Hoseok Romance - Tumblr Posts
Daffodil - Preview
Author D.
Pairing Jungkook / Reader (female) ; Hoseok / Reader (female)
Genre Med AU | Romance | Angst | Fluff
Warning Mentions of cheating
Release March 8, 2021
Summary “I can’t explain what I’m feeling, Ash.” Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “It’s totally stupid, I know. Completely foolish. Definitely useless. I’m with the most perfect guy, literally the most perfect guy in the whole world. He’s sweet, smart, funny and attentive. He makes me feel loved, he makes sure I don’t need for anything. He’s the perfect man to build a family and grew old with. I know I love him, I never doubted it, not even once. But when I’m with him ... I feel this thing. It’s like a pull, yes, like there’s a magnet between us. He just does something to me, he messes with my head. And I’ve been trying to fight it but it’s so ... I swear if I wasn’t with someone else I would have already jumped him. Oh my god, what did I just say! Oh my God. This is so stupid. I’m a terrible person. This is our secret, okay? Promise me to not tell Namjoon! Shit, never tell my brother either!”
A/N This is a continuation of Snapdragon, it is strongly recommended to read it first!
©️ dfdph, 2021 - All rights reserved. Reposting or translating onto other sites is NOT allowed.
Daffodil - Sneak Peek
Author D.
Pairing Jungkook / Reader (female) ; Hoseok / Reader (female)
Genre Med AU | Romance | Angst | Fluff
Warning Mentions of cheating
Release March 9, 2021
Summary “I can’t explain what I’m feeling, Ash.” Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “It’s totally stupid, I know. Completely foolish. Definitely useless. I’m with the most perfect guy, literally the most perfect guy in the whole world. He’s sweet, smart, funny and attentive. He makes me feel loved, he makes sure I don’t need for anything. He’s the perfect man to build a family and grew old with. I know I love him, I never doubted it, not even once. But when I’m with him ... I feel this thing. It’s like a pull, yes, like there’s a magnet between us. He just does something to me, he messes with my head. And I’ve been trying to fight it but it’s so ... I swear if I wasn’t with someone else I would have already jumped him. Oh my god, what did I just say! Oh my God. This is so stupid. I’m a terrible person. This is our secret, okay? Promise me to not tell Namjoon! Shit, never tell my brother either!”
Disclaimer English is not my first language, you might find a couple of mistakes here and there.
A/N This is a continuation of Snapdragon, it is strongly recommended to read it first! I’m postponing for the last time, I swear! Since I’m terrible at following my own time table, here’s a little sneak peek to make up for my delay. See you tomorrow!
©️ dfdph, 2021 - all rights reserved. Reposting or translating onto other sites is NOT allowed.
[...]
To keep herself occupied, Y/N decided to bring her new sketchbook and pencils to her new favorite coffee shop down the street. She discovered it during one of her runs and fell in love with it. It was small but cozy, with wooden furniture, lots of plants and delicious chocolate muffins.
Drawing was one of those hobbies she had lost during Med School and rediscovered during this period of vacation. Since she lost practice, she wasn’t as good as she was before and wasn’t as satisfied with her portraits as she used to, crumpling and wasting more paper than she cared to admit.
Today’s subject was a little boy, peacefully doing his homework with his legs dangling under the table, his mother next to him reading a heavy looking book while sipping a cup of something smoking hot. He was just too cute to ignore. She was just sketching his left eye when she suddenly heard a male voice calling her name.
“Y/N? Is that you?”
She looked up at the sound. It took her a second to recognize the man standing next to her. He had changed over the years, looking more mature. He was wearing glasses now, a pair that made him look alluring, a vibe enhanced by his attire: black turtleneck, black trousers and black chelsea boots.
“Yoongi?” Y/N exclaimed standing up. She gave him a quick instinctive hug, her body moving on its own accord. The man didn’t seem to mind, embracing her back with the same amount of affection. She couldn’t help but being surprised of seeing him. What were the chances of meeting someone you haven’t talked to for years in such a big city?
“How are you?” the man sincerely smiled down to her. He too looked genuinely happy to see her. “It’s been ages since we last saw each other.”
“My graduation.” she nodded sitting back down. “I’m fine, great actually. How about you? Hey,” she added shyly, not waiting for an answer. “Why don’t you seat with me. We could catch up.”
“Actually,” Yoongi responded tentatively. “I’m meeting with the guys. Do you mind if they join us? I bet they would be happy to see you.”
“By the guys, you mean the guys? You’re still in touch with each other?”
Yoongi smirked sitting down on the chair in front of her and ordering an ice americano to a passing by waiter. “Of course we are. We’re brothers, you know?”
