom: Yeah, it's a weird butter, a lot of fat in that...
Me: oh...
Mom: *Continues shopping*
Me: Is that why it's called "Ghee"? Because they say "Ghee" *Cue disgusted face* when they eat it?
so my neighbor just got another truck that's Identical to his first one...
Me: (upon seeing the two trucks) What?
Me:
Me: (Lifting up sunglasses) Sir, I think I'm seeing double.
Use This Next Time Your Best Friend Gets A New Partner!
My best friend just got a new boyfriend and for a couple weeks before I met him I was pondering what to say to him as a warning. I decided on this phrase:
"You hurt (BFFs name) and not even the maggots will find your body."
You're Welcome, Overprotective Besties!
Merlin: Isn't this crazy?
Arthur: What?
Merlin: My heart is beating so fast right now.
Arthur, blushing: Why?
Merlin: There's a cockroach near your feet.
Arthur: *screeching*
John: yeah, every time you open your mouth
Sherlock: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off?
John: *confused* What?
Mycroft: *enters room*
Sherlock: *jaw clenches*
Aaron Z, calling Robaire : Guys, where're you at ? This place is so fancy and I don't know which fork to kill myself with.
Jim : I don't have a type.
Also Jim when strong, independent women that are very caring with a candid heart, who also have predator eyes for some reasons, enter in his life : Oh.
Jim : I do have a type.
1993, hanging out at Robaire and Maggie's home
Maggie, 8 : Hey, Z.
Aaron Z, 13 : Yeah ?
Maggie : You're like.. black yeah ?
Z : Yeah.
Maggie, already giggling : But also... also asian, right ?
Z : Yeeah ?
Robaire, 13, giggling because it's automatic : I'm not sure to like where this is going...
Maggie, still giggling : S-so... does that make you... a blasian ? *wheezes*
Robaire : PfFT- *scoffs*
Z :
Z, sparking eyes : Yeah. I'm blasian.
Since that summer afternoon, he's calling himself a blasian and Maggie still wonder why he got the joke so seriously
I feel bad for Maggie because every time she tries to make fun of the boys, they're so optimistic about her that they turn her jokes into actual good ideas 😞 That is basically why she's always dragging in their paws like their leprechaun or smth lol (also why they are always around her)
Jim, uspet : For crying out loud, you BROKE UP with Konomaë ??
Ivy, crying desperately : I had to ! We-we were growing apart, and we're better off without each other...
Jim : You're as convincing as the day you "accidentally" destroyed my old yellow spiders jacket. (SITS NEXT TO HER.) Ivy, get on the phone, call Konomaë and fix this.
Ivy, still sobbing : I can't..! The damage is done... Can you just hold me ?
Jim : You know what ? No ! I don't agree with what you did, and so, I refuse to comfort you... despite how adorable you are when you cry.
Ivy, weeping and whimpering : Okay...
Jim :
Jim : Okay, maybe just one cuddle, but then that's it.
Ahsoka: *Holding a holocam, recording* Okay, okay, here it goes...
Anakin: *Glancing from side to side, thinking no one will hear it except Ahsoka* Alright. *Clears throat and yells* WHAT THE KRIFF?!
Obi-wan: *Opens the door without knocking* What was that, Anakin?
Ahsoka:
Anakin:
Ahsoka: Hey, Master Kenobi.
Anakin: *Got nervous* I-uh, uh, nothing, Master. Just having fun with snips.
Obi-wan: Oh, well then. Make sure you don’t get into trouble.
Anakin: Fine, old man. Now get out of my room, you ruining my act.
Obi-wan: *Closes the door and walks away*
Anakin:
Ahsoka:
Anakin: Oh Master, you ain’t gonna walk in like a sassy old shit ignoramus who doesn’t know how to knock. *putting shades on*
Ahsoka: Oooh...*giggles*
Obi-wan: *Slams the door open and throws a book at Anakin* Hey, watch your mouth, you sickass punk bitch!
Anakin: *Got hit and fell*
Ahsoka: *Glancing down at Anakin*
Obi-wan: *Putting shades on*