Halsin's Character Dev - Tumblr Posts

You sound like you could use a hug.

I am once again screaming inside because at his core Halsin is a deeply PLAYFUL person!

His playful, sarcastic "I AM?!" when you say he's big for an elf! He has banters where he teasingly roasts Shadowheart AND Gale at different times! He teases that you might be a lunatic for freeing a bear without knowing if it would attack you, he indulges the Drow twins by changing into a bear and letting the player ride him around, he loves bear puns (or really animal jokes in general), the way he flexes his muscles if the player mentions him moving things three grown men couldn't...

He wants to PLAY!!! The reason he's so serious for most of the story isn't because he's just the "sage wise archdruid" but because all the trauma he's faced FORCED him to be. Given the slightest bit of a chance to be himself (like traveling with a camp full of weirdos), he instantly shows his playful side, and it only comes out more in his epilogue.

He just wants to play!!

Halsin listens to whatever the fantasy equivalent of dad rock is

HALSIN + details

I know a lot of people think Halsin whittles a duck for the player simply because he likes them or for the metaphor of 'coming home', but I honestly think he's a sentimental creature and it goes deeper than that.

your very first conversation as friends, you have to push quite hard to learn what he likes. I think a century of being Archdruid meant people didn't actually care about who he was as a person, only that he could fix their problems.

So when the player makes an effort to get to know him - a genuine effort and not allowing halsin to give a polite dismissal- it's novel for him! And you've endeared yourself to him greatly with that one conversation.

So when he has the chance to make a gift for you, he chooses something out of the most romanticized memory in his mind.

The simple conversation where you got him to speak of whittling and ducks

A simple conversation for you, but one that meant the world to him

I chose you for a reason, and have never looked back.

(read this post for my thoughts on this dialogue)

[I didn't expect such naivety in an Archdruid of your vintage.]

Thoughts on Halsin's Elvin features:

Specifically on how he doesn't look like a typical elf, and how that impacts him mentally.

Iirc, by elven standards he's not considered attractive. And if it weren't for his ears it'd be easy to mistake him for a human. If one looks close enough, his elven features (as seen here and here) are clearly visible- but most people don't bother to look closer.

I imagine he has a lot of complicated feelings surrounding his looks. He knows he is considered attractive by many, but not by his own people('s beauty standards). If it weren't for him being an "oddity" he would have been killed by the Drow. But also- if it weren't for this "oddity", would they have even noticed him and captured him?

He is a gentle man who feels deeply. But his large stature generally makes people want to fight him, or it makes them fear him. Being large also makes people assume his "feelings cannot be harmed." He himself says he trusts people too easily, and I think part of why he does so is because he knows how deeply it hurts to be mistrusted based on ones appearance.

He doesn't seem to like to draw attention to himself, but his large size is a glaring neon sign that causes people to pay attention to him- even in a crowd. Because of his size people automatically look to him for answers, they defer to him because of his stature. He takes charge because of his innate sense of responsibility, but he doesn't like to be the (sole) leader.

He is generally the largest person around. It others him no matter where he goes. Is it any wonder that he never feels at home anywhere?

It isn't until he has cartloads of orphan children, who like him are othered without anywhere to anchor their roots to, that he finally feels settled. In Reithwin no less, the land connected to childhood friend. (I intend to expand upon this idea, but in another post- this one is long enough as it is. Also it's diverges from the main topic. I'll link it here when I post it.)

The most tragic thing to me - aside from the obvious - about Halsin's initial entrapment in the Underdark is that he was cut off from the sun. Fully and wholly. For three years. Cut off from his beloved natural world, dulled and dark, likely with nothing very real to touch, for three years.

And this tragedy lies adjacent with Halsin's continuing connection with light. Several pieces of Halsin's (and co's) dialogue point towards how important the sun and light is to him. The entire situation with the Shadow Curse and how he clings to every mention of light and warmth - he himself refers to his being as the Oakfather's vessel of light. Halsin deeming the sight of the sun as something that should be a right to all. Then Orin, as Halsin, twists that and equates the sun as a privilege that is to be earned, but then pointedly tells the player to escape and run until they see the sun again, just as Halsin in confidence told them how he ran and didn't stop until he reached the surface into that same sun all those years ago.