Y/N smiled fondly in response. “Right.” They really were brothers. Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook were inseparable even back then. For a period of time Y/N was part of that family too. She felt nostalgic all of a sudden. “How are they? How are they doing?”
“They’re doing great. Jimin and Taehyung work for the same magazine and are still as annoying as ever.” he smirked. “I’m still working in that research laboratory from years ago, remember? The one that hired me straight out of college.”
“What about Jungkook?” Y/N asked. “Did he get into Med School?”
“He did, actually. He’s going to start his residency this summer.” he answered. “How about you? Are you still focused on becoming the greatest heart surgeon of the country?”
“You remember that?” Y/N giggled, recognizing her old catch phrase. “Of course I am. I’m starting my residency this summer too.”
“Really? In the city? In what hospital? You and Jungkook might go to the same one.”
Before she could answer his question, Y/N heard her name being called once again, this time by two loud men. Jimin and Taehyung walked up to them with complete surprise printed on their faces. The last thing they expected to see that morning was their long-time friend sitting next to such a familiar face.
Just like Yoongi, the two boys had changed quite a lot over four years. If possible, they became even more handsome. Taehyung had longer hair now, dark wavy locks falling over his eyes, giving him some kind of gloomy and mysterious vibe. He seemed broader too, his shoulders wider than she remembered. His fashion style had changed too, going from college heartthrob to company executive. Jimin had gone blonde, a color that suited him very well, in a manner that made him look ethereal like a prince. He looked like he walked straight from a fashion shoot, wearing luxurious looking shoes and sunglasses and standing there with all of his confident aura.
Y/N didn’t need to look around to know that their presence had captured the attention of everyone inside the shop and she found herself smiling.
Just like the old days.
“Jimin, Taehyung.” she saluted them with a hug as well. She wasn’t sure if it was to be considered awkward greeting someone she hadn’t seen for years like that, but she did it nonetheless. “Long time no see.”
“No kidding!” the blonde said, grabbing a chair from the next table to join them. Taehyung followed him suit. “Are you back in town?”
Y/N nodded. “I was just saying to Yoongi that I’m going to take my residency here.”
“In that big ass hospital a few minutes from here?” Jimin asked.
“Yeah, that.”
“Jungkook also got accepted there.” Taehyung said before furrowing his brows. “That might be awkward.” He added before he could stop himself.
Y/N shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t think so. It’s all water under the bridge. I mean, it was a long time ago.” she answered sincerely. All her feelings for him had vanished years ago. Truth be told, their memories together had become blurry too, a little bit romanticized even. Those few times she inevitably found herself thinking about him over the past few weeks was with fondness and a little bit of regret, but nothing more.
Yoongi sighed. “About that.” he exchanged a furtive look with the others. “We never had the chance to clear things out. I’m not sure this is the right time or place since we just met each other again, but the thing is -”
The woman put a hand up interrupting him. “There’s no need, Yoongi. Sarah explained everything to me a couple of months after graduation.”
The boys stared at her with a mixture of surprise and confusion.
“Sarah? That Sarah?” Taehyung clarified.
Y/N nodded. “That Sarah. She sent me a message after she learned about me and Jungkook.” She remembered how unexpected it had been, much like a bolt from the blue. Just when all thoughts of him had finally disappeared, after weeks of anger and pain, everything she believed he did turned out to be a total misunderstanding. It gave her quite a whiplash.
“Then, if you knew what really happened, why didn’t you contact us?” Jimin asked with a pout, half teasing and half serious. “We tried reaching out to you a lot of times but ...”
“Don’t try making her feel guilty, Jimin.” Yoongi rolled his eyes at the ceiling.
“No, he’s right.” the girl sighed playing with the teaspoon of her hot chocolate. After leaving their frat house that morning, the three boys had tried speaking to her for weeks, calling her, waiting for her after her classes and even coming to her apartment. But she never gave them a chance, too hurt to be able to separate her feelings towards Jungkook from those for the three of them. “I should have called you.” she admitted. “It’s just that ... I don’t know. I thought it was futile, too much time had passed. We all moved on with our lives by then.”
The guys exchanged a quick knowing look, a little sad.
“I am sorry.” she said finally, looking up. “I guess it was immature of me.”
[...]
Daffodil
Author D.
Pairing Jungkook / Reader (female)
Genre Med AU | Romance | Angst | Fluff
Warning Mentions of cheating
Word count 21k
Summary “I can’t explain what I’m feeling, Ash.” Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “It’s totally stupid, I know. Completely foolish. Definitely useless. I’m with the most perfect guy, literally the most perfect guy in the whole world. He’s sweet, smart, funny and attentive. He makes me feel loved, he makes sure I don’t need for anything. He’s the perfect man to build a family and grew old with. I know I love him, I never doubted it, not even once. But when I’m with him ... I feel this thing. It’s like a pull, yes, like there’s a magnet between us. He just does something to me, he messes with my head. And I’ve been trying to fight it but it’s so ... I swear if I wasn’t with someone else I would have already jumped him. Oh my god, what did I just say! Oh my God. This is so stupid. I’m a terrible person. This is our secret, okay? Promise me to not tell Namjoon! Shit, never tell my brother either!”
