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A Night for Hunting Ch.10 -What Makes a Meal?

T/W: Alucard (Ultimate) x F!Reader, sexually suggestive content, but also some fluff. Romance, Riocard, shapeshifting. Smitten human with a crush. Seductive vampire troll, ‘dating.’ Comedy but not really? (things are amusing for Alucard at least).  Words: 5026 On AO3 @alastorhazbin

Thank you all for the birthday wishes! 

This chapter ended up longer than anticipated. Guess I was having fun too! I think it’s needed before the plot gets a bit more serious later.

I received a new shipment of orchids to add to my modest collection and I’ve been obsessed, if you can’t tell with my plant references.

Please read the note at the end of this chapter.

Alucard insisted on taking your number before you left for vacation with your closest friends. It was only a short trip away from home, but it was what you could manage. You ended up travelling to Scotland and visiting all the attractions of interest to your group, including Edinburgh Castle and the Isle of Skye. The landscape at the Isles was truly the stuff of legends. The soft light of late winter painted the sky deep pinks and purples during sunrise, the dusting of frost atop mountains were glittering diamonds in the morning sun before it melted into a shimmery dew, a series of picturesque waterfalls cascaded into the crystal clear Fairy Pools. It was a land of magic and enchantment more suited for a world of fantasy than reality. You almost wished Alucard was there so you could show him the beauty of the land and those spectacular sunrises. You captured countless photos to preserve the memory.

During a hike, your group’s passage disrupted a colony of hibernating bats, sending them fluttering in a noisy, chittering swarm. You scuttered away with your friends, yet you grinned even while squawking as everyone else did. These bats, however, did not possess scarlet eyes. Neither did they want anything to do with roosting in your hands as another bat did. 

He was at the back of your mind the entire time. Ever since you accepted your attraction to your immortal suitor, you thought of him frequently in increasingly fond terms. He was absolutely charming. It was frightening how quickly he came to occupy your conscious faculties. You hoped he’d appreciate the small gift you were bringing back to him. 

The vampire phoned at night on several occasions. Unfortunately, he did not allow you to elude him with only texting, stating that it was no proper way of communication. Once again, you were pleasantly surprised by the conversation with him. He was the most attentive audience as you excitedly recounted the adventures of the day, then he agreed with your hotel roommate as she teased you about ‘your boyfriend’ in the background of your calls. Curse his vampire hearing. You trembled at the deep voice on the other end. Between them, they had you tumbling into a flustered puddle of stutters and you terminated the call, telling him to let you be and that he was being an idiot.

You fell back on the mattress and pulled the sheets over your head so your friend wouldn’t see the stupid grin on your face. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered again as you recalled the smile you heard in Alucard’s voice during the call. --------------------

At last you were home in England. Considering the circumstances on how you met, the eagerness with which you wanted to see Alucard might be astonishing. His dastardly ways were mostly unchanged, yet his hunting of you for sport was long ago. Your current relationship was decidedly warm. 

There was no way you could treat him to a fancy restaurant, so you invited him over for dinner. It seemed like an excellent choice of activity until Alucard expressed his excitement about the prospects of you feeding him, only for you to repeatedly remind him he was not drinking from you again.

Sweet, I have arrived.

You fumbled with the lid to the pot before catching yourself and safely setting it down. You rushed to the entrance with a huge smile and pulled it open, only to stop dead in your tracks.

Huh?

Your smile dropped at the bizarre sight. It was undoubtedly Alucard on the other side of the door. You would never mistake those fiery eyes, the immense stature, and arrogant demeanour for anyone else. Yet he was different. His thick tresses revealed his hairline and fell straight past his rear. He wore a tailored black suit that fit him to perfection and a conceited smirk that matched the enthralling sunset gaze. There was something about his appearance that made him feel more unsettling and dangerous than usual.

You knew the vampire was a shapeshifter, yet you edged backwards when faced with the unfamiliar. His eyes glittered with mirth at your hesitation and his fingertips landed on your cheek with a delicate touch.

“Surely you have not forgotten me in a mere week, Dear?” He jested, rattling you out of your stupor.

As if that was possible. You shut your mouth. Yup, this was certainly Alucard. “I –I could never.” You meekly stepped aside to let in your guest and stared at him as he strode in like he owned your home.

“This is a gift for you,” he pronounced, setting a basket of yellowish, fragrant orchids in your hands. “It is known as ‘The Lady of the Night.’ It suits you.” It was a living arrangement of the whole plant, not just the cut flowers, and you shook your head at the vampire’s double meanings with a sigh. 

“Thank you. They are lovely.” You accepted the gift graciously and took a quick whiff of the citrusy fragrance that was to die for. The door shut and locked behind the vampire.

Alucard was in excellent spirits. He scented your excitement from behind the door and in truth, he was equally eager to see you. It smelled divine, the aromas of home-cooking and your nervousness mingled to tantalize his senses. He took in the sight of you standing awkwardly beside him, wondering if you were supposed to offer to take his coat, and grinned fiendishly. How adorable without even knowing it.

“Sweet, you should know the physical form I assume is meaningless. I may appear as whatever I desire.” 

His handsome countenance suddenly melted into whispering shadows. You gasped as his snakelike tongue lolled before he warped into a bipedal horned monster leaking darkness. His body stretched and broke open to reveal smooth bone, before sinewy muscle fibres formed over skeletal limbs and were encased in fresh skin. Those overly long, disproportionate fingers dripped of the night and you held your breath. You weren’t sure if you were afraid, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the grotesquely fascinating transformation. 

The monster dropped onto all fours, the horns elongating into antlers and with a series of crunches, the beast moulded itself into a giant elk that took up all of your living space. The metamorphosis was disturbing, but Alucard remained the most majestic creature, even as the elk sprouted eyes along its snout and down its hide. It stared into you for the longest moment and you didn’t look away, then it shrank into a dog, though the extra eyes remained.

And suddenly he became your Alucard again. 

The jagged shadows lashed about before flowing back and forming his familiar face, the darkness rippling around him with a crimson glow. It seemed the magic show was over and you were both silent. You finally released your bated breath. Instead of feeling terrified by the gnarly sight of Alucard remaking himself as if he was liquid, you giggled, then laughed out loud in wonder. You approached him to caress his hands, inspecting the digits that were reformed without any sign they were any longer mere moments ago. You stroked his cheeks, then went to the top of his head. No remnants of horns either.

Alucard’s brow lifted at your reaction. You were…excited by the prospect of having your own petting zoo? Yet he was not affronted by your debasement of his abilities as a Nosferatu. He made you laugh again and he basked in the sound. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ears, his smile matched your own toothy grin that showed your canines peeking through, so tiny compared to his fangs. 

You kept giggling, tucking a strand of imaginary hair away, unconsciously mirroring his actions and your eyes glittered as you lunged to embrace him. Such an unexpected and gratifying response you welcomed him with. His expression softened.

“Welcome back, little one,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around your waist.

Your lips parted and then closed. And opened again. You buried your face in his chest. “I missed you too, you jerk,” you mumbled, burrowing deeper when you felt the vibrations of his laughter. “I have something for you too, from Scotland.” Holding out something furry with both hands, you presented to your vampire a little stuffed toy bat. 

His brows raised before the orange pools spun and the light caught their golden flecks. He took the bat and studied it with a toothy grin, flicking a fond glance at you before tucking it away in his duster. “Delightful.”

You beamed bashfully and pulled apart. “Come on in, vampire, dinner is ready.”

You led your guest inside and seated him at the table. The seats were set and everything was just about cooked. All that was left to do was to plate the dishes and pour the drinks. You excused yourself briefly to use the bathroom.

Alucard settled into his seat while you used the facilities, listening to the sounds of your bodily functions, enjoying everything that made you human. Everything that was a normal life. His eyes opened as you returned and finished your preparations, materializing beside you to assist with preparing the beverages and floating the entrees over, making you shake your head in glee at his ‘magic tricks.’

He tugged at a chair to slide it across the floor with a hushed whisper, then tucked you back into the table once you were seated. “Dig in!” You proudly announced, quickly layering your bowl with an assortment of goods. 

As you tore into the deer, you peeked up at him in confusion. He made no moves to serve himself. You almost snorted. He may be your guest, but was he so insufferable he was expecting you to serve him like he was a king?

“You aren’t eating? Go ahead.” You pushed a dish at him and dabbed at the escaped sauce from your lips, not missing the way those predatory eyes followed the movement. 

“I will eat,” the vampire replied cryptically.

“You should while it’s hot. It’s venison stew, perfect for this weather! It’ll warm even you up,” you snickered, plopping a sizable serving into his bowl.

He didn’t reply.

This was getting awkward. You tried to chew quietly as your head spun. Was this some archaic vampire ritual where he was supposed to allow you to finish eating before he began? Did you mess up the dish somehow? Perhaps he preferred his meats more undercooked, bloodier? You somehow doubted it was because he didn’t consume meat. There simply didn’t seem to be a hint of a vegetarian in Alucard.

“The meal is perfectly divine, little one.”

The reassurance didn't help. “Then why…” You trailed off. The vampire was enamoured by the process of you eating. You set down the spoon as you finished swallowing.

“Alucard, you’re getting creepy again. You were expected to eat too, you know, not just stare at me.”

He chuckled. "You still wish to feed me?" 

“That was why you were invited.”

“As you wish, little one, but you are not feeding me.” 

You fixed the flattest, blankest stare in his direction. The quietness was nearly deafening. You made him a feast that blanketed every inch of the table. What game was he playing at now?

Sunset eyes got brighter and that grin grew wide. 

“Oh hell no. You’re a grown ass man! I’m not spoon-feeding you like you’re a toddler!”

“That is the only way I will eat human food.” He licked his lips.

“Then don’t eat! See if I care!” You huffed in disbelief, shoving in another bite to chew angrily. All that time spent preparing this plethora of dishes to perfection for this uncivilized beast. More for you, whatever. There will be plentiful food for the week.

The minutes stretched as you ate in silence by yourself. Childishly, you sliced the already tender morsels with more force than necessary to make a point. Several times, your gaze flickered up to check what your infuriating guest was doing, whether he was bluffing or if he truly expected you to demean yourself. An uncanny stare scrutinized every aspect of the way you consumed your food and suddenly you couldn’t remember why you missed him.

Grinding your teeth, you at last threw your hands up in frustration. “You really are insufferable!” You scooped up a slice of deer and shoved it at Alucard’s annoying mug.

The vampire's grin split even wider with his victory and the meat slid into his mouth. He started purring. “Heavenly. Were I still living, I would have appointed you a chef in my castle.”

You rolled your eyes at his grandiose words of praise. Even if he was a Duke or a Count or anyone of enough importance to warrant living in a castle, his manners were clearly plebeian. His appreciation for your efforts would be more apparent if you didn’t need to basically beg him to eat it.

“Come here, sweet one.”

“I am here,” you deadpanned.

“Your obstinate struggles against my will, as entertaining as they are, will always be fruitless, little human. Come here.” He scooted back in his chair and placed a hand on his lap. 

The audacity! This was your home. 

You had half a mind to demand he leave, but what were you going to do? Try shoving him out the door? He’d just phase through and mock you, if he even let you move him. If sitting in an ancient vampire’s lap to feed him dinner was the only way to expedite the process, so be it. Begrudgingly, you grumbled and plodded over to drop onto one of his thighs, only for him to scoop up your legs and drape you sideways over his lap.

You pouted and glared at him to show your displeasure.

“You really are charming when irate,” he purred, sticking his nose to your throat to nuzzle it. He inhaled. “For the aromas.” He chuckled when you tensed. “I am ready to eat, Sweet.”

You leaned away while pushing at his jaw to create distance, feeling the twitch in the corner of an eye as you picked up the fork and lanced the first piece of deer from Alucard’s bowl before lifting it to his lips. They wouldn’t part.

Not like that. His voice appeared in your mind, immediately followed by an image of yourself holding the cut to his lips between your fingertips.

“You really are going too far.”

“Humour me and you will find your freedom sooner.”

