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𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, chapter 3

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ! 3.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ! so much drama, mention of underage drinking, angst, pretty much nothing else

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As the sun set, you and Serena walked alongside one another. The New York air was cold, you certainly didn't miss the unrelenting weather of New York. Serena's arm looped into yours as you walked, enjoying each other's company.

"Look, don't take what Blair said to heart. She's just hurt that you left without saying anything." You began as you looked up at the taller blonde.

She looked like she was debating something in her head before she spoke up. "I know, I'm not worried. I'm talking to her tonight and hopefully it'll be the end of this whole Blair thing. I just want everything to be back the way it was."

"Me too. But it will be, I'm sure Blair will find a way to look past this whole thing." You reassured Serena as you two walked the streets, your face cold to the touch because of the temperature.

"So, what's going on with you and your family?" Serena questioned as she changed the focus back to you.

You took a moment to gather your thoughts, the weight of Serena's question settling heavily. "Well, where do I even begin?" you muttered, a wry smile playing at the corners of your lips.

"It's... complicated," you began, choosing your words carefully. "My dad just told me this morning that him and his wife are having a new baby."

"Oh, wow." Serena's eyes widen in shock as she stared down at me. "How long have they even been married?"

"Like, a year." You chuckled, looking up at the blonde's empathetic gaze. "It's been tough to watch it happen. I missed you, a lot. It hurt me too that... you just left without a word."

Serena's gaze softened as she heard your words. You were always the understanding one but it looked like this time, she really did hurt you. "It wasn't because of you or Blair." She began, her expression gulity as she continued to speak. "I had to escape, Y/N. My parents, Blair, just New York. It was beginning to weigh on me. And now I'm back and I have to..." She paused as she looked back at me.

"What? It's okay, you can tell me." You spoke softly as she sighed. She was debating whether or not telling you was the best idea before she realized that it was just you, maybe the most trustworthy person she knows - or maybe in the whole Upper East-Side.

Serena exhaled before she continued. "Eric... He attempted."

She didn't have to continue or give you more context for you to understand. Your jaw slightly slacked as she spoke. Eric? The sweetest boy ever and her little brother?

"I still don't even know why." Serena began as she scoffed. "I feel like a shitty sister. I didn't even know he was feeling like this, Y/N. And when I found out, it was... too late. I didn't see the signs, or maybe I just didn't want to."

You couldn't even imagine the guilt Serena felt as she spoke. "I'm so sorry, Serena," you murmured, your heart aching for your friend as she shared her pain with you.

Serena let out a shaky breath, her gaze meeting yours as she silently conveyed her gratitude. "I just... I needed to get away, to clear my head," she continued, her voice barely above a whisper. "But now, being back here, it's like everything's come rushing back. And I don't know how to handle it."

"I know how you feel." You responded, a faint smile on your face as Serena stopped before pulling you into a tight, unexpected hug. You hugged for a few more moments before Serena began to pull away, sniffling.

"You have no idea how relieving it is to hear you say that, Y/N/N. At least I have you on my side, right?" Her voice broke slightly as her lips curved into a sad smile.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you returned Serena's embrace, the weight of her words sinking deep into your heart. "Always, Serena," you whispered, your voice choked with tears. "You'll always have me."

Serena nodded, a glimmer of hope flickering in her blue eyes as she wiped away a stray tear. "Thank you, Y/N," she whispered, her voice filled with gratitude.

"No need to thank me," you replied, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "That's what friends are for."

──౨ৎ──

Music played through a speaker as you curled your hair in the middle of Blair's huge room. You two were getting ready for the Kiss on the Lips party and you weren't gonna lie, you were excited. One thing you definitely missed were the Manhattan parties, they were always so fun and entertaining, something you were craving right about now.

And you needed a distraction from the impending drama of your family, of course.

The up-beat music filled the spacious room, adding to the excitement in the air ss you curled your hair. You stole glances at Blair, who was applying her makeup in front of the vanity.

"You excited for tonight?" Blair asked, her gaze meeting yours through the mirror.

"Yeah, I missed these parties. Parisians definitely don't party like we do." You smirked as Blair laughed. "And you're looking extra stunning tonight, Blair," you commented, admiring her reflection in the mirror.

Blair flashed you a grateful smile, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Thanks, Y/N. You're not looking too bad yourself," she replied, her tone teasing as she turned to give you a playful wink.