Disclaimer English is not my first language and I might be a little out of practice.
A/N This is a continuation of Snapdragon, it is strongly recommended to read it first! I made good use of my Grey’s Anatomy knowledge. This is yet to be proof read. To be edited.
Freesia (drabble)
©️ dfdph, 2021 - all rights reserved. Reposting or translating onto other sites is NOT allowed.
Part 1
Mar. - June
The cup of coffee had run cold in her hands, untouched. She had been staring at it for quite a while now, lost in her chaotic thoughts, trying unsuccessfully to calm down her breathing. She was well aware of the fact that her hands had never sweat that much in her life and that her lower lip was a another bite away from bleeding.
Y/N had never been this anxious before, not even the day she waited for the acceptance notice from her Med School of choice. Maybe that was it. Choice. She didn’t have any this time. Her future was in the hands of an algorithm.
She had spent last night tossing around in her bed, thinking. The fact that she couldn’t control in any way the results of the Match drove her crazy. Yes, she did submit a rank list and yes, she did aced both her Medical Licensing Examinations and yes, she was top of the class of one of the best Medical programs of the country. But this time she was not sure that was going to be enough.
Residency programs were highly competitive, especially those of general surgery. The best teaching hospitals only took a bunch of interns every year and obviously everyone wanted to get in their first choice. Unfortunately, that wasn’t always the case. Once the algorithm had decided your destination, that was it, there was no changing it. You could either accept it or take a year off and try again.
The uncertainty scared Y/N to no end. Since she was a teenager she had had her future planned perfectly. It was a detailed seven-steps-plan that she swore with her life to follow rigorously. First, graduate high school with the highest GPA and do some volunteering in the big public clinic in her neighborhood. Second, get into the best college and get a Major in Biology. Third, ace the Medical College Admission Test. Four, get into the best Med School of the country. Five, attend Med School and pass all the Boards top of the class. Six, get into the best general surgery residency program and complete it. Seven, finish fellowship in Cardio-thoracics.
Steps one to five weren’t too difficult to achieve. Y/N wasn’t presumptuous - not too much anyways -, but she was one to work hard to reach her goals, whatever they may be. Always independent and maybe a little bit too proud, Y/N was confident in saying that she got where she were all by herself. She liked having control over her life, so this time, for step number six of her plan, it was only normal that she was a bit more anxious than usual.
She dreaded the Match Day. What if she wasn’t accepted into her first choice? If she wanted to become a great heart surgeon she needed to get into the best surgery program. Of course, she knew that getting into any program was something to be happy about - but who was she kidding, the best was the best for a reason. And she wanted it.
She had been working hard since she was fourteen. Fast forward 12 years and she was now 26 years old, two steps away from finally achieving her dream.
This was it.
It was customary to attend a big party during Match Day, one where all the aspiring residents would open their envelopes all together to share their destiny, good or bad. It wasn’t Y/N’s type of thing. She invited only the closest to her, all now sitting in her small living room. Her brother Seokjin had taken a few days off from work and had flew miles to be with her on this special day. He wished, just as much as Y/N did, that she would be assigned to the teaching hospital of her choice, not only because it had the best surgery program but also because it was the very same hospital he was working in as a nurse. He couldn’t wait to finally have her little sister back home and to call her his colleague.
Sitting next to Seokjin was Namjoon, her forever best friend. Even if the two of them parted ways after college - the man choosing to stay in order to earn a Master in Diplomacy and International Relations - they continuously stayed in contact through the years, as if they lived only a few minutes apart. It was clear that their bond was unbreakable. Any excuse was good enough to go and visit his best friend and today wasn’t an exception. Just like Seokjin, Namjoon gladly took a few days off from his job as a Foreign Affairs Specialist on the making and brought with him his longtime girlfriend Ashley.
Over the years the two girls had built a strong bond, to the point that they called each other the best of friends. Of course, Namjoon loved the fact that the two most important women in his life were so close. Ashley was the best girl friend Y/N ever had - she always preferred hanging out with men. Girls were typically over competitive about even the smallest and shallowest of things, a trait that Y/N didn’t appreciate because - well, she already was the most competitive person she knew, and she was more than enough. Ashley, on the other hand, was anything but. She somehow lived in her own world made of flowers and trees, bringing the carelessness that sometimes Y/N unfortunately lacked of.