To be cut off from the sun for such an extended period of time, reacquaint with it, only to be plunged back into a depth even darker? Tragic.

The BG3 topic I'm crying over tonight is how when you walk around the Grove and talk to everyone there, they're all like, "Oh, you need the Archdruid Halsin, a healer of much repute; such a shame he's not here, very inconvenient" or "Yeah, the druids wouldn't throw us out into the wilderness to be eaten by goblins if the Archdruid Halsin were here to protect us, but he's not," or "The Grove is in a political and logistical shambles right now because the Archdruid Halsin isn't here to lead us," and most of them also express, on top of any frustration and inconvenience to themselves, some kind of concern or fear for him, or even anger at the group who left him behind (go off, Zevlor, I'll punch that dude for you every time), but it's only Ormn

"He's never coming back, is he? Master's never coming back..." 😭😭😭

who actually seems sad about it. And not just sad. Heartbroken. Grieving.

Even in an absence that looks increasingly permanent and probably fatal, there's only one person I can think of in the Grove who openly talks about loving and mourning Halsin as a friend, and that person is a bear.

Halsin when Mizora says Wylls pact will be broken in 6 months: eh that's not that long 🤷‍♀️

Halsin when he hasn't seen you in six months: these past six months have seemed ENDLESS without you

In all seriousness, it genuinely just breaks me that Halsin doesn't really perceive or feel time because he's a very long-lived race. 6 months passes by in a blink for him. Until he makes friends and falls in love, of course.

It's just got me thinking about the loneliness of trauma and how responsibilities, taking care of others, being laser-focused on a goal he might never meet, has probably passed his time faster than he would have liked.

Being in survival mode for so long I have to wonder how much time Halsin spends just decompressing after the events of the game. It's also made me think that maybe the first act he's so distant because it's the first time in a century he has hope and doesn't have the grove to worry about, the poor man is just Processing everything.

Anyway I'm just having feelings about this. Idk if this is anything.

Touching on Gale, Wyll, and Halsin's traumas being a bit undermined in parts of the fandom

So one thing I notice on Twitter is how some people act about the bg3 characters whose abuses were perpetuated by women.

Gale specifically for this reason (but I will touch on others)bbecause I see him dismissed super often as "can't get over his ex".

But Gale's case obviously be has the line of Mystra being like "she was my muse, my teacher, and then my lover" and sure to some that's a red flag in itself (when it comes to adults I don't really give a fuck about teacher/student) but if you view it from not only Gale's own words "ive been connected with the weave for as long as i can remember"

And that doesn't distract from his genuine love of magic of course. And it also doesn't mean that he's actually been in connection with mystra for an amount of time.

However, if you ascend Gale, and he becomes a god, you get a bunch of new little things. Tara reminiscing of course, but you get a letter from Elminster, detailing that Mystra had Elminster scope out Gale when he was eight!

And sure is that pretty cool that he's a prodigy that got the attention of the goddess of magic at that age? Yes. Mystra is, however, known in forgotten Realms lore to seek young young boys who are in tune with magic to make into her chosen. And from context clues, her chosen can be anything from Elminster and Volo, dedicated wizards who try to keep things in check, etc etc. or they're somewhat of playthings to her.

Minsc also has a conversation where me mentions that weave-touched boys in his homeland were hidden away to hone their craft, then suspecting that it was because of Mystra, given Gale's case.

Gale always seems so proud that he got to bed a goddess, and on the surface, hell yeah, that's cool.

Gale continued to have her attention even as he went to Blackstaff Academy, and Mystra eventually did take him on as an apprentice directly to her, later making him her chosen, and sleeping with him.

The reason it bothers me that people dismiss all of Gale's stuff to just "he can't get over his ex" is because that's is like almost textbook grooming? She was in his life from a young age, shaping and moulding him up as he grew up to be her perfect chosen, rewarding him by sleeping with him, and so on. And then of course casting him away when he has his folly with the netherese orb (and to be fair, it very well could have looked like to her that he was trying to seize the power himself and yes the orb does siphon off weave. That is a problem for the mistress of the weave yes).

