He Deserves Only Love And Support - Tumblr Posts

saw a bunch of aot spoilers (none here) on tik tok and was sobbing so it inspired me to write this. canon inspired events (eren’s mom is murdered) but modern day timeline.

you knew something was bugging him. besides the fact that he’d been in a terrible mood all month, it finally clicked to you what time it was.

it’d been so long since he’s been without her. how could he have lived so long after losing her at just nine years old? he never appreciated her the way he knew he should have; it eats at him every day of the year. he just wish he could hug her and get a kiss from her one more time before he knew he had to say goodbye.

it’d been nearly the hundredth night you found him like this, hunched over his study desk with his head in his hands; hazel hair so carelessly tied behind his ear. you knew he’d been crying. he’d been doing it for months now.

how could he explain that he missed her? and any more than he already had? his sadness was rubbing off on emiko. she’d been begging to meet grandma on daddy’s side since she learned to talk. but how could he ever tell her that grandma didn’t even get to see him transform into a man?

the lack of a mother took a toll on him. it was by grace that he even knew how to respect women, thanks to mikasa before he met you. but it was several qualities that eren lacked that you knew was because of his mother being unable to be in his life.

he often didn’t know how to be vulnerable with his romantic partners. he didn’t know how to express himself with anything but anger; the same one he’s been carrying around since nine years old. he was a father and already felt like the worst one because he didn’t know what a mother’s love felt like. not like you did.

you wanted to smother him in your love. let him know that though you couldn’t ever understand his pain, he always had a home with you. that anytime he felt himself crawling into the same dark hole he did periodically every year, to come to you so he wouldn’t be alone. you’d done it since kids.

emiko was so much like eren. when he’d noticed that the second she’d get mad she’d aggressively throw her toys—he immediately corrected her. he didn’t want her to turn out like him; angry at the world. he wanted to end the cycle. but he didn’t understand that his little girl could feel so much more of him than he thought. emiko was only four, but she wasn’t dumb. she was a genius just like her father.

if eren was having a bad day—so was his daughter.

he thought he’d done a better job at hiding his ever-going depression. he’d remove you from his grasp at night and head to his study room to just think about his mom and cry. he’d excuse himself from the table around this time every year that emiko naturally started picking up her father’s downed spirit.

“mommy, is daddy okay? he seems really sad. and it’s making me sad too.”

he couldn’t help but hear his little girl’s voice fill with worry as she tried to go after him, but you pulled her back, knowing he only needed space. he wanted so bad to turn around and tell her that everything was okay; that he was okay, but he couldn’t. he was just so tired.

you’d only met him when you were eleven, having just moved to paradis. by then he was already a dick, not knowing how to deal with the loss of the only person who truly cared for him in his life.

with a sigh, you’d run your hand against her brown skin and sigh, truly worried for your boyfriend. “no, he’s not so happy face right now, emmy. daddy just needs some space for tonight, m’kay? we have to respect that.”

“he’s not mad at me?”

you frown down at emiko who’s still frowning at the hallway herself. she wanted to make sure her dad was okay so bad. her tiny little brain couldn’t comprehend if her father was upset at her for some reason, but you reassured her that would never be the case.

“never, emiko. daddy just misses his mama right now. kinda like how you miss me at school.”

“and granny’s in heaven?” emiko finally turned to look up at you, her bright green eyes she inherited from her father illuminating up at you. you fight a tear from slipping from your eyes as you nod your head.

today was her birthday.

and here you were, standing at the threshold of the door like many nights for the past ten years. eren’s back was shaking noticeably as he tried to hold in his cried from echoing throughout the house. but by then, you were already at his side, cradling him into your warm arms.

when you guide him to sit up, he stuffs his head in between your breasts and cry into it like he did every time around this year. his long arms wrap around your body as he squeezes you for dear life, almost as if his own depended on it. he was one inconvenience away from making his problem, the world’s.

your manicured fingers immediately find home to pull his hair from the bun and smooth it out against his shoulder. “i’m here baby. i’m here.”

the truth was, he never stopped being nine that night.