Beside her was Y/N’s boyfriend of two years, Hoseok. The two of them had known each other since college, him being a waiter in Y/N’s favorite coffee shop, but weren’t actually that close. After graduation, just as simple acquaintances do, they parted ways and never talked to each other again. Until two years later, after accepting a job offer as a choreographer for a big dancing school, Hoseok moved in the apartment next to Y/N’s. The transition was easy after that: a couple of drinks reminiscing about the past and a couple of dates talking about the future.
Y/N found in Hoseok the perfect boyfriend, so perfect, in fact, that sometimes she found herself thinking that he was especially crafted for her. He was just as ambitious and hard working as her, so they often found themselves encouraging each other. He knew how to lift the over bearing pressure over her shoulders and she was the inspiration in his everyday life. As a couple, they had a lot of fun, sometimes by going to crafty original dates and sometimes just by dancing around in their now shared living room.
When the time to send the applications for the Resident Matching Program came, Y/N found herself surprisingly hesitant because winning an internship meant that she would likely had to move across the country. She didn’t doubt for a second that following her dreams was the right thing to do, it was still her first priority, but she knew that it was a choice that would bring a strain to their perfect relationship. Yet Hoseok once again didn’t disappoint her.
The evening that they sat on the couch together to talk about it, the man stayed silent for a moment before releasing a long breath. He hugged her close and reassured her, saying that they both knew that this moment was going to come, that he would never ask her to stay for something as trivial as distance and that she had worked too hard to get where she was to second guess. Even if it was going to be difficult he was going to support her no matter what, even if it meant that he had to quit his job and move across the country with her. A part of Y/N knew it was egoistical of her to find comfort in his words, but nevertheless felt reassured that they were on the same page as always.
So the plan was this: Y/N would move wherever she had to, in time for the beginning of her training in July, and Hoseok would follow her in June, once the project he was working on was completed. They knew they could bear a few months apart and jokingly took it as a chance to test their love.
Hoseok knew very well how important this moment was for Y/N. Since they were in college she was famous for being the perfect student, the valedictorian of their year. He knew how hard she worked for this very day and he also knew how scared she was of not being matched to her dream surgery program. He knew that she wasn’t able to sleep last night, he felt her tossing around beside him, lost in her thoughts. He didn’t try to comfort her though because he knew it wasn’t what she needed and that it would only worsen her anxiety.
The signs of her distress was clear all over her body, everyone from the couch could see them. She was still staring at her coffee cup, biting away over her lip. She was pale and even the make up she had put on for the occasion couldn’t hide the dark circles under her eyes. The computer was all set up in front of her on the coffee table, her inbox page ready to be refreshed for the special email.
“Am I the only one who doesn’t understand why she’s so anxious?”, Seokjin murmured in Namjoon’s ear. “She’s literally the smartest person on this planet.”
“I know, right?”, the other boy murmured back. “As if she ever failed anything in her life.”
“Yeah. Do you know how annoying that is? I’m stuck with being the handsome and funny one in the family.” Y/N’s brother sighed dramatically making the others laugh.
“Now that I’m thinking about it, I actually did never saw her fail in anything. Not once.”, Namjoon huffed. “You’re right, she’s gonna get what she wants this time as well.”
“No doubt.”, Ashley nodded.
“Come on, guys.”, Hoseok said under his breath, trying to hide a smile. “She’s human too.”
“Are you sure?”, the three of them responded all together, louder than they meant to.
Y/N jumped from her place on the armchair, startled by the sound. “What?”, she asked looking up.
“Nothing, sis. We were just talking about how unnecessarily anxious you are.”
“Jin!”
“Come on, Ash. You were with us just a second ago. She’s gonna get in and we all know it.”
Y/N gasped. “Oh my god! I swear if you just jinxed it I’m going to kill you.”
“As if.”
Y/N sighed and run her hands through her hair. “I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Seriously.”
Hoseok walked up to stand beside her and put an arm around her shoulders reassuringly. “Babe, what we’re saying is that you’re so brilliant that it is statistically impossible for you to not be matched to your first choice. You have nothing to worry about.”
“You guys are really jinxing it.” she cried leaning against her boyfriend. The man hugged her closer.
“Listen, Y/N.” Seokjin sighed as theatrical as always. “No one was surprised when you got a scholarship for three of the best colleges of the country. No one was surprised when you entered Med School either. And no one is going to be surprised this time as well. I’m telling you ... if you don’t get that internship at that goddamn hospital I am going to pierce my tongue!”
The woman giggled, successfully distracted. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“That you do.”
“Anyways, guys.” Ashley exclaimed. “It’s almost time!”
