Happy Squid Life Awaits You - Tumblr Posts

In fact Emperor broke me. I have. Confession to make - I’ve always considered myself somewhat xenophobic. Not in a real world way, but in a way that I’m not into monsters of any kind at all. I’m horribly, painfully squeamish. Even mermaids don’t feel entirely right for me because I immediately think of their tails and that they smell of fish, and… well, my neurospicy brain creates unpleasant sensory triggers in stories of rockets I don’t expect it too. I’m not into werewolves / they scare me. Not into shapeshifters. Even Garrus in ME was too alien for me to consider more than a friend. (And he can’t be romanced in a m/m way anyway)

But. Buuuut. The Emperor l’s story and romance was a hell of a ride for me. I was literally going through some deep emotional transformation. Sometimes I would just go pacing around the room with a heart beat racing sing and muttering - omg I can’t I just can’t. I can’t even look at him, but his voice, and what he says and his personality gets me so hooked that I can’t even romance other companions.

And mind you, I’m demisexual and very monotropic. If someone got me emotionally hooked - others just don’t work for me. Like at all.

I stopped the game and had to breathe. I didn’t want to become even a half mind flayer at first because I really cherished my characters looks and all. But eventually I accepted.

Step by step, dialogue by dialogue my perception of him changed. From “oh, God I can’t look at him without needing to surprise disgust” to “well, I can look at him especially when I hear him speak” to “how didn’t I notice that there’s beauty and elegance and power to him? Something truly regal in fact?”

It’s so funny to document it now looking at in in a progression.

I literally went through an emotional transformation because of a game character. And I couldn’t romance anyone else in all my play throughs just because no one says things like he does. No romance arc just feels appealing.

Heh. I’m weird I guess.