You began trying to tie your hair back but kept failing. An annoyed scoff left your mouth before Blair turned her attention back to you, getting up from her vanity to come and join you. "Need help?"

You looked up at your best friend, a smile enveloping on your lips as you nodded. "Yes, please." You let out a laugh as she joined you, grabbing your hair and beginning to tie it up.

"So you're telling me you spent six months in Paris and still don't know how to put your hair in a good half-up half-down style?" Blair teased as you laughed again.

Blair's playful banter eased the tension that had been building within you, and you couldn't help but chuckle at her teasing remark.

"Hey, I was too busy soaking up the culture to worry about perfecting my hair tying skills," you retorted, a grin spreading across your face as Blair arranged your hair into a effortless half-up half-down style.

When you two were kids, Serena, Blair and you had something you were very good at. For Serena, it was her fashion sense and for Blair, it was her amazing hair skills. And for you, it was makeup. So when you would all get ready, Blair would always help you with your hair and Serena would help you with your outfit, and in return you would help them with their makeup, that's the way it's always been.

Well, except now.

Blair smirked, her fingers deftly weaving your locks into a half-up half-down style. "Well, lucky for you, you've got me to help you out," she replied with a wink, her confidence evident.

"Is Nate coming with us in the limo?" You asked, trying to act nonchalant as Blair helped you with your hair.

She paused before continuing. "Yeah, he is. And speaking of Nate, um... I actually needed to talk to you about something."

Your heart began racing as Blair finished your hair, moving to take a seat next to you. "You kissed Nate."

Your heart dropped as Blair spoke, feeling instantly guilty. "Blair, I promise that I was-"

"Drunk and confused, I know. Nate told me, don't worry." She had a smile on her lips as she continued to gaze back at you. As you observed her expression more, she didn't seem angry at all. "It doesn't matter because you both were drunk. And you're my real best friend."

"Blair, I promise you that it was just a peck. And it was no feelings whatsoever." You couldn't stop the lies from leaving your mouth as Blair nodded.

"Nate told me," she repeated. "Listen, you've been there for me since we were kids. And you didn't leave me like Serena did. Plus, I know you and I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. So let tonight mark the day we just leave all this drama in the past?"

You were surprised at Blair's maturity and the genuine forgiveness she extended toward you.. Despite the guilt gnawing at you, her words brought a sense of relief, knowing that she trusted you enough to let go of the incident with Nate.

"Yeah, of course," you replied, a sense of gratitude washing over you. "Thank you, Blair. I really appreciate it."

"Nate is your best friend, too. I don't want you to feel like you need to cut him out of your life, okay?" Blair's voice softened as she turned back to face you, her eyes filled with genuine concern.

"It's not that easy, Blair. And plus, I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." You tried to make up an excuse but Blair's gaze was unrelenting as she shook her head.

"One kiss won't ruin a whole friendship." She scoffed as she silented you quickly. "Don't think of it as for Nate, do it for me. He needs you, Y/N."

He needs you, that echoed in your mind for a few seconds as you tried to think of a way to respond. She was right; Nate had been there for you through thick and thin, just as you had been for him. But the memory of that kiss, however brief and inconsequential it seemed, still gnawed at you.

"I know you're looking out for both of us, Blair," you finally replied, meeting her gaze with sincerity. "And I appreciate that. I'll try to... be there for Nate, for you."

Blair's expression softened, a hint of relief flickering in her eyes. "Thank you, Y/N. That means a lot to me."

"And one more thing." Blair spoke as she got up, beginning to walk to her vanity. "Serena is not to be trusted. You're the only real person I know right now and... I just want to tell you because you're far too forgiving to be friends with a person like Serena. She doesn't want what's best for you."

You felt a knot form in your stomach as Blair's words sank in. Serena had always been a source of comfort for you and Blair. You thought that Serena had fixed this whole mess earlier. Blair's warning cast a shadow of doubt over your perception of her.

"What do you mean?" you asked, your voice tinged with concern as you followed Blair to her vanity, unable to shake off the feeling of unease. "Blair, she's our best friend. You can't just cut her out-"

"She's not our best friend anymore. Just trust me, okay?" Blair turned to face you, her expression angry as she met your gaze. "And I don't want to see you get hurt."