Y/N looked down at her wrist watch: 11.58 a.m. Ashley was right, two more minutes and her future was going to begin. She actually said that same phrase at least three other times in her life and also meant it , but this one was different. Her residency would define the surgeon she was going to be and to be the best surgeon, she needed to match with the best program.
She felt her heartbeat fasten once again and before she knew it she started clicking on the refresh button aggressively.
11.59. Nothing yet.
She was really going to have a heart attack at 26. Which, now that she thought about it, was very ironic since she wanted to become a Cardio-thoracic surgeon.
12.00. One last refresh. The others leant forward, ready to capture every change in her expression. Ready to celebrate.
There was it, punctual as predicted. With a trembling finger Y/N clicked on the link, holding her breath.
Hoseok was the first one to react. He smiled widely just a few seconds after the page opened. It wasn’t easy to miss it, really: it was written in bold black letters. Y/N, on the other hand, had to read the sentence at least ten times before believing it.
“Oh my god.”, she gasped.
“Come on, guys. On my three let’s all act surprised!”
“Remember to call me when you get there.” Hoseok said, squeezing his girlfriend in his arms. This was more difficult that the both of them thought it would be.
They were standing a few meters away from the airport security gates, saying their goodbyes before Y/N’s flight. Three weeks had passed since Y/N discovered she was accepted to her dream job. She was ecstatic, of course. Everything she ever wanted was coming true. Plus, after four years away she finally got to go back home, even if it meant living with her annoying brother again. She couldn’t wait to practice real medicine on real patients with real pathologies. She could finally start calling herself a doctor. Doctor Y/L/N. She loved the sound of that.
Of course, the downside of it all was that she had to leave Hoseok behind. Even if it was only for a couple of months. Knowing that this moment was bound to arrive didn’t make it any easier.
“I’m going to miss you so much.” she murmured in his chest, inhaling deeply. She was going to miss his smell, so particular - it was what she thought the sun would smell like, mixed with a little bit of vanilla. She was going to miss how his hugs would engulf her and make her feel safe, or the way he laughed, his boisterous laugh. Jung Hoseok was the only one who could make her stop from continuously running. He brought peace in her overworking mind.
“I’m going to miss you too.” he sighed kissing her forehead. “But we are going to get through this. I’m going to call you every hour ‘til you get tired of me.”
Y/N smiled. “If you do call me every hour I will get tired of you.”, she looked up to his eyes, her chin resting on his chest. “A call every five hours should do it.”
“Every five hours? That sounds outrageous.”
“Doctors are very busy, don’t you know that?”
Hoseok smiled sweetly down at her. “Doctor.”, he repeated proudly. “My girlfriend is a doctor. How cool is that?”
“Super cool.” Y/N giggled.
The man sighed one more time, turning serious once again. He leaned to give her a slow but deep kiss, trying to convey all his emotions. “I love you.”, he was usually the shiest of the pair in voicing his emotions, but this time there was no holding back.
Y/N felt a single tear running down her cheek. “I love you too.”
“Don’t you feel like we’re two overdramatic teenagers?”
The woman giggled giving him a cheesy peck on the lips. “Who cares.”
Moving back with her brother was just as annoying as she predicted it was going to be. She loved him to bits, really, but after four years she forgot how exasperating Seokjin could be.
He still lived in the same apartment as years ago, the one near her college, but he had completely taken over it, as it was expected. It became the definition of a man cave, complete with unironed sheets and expired milk bottles. His excuse was the lack of time and energy caused by his agonizing long shifts at the hospital, to which Y/N often responded that it was only an excuse and what he really needed was a partner in his life. The bright side was that he was still the great cook she remembered he was.
With the move Y/N rediscovered her old habits. For starters she began going on frequent jogs again, something she had stopped doing because it turned out that Med School was much more demanding and draining than college. The neighborhood park was as beautiful as she remembered, especially with the spring colors. And it was during one of those morning runs that she bumped into her old Physiology teacher, Professor Lee, the one she used to TA for. She was extremely fond of him. He was the most feared teacher of their major, the most strict and hated of them all. But he was actually quite pleasant with Y/N, he was the one who wrote the greatest recommendation letter she could hope for, the one that most probably got her into Med School. They caught up on their lives over a cup of americano in her favorite coffee shop, the very one near the big fountain in their college square.
That was a nice trip to memory lane too. For instance, that was the place where she met Hoseok for the very first time. But aside from him, the place did hold a lot of memories. Most of them very happy too. And most of them involved a group of loud boys.
For the first time since forever she found herself thinking about them, wondering how they were doing. They shared a lot of time together during senior year, they were practically inseparable. It was unfortunate that they parted ways in such an unfriendly manner.
