Gojou Satoru X You - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
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Sleep
TW: angst, mental health issues
I know this isnāt the latest story you guys thought I would be posting but I know a lot of people are going through a hard time right now and so am I, I thought why not make something out of this feeling yk?
not proofread, I did all of this in about 30 minutes or so
Y/N POV
Sleep. Why do we need it? Is it the constant state of tiredness? An escape from reality? Who knows, all I know is I canāt seem to fall asleep
Throughout the days I get more exhausted, my smile starts to wear thin, and my eyes feel like theyāre ablaze. I just want to stay coupled up in my room
But I canāt. Every day itās another curse and everyday we kill it, itās like a cycle on repeat day in and day out
āYou look tired,ā Gojo spoke as we were walking in silence beforehand. I just look to him, my eye bags giving it away, āhave you been getting enough sleep?ā
āIām fine, I just didnāt get much sleep last night. Iāll go to bed early tonightā I lied through my teeth. Iām helpless, nothing feels how it should, nothing is how it should be. We continue to walk in silence back to jujustu high
Once I get back to my room I change and just lay on my bed. Why am I like this? I was just fine a couple days ago, so why now? I had so many unanswered questions
I kept up on my training as to not alert anyone of any implications that Iām not doing alright. I remember when Suguru Geto was still here, we used to be close. I remember what it was like to fight beside him, how we used to have fun along with Gojo but itās in the past now. Now my future is full with cursed spirits
I dream of a place in my mind where I could go. I could just go and never have to worry about anything. I would have my best friends beside me and there would be no cursed spirits, everything would be perfect. It was a dream for a reason
I havenāt been able to bring myself to eat much, only what I need to stay alive. Iām in darkness and I donāt think anyone could pull me out, itās too late. I curled in on myself under my blanket, sniffling for reasons unknown to me. Sometimes everything we do as sorcerers gets too much, itās starting to get too much for me and it was too much for Suguru Geto. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I started to sob loudly under my covers
I heard the door open but I didnāt care, I had finally broke the tall standing wall I had put up. The person rushed to my side and lifted the blanket. Gojo stood there with a worried face
āY/n! Are you ok?ā His question just made me sob more. I couldnāt control myself at this point
āIs there something you need?! Something I can do?! Please! Tell me!ā He doesnāt know what to do, I myself donāt know what to do. I just lay there a sobbing mess as one of my best friends stares at me with worry etched across his face
Suddenly another pair of footsteps sounds in the room. I canāt move, I canāt see who it is
āJust leave! Please! I donāt want you to see me like this!ā I shouted in my head only for it not to reach my lips
āY/n are you alright?ā I recognized the voice as shoko. She tried to touch my shoulder but I shook it off. I wanted to scream, scream until my lungs give out, scream until I canāt breathe, scream until my best friend is back. My pillow was soaked with tears
Gojo hesitated as he moved closer to the bed. He lifted the covers and climbed in the bed with me while Shoko gave him a confused look. He moved closer to me until we were only a couple inches apart. He listened to me sob into my pillow, quieting my screams. If I could only see the hurt look on his face, I wouldāve been broken for good. He suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me to his chest. One of his arms stays on my back as the other strokes my hair softly
āLet it all out.ā Was all he said. I sobbed into his chest, my screams breaking both of their hearts as it is mine. Gojo let silent tears fall down his cheeks as he couldnāt help it, he already lost one best friend and he wasnāt ready to lose another
Shoko stared in concern at the scene in front of her not knowing what to do so she did what she could and sat on the bed next to us. She gently laid her hand on my back and rubbed soothing circles. Both of the physical sentiments seem to help calm me down, soon I was reduced to silent tears and hiccup breaths as I felt my exhaustion consume me
Gojo was panicking on the inside as he held his sleeping tear-stained best friend in his arms. He didnāt want to lose another friend, heād already lost one and he wasnāt ready to let go of another. He held onto me as tightly as he could without hurting me. His tears still stream down his face quietly as he worries what my future could look like, a sorcerer? A curse user? ā¦.Geto? He quickly ran the idea out of his mind
I fell asleep in the embrace of two of my best friends and I realized something. I may miss old memories, old friends but my most loved ones are right here with me. I canāt have time pass me by while Iām still stuck in the past, yes it takes time to heal and it canāt be done overnight but it has to be done or itāll consume meļæ¼
I avoided sleep for the longest time hoping I wouldnāt see his face. I always wondered how he felt in his final weeks before he turned to the other side until I realized, this is how he felt. He felt alone, he felt hatred, he felt sorrow. I donāt think thereās even a word for everything he felt. I felt horrible knowing one of the people I cared about most was suffering in silence for so long and we couldnāt notice
I felt grateful, grateful that I have friends who see me hurting and what Iām going through. Who donāt know how to help but they help anyways, thatās the kind of friends I donāt want to push away. Iām happy to know that Iām not alone through all of this and that if I need someone theyāre always there
Gojo begged like his life depended on it and for some reason he thought it did
āplease baby. You canāt do this to meā he even took off his blindfold so you could see the fake tears welling up in his eyes. You merely scoffed āSatoru, give it up. Your begging isnāt gonna workā but he was persistent. If he had to throw a tantrum, he would ānooo, you canāt! I beg you. One chance. Just give me one more chance. I promise Iāll be good babyā his head hung low as he pleaded with his hands clasped in front of him. You could hear the fake sniffles and it was ridiculous that such a man could be crying over something so small
āSatoru itās only 48 dollars for the rent. Youāre not broke. Pay upā you held your hand out and he looked at you. Sulking, like how dare you upgrade your property so fast āyouāre the worst person to play monopoly withā you didnāt feel bad as he handed you the colored bills āat least you wonāt have to worry bout going broke in real lifeā you said, tryna make him feel a lil better but he was petty āwith how much Iām spoiling you, I might have to- ow!ā He covered the part of his head you just smacked āNo oneās asking you to spend your money so carelessly on me Satoru! Now stop sulking and roll the diceā