But she also tells gale to KILL HIMSELF for her forgiveness.

Gale is much more than "unable to be over his ex" this woman was in his life since he was a kid. She's almost all he has ever known. If course it's going to be difficult for him to 1. Say no to her. 2. Get over the fact that he's lost someone that he spent his literal entire life dedicated to. Honestly if asked, I don't even think Gale would acknowledge or really see that what he went through was, in fact, abuse until it was spelled out in front of him. (Which does happen somewhat with the player character pleading to him that killing himself for mystra's forgiveness is actually horrific and that he should in fact be angry for how he was treated)

Similarly, and this one has been discussed a lot, Wyll and Mizora. Wyll was 17 and actively trying to help his people. 17, in a vulnerable state, willing to do anything to help and prove himself. Mizora very clearly took advantage of him, and regards him as a "pet", refers to him being "leashed", and so on. Personally, I do dislike the sexualization of their relationship, because it very much is also grooming (although a different type. Rather than manipulating and shaping his life from the ground up, she takes advantage of a vulnerable and desperate state to manipulate and contract Wyll into doing her bidding. I won't go too deep I to this one because it has been discussed to hell and back. But I did wanna touch on Wyll's situation as well.

Also, Halsin as well, though that has also been discussed in many retrospectives by a very good friend of mine. Halsin's trauma often get dismissed due to his polyamory, open sexual nature, and his own somewhat diminishing/dismissal of it, which honestly I love the representation of, cause for a while I did that with my own trauma. Halsin was a sex slave to a house of Lolth-Sworn drow, a matriarchal society, where the men are generally used as fodder or for breeding, though male Lolth-Sworn drow can be wizards and rise in the ranks if wizardry, but are limited everywhere else. (Minthara mentions that the third male, and every subsequent male child after third are killed for being"useless"). Halsin often referred to them as "hosts" rather than being captors, (though he does touch on that if the Player Character threatens to sell him back into slavery). Again, everything I'd have to say here for Halsin has entirely been discussed top to bottom by a friend, their link is below!!

Anyway, long story short, I dislike it a lot when Gale, Wyll, and Halsin's traumas and abuses get diminished, even if/when the character themself doesn't see or acknowledge the abuse in the same lens that we, the players, do.

What they say: I'm fine

What they mean: Halsin Silverbough is in love with you in every possible story branch as long as you don't raid the Grove!!! Even if he stays in the Shadow-Cursed Lands he sends you a letter saying his memories of traveling with you and the hope of seeing you again are getting him through the dark lands and his search for a way to end the curse. In this same letter, he compares you to sunlight, something he's repeatedly used as a metaphor for life's ability to flourish- it's something that brings him comfort beyond words, and he puts you on that same level in the letter. In the new platonic path he admits his admiration for you and other feelings combined to make him care for you. The hugs he gives you in the epilogue, if there, are full of tenderness and there's a longing look on his face when you get ready to pull apart. He all but begs you to come to the commune, not just so the children can hear you tell your story, but so he can see you too. He loves you, always, no matter what!!! DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THIS? Do you ever think about the fact that no matter who you romance and what choices you make, you have unconditional love and admiration from Halsin???

the "each bg3 character is a subversion of their usual class traits except halsin" is one of my favorite discussions but i think halsin is also a subversion he is just harder to pick out

when he kills he feels it is out of necessity and doesnt regret it even though life is lost vs. traditional druid who feels All Life is Sacred

part of druid group and was selected as the leader but is actually too much of a free soul and doesnt actually want to stay there vs. the reclusive druid who must be convinced to trek the world

halsin being a notorious bedbreaking harlot vs. the sexless-druid who is detached from intercourse/interpersonal sexual relationships

built like he got 10 meals a day vs. the tight-bodied lithe druid

I love his character, I feel like he is a druid who worships nature by experiencing it to the fullest. Which is why he doesnt take issue with things like sex and killing. It also contextualizes why he was chosen as the leader of the druid camp but wasnt happy in the position. Halsin doesnt want to be an overseer of nature, he wants to be a participant who walks and grows and fucks as much as he can

I'm sorry but it's so fucking funny to me that a large portion of the fandom (in my experience) has Halsin being this extremely patient, kind, loving soul (which he totally can be!) and yet THIS is but ONE in-game chatter dialogue he has-

I... Halsin is fucking savage y'all. And I love it.