Discovering that her boyfriend of the time, the one she thought had cheated on her, the one she hated like no one else, was actually a good man ... well, it didn’t do any good to her conscience. She thought about reaching out to him, to clear things up and give their relationship the conclusion it deserved. But too much time had passed and she didn’t find it in her to open old wounds. For all she knew he moved on with his life. The truth was, she was just too proud.
It burdened her for quite some time, until it didn’t anymore.
She smiled thinking about it now, because what felt like the biggest heartbreak of her life was actually just a few months fling. Insignificant compared to what she had with Hoseok.
“I found this great apartment ten minutes from the hospital.” she was just telling him over the phone. “It’s a little bit small but it has all we need. It’s freshly renovated and the shower is quite big.”
“We do love a big shower.”
“We do.”, Y/N nodded stealing a potato chip from her brother who was scrolling through the Netflix page for their movie night. “I also did some research and there’s this dance school just a couple blocks away. It’s nothing like the one you are working in now but it looked nice.”
“Nice is good, I suppose.”, Hoseok giggled. “I can work with nice.”
“If they hire you you can make them great. No, Jin. Not The Hangover again. Let’s watch something serious for once.”
“Serious is annoying. And we already have you for that.” Seokjin responded pointedly.
“Shut up. Hobi, I’m telling you, I can’t wait for you to get here so I can finally get rid of my obnoxious brother.”
Since her training wasn’t going to start ‘til July, Y/N had a lot of time in her hands. Months of it. It was nice the very first weeks but it soon got boring. She settled all there was to be settled and now she didn’t know what to do with herself. She was beginning to feel restless, she wasn’t used to having so much free time. She started second guessing her decision to move so many months prior the beginning of the program. Other than apartment hunting and settling those couple of other boring things, she discovered that there really was no need to leave this early. She could be with her boyfriend now.
Hoseok, on the other hand, was busier than ever. His crew was hired to dance in a music video of a pop singer, which was supposedly a big thing, something that would open him - the main dancer and the choreographer - a lot of doors in the industry. So over the past month all he ever did was work in the dance studio, to the point that he almost lived there and he was so busy and tired that their daily calls got shorter and shorter. Not that Y/N blamed him, she was happy for this opportunity. If anything it lifted a heavy burden from her shoulders. The truth was she felt guilty for putting her dreams before his, for forcing him to leave everything to follow her. He never blamed her for it, of course. He never showed an ounce of hesitation.
To keep herself occupied, Y/N decided to bring her new sketchbook and pencils to her new favorite coffee shop down the street. She discovered it during one of her runs and fell in love with it. It was small but cozy, with wooden furniture, lots of plants and delicious chocolate muffins.
Drawing was one of those hobbies she had lost during Med School and rediscovered during this period of vacation. Since she lost practice, she wasn’t as good as she was before and wasn’t as satisfied with her portraits as she used to, crumpling and wasting more paper than she cared to admit.
Today’s subject was a little boy, peacefully doing his homework with his legs dangling under the table, his mother next to him reading a heavy looking book while sipping a cup of something smoking hot. He was just too cute to ignore. She was just sketching his left eye when she suddenly heard a male voice calling her name.
“Y/N? Is that you?”
She looked up at the sound. It took her a second to recognize the man standing next to her. He had changed over the years, looking more mature. He was wearing glasses now, a pair that made him look alluring, a vibe enhanced by his attire: black turtleneck, black trousers and black chelsea boots.
“Yoongi?” Y/N exclaimed standing up. She gave him a quick instinctive hug, her body moving on its own accord. The man didn’t seem to mind, embracing her back with the same amount of affection. She couldn’t help but being surprised of seeing him. What were the chances of meeting someone you haven’t talked to for years in such a big city?
“How are you?” the man sincerely smiled down to her. He too looked genuinely happy to see her. “It’s been ages since we last saw each other.”
“My graduation.” she nodded sitting back down. “I’m fine, great actually. How about you? Hey,” she added shyly, not waiting for an answer. “Why don’t you seat with me. We could catch up.”
“Actually,” Yoongi responded tentatively. “I’m meeting with the guys. Do you mind if they join us? I bet they would be happy to see you.”
“By the guys, you mean the guys? You’re still in touch with each other?”
Yoongi smirked sitting down on the chair in front of her and ordering an ice americano to a passing by waiter. “Of course we are. We’re brothers, you know?”
Y/N smiled fondly in response. “Right.” They really were brothers. Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook were inseparable even back then. For a period of time Y/N was part of that family too. She felt nostalgic all of a sudden. “How are they? How are they doing?”
“They’re doing great. Jimin and Taehyung work for the same magazine and are still as annoying as ever.” he smirked. “I’m still working in that research laboratory from years ago, remember? The one that hired me straight out of college.”
“What about Jungkook?” Y/N asked. “Did he get into Med School?”