Picking up a slice of stew meat, you shoved it at the beast as you blazed with fury. He accepted the offering instantly, cool lips closing around your fingers to suckle. You squeaked in horror and yanked your hand back while he swallowed what you gave him whole.

“What the hell?!”

He smacked his lips and leered at you through lidded eyes. “Next.”

Gulping down your apprehension, you raised the next piece to his mouth and looked aghast as that scandalous tongue made a reappearance. Alucard made a show of licking your hand, beginning at the palm with a tickle and wrapping around your sauce-coated fingers. He lapped slowly at your fingertips as his eyes flashed, before gingerly taking the deer between sharp teeth and sucking it back with a wet slurp.

The hair on your arms stood on end, making your skin tingle. Your eyes met and his hand tightened around your waist. The other stroked up your thigh and squeezed your hip. Something else like appendages rubbed your shoulders and feet and held you tighter to him. He crooned and licked your jaw before capturing your lips to nibble on. The lounging beast sighed happily as your eyes bulged and you squirmed with discomfort on his lap.

“For the added seasoning,” he murmured against your ear.

That was just rude! 

The vampire cackled and flicked at your bottom lip again, making you flinch. “There exists no seasoning superior to your own taste.”

Piece by piece, you fed the old vampire by hand while he held you hostage in his lap. Despite feeling thoroughly harassed, eventually you couldn’t help but feel slightly flattered about your culinary abilities that elicited a response like this. If he liked your food so much, you supposed you could just cook for him again but skip this degenerate’s feeding kink, although being perched on his lap was not too bad. Neither was his touch wholly unwelcome. 

You pet his cheek while he chewed, his expression the face of pleasure. Nuzzling into your palm with a moan, his eyes opened to slits when you brushed up one side to investigate the pointy earlobe. He kept purring as loud as an engine.

Your eyes focused on the dancing shadows that surrounded him. They floated and twirled and seemingly pulsed at times. So mesmerizing.

Your unoccupied hand dipped cautiously into the shadow tendrils flowing around Alucard. He shuddered and growled, so low it was nearly imperceptible. A single wisp wrapped around your hand and you held onto it. Making contact with it was the strangest experience. Alucard's shadows were just that –not really tangible, yet you were able to physically touch his darkness. It buzzed in your hand with arcane energy that rippled through your being and tickled your spirit. Finally, you let him go, unable to bear the sensation any longer, and dropped your head on his broad shoulder to rest.

The heat was probably too high in your apartment after so much cooking. Your shirt clung to musky armpits and you fidgeted on Alucard’s lap as the undead cat finished another bite. He inhaled deeply, heavy purrs rumbling through his chest and vibrating through you. What a pervert. Always too suggestive. Always too attractive.

You absentmindedly gave him another piece, nipping on your lips and staring everywhere except at him when he started licking again. Something hard slid against your finger, catching your attention. The goddamn vampire was dragging the side of a fang against your ring finger. You held your breath, but again, it wasn't fear you felt, only curiosity at where he was going with this when he plainly stated he had no intention of biting you.

You caught the wicked smirk and glint in his eyes, now a deeper shade than at the onset of the meal. Again with the teasing. The air was heavy, the aura of mystery and danger swirled. His hair was longer and the locks fluttered despite the lack of a breeze. The lights dimmed before coming back on, throwing contrasting shadows across the pale profile you enjoyed looking at so much.

This smug vampire knew he was magnificent.

Your body responded aptly. After being subjected to hearing and feeling him purr all night, as well as the sensation of having his hands on you all night, you fell victim to his allure… the devilish monstrosity was simply irresistible. It felt like you were sitting in a furnace when you lowered your gaze from his triumphant one.

There it was, the scent of arousal. Alucard inhaled loudly, nostrils flaring as he absorbed his victory, ensuring you knew he was fully aware of your state of restlessness. Human food may be disgusting, but the taste of your skin was sweet ambrosia. For it to be finally paired with this ravishing perfume? Alucard believed he would never have enough of this gourmet delicacy.

The vampire was rock hard. A stiff shaft prodded your rump, large enough to make an impression even through fine wool and the awkward positioning. Your wide eyes lifted slowly to meet his, your shock at odds with his amusement.

The hands returned, the touch now lewd compared to the gentle exploration earlier. A shadow hand massaged your breast, alternatively kneading the mound between its palm and fingers. He traced circles around the tip to create a pebble before he pinched it. Your guest took your lips, prodding insistently until you yielded to his demands. Cold muscle delved into your mouth and he growled as he slid around to conquer and explore. Something firm held the back of your head when you attempted to escape. Another hand. His hands were everywhere, stroking and grabbing until you writhed in his grasp.

Your musk got heavier as your underwear became saturated with fluid. Even you smelled it. Alucard keened and encouraged you to touch him. A strange energy embraced you, leaving you gasping and he smirked with satisfaction. 

Curiously, you rested a palm on his chest. He had no heartbeat. Your heart was pounding, but there was nothing beating in his, nothing to show that you weren’t the only one hot and bothered. A moment of trepidation flashed by and passed. Resting your forehead to his chin, you trailed down his torso to rest lightly on the front of his pants. It was held up with steel that strained the smooth material into an indecent tent. You cupped it width-wise, its girth taking up most of the curvature your hand created, and tentatively ran your palm down the length. Down and down and down your hand travelled, until the end ran under your leg and disappeared.

Sweet Jesus, how big was this monster?

He hissed in pleasure as he made another show of licking your fingers, sucking them into his maw one by one. The devil held you spellbound through glowing vermilion orbs. No…you searched within your consciousness…the ancient vampire wasn’t hypnotizing you. This was all you. The revelation was more frightening than anything.

You shivered.

“What say you? Shall we search for nirvana this fine evening for dessert?”

“E-excuse me?”

“As I proposed, I will mount y–”

“I know how the mechanics work!” You screamed, your face on fire as you suddenly found yourself free of your prison and you scrambled off of him in an uncoordinated tangle of limbs, tripping over yourself and landing on your rear by his feet.

Alucard threw his head back and roared raucously as he leaned back to watch you. Eyes opened on the ground and curled in laughter to join in. The extra extremities disappeared. As did your desire –in just these few seconds, your libido jumped off a cliff and died, to be replaced by total mortification.

Not knowing how to recover, you picked yourself up from the floor as the vampire shook his head and chuckled. Stomping down the hall, you turned and hollered, “Time for you to leave! I’m going to bed!” Nevermind the fact that you just ate. 

The door slammed behind you and you crumbled to the floor in a panting heap, the mind racing to process what happened. A vampire, you were about to lay with a marauding predator of the night. Sinfully beautiful, but a ruthless murderer nonetheless. You hugged your legs and tried to calm yourself.

It was futile. You too craved his presence.

“...”

You sat alone longer at the edge of a precipice, the distance providing some much-needed clarity, until you finally stood shakily with your fingertips lingering on the door knob, about to flip the switch when you stopped yourself. If you were to be honest with yourself, you didn’t detest this vampire anymore. You would not mind if he stayed the night. 

…The bedroom door was left unlocked.

-----------------------

You stirred, sticking out a leg and kicking over to the other side of the bed, the cotton sheets brushing softly against your naked skin. With an arching back, you stretched the entire length of your body, from the tips of your fingers to the bottoms of your feet, and yawned. The muscles in your legs cramped from being perched in one position last night. Your toes poked out from under the blanket.

“I bid you good morning, little human.”

You sat up abruptly and found the unblinking crimson set of eyes in the corner of the room. For a moment, fear shot up your spine, the terrifying recollection of being at the mercy of a red-eyed monster who wanted to rip into you on another occasion made your blood run cold. 

But there was no need for alarm this time. Your heart raced even as the fright dissipated.

There he was, sitting on the grey loveseat with his legs crossed and a frown marring his features, his fingers loosely intertwined. Shooting a panicked glance over to the window, you saw there was indeed light filtering around the edges of the curtains, illuminating the bedroom with the gentle rays of morning. But the sun! Why wasn’t he going off in flames? Did he just watch you sleep the entire night? 

“Why are you here?” You asked dumbly.

The frown turned upside down and the vampire cackled, two rows of jagged teeth gleaming like a bear trap. “You invited me in, little one.”

“But you stayed the night?”

“Watching you breathe,” he purred, “listening to your heart beat.”

Creepy, psychopathic behaviour, but then again, this was Alucard you were referring to. You held the sheets closer to your chest before remembering to check on your state of undress beneath. You were the same as how you went to bed, crotch still clammy from the devil’s seduction last night.

“I meant the sun. How are you alive? Shouldn’t you be a pile of ashes?” 

He smiled. “Your legends generally do not apply to a true vampire like myself.”

Indeed, Alucard actually looked fresh and well-composed, as if he didn’t spend the night sexually harassing a young woman and then ogled her as she slept. The fog in your mind slowly retreated. A true vampire… There was so much you didn’t know about the supernatural.

You rubbed your eyes and blinked at him. "So the sun doesn't hurt you?"

"No more than it harms you, though I may despise the day."

"Then how about garlic?"

He snorted.

"Crosses? Holy water?"

"Mere irritations."

"Silver?"

"Ah– that may cause injury." The vampire closed his eyes and snickered. "So curious about my existence, little one. You want me dead?" Hellfire bore through your soul.

Dead?

You froze, unsure of how to respond. Did you want him dead? Vampires were a menace to society, a scourge. Wouldn't the world be better off without demons like him wandering it? “You are already dead. But…I can’t say I want you gone for good anymore…”

Silence. The fire burned warmly in those molten pools. "You are such an intriguing creature," he murmured.

You shuffled in bed and propped up a pillow behind your back, being careful to keep the sheets draped over your chest, thoroughly conscious of your nakedness. A million questions bloomed in mind as you sat quietly across from this ancient creature a few paces away, who witnessed the eras come and go. Was it okay to ask now?

“So…how did you become a vampire?”

He sat back and tilted his chin up in thought before staring down his nose at you. “At the end of my human life, I chose vengeance and hate."

You perked up. To be or not to be. "So your sire gave you the option to become a vampire?" You recalled his reaction the last time you inquired about his sire. Hopefully vampirism wasn't a fate that was forced upon him.

Alucard didn't respond immediately. "I have no sire, little human."

You were mildly confused. That was how vampires were born though, wasn't it? Vampires created vampires, as they also gave rise to ghouls. Alucard himself told you so. It seemed the more you learned from him, the less you knew. There was always another secret.

You blurted it out, much more directly than the last time you broached this topic months ago. "...Do you ever regret it?"

He looked sad, wistful, and your heart churned for a demon. What was this feeling? His gaze dimmed, turning downcast as the frown returned.

"Cherish your humanity, child."

Not knowing what to say, you reached for him and he came to you immediately, kneeling by the side of the bed and resting his face in your hand. You ran your fingers through the silky hair you adored and the vampire sighed against your touch.

You pondered Alucard's words as you pet him. So many questions. "Then what about that vampire you shot? Is he like you? Are there other vampires like you who don't bite?"

Alucard tensed before smiling slightly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m not something so vulgar and cheap. And I do bite.” A hand shot up to grasp your wrist by his face.

You were undeterred. You put your other hand to his chest and once more noted the lack of comforting beats. His touch wasn’t gross like with the other vampire. In fact, physical contact with Alucard no longer made you feel the need to shower. His aura no longer urged you to run and hide, or face mortal peril. Actually, this was quite pleasant.

His face came within inches of yours and you felt his icy breath as he spoke.

“If you can kill me, I would gladly die by your hands.” He purred at you, pressing your hand hard into his chest, leaning heavily into your touch and lowering his head to rub noses.

To be or not to be. You snorted, “As if that’s even in the realm of possibilities.”

“Only a human can kill a monster.”

“You are not making any sense.” You’ve seen what he can do. He had superpowers while you were a normal mortal. Kill him? What a joke.

Alucard chuckled, “No, I suppose not.” A gloved finger bumped softly against the tip of your nose and he closed the gap between you. Luminescent irises whirled, his gaze affectionate. You stared back into the balmy gaze as you let your lips and foreheads touch in a tender meeting.