I'm so used to when you use a companion to speak to another companion at camp it automatically switching to the player that I wasn't expecting this (think it's supposed to be triggered in act 2)

In Sharess Carress there's a nymph that will ask for a companion's deepest desire (e.g. Gale can answer with wisdom, Wyll freedom, etc). Currently Halsin, along with Minthy and Jaheira, have no character specific response to this. What answer do you think Halsin would give?

(Video for reference: https://youtu.be/Y6Gu_WL8V0M)

I was just playing that part the other day and wondering myself.

I think that Halsin's answer would be wanted. Not sexually. But wanted as:

A member of the team

A partner

A community member

A friend

An elder

Because think about it. He lost his family. He lost most of his fellow Druids, and when he became a leader, he lost his friendship with most of the rest, and many began to resent him for his failings as a leader. He then had to abandon the Grove entirely to give it the chance to recover with Francesca's help, though of course this wasn't entirely altruistic since he also did it to help the Shadow-cursed Lands. He admits he struggles with not having a sense of purpose without the Shadow Curse, and when discussing what comes next, one dialogue option leads to him saying he asks nothing of the player but to be allowed to stay at their side. He says many things that indicate this time, traveling with the party, was among the happiest of his life, particularly in the epilogue. But in that same epilogue, he shows he doesn't think the player truly wants to stay with him, and before that, his response to various things indicate he doesn't dare believe his friendship with the team is meant to last, as important as it is to him; if the player says, on the docks, that they part ways there, he laments that it was "always destined to be so if [they] prevailed". And of course there's his dialogue to a romanced player where he is STUNNED they want to come with him to the commune.

So. What would Halsin want to hear more than anything? That he is wanted, cared for, cherished, that he doesn't need to do anything more than he already is. That THIS will last, that he will not be alone anymore, that people aren't just using him as a stepping stone to something better. He is wanted, for him, not for what he can do for others. He is wanted.

The Curious Case of Halsin and Astarion's Ascension

For anyone who's occasionally poked around my stuff, you probably know that I found my Evil run of Baldur's Gate 3 (by which I mean my selfish run where I tried to gain as much power, wealth, and companion trust as I could) to be my most satisfying thus far. Part of that was the unique experience of having Halsin ask to join Tav and Astarion's relationship post-Ascension.

At the time, I said yes because it made sense for my character to "collect" an Archdruid. Out of character, I was tickled by the idea that Halsin confessed after Astarion became the new biggest bad in the land. Halsin was supposed to be a Good guy. Surely, either a possessive Astarion would be spitting mad about the arrangement, or Halsin would have second thoughts about Mr. Vampire Ascendent once he got a taste. I was ready for the drama.

It never came. In fact, the glimpses of their dynamic were so comfortable and playful that I was shocked.

Since then I've been doing a lot of thinking about Halsin and why he might act how he does throughout the Ascension storyline. I realize most of this can be handwaved with 'fanservicey romance writing.' That's true for parts of all romance paths, honestly, and I don't consider it a wholly bad thing given the game's goal to make you its center. However, I think being dismissive of the writing is not as much fun as building headcanons that work with any set of behaviors or lines you get.

So enjoy some theories pulled from datamined dialogue and my personal games. As always, this is completely hypothetical - I encourage everyone to write 'canon' in their personal playthroughs however they prefer.

Note: it's impossible to get all these lines in a single run due to some hinging on Astarion leaving and some may be bugged or near impossible to trigger. They're just being used to explore a character and dynamic that I don't see much of around fan spaces.

Halsin on the value of lives

To briefly set the stage, it's important to understand how Halsin views life and justice. He spells it out rather clearly if Kagha kills Arabella and her parents are also dead.