You nodded slowly, absorbing Blair's warning with a mix of concern and uncertainty.

"But let's just focus on tonight, alright?" She began applying lip gloss as you watched her.

You were suddenly regretting coming back to the train-wreck that is the Upper-East Side drama.

──౨ৎ──

You all stepped out of the limo, the music from the party pulsating through the night air, adding to the excitement coursing through your veins. The Kiss on the Lips party was in full swing, the sound of laughter and chatter filling the air as you made your way towards the entrance.

As you stepped onto the sidewalk, you couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement coursing through you, mingled with a touch of anxiousness because of the conversation you'd had with Blair, roughly an hour ago.

Blair linked her arm with yours, a reassuring gesture as she flashed you a confident smile. "Ready to have some fun?"

You returned her smile with a nod, determined to put aside any lingering doubts or worries for the night. "Absolutely. Let's make it a night to remember."

But before you two could walk away, Blair's eyes lingered to behind you as she rose her eyebrows. "Actually, you have someone you need to talk to."

You turned your head and your eyes fell on Nate. You rolled your eyes as you turned back at Blair. "Not now, Blair. I just want to get drunk and-"

"Now, Y/N." She gave you a strict look and before you could protest, she called over Nate. You silently cursed her as he came over to the two of you. You didn't know why she was so persistent on you making up with Nate.

Blair's insistence left you feeling slightly annoyed, but you knew there was no arguing with her when she had that determined look in her eyes. With a sigh, you turned your attention to Nate as he approached, his expression a mix of uncertainty and anticipation.

"Hey, guys." Nate greeted you, a nervous smile playing on his lips. His eyes shifted to Blair as she gave him a nod.

You sighed inwardly, getting yourself ready to the inevitable conversation. "Hey, Nate. What's up?"

Blair glanced between the two of you, a hint of satisfaction in her expression before she excused herself, disappearing into the crowd with Kati and Isabel.

"I, uh... wanted to talk to you," Nate began, his gaze shifting between you and the ground. "Let's go somewhere more quiet."

"Sure," you replied, following Nate's lead as he guided you to a quieter corner of the room, away from everyone else.

Nate took a deep breath, his expression serious yet tinged with uncertainty. "Look, Y/N, I know things have been weird between us since... you know."

"Yeah," you replied softly, the memory of that drunken kiss still fresh in your mind despite your efforts to push it aside.

"I still meant what I said." Nate spoke softly and before you could protest, he continued. "I meant that I really do love you. I still do. But this morning, you were right. You are Blair's best friend and I can't pit you two against each other."

Your heart skipped a beat at Nate's confession, his words stirring a mix of emotions within you. You struggled to find the right response, caught between the weight of his words and the loyalty you felt towards Blair.

"But none of this matters without you, Y/N. When you left, I've never felt more alone." Nate let out a sigh as he gazed at you, almost adoringly. "I had no one to go to. Chuck doesn't understand like you do and it was the longest and worst six months of my life. I don't ever wanna lose you again, and if that means pushing aside my obvious feelings for you... then so be it."

"Nate, I..." You faltered, the words catching in your throat as you searched for the right response. His sincerity was palpable, his eyes pleading with you to understand the depth of his feelings. "I don't know what to say."

"I don't need you to." Nate offered you a small smile, his gaze unwavering as he reached out to gently grasp your hand. "I didn't know how to say it before. But I needed you to know, Y/N. You mean everything to me."

The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, a flood of conflicting emotions washing over you. You knew the implications of his confession, the potential fallout it could have on with everyone. But in that moment, all you could focus on was the connection between you and Nate, the bond that had endured through the years.

"I missed you too, Nate," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "And I don't want to lose you either."

Nate's grin widened, a sense of relief washing over his features as he squeezed your hand in return. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

You slowly pulled your hand out of his grip as you sighed. "Then we need to just stay friends, okay?"

Nate's smile mirrored yours, a sense of relief evident in his expression. "Agreed," he said, extending a hand towards you. "Friends?"

"Friends," you affirmed, clasping his hand firmly in yours. "Now let's put everything in the past and get absolutely shit-faced tonight."

Nate chuckled, a genuine laugh escaping his lips as he nodded in agreement. "Sounds like a plan."