Minutes had passed when you pulled apart.

“Okay, you got your show. Time for you to leave.” You sighed, brushing a thumb against his cheek one last time before dragging your sheets with you to keep yourself modest as you rose from bed to pull open the curtains.

He was gone from your room when you turned back.

~To be Continued~

Chapter 11: Interlude I Chapter 12: The Feeling of Safety

Notes:  For those of you not familiar with Shakespeare’s work, Hamlet, “To be or not to be, that is the question” is probably the most well-known line from his play. This infamous soliloquy is referring to the decision “to live or not to live,” something Hamlet pondered as he discussed how painful living is and how death may be preferable, if it weren’t for the uncertainty of what came afterwards. Hamlet was suicidal. It is deeper when Alucard said it because he wasn’t merely referring to his ‘cowardly’ decision to turn (“to be a vampire”), but also how by choosing ‘to be,’ he ended up damning himself to an eternity of unlife instead. Alucard wants to die.

While I think Alucard wasn't constantly shagging everyone prior to meeting us, I headcanon that he is normally open to sexual relationships with humans should they be interested (and if they interest him). And if Alucard is sexually interested in someone, he will certainly at least try to seduce them. Alucard is extremely suggestive, very sensual, and the type to take a mile if you give him an inch. If you let him in your pants once, he'll be seeking opportunities to charm them off again. He knows he's attractive, good in bed, and that we’re hot for him. 

So now I feel like I kind of lied when I said "no smut" in this story's initial tags (hey it was supposed to be a oneshot), but I think I actually can't avoid some racy content if we're to get to the point where we want to give Alucard all of ourselves. This fic had mature themes from the beginning, so I believe most readers won’t have too much issue with more sexual content, but explicit smut scenes will be mostly in the interludes from this point on. It is now officially “eventual smut/NSFW." Things will be spicier here and there. The Interludes can be skipped and readers will (probably) not miss too much. Just FYI, they eventually do pretty much everything except fuck “all the way,” ie. P-in-V sex. BTW, next chapter is an interlude. It features period blood and is really not for everyone (but hey, our dear monster is a vampire), in which case I hope you’ll enjoy Ch.12 more!

Above: Brassavola nodosa, The Lady of the Night. Not my orchid, but one I eventually want to add to my collection. I wasn't aware of this, but apparently in some cultures, it represents the connection between the living and the dead. Only at night it is fragrant, releasing a smell that is described as citrusy or like gardenias.

A Night for Hunting Ch.11 -Interlude I

T/W: NSFW, 18+, Alucard (Ultimate) x F!Reader, slice of life, menstrual blood with related explicit sexual content, hungry vampire Words: 4124 On AO3

I actually do think Alucard would be interested in his Reader’s grooming routine. He’s lived a long time and modern cosmetics are very different from what he’s seen. Everything about her is interesting, even the mundane acts of daily living, because those are all things his corpse doesn’t need. Enjoy the light-hearted fluff for now…this is their bonding time. You aren’t imagining it. Her speech with him is sometimes more informal as she gets more comfortable around this harbinger of death.

I waited SO long to write some more funny business with Alucard. I hope you enjoy it. This chapter can be skipped if vampire-style period smut doesn’t interest you and I think you shouldn’t miss much plot-wise. 

Another flavour of body lotion was in the air. Or rather, “body butter,” as you called it, insisting a viscous moisturizer was more suitable for the dry spring air while the heat remained active. It smelled like lavender, unlike the last one which was definitively of cucumbers. Alucard decided this product was likewise agreeable with his senses. His only regret was that he arrived too late tonight to watch you apply it.

Alucard scented the air again. Ah, that was an even more enticing aroma. He inhaled deeply and rumbled softly in pleasure at your monthly, which hung heavily in the air, tantalizing and delicious.

It was fascinating how the human body required nourishment in every way, even the skin. He sat soundlessly in the loveseat and watched you go about your routine. You twisted a glossy bottle open. He smirked. The vampire remained invisible in the mirror, and you were all the more unaware and unsuspecting of his presence while you preened. He memorized the outline of your fingers and their circular motions as you smeared a creamy white gel across your face while carefully avoiding your eyes. 

He purred at your actions.

His human was startled. You whipped around with a short yelp and dropped the container, lurching backward in the process and banging into the nightstand. It never reached the floor. The vampire king scooped up the tiny jug midair and offered it back to you.

“I am equally pleased to see you, little one.” Alucard grinned.

You took in the imposing dark giant towering over you, his eyes vibrant and alive, and let out a laugh. 

“Alucard! You scared me! Don’t just show up behind me like that!” Your palm fell over your chest as you caught your breath. His gaze lingered on your hand and you plucked the ridiculous little bottle from his fingers. 

Even without your affirmation, the vampire felt your shock, the moment when fear of the unexpected intruder spiked and your hair stood on end, when adrenaline filled your veins and made your blood run cold. And when that pungent taste of fear was quickly replaced with excitement by his presence, which prompted a stirring in his loins.

“The candid can be riveting.” He tracked you as you turned your back to him and bustled around. How naively trusting, but it was part of your allure.

“Give me some time! You arrived so late, I thought you weren’t coming by tonight. Just started a face mask.”

Your guest stared at you with interest.

“This weather! It’s for hydration and to prevent fine lines.”

The vampire chuckled lightly, “Humans, your kind do everything to delay aging and to avoid your mortality.”

“I don’t want to hear that from a 500-year old immortal who gets to look the way you do.” You stuck your tongue out at him. “You know, one day I’ll be an old woman. Whatcha gonna do with me then?” You raised a brow.

"You meant to say you will grow even more beautiful day after day?" 

Your eyes bulged at his pretty words, but you didn't find insincerity. You flapped your lips to pull words from the ether. “Your silver-tongued flattery won’t get you anywhere,” you warned.

“I prefer there to be no silver in my tongue.”

You cackled, “No silver tongue piercings for you then, not even sterling?” You winked at him, a smile brightening your features more than any mask ever could.

The corner of the vampire’s lips lifted. “Absolutely not, unless you insist.” 

—--------------------

You came back to awareness with a jolt.

“I’m sorry, it’s hard to stay awake. I was going to go to bed soon when you arrived.” You yawned. Your face was radiant after rinsing off the mask and applying your final skincare products earlier. And then you fell asleep mid-conversation with your undead guest. Just slumped over in bed and lost consciousness. What a poor hostess you made.

Alucard lost the iconic hat, glasses, and coat while you were asleep. He gestured amiably with his palm up towards the bed you were sprawled across, as if to invite you to continue.

“…You’re just going to watch me?”

“This activity is rapidly becoming a favourite pastime.”

“That’s really creepy and you have shallow priorities.”

“A matter of perspective.” 

“Surely you must have better things to do?” It was difficult to see in the gloom, but you were reasonably sure he was smirking.

You sighed, “Suit yourself.” With your resignation, you crawled up your bed and tucked yourself into the sheets, shimmying out of your night clothes before shooting one last glance at the glowing crimson orbs and closing your eyes. “Goodnight Alucard,” you whispered.

Rest well, little one.

You smiled and turned around to face the other wall.

—--------------------

Falling asleep a second time proved impossible. Without the constant movement earlier in the night, the cramps finally caught up to you. A searing pain seized your lower abdomen and sent fire up your spine.

You screamed internally in agony and hunched over yourself. AHH, how you wanted to rip out your uterus yourself if it would spare you this suffering. You considered your options: you had no Tylenol. Ibuprofen? No, not on a now-empty stomach, as if the medication options ever provided lasting relief anyways. A heat pack?

It ripped through your core again and you tossed around to the other side of the bed, legs spasming out and toes curling. With a grimace, you took deep, ragged breaths and groaned.

The bed dipped and you jumped, which only worsened the pain. Your eyes watered. There must be a knife in your flesh. There could be no other explanation for the ache. 

A pleasant fog clouded your mind and the pressure suddenly alleviated. Opening bleary eyes, that massive shadow was still there, unmoving and deeper than black, staring at you with those red, red irises. You tried to focus on them.

All Alucard did was pluck at your consciousness to redirect your attention from your affliction to himself. With anyone else, he would certainly bask in their torment while laughing at their expense. With you though, he did not enjoy watching you writhe in anguish, especially from discomfort that was so easily banished.

“Would you like your suffering eased?”

You let out a feeble whine. “You can help me?” You didn’t even ask him how he would do so. “Please.”

The covers were thrown off and you welcomed the rush of cool air that washed over your clammy skin momentarily. You peeked. In the murky darkness, you recognized Alucard picking off his gloves by the fingers. He ripped off your panties. The menstrual product went flying somewhere too.

“ALUC–!” He was on top of you, hovering so close you could feel his breath. Did you accidentally agree to sleep with him? That wasn’t what you intended! “Oh, oh. It hurts!” You clenched your eyes again and shuddered, pushing the heel of your palm hard into your pelvis in a pitiful attempt to soothe your woes.

A cool hand slipped under yours. Not an ice pack, but any stimulation that distracted from the cramps was welcome relief. “This is all for you, Sweet.” He stroked your face. “Enjoy it.”

He was going to feed from you. Oh my God. He wanted to drink your–

Alucard smiled. “God is not here,” he muttered, crimson flashing dangerously as he approached.

Smooth lips replaced the hand as his nose flared. The No-Life King luxuriated in your scent and his triumph. He was in bed with you and iron filled his every sense. He saw you clear as day –so beautiful you were, naked with your raw and bloody pussy presented to him to feast on, the pinnacle of fine dining. He was almost reverent as he kissed his way lower and lower, inch by excruciating inch, until he was at eye level with his prize.

He was staring too intently. Sure, your pubic hair was beginning to grow out a bit, but you were never expecting intimate company! You were blind but all too aware of your nudity. Growing self-conscious when nothing happened, you lifted your arms to hide yourself, only to be instantly pinned to the mattress.

“Discard your notions of propriety, human. You are in bed with the devil tonight.”

The command shot to your loins, which coiled with heat. The toothy smirk gleamed and you held your breath in apprehension over what was to come, yet you were desperate for relief. Glancing down to try and see him, you were only met with blown pupils set in a dazzling scarlet. Your heart quivered at the devil between your legs, for you were at his mercy. 

Surrounded by your sweet fragrance, Alucard came alive with bloodlust. His senses prickled with awareness over everything that surrounded the two of you. He could hear your neighbours’ soft breathing as they slept and when they stirred; he tasted the bitterness of anger in the air from the quarrelling couple nearby. But none of them mattered. He scented your skin and fought the urge to sink fangs into your veins, at the junction where your thigh met your groin. He growled. Under your silly moisturizers was the refreshing smell of your natural scent. He leaned in for a taste. Then another pang of pain coursed through you and he felt you tensing from dread. 

Time to make good on his promise.

He licked your opening from perineum to vestibule, stopping to twirl around your clit with teasing feathery touches. 

“Ah!” You gasped, your head snapping downwards and thudding on the pillows.

Vision was fruitless, but the darkness stirred and heightened each sensation. A cool hand wrapped around your thigh and sank in for a massage to chase away your tension. The tongue flicked at your bud before soft lips nipped at your hood.

You whined from the prodding at everywhere that was private and sensitive on your body. Twin digits kneaded the two halves of your vulva. Over and over, the damn vampire pressed your meat in and stroked down, only to release at the bottom and tickle your hairs as he brought his fingers back to the top and continued the cycle as he blew frosty air on your nub.

You squirmed at the foreign sensations and tried to press your legs together. More hands arrived to pull you apart. Surrounded by red haze, it provided just enough light to illuminate Alucard’s pale face, half of which was hidden by your crotch. You think he pinched your clit between the sides of his fingers before peeling back your hood to suckle at your most intimate parts. A shaky exhale escaped you.

The room was dim. All you saw was the silhouette of his chalk-white face and the faint vermilion reflection in his hair. You could see his head dip and twist as he played you expertly like an instrument. And you sang for him. His caresses were sweet intoxication that left trails of electricity in their wake. Phantom limbs fondled your breasts and ran down your abdomen and sides, grasping at your buttocks like he was kneading dough. Gradually, he coaxed the tight coils in your womb to unravel.