“He did, actually. He’s going to start his residency this summer.” he answered. “How about you? Are you still focused on becoming the greatest heart surgeon of the country?”
“You remember that?” Y/N giggled, recognizing her old catch phrase. “Of course I am. I’m starting my residency this summer too.”
“Really? In the city? In what hospital? You and Jungkook might go to the same one.”
Before she could answer his question, Y/N heard her name being called once again, this time by two loud men. Jimin and Taehyung walked up to them with complete surprise printed on their faces. The last thing they expected to see that morning was their long-time friend sitting next to such a familiar face.
Just like Yoongi, the two boys had changed quite a lot over four years. If possible, they became even more handsome. Taehyung had longer hair now, dark wavy locks falling over his eyes, giving him some kind of gloomy and mysterious vibe. He seemed broader too, his shoulders wider than she remembered. His fashion style had changed too, going from college heartthrob to company executive. Jimin had gone blonde, a color that suited him very well, in a manner that made him look ethereal like a prince. He looked like he walked straight from a fashion shoot, wearing luxurious looking shoes and sunglasses and standing there with all of his confident aura.
Y/N didn’t need to look around to know that their presence had captured the attention of everyone inside the shop and she found herself smiling.
Just like the old days.
“Jimin, Taehyung.” she saluted them with a hug as well. She wasn’t sure if it was to be considered awkward greeting someone she hadn’t seen for years like that, but she did it nonetheless. “Long time no see.”
“No kidding!” the blonde said, grabbing a chair from the next table to join them. Taehyung followed him suit. “Are you back in town?”
Y/N nodded. “I was just saying to Yoongi that I’m going to take my residency here.”
“In that big ass hospital a few minutes from here?” Jimin asked.
“Yeah, that.”
“Jungkook also got accepted there.” Taehyung said before furrowing his brows. “That might be awkward.” He added before he could stop himself.
Y/N shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t think so. It’s all water under the bridge. I mean, it was a long time ago.” she answered sincerely. All her feelings for him had vanished years ago. Truth be told, their memories together had become blurry too, a little bit romanticized even. Those few times she inevitably found herself thinking about him over the past few weeks was with fondness and a little bit of regret, but nothing more.
Yoongi sighed. “About that.” he exchanged a furtive look with the others. “We never had the chance to clear things out. I’m not sure this is the right time or place since we just met each other again, but the thing is -”
The woman put a hand up interrupting him. “There’s no need, Yoongi. Sarah explained everything to me a couple of months after graduation.”
The boys stared at her with a mixture of surprise and confusion.
“Sarah? That Sarah?” Taehyung clarified.
Y/N nodded. “That Sarah. She sent me a message after she learned about me and Jungkook.” She remembered how unexpected it had been, much like a bolt from the blue. Just when all thoughts of him had finally disappeared, after weeks of anger and pain, everything she believed he did turned out to be a total misunderstanding. It gave her quite a whiplash.
“Then, if you knew what really happened, why didn’t you contact us?” Jimin asked with a pout, half teasing and half serious. “We tried reaching out to you a lot of times but ...”
“Don’t try making her feel guilty, Jimin.” Yoongi rolled his eyes at the ceiling.
“No, he’s right.” the girl sighed playing with the teaspoon of her hot chocolate. After leaving their frat house that morning, the three boys had tried speaking to her for weeks, calling her, waiting for her after her classes and even coming to her apartment. But she never gave them a chance, too hurt to be able to separate her feelings towards Jungkook from those for the three of them. “I should have called you.” she admitted. “It’s just that ... I don’t know. I thought it was futile, too much time had passed. We all moved on with our lives by then.”
The guys exchanged a quick knowing look, a little sad.
“I am sorry.” she said finally, looking up. “I guess it was immature of me.”
“We get it.”, Yoongi reassured her with a smile. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you.”
“Anyways,”, Taehyung clapped. “What’s done is done, we can all be friends again now.”
So they spent the next hour talking and laughing, catching up about their lives and awakening their old friendship while waiting for Jungkook, who was running late. It was simple to fall at ease with each other and Y/N was grateful too see that there was no awkwardness between them. More than what happened with Jungkook, she regretted cutting ties with them the most. Maybe it was strange, they barely spent together half a year, but she really was fond of them. What she loved the most about them was how easily they could make her laugh. She never admitted it out loud, but with all the stress that came with senior year their company became her only escape from reality.
“So tell us, Y/N.”, Jimin said with a teasing tone. “How’s your love life going?”
She shook her head amused. “Still a gossiper I see.”
“Come on, its been four years since you broke up with Jungkook. You said it yourself, all water under the bridge. No hard feelings here. I wanna know the juicy stuff.”
Y/N laughed. “Fine. I’ve been in a relationship for two years. You might remember him actually. Hoseok? From college?”