Halsin doesn't consider himself to be an arbiter of good and evil, only a steward of nature and its Balance. He highly values life. However, it's not him, the leader of the Grove, who is ultimately responsible for deciding Kagha's fate; it's the wronged parties or, barring that, nature itself who should decide her true punishment.

Halsin: As for the idol? It's nothing compared to a life. A mere object, next to one of nature's creations. I cannot absolve you, even if you are repentant. The girl's parents should have decided your fate, but they perished. Instead, nature will judge you. You are banished from this place - banished from everywhere the Oak Father's creations thrive.

But valuing the sanctity of life doesn't mean he doesn't also understand the importance of sacrifice. For example, if Wyll chooses his freedom over his father, Halsin counsels that it's a necessity to sacrifice to grow at times, no matter how unpleasant.

Halsin: You made a hard choice, Wyll. But not one that is unknown in nature. At times, a seedling must strangle the very tree that bore it, if it is to survive.

The price of 7000

So, Halsin's not a big fan of sacrificing life, yet understands that sometimes, people need to die for others to thrive.

But what about 7000 lives? A whole village worth?

That level of sacrifice sounds an awful lot like the day his life was destroyed by Ketheric and the Shadow Curse. A horrible event that haunted his every thought and deed for the next 100 years.

Within this context, it makes sense that all of his responses during the Ascension, whether Astarion does it or not, are focused on the price being paid. He usually emphasizes the sheer number of people affected and never discusses Astarion's potential evil (more on that later) or the undead nature of those lives.

Halsin: Stay your hand, Astarion. To sacrifice so many is a tyrant's ambition.

Halsin: All those lives snuffed out, just to grasp some power. That was craven - unnatural.

Halsin: Astarion resisted the allure of Cazador's would-be powers - and I am glad of it. Whatever he would have gained would have come at a great price.

The interesting part about this is, as an Archdruid of Silvanus, those undead lives should be considered an abomination. The Oath of Ancients oath break if you free the spawn reminds us of this. So Halsin's advice to save the spawn is not necessarily druidic advice - it is a personal opinion wrapped in flimsy druidic justifications.

He even recognizes undead as unnatural when you enter Cazador's home:

Halsin: A lair of undeath - most unnatural. We must tread carefully.

Yet about the spawn, who are undead and an intimate part of that unnaturalness, he says this about releasing them:

Halsin: Good - they deserve a chance at life. Nature will handle their fates from here.

Mercy for all monsters?

This is interesting to compare to another encounter with a smaller version of an eerily similar choice in Act III. The mindflayer in the Windmill - a person turned into a monster, much like a spawn. Allow it to live, and it may devour a family. In that case, Halsin says:

Halsin: We allowed this unnatural thing to live - now a whole family's worth of blood is on our hands.

He joins a host of other Good companions who curse themselves for showing mercy where it wasn't warranted. These are largely the same companions who would also save the spawn.

Karlach: This is our fault. These people died because of us. What were we thinking?

Wyll: Justice does not entail granting mercy to monsters. We should not have let this abomination go free.

Gale: A cruel conclusion to the mercy we showed, but hardly an unpredictable one. As long as it lives, so will its appetite.

The contradictory perspective taken during these two storylines shows the importance of emotional context in how we make decisions. For most, their traveling companion, who also has a tadpole, is the first vampire spawn they've ever met, while mindflayers have generally been the big evil this entire time. This could lead them to feel as though a horde of spawn may have enough humanity to need a chance, while a newborn Mindflayer should be exterminated on sight. Also, most of the other Good companions are relatively young and idealistic, so it makes sense that some may make foolhardy, heroic decisions.

But this encounter also begs the question: if these heroes are so distraught by having the blood of one family on their hands due to a single hungry mindflayer they saved, how could they justify letting 7000 starving monsters with unquenchable bloodlust free? Are they simply kind-hearted and short-sighted? Or maybe they're only optimistic about the hunger of vampire spawn, despite having personal examples of both a spawn and a mindflayer who manage their hunger equally ethically - by feeding on enemies and criminals.