A twinge of pain shot through as your uterus contracted again, but it was now bearable. Warm fluid flowed generously into the towel wedged under your bottom. “A-Alu, please don’t stop,” you gasped, yanking against your bonds, your fingers curling repeatedly around nothing. 

A cool fingertip pressed directly into your bud and traced lazy circles on the bundle of nerves so that your nails dug into the pad at the base of your palm. You keened to beg for more, for mercy, for what again? You weren’t entirely sure either, but you needed relief and you were certain the devil knew how to deliver.

You were too distracted to be privy to the copper mess between your legs. It caked your thighs and dripped from your kitten, mixing with the scrumptious juices of your arousal to trickle between the crevice of your rear. Alucard sucked the pooled blood soaked into the linens and mattress into himself. Nuzzling into your folds, he sighed and swallowed, savouring the honeyed delicacy on his tongue. He could get used to this. Perhaps he would be calmer if he was allowed to settle betwixt your legs nightly. Luminous feline eyes lifted to meet yours and he grinned, even if you couldn’t see it.

You lay limp and embarrassed, but needy, remaining splayed in a nervous, unspoken plea for more. He was watching you closely. Licking your lips, you wriggled in the hopes that the vampire may finally relent and let you go.

“I want to touch you too,” you murmured. 

Suddenly, you got your wish. Nothing held you down and you weakly propped yourself up, noticing Alucard had dismissed his thick clothing with a distinct fleshy slap and was kneeling close by, a hunter ready to spring. Again you tried to discern his features in the sombre lighting. 

The undulating crimson overcast was wrong. But what an experience it made for, like you were indulging in debauchery with a demon within the pits of the raging Inferno. He was corrupting your finer judgement and everything about what you were doing with this vampire was erroneous, but you and him were well past the point of right or wrong. 

Your eyes tentatively trailed down his lithe torso, making out the hint of shadows where the expanse of musculature waxed and waned, and you brushed your hands over his skin for exploration. You placed a kiss to where his unbeating heart was. As you squeezed and petted, you found his naked body lanky, but strong. You touched something steely that was covered in silk.

The vermilion smogging the air in your bedroom made your vision funny. At times, you saw his contrasting features with some clarity. At others, like now, visibility was almost nil. Perhaps the effect was from staring at Alucard’s smouldering shadow limbs for far too long. There was no oxygen in the room as you touched Alucard’s cock for the first time. It was his shaft that slapped his abdomen earlier. 

Alucard stood at attention –a lengthy and thick flagpole for your sole inspection. You traced down from the root to grasp him, both the pillar and the stones, but your fingers and thumb did not meet around his girth. You must have made a funny expression, because Alucard chuckled when you wrapped around him with the other hand and there was clearly still cock leftover. 

Curiously, you began to fondle his turgid member, feeling the way the skin slid with your hands. He was beyond stiff, but the skin was much softer than you ever expected. You rolled the velvet up and down, marvelling at the way it seemed to bunch at the tip in silken folds, wishing more than anything that you could see him properly right now. How majestic he must be.

The skin holding his jewels was loose too. You could jiggle those firm orbs in your fingers. This was fascinating. As you hefted his sack into your palm for closer study, Alucard exhaled, “Warm.”

A prompt reminder that he was dead… which didn’t stop you. Even the vampire’s genitals were cool to touch. “And you’re so cold,” you replied in a hushed tone with a shiver. Indeed, goosebumps covered your body from the prolonged contact and your nipples stayed in peaks. You briefly wondered whether his semen would be chilly as well…

The vampire was immaterial at once, shrouding the entire room in a miasma of darkness that rippled and seethed with a mind of its own. You were knocked onto your back again with your ankles draped over a vampire’s shoulders. Alucard growled, mania in his expression as he hovered over your face. Next to your skull, fabric was shredding under the force of his grip. Did he have claws?

You were prey to his kind. Never did you forget how dangerous your company was. The deep menacing rumble made your hair turn into fine quills, as did the frigid air puffing at your throat. You were supposed to be terrified, but when you made eye contact with the beast trapping you, something broke and your gaze gentled before your eyes fluttered closed. You breathed out, feeling more lucid than ever before. 

You hooked your arms around both knees to lift your legs towards the sky. “Please help me, Alucard.” You offered him your blood.

YOU PRESENT THIS OFFERING OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL, HUMAN? 

The voice in your mind was guttural, the words nearly indecipherable if it weren’t for the overbearing sense of their meaning that remained utterly succinct.

Yes. You observed him through slitted eyes with a peaceful bliss.

Alucard smirked, that lengthy tongue dangling at your crotch as crimson irises glittered with promise. Your breath caught. In a past life, you dreaded the feeling of that muscle on your skin…right now, your mind wandered to how long and agile it was. The places it could go. How would it fill you up? The heat sizzled off your skin as your heart galloped in anticipation.

The smug smile was in the vampire’s eyes as he wagged that appendage at you. He swooped low and kissed your opening as fingers skimmed over your pearl. Your breath hitched. The tongue was pushing into you.

“AHHHH!” Ouch! You squealed from the abrupt penetration and jerked. 

Alucard snarled at the perceived attempt to escape him, his control fraying at the seams. He growled, shaking to reign himself in and release the bruising grip on your hips. Talons sank instead into your pillows and shredded through the mattress as he hissed low into your ears, wondering distantly if he sounded more reassuring for you than his voice did to himself.

“Shh…” He soothed, “I will not allow you to feel more than a sweet ache.” The throaty rumbling continued, lustrous crimson flashing wildly as he scrutinized your parted lips and pulsing carotid. “You gave yourself to me. I will make it worthwhile.” Trust me. The vampire made his leisurely way back south.

But how could it be good when it hurts so badly? Your legs tightened around the shadowy head while tears flooded your vision. A light tapping at your nub, followed by thick laps to the entrance of your vagina. 

Alucard purred at the drizzle that flowed from you. “The finest taste to ever grace my lips.” He speared you with just the tip of his tongue and swirled into your opening to catch every drop while maintaining the pressure at your clit.

“Mm… feels weird,” you grunted.

The sinful lips found your femoral artery and nipped playfully, flicking back to your vulva to lave your inner and outer folds with worshipful licks before pressing kisses into your button again. Wet lips and mucous membranes melded in a series of slurps and smacks as he soon had you cooing helplessly once more.

A finger slipped its way into your depths without your notice. You moaned breathlessly and pitched your hips up at him. His lips got greedy and he let you squirm while you ran your fingers through his glossy hair and tugged. He let you pull his face onto your crotch, your feet kicking in the air before they came to a rest on his back. 

The digit was vibrating from side to side. It twisted and curled up into an unknown spot within that made you see stars. Your eyes slammed open in shock and you keened from the pleasure. Your feet flailed as you realized Alucard was proceeding as originally planned. The tongue replaced the finger and wound into your softened opening by massaging your sweet spot.

Unable to formulate a verbal defence, your jaws dropped and you shrieked from the intrusion, where he had deftly brought you to the point when words ran dry. You stared at him hoping for some semblance of benevolence, only to scream when his animal sounds sent vibrations into your pouch. 

Thick. Alucard’s tongue was girthy and did not fit into your unplundered hole. His entry, however, was steady and unrushed. Finally, he was fully inside you and the pitch of the purring dropped until it had warped back into a low growl. Feeling profoundly overwhelmed, you groaned from the stretch. Goodness, if he moved now, you would probably die.

Your face scrunched with discomfort. You were dripping wet from Alucard’s earlier care, but as he began to pull out, it felt like your innards were leaving with him. “!!” You begged him, the sides of your thighs clutched his head in the vanishing hopes that he’d ease up. The devil was smiling! You just knew it!

“Ahhh…” You cried out with a breathy moan as he pushed slowly back inside after an exaggerated swallow. He did it again, in and out, in and out, and you stared at him with eyes like saucers as he fucked you. 

You opened up for him eventually.

Holy shit. You took back any disparaging thoughts you previously expressed about his sexual prowess. He was amazing at this. Maybe a God was present here.

As you clung to his head desperately and gyrated into him with rabid enthusiasm, your eyes screwed shut, unable to bear staring into those twin rubies that always saw too clearly anymore, eager to simply enjoy the ride.

The sensation of fullness disappeared and your eyes snapped open and shot around in confusion for an explanation, finding Alucard's shining gaze immediately.

Wha- how? When you were so close, how could anyone just stop like he just did? 

Look at me while I drink you.

…

It was too cruel. He really must be an evil monster spawned from the bowels of hell after all, to demand that while he was doing something like this to you.

Cackling laughter boomed in mind and you got the feeling he was waiting, daring you to look away again. With a pitiful whimper, you kept a weary gaze on the devil as you spread your legs to grant him greater access to your core in surrender.

"An excellent decision. I always knew you were reasonable," Alucard purred. He pushed between your folds gently to finish making a meal of you.

Heat blossomed in your loins as he built you up yet again. It wound higher and tighter as your caretaker stayed prodding and lapping at your tortured meat. It would be so easy to let go and lose yourself in his hedonism. You pet his busy face, paying particular attention to tracing the muscles of his jaw with wonder while he showed you the carnal ways of the flesh. 

This creature of damnation was from hell, but he took you to heaven and led you to its doors. His desire was reflected by yours when you finally convulsed, exploding on his face while he took all you offered with noisy, obscene swallows as he mashed into you.

"Better?" He asked.

"Wow," you said dumbly, wishing you were able to tell him something more articulate after the treat you were given. Instead, you stared at him in confused awe. It was truly the highest compliment you could pay to the vampire. Alucard could not be more pleased with himself as he admired the results of his handiwork and licked his face clean of your fluids like a cat with cream.

"Uh…I think I'm okay now," you told him, safe at last to meekly avert your gaze as your knees unlocked. It was true. The crushing cramps had all but disappeared, taken away by Alucard’s ministrations as he’d promised.

What now? 

It was too soon to relax. Anxiety started to ramp as you saw his head lowering and you rushed to hide your leaky hole. Were you now supposed to consummate this, whatever this was between you?

Blood-red irises scintillated with flecks of orange and yellow, as always shimmering with amusement at your predicament.

"Aye, but I have not yet had my fill of you.” His gaze dropped closer, dilated pupils fixating upon your spent nether parts. “I have been famished lately. I could drink you alive."

Dawn was beginning to break and the darkness was no longer as deep. You saw Alucard grinning. It was an unholy, devious smirk. He dove back into your legs with the polite request for you to provide more sustenance, lest he have to remain for the day to sate himself fully. 

"You may have opened Pandora's box. I will never be denied this exquisiteness again."

It turned out that Alucard did not need trinkets such as silver piercings. His tongue alone got him many places with you.

~To Be Continued~

Chapter 12: The Feeling of Safety

-------------------- Notes: Teehee. The Reader doesn’t know it, but what she sees as Alucard being creepy and watching her, from Alucard’s perspective is him watching over her while she sleeps. She is one of his priorities. The idea for this Interlude was at the back of my mind for awhile. As someone who has periods, I felt like this biological function is something that should be addressed since our beau is a vampire. I found this chapter pretty difficult to write. Some parts of the smut came easily enough, but everything else…I was just stuck. I hope you enjoy the results though. RIP bed. I am super excited for the next chapter!

OMG I'm on the list?! I'm so flattered and happy I could cry!!! Thank you for reading it!😵😭 AND THANK YOU FOR THE OTHER FIC RECOMMENDATIONS!!! 🥰

Babe! Quick question; what are you’re favorite Hellsing fanfics? I need new fics! I’m afraid my well has gone dry😢

You KNOW I'm boutta take this opportunity to plug the homies

If you haven't read Revelations by the homie @neet0 yet, you're missing the fuck out. This fic totally overhauls the Hellsing setting, like, entirely, as well as Alucard's backstory, and turns what you think you know about these characters on their heads. But it's probs my favorite Hellsing fic and also cough cough may or may not have a lil crossover episode situation coming someday in the future featuring our two blorbos....... TL;DR this is a fun read.