The venue was crowded as you and Nate walked back in. Decorative lights adorned the walls, casting a colorful glow throughout the room and adding to the atmosphere. You quickly found Blair again and she pulled you closer to her.

"Did you guys talk it out?" Blair inquired, her voice barely audible over the music as she gave you a small smile.

You nodded, a sense of relief flooding through you as you glanced at Nate standing beside you. "Yeah, we did. Everything's sorted now."

Blair's smile widened at your response, a hint of satisfaction gleaming in her eyes. "Great! Kati, go get us some drinks," she instructed, turning to her friend with a commanding tone. Kati, always eager to please Blair, nodded and quickly disappeared into the crowd, her figure weaving effortlessly through the crowd.

After a few drinks, you and Blair danced as Lady Gaga played through the speakers. You threw your head back as you moved your body, unaware of the eyes watching you and Blair as you let go of all the worries. With each sway of your hips and toss of your hair, you felt the weight of the world lifting off your shoulders.

You laughed, watching Blair dance so freely. In that moment, as you laughed and danced alongside Blair, you felt a sense of pure joy wash over you. Nothing else mattered but the music, the laughter and the excitement of being with your closest friend after so long.

But of course this was Manhattan, that kind of excitement could only last so long without an interruption. Blair's gaze moved behind you and as you turned, you saw Serena walking through the crowd with a familiar looking man.

"What's Serena doing here?" Blair's bitter voice was heard over the music as she made her way over there. Nate scoffed as he followed her, pulling her arm to stop.

"Are you really gonna kick her out of the party?" Nate looked down at his girlfriend, annoyance evident on his face.

Blair scoffed as she met his gaze with a tinge of hurt. "Did you invite her?"

You stood in between them, confusion clear in your expression. What did you miss? You knew that Blair was mad at Serena, but what the hell did it have to do with Serena? "Guys, what the hell happened?"

Nate and Blair shared a look before she pulled her arm out of Nate's grip. His gaze seemed like pleading and hers seemed nothing short of livid. "What you missed was Nate sleeping with Serena at the Shepherd wedding."

Your heart dropped as you looked back at Nate. And with that, Blair walked away from the two of you, attempting to go find Serena. He did what?

Nate sleeping with Serena? It felt like a betrayal, not just to Blair, but to you as well. How could he do something like that, especially knowing the history between Blair and Serena, and the close bond you all shared?

You scoffed, giving Nate no room to speak. Pushing past Nate and the crowd, desperate to escape the suffocating atmosphere of the party. You needed time to process everything, to figure out where to go from here. But one thing was for sure: things would never be the same again.

As you ran out of the venue, you could hear Nate trailing close behind you.

Ignoring Nate's calls behind you, you quickened your pace, the weight of betrayal heavy on your shoulders. The cold night air hit you as you burst out of the venue, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you tried to make sense of the chaos inside your mind.

"Nate, just leave me alone," you called out, not bothering to turn back as you continued down the street, your heart pounding in your chest.

But Nate didn't give up, his footsteps echoing behind you as he caught up. "Y/N, please, just let me explain," he pleaded, his voice laced with desperation.

He finally grabbed your arm, making you stop as you whirled around to face him, your eyes flashing with anger and hurt. "Explain what, Nate? How could you do that?" You scoffed before continuing. "You slept with my best friend the same night you told me you loved me. How could you do that? And I'm not even gonna talk about Blair, cause I'm sure you already know."

"I was hurt, Y/N. I-I told you I loved you and you just ignored me, like it's some meaningless word." Nate's voice cracked with emotion as he spoke, his eyes pleading for understanding.

"But I was hurting too. I felt like you didn't care about me the way I cared about you, and I let that cloud my judgment. I made a terrible mistake, one that I regret every single day since it happened."

His words cut through your anger, stirring up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within you. You wanted to be angry, to lash out at him for betraying so many people with one action. But you also couldn't ignore the pain in his voice, the genuine remorse in his eyes.

You sighed as you looked down at the floor. You pulled your arm out of his grasp, your gaze softening as you looked at him. "I need time, Nate. I don't think we can... we can just go back to how it was now."

Nate's expression fell, disappointment evident in his eyes as he took a step back, nodding in understanding. "I get it," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing alone on the sidewalk, lost in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. As you watched him disappear into the night, you couldn't help but wonder if forgiveness was possible after such a betrayal.