Their naivety is driven home by Jaheira not being moved by the mindflayer or the spawn due to her extensive life experience. She believes in both cases that the greater mercy is to kill the creatures now.

(About the spawn) Jaheira: And what of the living they'll feast on, should they not prove as admirable as Astarion? They deserve a chance, too.

(About mindflayer) Jaheira: Look well. Our stupidity. Our price to pay.

Halsin is even older. He's a devout druid. He recognizes undead as unnatural. By all accounts, he should be on the same page as Jaheira to preserve the Balance. Yet in the face of that, he still advises to give the spawn a chance to live free, likely wreaking havoc wherever they need to feed.

I like to think this strange blind spot in his doctrine is due to a combination of Astarion's presence humanizing the unknown spawn, therefore making their unlives worthy of protection, and his own history as a genocide survivor creating an emotional reaction strong enough to override his usual wisdom. The price of a village is simply too devastating and personal for him to condone. No matter what letting 7000 ravenous undead free may mean.

Making the price worth it

Once you've ascended Astarion, you may be surprised that Halsin - generally a good man - is now steadfastly on Astarion's side. His reactions to the Gur conflict highlight this. If you side with Astarion against them, he's not happy, but resolute.

Halsin: An unfortunate battle... but I must stand by those I count as allies.

And if you decide Astarion is evil now and side with the Gur, Halsin doesn't seem to care about what Astarion has become, only that you allowed the sacrifice to happen and then let it go to waste:

Halsin: We allowed Astarion to sacrifice so many, only to just turn on him soon after? We should have stopped him sooner.

In contrast, many other companions call Ascended Astarion a monster, evil, or maniacal if you turn on him. They believe killing him at that point was the only right answer.

Karlach: It's done. It had to be done. Astarion was... out of control. Gods dammit. Look, he was an evil leech, but he was ours. I thought he'd changed. I was wrong. I always am these days.

Minsc: Do not mourn Astarion. The Gur are known to be a just and righteous people among the Rashemaar. They named Astarion monster, and so monster he was. Yes, Boo - even if he sometimes seemed a friend.

Gale: That's one scourge eliminated. A vampire with that much power would be a death sentence for this city. A pity Astarion didn't understand that. Or rather, didn't care.

Lae'zel: Astarion proved himself no less maniacal than his master. His death was a favour - to him, to us, and to the city.

Wyll: Hunt the monsters of the Sword Coast, protect the people - that was my promise. Killing Astarion was the right thing to do. I have to believe that. But I'm not proud of it. Not after... all this.

Ignoring Astarion's evil and telling you that you shouldn't have betrayed him may seem odd for a character who usually has a strong moral compass. Especially since Halsin doesn't tell you that you shouldn't have betrayed Shadowheart if you choose that path, though he's wary of that decision since you're handing her over to Sharrans. However, if Halsin's focus is on the 7000 lives and not on Astarion's personal kindness or cruelty, it makes more sense.

The people are gone. There is no taking back all those lost. So he's left with the need to make their sacrifice something other than a meaningless slaughter. The power for his companion must be worth it.

Halsin on Evil Astarion

You may be thinking, "Okay, but even if it's all about the mass sacrifice mimicking his own horrific past, shouldn't he still care about Astarion being Evil? He doesn't like evil acts at all!"

That's mostly true. Halsin certainly hates Shar for personal reasons and can get upset when you do cruel things. However, he's also potentially had a bit of a soft spot for Astarion since Act I, when you can decide the vampire spawn is evil and kill him or kick him out of camp.

His lines for this are actually shared with Karlach, Wyll, and Jaheira, according to the data. The uniqueness is primarily in his distraught line delivery.

If you kill Astarion, Halsin admits that he liked the guy even though he was a killer:

Halsin: Rest in peace, Astarion. You may have been a blood-thirsty murderer, but I liked you all the same.

And if you send him away, Halsin says this about Astarion being alone in the woods:

Halsin: He's someone else's problem now, anyway. Woods are full of boars. Maybe he'll learn his lesson and start hunting something that won't miss him when he goes.