You should also definitely be following @ofwraithsandwords with their work Plutonian Sun. Their prose is gorgeous and simply a joy to read.

I'm also really enjoying A Night For Hunting by @madarasgirl - easily my favorite Lulu/Reader fic active right now!

Honestly those are the recent few that have really left a mark on me in terms of extended stories, unless you want raw smutty stuff in which case I dig this, and also this.

EDIT: idk why those last two won't link so I guess we're going without??? EDIT2: fixed lol

A Night for Hunting Ch.10 -What Makes a Meal?

T/W: Alucard (Ultimate) x F!Reader, sexually suggestive content, but also some fluff. Romance, Riocard, shapeshifting. Smitten human with a crush. Seductive vampire troll, ‘dating.’ Comedy but not really? (things are amusing for Alucard at least).  Words: 5026 On AO3 @alastorhazbin

Thank you all for the birthday wishes! 

This chapter ended up longer than anticipated. Guess I was having fun too! I think it’s needed before the plot gets a bit more serious later.

I received a new shipment of orchids to add to my modest collection and I’ve been obsessed, if you can’t tell with my plant references.

Please read the note at the end of this chapter.

Alucard insisted on taking your number before you left for vacation with your closest friends. It was only a short trip away from home, but it was what you could manage. You ended up travelling to Scotland and visiting all the attractions of interest to your group, including Edinburgh Castle and the Isle of Skye. The landscape at the Isles was truly the stuff of legends. The soft light of late winter painted the sky deep pinks and purples during sunrise, the dusting of frost atop mountains were glittering diamonds in the morning sun before it melted into a shimmery dew, a series of picturesque waterfalls cascaded into the crystal clear Fairy Pools. It was a land of magic and enchantment more suited for a world of fantasy than reality. You almost wished Alucard was there so you could show him the beauty of the land and those spectacular sunrises. You captured countless photos to preserve the memory.

During a hike, your group’s passage disrupted a colony of hibernating bats, sending them fluttering in a noisy, chittering swarm. You scuttered away with your friends, yet you grinned even while squawking as everyone else did. These bats, however, did not possess scarlet eyes. Neither did they want anything to do with roosting in your hands as another bat did. 

He was at the back of your mind the entire time. Ever since you accepted your attraction to your immortal suitor, you thought of him frequently in increasingly fond terms. He was absolutely charming. It was frightening how quickly he came to occupy your conscious faculties. You hoped he’d appreciate the small gift you were bringing back to him. 

The vampire phoned at night on several occasions. Unfortunately, he did not allow you to elude him with only texting, stating that it was no proper way of communication. Once again, you were pleasantly surprised by the conversation with him. He was the most attentive audience as you excitedly recounted the adventures of the day, then he agreed with your hotel roommate as she teased you about ‘your boyfriend’ in the background of your calls. Curse his vampire hearing. You trembled at the deep voice on the other end. Between them, they had you tumbling into a flustered puddle of stutters and you terminated the call, telling him to let you be and that he was being an idiot.

You fell back on the mattress and pulled the sheets over your head so your friend wouldn’t see the stupid grin on your face. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered again as you recalled the smile you heard in Alucard’s voice during the call. --------------------

At last you were home in England. Considering the circumstances on how you met, the eagerness with which you wanted to see Alucard might be astonishing. His dastardly ways were mostly unchanged, yet his hunting of you for sport was long ago. Your current relationship was decidedly warm. 

There was no way you could treat him to a fancy restaurant, so you invited him over for dinner. It seemed like an excellent choice of activity until Alucard expressed his excitement about the prospects of you feeding him, only for you to repeatedly remind him he was not drinking from you again.

Sweet, I have arrived.

You fumbled with the lid to the pot before catching yourself and safely setting it down. You rushed to the entrance with a huge smile and pulled it open, only to stop dead in your tracks.

Huh?

Your smile dropped at the bizarre sight. It was undoubtedly Alucard on the other side of the door. You would never mistake those fiery eyes, the immense stature, and arrogant demeanour for anyone else. Yet he was different. His thick tresses revealed his hairline and fell straight past his rear. He wore a tailored black suit that fit him to perfection and a conceited smirk that matched the enthralling sunset gaze. There was something about his appearance that made him feel more unsettling and dangerous than usual.

You knew the vampire was a shapeshifter, yet you edged backwards when faced with the unfamiliar. His eyes glittered with mirth at your hesitation and his fingertips landed on your cheek with a delicate touch.

“Surely you have not forgotten me in a mere week, Dear?” He jested, rattling you out of your stupor.

As if that was possible. You shut your mouth. Yup, this was certainly Alucard. “I –I could never.” You meekly stepped aside to let in your guest and stared at him as he strode in like he owned your home.

“This is a gift for you,” he pronounced, setting a basket of yellowish, fragrant orchids in your hands. “It is known as ‘The Lady of the Night.’ It suits you.” It was a living arrangement of the whole plant, not just the cut flowers, and you shook your head at the vampire’s double meanings with a sigh. 

“Thank you. They are lovely.” You accepted the gift graciously and took a quick whiff of the citrusy fragrance that was to die for. The door shut and locked behind the vampire.

Alucard was in excellent spirits. He scented your excitement from behind the door and in truth, he was equally eager to see you. It smelled divine, the aromas of home-cooking and your nervousness mingled to tantalize his senses. He took in the sight of you standing awkwardly beside him, wondering if you were supposed to offer to take his coat, and grinned fiendishly. How adorable without even knowing it.

“Sweet, you should know the physical form I assume is meaningless. I may appear as whatever I desire.” 

His handsome countenance suddenly melted into whispering shadows. You gasped as his snakelike tongue lolled before he warped into a bipedal horned monster leaking darkness. His body stretched and broke open to reveal smooth bone, before sinewy muscle fibres formed over skeletal limbs and were encased in fresh skin. Those overly long, disproportionate fingers dripped of the night and you held your breath. You weren’t sure if you were afraid, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the grotesquely fascinating transformation. 

The monster dropped onto all fours, the horns elongating into antlers and with a series of crunches, the beast moulded itself into a giant elk that took up all of your living space. The metamorphosis was disturbing, but Alucard remained the most majestic creature, even as the elk sprouted eyes along its snout and down its hide. It stared into you for the longest moment and you didn’t look away, then it shrank into a dog, though the extra eyes remained.

And suddenly he became your Alucard again. 

The jagged shadows lashed about before flowing back and forming his familiar face, the darkness rippling around him with a crimson glow. It seemed the magic show was over and you were both silent. You finally released your bated breath. Instead of feeling terrified by the gnarly sight of Alucard remaking himself as if he was liquid, you giggled, then laughed out loud in wonder. You approached him to caress his hands, inspecting the digits that were reformed without any sign they were any longer mere moments ago. You stroked his cheeks, then went to the top of his head. No remnants of horns either.

Alucard’s brow lifted at your reaction. You were…excited by the prospect of having your own petting zoo? Yet he was not affronted by your debasement of his abilities as a Nosferatu. He made you laugh again and he basked in the sound. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ears, his smile matched your own toothy grin that showed your canines peeking through, so tiny compared to his fangs. 

You kept giggling, tucking a strand of imaginary hair away, unconsciously mirroring his actions and your eyes glittered as you lunged to embrace him. Such an unexpected and gratifying response you welcomed him with. His expression softened.

“Welcome back, little one,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around your waist.

Your lips parted and then closed. And opened again. You buried your face in his chest. “I missed you too, you jerk,” you mumbled, burrowing deeper when you felt the vibrations of his laughter. “I have something for you too, from Scotland.” Holding out something furry with both hands, you presented to your vampire a little stuffed toy bat. 

His brows raised before the orange pools spun and the light caught their golden flecks. He took the bat and studied it with a toothy grin, flicking a fond glance at you before tucking it away in his duster. “Delightful.”

You beamed bashfully and pulled apart. “Come on in, vampire, dinner is ready.”

You led your guest inside and seated him at the table. The seats were set and everything was just about cooked. All that was left to do was to plate the dishes and pour the drinks. You excused yourself briefly to use the bathroom.

Alucard settled into his seat while you used the facilities, listening to the sounds of your bodily functions, enjoying everything that made you human. Everything that was a normal life. His eyes opened as you returned and finished your preparations, materializing beside you to assist with preparing the beverages and floating the entrees over, making you shake your head in glee at his ‘magic tricks.’

He tugged at a chair to slide it across the floor with a hushed whisper, then tucked you back into the table once you were seated. “Dig in!” You proudly announced, quickly layering your bowl with an assortment of goods. 

As you tore into the deer, you peeked up at him in confusion. He made no moves to serve himself. You almost snorted. He may be your guest, but was he so insufferable he was expecting you to serve him like he was a king?

“You aren’t eating? Go ahead.” You pushed a dish at him and dabbed at the escaped sauce from your lips, not missing the way those predatory eyes followed the movement. 

“I will eat,” the vampire replied cryptically.

“You should while it’s hot. It’s venison stew, perfect for this weather! It’ll warm even you up,” you snickered, plopping a sizable serving into his bowl.

He didn’t reply.

This was getting awkward. You tried to chew quietly as your head spun. Was this some archaic vampire ritual where he was supposed to allow you to finish eating before he began? Did you mess up the dish somehow? Perhaps he preferred his meats more undercooked, bloodier? You somehow doubted it was because he didn’t consume meat. There simply didn’t seem to be a hint of a vegetarian in Alucard.

“The meal is perfectly divine, little one.”

The reassurance didn't help. “Then why…” You trailed off. The vampire was enamoured by the process of you eating. You set down the spoon as you finished swallowing.

“Alucard, you’re getting creepy again. You were expected to eat too, you know, not just stare at me.”

He chuckled. "You still wish to feed me?" 

“That was why you were invited.”

“As you wish, little one, but you are not feeding me.” 

You fixed the flattest, blankest stare in his direction. The quietness was nearly deafening. You made him a feast that blanketed every inch of the table. What game was he playing at now?

Sunset eyes got brighter and that grin grew wide. 

“Oh hell no. You’re a grown ass man! I’m not spoon-feeding you like you’re a toddler!”

“That is the only way I will eat human food.” He licked his lips.

“Then don’t eat! See if I care!” You huffed in disbelief, shoving in another bite to chew angrily. All that time spent preparing this plethora of dishes to perfection for this uncivilized beast. More for you, whatever. There will be plentiful food for the week.

The minutes stretched as you ate in silence by yourself. Childishly, you sliced the already tender morsels with more force than necessary to make a point. Several times, your gaze flickered up to check what your infuriating guest was doing, whether he was bluffing or if he truly expected you to demean yourself. An uncanny stare scrutinized every aspect of the way you consumed your food and suddenly you couldn’t remember why you missed him.

Grinding your teeth, you at last threw your hands up in frustration. “You really are insufferable!” You scooped up a slice of deer and shoved it at Alucard’s annoying mug.

The vampire's grin split even wider with his victory and the meat slid into his mouth. He started purring. “Heavenly. Were I still living, I would have appointed you a chef in my castle.”

You rolled your eyes at his grandiose words of praise. Even if he was a Duke or a Count or anyone of enough importance to warrant living in a castle, his manners were clearly plebeian. His appreciation for your efforts would be more apparent if you didn’t need to basically beg him to eat it.

“Come here, sweet one.”

“I am here,” you deadpanned.

“Your obstinate struggles against my will, as entertaining as they are, will always be fruitless, little human. Come here.” He scooted back in his chair and placed a hand on his lap. 

The audacity! This was your home. 

You had half a mind to demand he leave, but what were you going to do? Try shoving him out the door? He’d just phase through and mock you, if he even let you move him. If sitting in an ancient vampire’s lap to feed him dinner was the only way to expedite the process, so be it. Begrudgingly, you grumbled and plodded over to drop onto one of his thighs, only for him to scoop up your legs and drape you sideways over his lap.

