Genuinely Your Bad Jokes Are Amazing - Tumblr Posts
This SENT ME hdbabsbbsbsbs I was already giggling when I started reading this but now I'm just laughing my butt off I achg- ehsbabsbsbsnsb
the best pun award goes to… || jamil viper
shitty puns to deal with studies. threats are made.
a/n: i finished my second 100 mark assignment y'all TT^TT how do I finish 5 more this week if i get home at 8 in the night + have exams next week sobbing [i will manage ig]
word count:
jamil viper birthday event [taglist closed!!]
“Are you chocolate? because I'm cocoa-nuts about you.”
“[name], astagfirullah, stop.”
The library was silent, as most of nrc’s students had gone to the now up-and-running port for the weekend, and that meant that only you and your ‘hubby’, as you called him to tease him, were left covering Monday's test syllabus surrounded by tomes.
He hadn’t given up trying to explain to you the process of magestone creation and why exactly trade embargoes were put on the scalding sands roughly 400 years ago, but you’d long since given up trying to understand, instead turning to shitty romance puns in an attempt to “seduce him very sexily because lingerie is expensive”.
“All you knead is a little of love, and you will rise.”
“What.”
“No wait, that was really shitty. Uhhhh… okay, how about this? You will forever be my significant otter.”
“I don’t want to be your significant other, let alone your otter.”
“You promised me no breakup threats!!”
“I rescind that. That otter pun was horrible. -12/10.”
“Damn, okay, uhhh… okay! How about this one? I will never desert you.”
“... Is this because I’m from the fucking Scalding Sands?”
“I’m reaching for shit okay!!”
“Glad to hear you admit it.”
“You’re so hiss-terical.”
“Even worse. -40/10.”
“Not like you can make puns anyway.”
“You haven’t let me try. Let me think…” Jamil quietens as you wait expectantly, bouncing your leg. “Ah. Ahem. I adore your cheesy puns because then I get to say brie mine?”
“Is that… is that a question or an attempt?” you asked, trying not to laugh.
“That’s it, I’m breaking up with you.”
“MEANIE! YOU SAID NO BREAKUP THREATS!!”
“What if it’s not a threat?”
“Then I’ll bite you. Sit your ass down and let me finish.”
sexy underwear is expensive. puns are free.
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