His camp reactions immediately after Ascension mirror this attitude of concern rather than condemnation of evil. If Halsin speaks directly to Astarion, he sounds exasperated (the way Halsin says his name always makes me snicker) while Halsin once again brings up the idea of the price being paid.

Halsin: Astarion... you have ascended amongst the ranks of the undead. I can only hope that you do not come to regret the price that you paid.

However, the almost identical line if he's talking to another player character is delivered differently, particularly in how he says Astarion's name. It's more concerned than judgmental, implying that his frustration with Astarion is coming from a place of worry rather than pure anger.

Halsin: Astarion... he has ascended amongst the ranks of the undead. I can only hope that he does not come to regret the price that he paid.

This is particularly notable because it's in contrast to Shadowheart, who has a very similar line after her evil choice, but the emotion behind both sounds more similar to my ear.

After that initial comment, Halsin can banter with Ascended Astarion about how he's turned the player into a vampire spawn if there's a player romance. Unlike most of the other companions who can comment, such as Wyll and Gale, he expresses worry for both of them, not just the player. He also explicitly explains he has no intention of kink-shaming them, just warns about how dangerous having a master/thrall relationship can be if made real.

Halsin: To give oneself wholly, and to have a lover totally in your thrall...? A harmless game, until it becomes real. I worry for the two of you, Astarion. For your sake, I hope some of it is just a fantasy, deep in your heart.

But perhaps the most blatantly accepting we see him of Ascended Astarion is if they go to the Drow twins together. There are always some playful lines with one another if they're both present, but one is unique to Ascension if the player bites Halsin as a spawn during the scene. Halsin's response is light and delighted, acknowledging Astarion's role as not just a vampire, but the lead in your new relationship.

Halsin: Ha - tickles. See what a bad influence you are, Astarion?

Combine with Halsin's direct propositioning of Astarion if Astarion teases him about his night with the player, and there's a case for long-held attraction as well, regardless of alignment.

Astarion: I hear things got wild between you two. I hope no one was too badly mauled. Halsin: We're all in one piece. Perhaps you'll join us next time. Astarion: It's bad enough having one person with fangs trying to keep control of themselves. Two of us could be dangerous.

All these lines, taken together during times when others label Astarion a monster, suggest that Halsin accepts Astarion as a whole. He doesn't believe in trying to change people's nature, so maybe he sees any distasteful deeds as part of Astarion's, the same as an owlbear cub eating its mother might disgust some though it is completely natural.

It makes sense, then, that Halsin might be proud of Astarion for choosing morality or personal growth, but he isn't too bothered if that doesn't happen either. What line Astarion would have to cross to earn Halsin's true ire is unknown. The reverse is a much more complicated question (mostly because it's plausible that many of Astarion's lines are rooted in deception) that I may delve into another time.

Is this whole relationship a little ironic given that Halsin is The Selfless Good Druid and Astarion is The Selfish Evil Undead? Absolutely. But that's the fun of it, in my opinion. It adds depth to these characters in ways that rarely shine through during a singular playthrough, especially since very few will do the crazy thing I did with an Ascended Astarion + Halsin romance.

It sure makes for narrative fun, though.

Thinking today about Halsin’s ending, and the reasons why I don’t find it to be an uncomplicatedly happy one.

There are two primary needs I think the ending is attempting to fulfil for him: the first is his need to feel like he’s doing something to help people, and specifically children, and his related desire for a family. The second is his need for a community that isn’t like the community at the Grove, a community where he can be himself without all the leadership and hierarchy that the Grove entailed. I think the fulfilment of both these needs is complicated by the fact that despite his longing for, and idealistic outlook towards, family and community, he actually has quite an individualistic mindset.

Now, I know that in the epilogue party, if you haven’t gone with him and he tells you about his community, he makes it sound like everything’s perfect and harmonious, ‘a true home for all’, ‘nature and civilisation are in harmony’, etc. Problem with that is that I don’t believe him. Or to be more precise, even if it’s like that now, I don’t think it’s going to be all that easy to maintain into the future, particularly since the community seems like a fairly large one (and he says it’s growing).