You pouted and glared at him to show your displeasure.

“You really are charming when irate,” he purred, sticking his nose to your throat to nuzzle it. He inhaled. “For the aromas.” He chuckled when you tensed. “I am ready to eat, Sweet.”

You leaned away while pushing at his jaw to create distance, feeling the twitch in the corner of an eye as you picked up the fork and lanced the first piece of deer from Alucard’s bowl before lifting it to his lips. They wouldn’t part.

Not like that. His voice appeared in your mind, immediately followed by an image of yourself holding the cut to his lips between your fingertips.

“You really are going too far.”

“Humour me and you will find your freedom sooner.”

Picking up a slice of stew meat, you shoved it at the beast as you blazed with fury. He accepted the offering instantly, cool lips closing around your fingers to suckle. You squeaked in horror and yanked your hand back while he swallowed what you gave him whole.

“What the hell?!”

He smacked his lips and leered at you through lidded eyes. “Next.”

Gulping down your apprehension, you raised the next piece to his mouth and looked aghast as that scandalous tongue made a reappearance. Alucard made a show of licking your hand, beginning at the palm with a tickle and wrapping around your sauce-coated fingers. He lapped slowly at your fingertips as his eyes flashed, before gingerly taking the deer between sharp teeth and sucking it back with a wet slurp.

The hair on your arms stood on end, making your skin tingle. Your eyes met and his hand tightened around your waist. The other stroked up your thigh and squeezed your hip. Something else like appendages rubbed your shoulders and feet and held you tighter to him. He crooned and licked your jaw before capturing your lips to nibble on. The lounging beast sighed happily as your eyes bulged and you squirmed with discomfort on his lap.

“For the added seasoning,” he murmured against your ear.

That was just rude! 

The vampire cackled and flicked at your bottom lip again, making you flinch. “There exists no seasoning superior to your own taste.”

Piece by piece, you fed the old vampire by hand while he held you hostage in his lap. Despite feeling thoroughly harassed, eventually you couldn’t help but feel slightly flattered about your culinary abilities that elicited a response like this. If he liked your food so much, you supposed you could just cook for him again but skip this degenerate’s feeding kink, although being perched on his lap was not too bad. Neither was his touch wholly unwelcome. 

You pet his cheek while he chewed, his expression the face of pleasure. Nuzzling into your palm with a moan, his eyes opened to slits when you brushed up one side to investigate the pointy earlobe. He kept purring as loud as an engine.

Your eyes focused on the dancing shadows that surrounded him. They floated and twirled and seemingly pulsed at times. So mesmerizing.

Your unoccupied hand dipped cautiously into the shadow tendrils flowing around Alucard. He shuddered and growled, so low it was nearly imperceptible. A single wisp wrapped around your hand and you held onto it. Making contact with it was the strangest experience. Alucard's shadows were just that –not really tangible, yet you were able to physically touch his darkness. It buzzed in your hand with arcane energy that rippled through your being and tickled your spirit. Finally, you let him go, unable to bear the sensation any longer, and dropped your head on his broad shoulder to rest.

The heat was probably too high in your apartment after so much cooking. Your shirt clung to musky armpits and you fidgeted on Alucard’s lap as the undead cat finished another bite. He inhaled deeply, heavy purrs rumbling through his chest and vibrating through you. What a pervert. Always too suggestive. Always too attractive.

You absentmindedly gave him another piece, nipping on your lips and staring everywhere except at him when he started licking again. Something hard slid against your finger, catching your attention. The goddamn vampire was dragging the side of a fang against your ring finger. You held your breath, but again, it wasn't fear you felt, only curiosity at where he was going with this when he plainly stated he had no intention of biting you.

You caught the wicked smirk and glint in his eyes, now a deeper shade than at the onset of the meal. Again with the teasing. The air was heavy, the aura of mystery and danger swirled. His hair was longer and the locks fluttered despite the lack of a breeze. The lights dimmed before coming back on, throwing contrasting shadows across the pale profile you enjoyed looking at so much.

This smug vampire knew he was magnificent.

Your body responded aptly. After being subjected to hearing and feeling him purr all night, as well as the sensation of having his hands on you all night, you fell victim to his allure… the devilish monstrosity was simply irresistible. It felt like you were sitting in a furnace when you lowered your gaze from his triumphant one.

There it was, the scent of arousal. Alucard inhaled loudly, nostrils flaring as he absorbed his victory, ensuring you knew he was fully aware of your state of restlessness. Human food may be disgusting, but the taste of your skin was sweet ambrosia. For it to be finally paired with this ravishing perfume? Alucard believed he would never have enough of this gourmet delicacy.

The vampire was rock hard. A stiff shaft prodded your rump, large enough to make an impression even through fine wool and the awkward positioning. Your wide eyes lifted slowly to meet his, your shock at odds with his amusement.

The hands returned, the touch now lewd compared to the gentle exploration earlier. A shadow hand massaged your breast, alternatively kneading the mound between its palm and fingers. He traced circles around the tip to create a pebble before he pinched it. Your guest took your lips, prodding insistently until you yielded to his demands. Cold muscle delved into your mouth and he growled as he slid around to conquer and explore. Something firm held the back of your head when you attempted to escape. Another hand. His hands were everywhere, stroking and grabbing until you writhed in his grasp.

Your musk got heavier as your underwear became saturated with fluid. Even you smelled it. Alucard keened and encouraged you to touch him. A strange energy embraced you, leaving you gasping and he smirked with satisfaction. 

Curiously, you rested a palm on his chest. He had no heartbeat. Your heart was pounding, but there was nothing beating in his, nothing to show that you weren’t the only one hot and bothered. A moment of trepidation flashed by and passed. Resting your forehead to his chin, you trailed down his torso to rest lightly on the front of his pants. It was held up with steel that strained the smooth material into an indecent tent. You cupped it width-wise, its girth taking up most of the curvature your hand created, and tentatively ran your palm down the length. Down and down and down your hand travelled, until the end ran under your leg and disappeared.

Sweet Jesus, how big was this monster?

He hissed in pleasure as he made another show of licking your fingers, sucking them into his maw one by one. The devil held you spellbound through glowing vermilion orbs. No…you searched within your consciousness…the ancient vampire wasn’t hypnotizing you. This was all you. The revelation was more frightening than anything.

You shivered.

“What say you? Shall we search for nirvana this fine evening for dessert?”

“E-excuse me?”

“As I proposed, I will mount y–”

“I know how the mechanics work!” You screamed, your face on fire as you suddenly found yourself free of your prison and you scrambled off of him in an uncoordinated tangle of limbs, tripping over yourself and landing on your rear by his feet.

Alucard threw his head back and roared raucously as he leaned back to watch you. Eyes opened on the ground and curled in laughter to join in. The extra extremities disappeared. As did your desire –in just these few seconds, your libido jumped off a cliff and died, to be replaced by total mortification.

Not knowing how to recover, you picked yourself up from the floor as the vampire shook his head and chuckled. Stomping down the hall, you turned and hollered, “Time for you to leave! I’m going to bed!” Nevermind the fact that you just ate. 

The door slammed behind you and you crumbled to the floor in a panting heap, the mind racing to process what happened. A vampire, you were about to lay with a marauding predator of the night. Sinfully beautiful, but a ruthless murderer nonetheless. You hugged your legs and tried to calm yourself.

It was futile. You too craved his presence.

“...”

You sat alone longer at the edge of a precipice, the distance providing some much-needed clarity, until you finally stood shakily with your fingertips lingering on the door knob, about to flip the switch when you stopped yourself. If you were to be honest with yourself, you didn’t detest this vampire anymore. You would not mind if he stayed the night. 

…The bedroom door was left unlocked.

-----------------------

You stirred, sticking out a leg and kicking over to the other side of the bed, the cotton sheets brushing softly against your naked skin. With an arching back, you stretched the entire length of your body, from the tips of your fingers to the bottoms of your feet, and yawned. The muscles in your legs cramped from being perched in one position last night. Your toes poked out from under the blanket.

“I bid you good morning, little human.”

You sat up abruptly and found the unblinking crimson set of eyes in the corner of the room. For a moment, fear shot up your spine, the terrifying recollection of being at the mercy of a red-eyed monster who wanted to rip into you on another occasion made your blood run cold. 

But there was no need for alarm this time. Your heart raced even as the fright dissipated.

There he was, sitting on the grey loveseat with his legs crossed and a frown marring his features, his fingers loosely intertwined. Shooting a panicked glance over to the window, you saw there was indeed light filtering around the edges of the curtains, illuminating the bedroom with the gentle rays of morning. But the sun! Why wasn’t he going off in flames? Did he just watch you sleep the entire night? 

“Why are you here?” You asked dumbly.

The frown turned upside down and the vampire cackled, two rows of jagged teeth gleaming like a bear trap. “You invited me in, little one.”

“But you stayed the night?”

“Watching you breathe,” he purred, “listening to your heart beat.”

Creepy, psychopathic behaviour, but then again, this was Alucard you were referring to. You held the sheets closer to your chest before remembering to check on your state of undress beneath. You were the same as how you went to bed, crotch still clammy from the devil’s seduction last night.

“I meant the sun. How are you alive? Shouldn’t you be a pile of ashes?” 

He smiled. “Your legends generally do not apply to a true vampire like myself.”

Indeed, Alucard actually looked fresh and well-composed, as if he didn’t spend the night sexually harassing a young woman and then ogled her as she slept. The fog in your mind slowly retreated. A true vampire… There was so much you didn’t know about the supernatural.

You rubbed your eyes and blinked at him. "So the sun doesn't hurt you?"

"No more than it harms you, though I may despise the day."

"Then how about garlic?"

He snorted.

"Crosses? Holy water?"

"Mere irritations."

"Silver?"

"Ah– that may cause injury." The vampire closed his eyes and snickered. "So curious about my existence, little one. You want me dead?" Hellfire bore through your soul.

Dead?

You froze, unsure of how to respond. Did you want him dead? Vampires were a menace to society, a scourge. Wouldn't the world be better off without demons like him wandering it? “You are already dead. But…I can’t say I want you gone for good anymore…”

Silence. The fire burned warmly in those molten pools. "You are such an intriguing creature," he murmured.

You shuffled in bed and propped up a pillow behind your back, being careful to keep the sheets draped over your chest, thoroughly conscious of your nakedness. A million questions bloomed in mind as you sat quietly across from this ancient creature a few paces away, who witnessed the eras come and go. Was it okay to ask now?

“So…how did you become a vampire?”

He sat back and tilted his chin up in thought before staring down his nose at you. “At the end of my human life, I chose vengeance and hate."

You perked up. To be or not to be. "So your sire gave you the option to become a vampire?" You recalled his reaction the last time you inquired about his sire. Hopefully vampirism wasn't a fate that was forced upon him.

Alucard didn't respond immediately. "I have no sire, little human."

You were mildly confused. That was how vampires were born though, wasn't it? Vampires created vampires, as they also gave rise to ghouls. Alucard himself told you so. It seemed the more you learned from him, the less you knew. There was always another secret.

You blurted it out, much more directly than the last time you broached this topic months ago. "...Do you ever regret it?"

He looked sad, wistful, and your heart churned for a demon. What was this feeling? His gaze dimmed, turning downcast as the frown returned.

"Cherish your humanity, child."

Not knowing what to say, you reached for him and he came to you immediately, kneeling by the side of the bed and resting his face in your hand. You ran your fingers through the silky hair you adored and the vampire sighed against your touch.

You pondered Alucard's words as you pet him. So many questions. "Then what about that vampire you shot? Is he like you? Are there other vampires like you who don't bite?"

Alucard tensed before smiling slightly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m not something so vulgar and cheap. And I do bite.” A hand shot up to grasp your wrist by his face.

You were undeterred. You put your other hand to his chest and once more noted the lack of comforting beats. His touch wasn’t gross like with the other vampire. In fact, physical contact with Alucard no longer made you feel the need to shower. His aura no longer urged you to run and hide, or face mortal peril. Actually, this was quite pleasant.

His face came within inches of yours and you felt his icy breath as he spoke.

“If you can kill me, I would gladly die by your hands.” He purred at you, pressing your hand hard into his chest, leaning heavily into your touch and lowering his head to rub noses.

To be or not to be. You snorted, “As if that’s even in the realm of possibilities.”

“Only a human can kill a monster.”

“You are not making any sense.” You’ve seen what he can do. He had superpowers while you were a normal mortal. Kill him? What a joke.

Alucard chuckled, “No, I suppose not.” A gloved finger bumped softly against the tip of your nose and he closed the gap between you. Luminescent irises whirled, his gaze affectionate. You stared back into the balmy gaze as you let your lips and foreheads touch in a tender meeting.

Minutes had passed when you pulled apart.

“Okay, you got your show. Time for you to leave.” You sighed, brushing a thumb against his cheek one last time before dragging your sheets with you to keep yourself modest as you rose from bed to pull open the curtains.

He was gone from your room when you turned back.

~To be Continued~

Chapter 11: Interlude I Chapter 12: The Feeling of Safety

Notes:  For those of you not familiar with Shakespeare’s work, Hamlet, “To be or not to be, that is the question” is probably the most well-known line from his play. This infamous soliloquy is referring to the decision “to live or not to live,” something Hamlet pondered as he discussed how painful living is and how death may be preferable, if it weren’t for the uncertainty of what came afterwards. Hamlet was suicidal. It is deeper when Alucard said it because he wasn’t merely referring to his ‘cowardly’ decision to turn (“to be a vampire”), but also how by choosing ‘to be,’ he ended up damning himself to an eternity of unlife instead. Alucard wants to die.

While I think Alucard wasn't constantly shagging everyone prior to meeting us, I headcanon that he is normally open to sexual relationships with humans should they be interested (and if they interest him). And if Alucard is sexually interested in someone, he will certainly at least try to seduce them. Alucard is extremely suggestive, very sensual, and the type to take a mile if you give him an inch. If you let him in your pants once, he'll be seeking opportunities to charm them off again. He knows he's attractive, good in bed, and that we’re hot for him. 

So now I feel like I kind of lied when I said "no smut" in this story's initial tags (hey it was supposed to be a oneshot), but I think I actually can't avoid some racy content if we're to get to the point where we want to give Alucard all of ourselves. This fic had mature themes from the beginning, so I believe most readers won’t have too much issue with more sexual content, but explicit smut scenes will be mostly in the interludes from this point on. It is now officially “eventual smut/NSFW." Things will be spicier here and there. The Interludes can be skipped and readers will (probably) not miss too much. Just FYI, they eventually do pretty much everything except fuck “all the way,” ie. P-in-V sex. BTW, next chapter is an interlude. It features period blood and is really not for everyone (but hey, our dear monster is a vampire), in which case I hope you’ll enjoy Ch.12 more!

Above: Brassavola nodosa, The Lady of the Night. Not my orchid, but one I eventually want to add to my collection. I wasn't aware of this, but apparently in some cultures, it represents the connection between the living and the dead. Only at night it is fragrant, releasing a smell that is described as citrusy or like gardenias.

A Night for Hunting Ch.11 -Interlude I

T/W: NSFW, 18+, Alucard (Ultimate) x F!Reader, slice of life, menstrual blood with related explicit sexual content, hungry vampire Words: 4124 On AO3

I actually do think Alucard would be interested in his Reader’s grooming routine. He’s lived a long time and modern cosmetics are very different from what he’s seen. Everything about her is interesting, even the mundane acts of daily living, because those are all things his corpse doesn’t need. Enjoy the light-hearted fluff for now…this is their bonding time. You aren’t imagining it. Her speech with him is sometimes more informal as she gets more comfortable around this harbinger of death.

I waited SO long to write some more funny business with Alucard. I hope you enjoy it. This chapter can be skipped if vampire-style period smut doesn’t interest you and I think you shouldn’t miss much plot-wise. 

Another flavour of body lotion was in the air. Or rather, “body butter,” as you called it, insisting a viscous moisturizer was more suitable for the dry spring air while the heat remained active. It smelled like lavender, unlike the last one which was definitively of cucumbers. Alucard decided this product was likewise agreeable with his senses. His only regret was that he arrived too late tonight to watch you apply it.

Alucard scented the air again. Ah, that was an even more enticing aroma. He inhaled deeply and rumbled softly in pleasure at your monthly, which hung heavily in the air, tantalizing and delicious.

It was fascinating how the human body required nourishment in every way, even the skin. He sat soundlessly in the loveseat and watched you go about your routine. You twisted a glossy bottle open. He smirked. The vampire remained invisible in the mirror, and you were all the more unaware and unsuspecting of his presence while you preened. He memorized the outline of your fingers and their circular motions as you smeared a creamy white gel across your face while carefully avoiding your eyes. 

He purred at your actions.

His human was startled. You whipped around with a short yelp and dropped the container, lurching backward in the process and banging into the nightstand. It never reached the floor. The vampire king scooped up the tiny jug midair and offered it back to you.

“I am equally pleased to see you, little one.” Alucard grinned.

You took in the imposing dark giant towering over you, his eyes vibrant and alive, and let out a laugh. 

“Alucard! You scared me! Don’t just show up behind me like that!” Your palm fell over your chest as you caught your breath. His gaze lingered on your hand and you plucked the ridiculous little bottle from his fingers. 

Even without your affirmation, the vampire felt your shock, the moment when fear of the unexpected intruder spiked and your hair stood on end, when adrenaline filled your veins and made your blood run cold. And when that pungent taste of fear was quickly replaced with excitement by his presence, which prompted a stirring in his loins.

“The candid can be riveting.” He tracked you as you turned your back to him and bustled around. How naively trusting, but it was part of your allure.

“Give me some time! You arrived so late, I thought you weren’t coming by tonight. Just started a face mask.”

Your guest stared at you with interest.

“This weather! It’s for hydration and to prevent fine lines.”

The vampire chuckled lightly, “Humans, your kind do everything to delay aging and to avoid your mortality.”

“I don’t want to hear that from a 500-year old immortal who gets to look the way you do.” You stuck your tongue out at him. “You know, one day I’ll be an old woman. Whatcha gonna do with me then?” You raised a brow.

"You meant to say you will grow even more beautiful day after day?" 

Your eyes bulged at his pretty words, but you didn't find insincerity. You flapped your lips to pull words from the ether. “Your silver-tongued flattery won’t get you anywhere,” you warned.

“I prefer there to be no silver in my tongue.”

You cackled, “No silver tongue piercings for you then, not even sterling?” You winked at him, a smile brightening your features more than any mask ever could.

The corner of the vampire’s lips lifted. “Absolutely not, unless you insist.” 

—--------------------

You came back to awareness with a jolt.

“I’m sorry, it’s hard to stay awake. I was going to go to bed soon when you arrived.” You yawned. Your face was radiant after rinsing off the mask and applying your moisturizer earlier. And then you fell asleep mid-conversation with your undead guest. Just slumped over in bed and lost consciousness. What a poor hostess you made.

Alucard lost the iconic hat, glasses, and coat while you were asleep. He gestured amiably with his palm up towards the bed you were sprawled across, as if to invite you to continue.

“…You’re just going to watch me?”

“This activity is rapidly becoming a favourite pastime.”

“That’s really creepy and you have shallow priorities.”

“A matter of perspective.” 

“Surely you must have better things to do?” It was difficult to see in the gloom, but you were reasonably sure he was smirking.

You sighed, “Suit yourself.” With your resignation, you crawled up your bed and tucked yourself into the sheets, shimmying out of your night clothes before shooting one last glance at the glowing crimson orbs and closing your eyes. “Goodnight Alucard,” you whispered.

Rest well, little one.

You smiled and turned around to face the other wall.

—--------------------

Falling asleep a second time proved impossible. Without the constant movement earlier in the night, the cramps finally caught up to you. A searing pain seized your lower abdomen and sent fire up your spine.

You screamed internally in agony and hunched over yourself. AHH, how you wanted to rip out your uterus yourself if it would spare you this suffering. You considered your options: you had no Tylenol. Ibuprofen? No, not on a now-empty stomach, as if the medication options ever provided lasting relief anyways. A heat pack?

It ripped through your core again and you tossed around to the other side of the bed, legs spasming out and toes curling. With a grimace, you took deep, ragged breaths and groaned.

The bed dipped and you jumped, which only worsened the pain. Your eyes watered. There must be a knife in your flesh. There could be no other explanation for the ache. 

A pleasant fog clouded your mind and the pressure suddenly alleviated. Opening bleary eyes, that massive shadow was still there, unmoving and deeper than black, staring at you with those red, red irises. You tried to focus on them.

All Alucard did was pluck at your consciousness to redirect your attention from your affliction to himself. With anyone else, he would certainly bask in their torment while laughing at their expense. With you though, he did not enjoy watching you writhe in anguish, especially from discomfort that was so easily banished.

“Would you like your suffering eased?”

You let out a feeble whine. “You can help me?” You didn’t even ask him how he would do so. “Please.”

The covers were thrown off and you welcomed the rush of cool air that washed over your clammy skin momentarily. You peeked. In the murky darkness, you recognized Alucard picking off his gloves by the fingers. He ripped off your panties. The menstrual product went flying somewhere too.

“ALUC–!” He was on top of you, hovering so close you could feel his breath. Did you accidentally agree to sleep with him? That wasn’t what you intended! “Oh, oh. It hurts!” You clenched your eyes again and shuddered, pushing the heel of your palm hard into your pelvis in a pitiful attempt to soothe your woes.

A cool hand slipped under yours. Not an ice pack, but any stimulation that distracted from the cramps was welcome relief. “This is all for you, Sweet.” He stroked your face. “Enjoy it.”

He was going to feed from you. Oh my God. He wanted to drink your–

Alucard smiled. “God is not here,” he muttered, crimson flashing dangerously as he approached.

Smooth lips replaced the hand as his nose flared. The No-Life King luxuriated in your scent and his triumph. He was in bed with you and iron filled his every sense. He saw you clear as day –so beautiful you were, naked with your raw and bloody pussy presented to him to feast on, the pinnacle of fine dining. He was almost reverent as he kissed his way lower and lower, inch by excruciating inch, until he was at eye level with his prize.

He was staring too intently. Sure, your pubic hair was beginning to grow out a bit, but you were never expecting intimate company! You were blind but all too aware of your nudity. Growing self-conscious when nothing happened, you lifted your arms to hide yourself, only to be instantly pinned to the mattress.

“Discard your notions of propriety, human. You are in bed with the devil tonight.”

The command shot to your loins, which coiled with heat. The toothy smirk gleamed and you held your breath in apprehension over what was to come, yet you were desperate for relief. Glancing down to try and see him, you were only met with blown pupils set in a dazzling scarlet. Your heart quivered at the devil between your legs, for you were at his mercy. 

Surrounded by your sweet fragrance, Alucard came alive with bloodlust. His senses prickled with awareness over everything that surrounded the two of you. He could hear your neighbours’ soft breathing as they slept and when they stirred; he tasted the bitterness of anger in the air from the quarrelling couple nearby. But none of them mattered. He scented your skin and fought the urge to sink fangs into your veins, at the junction where your thigh met your groin. He growled. Under your silly moisturizers was the refreshing smell of your natural scent. He leaned in for a taste. Then another pang of pain coursed through you and he felt you tensing from dread. 

Time to make good on his promise.

He licked your opening from perineum to vestibule, stopping to twirl around your clit with teasing feathery touches. 

“Ah!” You gasped, your head snapping downwards and thudding on the pillows.

Vision was fruitless, but the darkness stirred and heightened each sensation. A cool hand wrapped around your thigh and sank in for a massage to chase away your tension. The tongue flicked at your bud before soft lips nipped at your hood.

You whined from the prodding at everywhere that was private and sensitive on your body. Twin digits kneaded the two halves of your vulva. Over and over, the damn vampire pressed your meat in and stroked down, only to release at the bottom and tickle your hairs as he brought his fingers back to the top and continued the cycle as he blew frosty air on your nub.