I don’t think anyone’s going to argue with me that Halsin’s sense of personal responsibility is very strong, or that he has a tendency to take too much on himself. I find it really significant that the creation of his community is such a clear expression of his natural instinct to go it alone, to take all the responsibility on his own shoulders. Even though he clearly finds like-minded adults to join him, the initial plan is one he comes up with by himself and he doesn’t share it with you, his by-now closest confidante and friend/lover, until it’s already a fait accompli. And, of course, his default assumption is that you’re not going to come with him. This of course has a lot to say about his sense of responsibility and how difficult he finds it to believe he’s worthy of love and commitment; it’s not that I don’t understand it. But I can’t help but think it’s a bad start for building the kind of community that isn’t dependent on him.

His tendency – which I would argue is a fundamentally individualistic one – to feel like he has to take primary responsibility for the problems he’s trying to solve, to frame actions as ‘something I must to do to make things right’ instead of ‘something the community is doing to solve a shared problem’, is going to have negative effects, I think, on both of the primary needs his ending is fulfilling.

Take the first need, to help children, to create a family. He clearly sees the ‘nine wagonloads of children’ as his family, and himself as their father. It’s not clear to me the extent to which he sees the other adults in the community as parental figures also; presumably they are to some extent (nine wagonloads!), but I do think he thinks of himself as the primary if not the only parent. He worries about leaving the children for a single night. That’s understandable, sure, but it also says to me that he’s taking a lot of the work of caring for the children’s emotional needs on himself, and sees himself as fundamental to their emotional wellbeing. He’s not acting like one adult in a collective who has a special and close bond with the children, but who is working in partnership with other adults who are equally close to and trustworthy with the children. He’s acting like a primary parent leaving his children with babysitters for the night.

And that, in my opinion, is not good. You cannot be an adequate parent to that many children (nine. wagonloads!) on your own. There is a limit to the amount of emotional support and individual time and attention that one parent can provide. He needs to rely on his community to provide emotional support and attention and just basic parenting to the children. He needs to see this as a joint, collective, community effort that doesn’t look like a nuclear family with way more children than usual; one that operates fundamentally differently to the way a traditional family would. And I worry that he’s not doing any of that, and that it’s not healthy for either him or the children.

Then looking at the second need, to create a community that isn’t dependent on him as a leader or, for that matter, on any kind of formal leadership structure or social hierarchy. One that isn’t subject to the power dynamics and politicking that the Grove was. The problem there is that I think it’s going to be way too easy for him to end up repeating his mistakes instead of rectifying them.

Building communities is hard. Building communities that are based on a non-hierarchical structure is even harder. Obviously this community isn’t based on a formal hierarchy like the Grove was, but power struggles and politicking have a tendency to creep in no matter what you do: they’re so ingrained in human nature.

Ultimately, in order to create the kind of community that I think is a real counterpoint to the Grove, a community that isn’t dependent on a leader, that’s based on shared values of caring for each other rather than a hierarchy, in which its members work alongside each other and make decisions jointly, you have to do the work to make it work like that. And that work is fundamentally systemic. You can’t just found the community on a well-meaning desire to rebuild Reithwin and care for orphans and refugees and then hope it all works out. You have to have both the self-awareness and the systemic understanding to spot the ways in which the community is falling into old patterns or bad habits and, much harder, find ways to break out of those patterns and habits. And that takes hard and constant effort.

As much as I love Halsin, I don’t think he’s a systemic thinker. As I said, I think he tends to approach problems as  ‘what do I need to do to make this right’, not ‘what does the community need in order to function better as a community’. I think that starting off his commune by himself, based on his own idea of what’s needed, poses a strong risk that the resulting community will be founded on Halsin and Halsin’s dream rather than on an equal collective with a shared set of values, and that despite his best efforts, it will end up being all on his shoulders again in a way that doesn’t look exactly like the Grove, but which repeats some of the patterns that he was trying to escape.

And now I have come to the end of my argument I realise that I don’t have a feel-good way of ending it. Uh. Someone maybe want to write a fanfiction about the dynamic between Halsin and a systems-thinker Tav who keeps having to yell at him for accidentally being his own worst enemy?