You squirmed at the foreign sensations and tried to press your legs together. More hands arrived to pull you apart. Surrounded by red haze, it provided just enough light to illuminate Alucard’s pale face, half of which was hidden by your crotch. You think he pinched your clit between the sides of his fingers before peeling back your hood to suckle at your most intimate parts. A shaky exhale escaped you.

The room was dim. All you saw was the silhouette of his chalk-white face and the faint vermilion reflection in his hair. You could see his head dip and twist as he played you expertly like an instrument. And you sang for him. His caresses were sweet intoxication that left trails of electricity in their wake. Phantom limbs fondled your breasts and ran down your abdomen and sides, grasping at your buttocks like he was kneading dough. Gradually, he coaxed the tight coils in your womb to unravel.

A twinge of pain shot through as your uterus contracted again, but it was now bearable. Warm fluid flowed generously into the towel wedged under your bottom. “A-Alu, please don’t stop,” you gasped, yanking against your bonds, your fingers curling repeatedly around nothing. 

A cool fingertip pressed directly into your bud and traced lazy circles on the bundle of nerves so that your nails dug into the pad at the base of your palm. You keened to beg for more, for mercy, for what again? You weren’t entirely sure either, but you needed relief and you were certain the devil knew how to deliver.

You were too distracted to be privy to the copper mess between your legs. It caked your thighs and dripped from your kitten, mixing with the scrumptious juices of your arousal to trickle between the crevice of your rear. Alucard sucked the pooled blood soaked into the linens and mattress into himself. Nuzzling into your folds, he sighed and swallowed, savouring the honeyed delicacy on his tongue. He could get used to this. Perhaps he would be calmer if he was allowed to settle betwixt your legs nightly. Luminous feline eyes lifted to meet yours and he grinned, even if you couldn’t see it.

You lay limp and embarrassed, but needy, remaining splayed in a nervous, unspoken plea for more. He was watching you closely. Licking your lips, you wriggled in the hopes that the vampire may finally relent and let you go.

“I want to touch you too,” you murmured. 

Suddenly, you got your wish. Nothing held you down and you weakly propped yourself up, noticing Alucard had dismissed his thick clothing with a distinct fleshy slap and was kneeling close by, a hunter ready to spring. Again you tried to discern his features in the sombre lighting. 

The undulating crimson overcast was wrong. But what an experience it made for, like you were indulging in debauchery with a demon within the pits of the raging Inferno. He was corrupting your finer judgement and everything about what you were doing with this vampire was erroneous, but you and him were well past the point of right or wrong. 

Your eyes tentatively trailed down his lithe torso, making out the hint of shadows where the expanse of musculature waxed and waned, and you brushed your hands over his skin for exploration. You placed a kiss to where his unbeating heart was. As you squeezed and petted, you found his naked body lanky, but strong. You touched something steely that was covered in silk.

The vermilion smogging the air in your bedroom made your vision funny. At times, you saw his contrasting features with some clarity. At others, like now, visibility was almost nil. Perhaps the effect was from staring at Alucard’s smouldering shadow limbs for far too long. There was no oxygen in the room as you touched Alucard’s cock for the first time. It was his shaft that slapped his abdomen earlier. 

Alucard stood at attention –a lengthy and thick flagpole for your sole inspection. You traced down from the root to grasp him, both the pillar and the stones, but your fingers and thumb did not meet around his girth. You must have made a funny expression, because Alucard chuckled when you wrapped around him with the other hand and there was clearly still cock leftover. 

Curiously, you began to fondle his turgid member, feeling the way the skin slid with your hands. He was beyond stiff, but the skin was much softer than you ever expected. You rolled the velvet up and down, marvelling at the way it seemed to bunch at the tip in silken folds, wishing more than anything that you could see him properly right now. How majestic he must be.

The skin holding his jewels was loose too. You could jiggle those firm orbs in your fingers. This was fascinating. As you hefted his sack into your palm for closer study, Alucard exhaled, “Warm.”

A prompt reminder that he was dead… which didn’t stop you. Even the vampire’s genitals were cool to touch. “And you’re so cold,” you replied in a hushed tone with a shiver. Indeed, goosebumps covered your body from the prolonged contact and your nipples stayed in peaks. You briefly wondered whether his semen would be chilly as well…

The vampire was immaterial at once, shrouding the entire room in a miasma of darkness that rippled and seethed with a mind of its own. You were knocked onto your back again with your ankles draped over a vampire’s shoulders. Alucard growled, mania in his expression as he hovered over your face. Next to your skull, fabric was shredding under the force of his grip. Did he have claws?

You were prey to his kind. Never did you forget how dangerous your company was. The deep menacing rumble made your hair turn into fine quills, as did the frigid air puffing at your throat. You were supposed to be terrified, but when you made eye contact with the beast trapping you, something broke and your gaze gentled before your eyes fluttered closed. You breathed out, feeling more lucid than ever before. 

You hooked your arms around both knees to lift your legs towards the sky. “Please help me, Alucard.” You offered him your blood.

YOU PRESENT THIS OFFERING OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL, HUMAN? 

The voice in your mind was guttural, the words nearly indecipherable if it weren’t for the overbearing sense of their meaning that remained utterly succinct.

Yes. You observed him through slitted eyes with a peaceful bliss.

Alucard smirked, that lengthy tongue dangling at your crotch as crimson irises glittered with promise. Your breath caught. In a past life, you dreaded the feeling of that muscle on your skin…right now, your mind wandered to how long and agile it was. The places it could go. How would it fill you up? The heat sizzled off your skin as your heart galloped in anticipation.

The smug smile was in the vampire’s eyes as he wagged that appendage at you. He swooped low and kissed your opening as fingers skimmed over your pearl. Your breath hitched. The tongue was pushing into you.

“AHHHH!” Ouch! You squealed from the abrupt penetration and jerked. 

Alucard snarled at the perceived attempt to escape him, his control fraying at the seams. He growled, shaking to reign himself in and release the bruising grip on your hips. Talons sank instead into your pillows and shredded through the mattress as he hissed low into your ears, wondering distantly if he sounded more reassuring for you than his voice did to himself.

“Shh…” He soothed, “I will not allow you to feel more than a sweet ache.” The throaty rumbling continued, lustrous crimson flashing wildly as he scrutinized your parted lips and pulsing carotid. “You gave yourself to me. I will make it worthwhile.” Trust me. The vampire made his leisurely way back south.

But how could it be good when it hurts so badly? Your legs tightened around the shadowy head while tears flooded your vision. A light tapping at your nub, followed by thick laps to the entrance of your vagina. 

Alucard purred at the drizzle that flowed from you. “The finest taste to ever grace my lips.” He speared you with just the tip of his tongue and swirled into your opening to catch every drop while maintaining the pressure at your clit.

“Mm… feels weird,” you grunted.

The sinful lips found your femoral artery and nipped playfully, flicking back to your vulva to lave your inner and outer folds with worshipful licks before pressing kisses into your button again. Wet lips and mucous membranes melded in a series of slurps and smacks as he soon had you cooing helplessly once more.

A finger slipped its way into your depths without your notice. You moaned breathlessly and pitched your hips up at him. His lips got greedy and he let you squirm while you ran your fingers through his glossy hair and tugged. He let you pull his face onto your crotch, your feet kicking in the air before they came to a rest on his back. 

The digit was vibrating from side to side. It twisted and curled up into an unknown spot within that made you see stars. Your eyes slammed open in shock and you keened from the pleasure. Your feet flailed as you realized Alucard was proceeding as originally planned. The tongue replaced the finger and wound into your softened opening by massaging your sweet spot.

Unable to formulate a verbal defence, your jaws dropped and you shrieked from the intrusion, where he had deftly brought you to the point when words ran dry. You stared at him hoping for some semblance of benevolence, only to scream when his animal sounds sent vibrations into your pouch. 

Thick. Alucard’s tongue was girthy and did not fit into your unplundered hole. His entry, however, was steady and unrushed. Finally, he was fully inside you and the pitch of the purring dropped until it had warped back into a low growl. Feeling profoundly overwhelmed, you groaned from the stretch. Goodness, if he moved now, you would probably die.

Your face scrunched with discomfort. You were dripping wet from Alucard’s earlier care, but as he began to pull out, it felt like your innards were leaving with him. “!!” You begged him, the sides of your thighs clutched his head in the vanishing hopes that he’d ease up. The devil was smiling! You just knew it!

“Ahhh…” You cried out with a breathy moan as he pushed slowly back inside after an exaggerated swallow. He did it again, in and out, in and out, and you stared at him with eyes like saucers as he fucked you. 

You opened up for him eventually.

Holy shit. You took back any disparaging thoughts you previously expressed about his sexual prowess. He was amazing at this. Maybe a God was present here.

As you clung to his head desperately and gyrated into him with rabid enthusiasm, your eyes screwed shut, unable to bear staring into those twin rubies that always saw too clearly anymore, eager to simply enjoy the ride.

The sensation of fullness disappeared and your eyes snapped open and shot around in confusion for an explanation, finding Alucard's shining gaze immediately.

Wha- how? When you were so close, how could anyone just stop like he just did? 

Look at me while I drink you.

…

It was too cruel. He really must be an evil monster spawned from the bowels of hell after all, to demand that while he was doing something like this to you.

Cackling laughter boomed in mind and you got the feeling he was waiting, daring you to look away again. With a pitiful whimper, you kept a weary gaze on the devil as you spread your legs to grant him greater access to your core in surrender.

"An excellent decision. I always knew you were reasonable," Alucard purred. He pushed between your folds gently to finish making a meal of you.

Heat blossomed in your loins as he built you up yet again. It wound higher and tighter as your caretaker stayed prodding and lapping at your tortured meat. It would be so easy to let go and lose yourself in his hedonism. You pet his busy face, paying particular attention to tracing the muscles of his jaw with wonder while he showed you the carnal ways of the flesh. 

This creature of damnation was from hell, but he took you to heaven and led you to its doors. His desire was reflected by yours when you finally convulsed, exploding on his face while he took all you offered with noisy, obscene swallows as he mashed into you.

"Better?" He asked.

"Wow," you said dumbly, wishing you were able to tell him something more articulate after the treat you were given. Instead, you stared at him in confused awe. It was truly the highest compliment you could pay to the vampire. Alucard could not be more pleased with himself as he admired the results of his handiwork and licked his face clean of your fluids like a cat with cream.

"Uh…I think I'm okay now," you told him, safe at last to meekly avert your gaze as your knees unlocked. It was true. The crushing cramps had all but disappeared, taken away by Alucard’s ministrations as he’d promised.

What now? 

It was too soon to relax. Anxiety started to ramp as you saw his head lowering and you rushed to hide your leaky hole. Were you now supposed to consummate this, whatever this was between you?

Blood-red irises scintillated with flecks of orange and yellow, as always shimmering with amusement at your predicament.

"Aye, but I have not yet had my fill of you.” His gaze dropped closer, dilated pupils fixating upon your spent nether parts. “I have been famished lately. I could drink you alive."

Dawn was beginning to break and the darkness was no longer as deep. You saw Alucard grinning. It was an unholy, devious smirk. He dove back into your legs with the polite request for you to provide more sustenance, lest he have to remain for the day to sate himself fully. 

"You may have opened Pandora's box. I will never be denied this exquisiteness again."

It turned out that Alucard did not need trinkets such as silver piercings. His tongue alone got him many places with you.

~To Be Continued~

Chapter 12: The Feeling of Safety

-------------------- Notes: Teehee. The Reader doesn’t know it, but what she sees as Alucard being creepy and watching her, from Alucard’s perspective is him watching over her while she sleeps. She is one of his priorities. The idea for this Interlude was at the back of my mind for awhile. As someone who has periods, I felt like this biological function is something that should be addressed since our beau is a vampire. I found this chapter pretty difficult to write. Some parts of the smut came easily enough, but everything else…I was just stuck. I hope you enjoy the results though. RIP bed. I am super excited for the next chapter!