“Hoseok?”, Taehyung repeated. “The waiter from our coffee shop?”
Y/N nodded.
“Wow.”, Jimin exhaled. “Isn’t he the one who spilled the beans about Jungkook and Sarah?”
“Jimin.”, Yoongi admonished him once again.
“What? It’s a fact! It’s not like I’m accusing him or anything.”, the other snorted. “I liked the guy.”
“Is it weird?”, Y/N asked sincerely curious. “Not that it matters, but do you think Jungkook will find it weird?”
“Found what weird?”, asked a voice making Y/N jump on her seat for the third time that morning. “Y/N.”, he breathed. “I thought it was you.”
If the other guys changed, Jungkook went through a complete evolution. He was already something before, but this ... this was another thing altogether. Just like Taehyung, he had grown his hair longer and got a lot more muscular, he also got both of his ears pierced, more than a couple of silver rings adorning them. He had a black leather jacket over a black shirt, a couple of buttons undone showing maybe a little bit too much of his chest. His jaw was as sharp as ever and his eyes shone with a mischievous light.
She would never admit it but her heart did skip a bit.
“Jungkook.”
Meeting Jungkook again went more bizarrely than what she expected. She had to admit that she did thought about it more than once, years ago, fantasized even. She thought about what she would say to him, what he would say to her. She imagined them getting back together, or parting ways once again. She thought about saying sorry to him for not giving him the benefit of the doubt. And then she stopped thinking about it altogether.
But seeing him again that day ... well, it was weird. The fact that he looked completely different from what she remembered was stupidly surprising. Whenever he popped into her mind she imagined the old Jungkook, frozen in time, not this. Back in college he already was handsome and charismatic, the very good looking and talented quarterback that everybody loved and admired. But this was a whole other level of ridiculous. And Y/N was only human, she didn’t even had the time to control her thoughts before it was too late.
He was sexy as hell.
So she felt somehow uneasy, despite what she had said just minutes ago about things being in the past. Plus, to make the situation even weirder, the fact that they ended things the way that they did made the both of them act like two awkward teenagers.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“How are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you. How about you?”
“I’m fine, too.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah.”
The other boys watched the scene with amusement. It was only predictable that two exes meeting again after a long time would act that way. None of them expected hugs and kisses, of course.
“Sorry I’m late, guys.”, Jungkook finally said, looking away from Y/N and sitting on the empty chair they saved for him. They were getting a little too crowded around the table which was originally meant for two people, but none of them made a move.
“No problem.”, responded Jimin. “Y/N here was keeping us great company. Where were you anyways?”
“Uhm.”, Jungkook mumbled scratching his neck, clearly embarrassed. “Lisa’s car broke down so I had to pick her up.”
Y/N felt uneasy, the sole reason being that he looked in discomfort as well. She could only imagine that Lisa was his girlfriend.
“Is she okay?”, Taehyung asked.
“Yeah, she was just running late for work so she asked me to accompany her.”
There was a moment of silence where Taehyung, Jimin and Yoongi watched as the other two avoided looking at each other.
Y/N had no memory of Jungkook being timid, if anything he was one of the most confident person she knew. Now that she thought about it, they often bickered over their respective cockiness. She sighed, gathering some courage to speak.
This is ridiculous. We broke up ages ago.
“The guys told me that you’re starting your residency this summer.”, she said at the end. Someone had to act maturely.
“Oh yeah. This July.”, he answered, looking happy that she had taken the first step. “How about you? Are you back in town?”
“Yeah. We’re going to be colleagues, actually.”, she said tentatively watching his reaction.
He smiled lightly at her, unsurprised. “I was sure we would be.”, he admitted catching Y/N and the others by surprise.
“You were?”, she exclaimed.
“You always aimed for the best.”, he smirked knowingly, finally resembling the smug boy she remembered.
Y/N was brought back to four years ago, when they used to study together between their busy schedules aiming for the same goal, when they used to spur each other in the moments of doubt. She finally remembered.
He was proud, he didn’t like asking for her help unless it was strictly necessary, and those times he caved he would later reprimand himself for not being able to understand the concept on his own, always thanking her with a kiss because he wasn’t competing against her but with himself. There were times when she was so tired that she would get pessimistic and cynical, it was a trait of her personality that only few people knew because she didn’t like being seen weak. Jungkook was always there when those moments came, he could tell just by the way she would start scribbling angry lines on the side of her notes. He didn’t try talking her out of it saying things like ‘you have no reason to worry’ or ‘you can do it”, because he knew that they were meaningless words. What he did was make her hot chocolate with a lot of cream and a lot of marshmallows, he would sit on the couch and cradle her like a baby, humming the first song that came to mind. Y/N loved it, it made her feel all warm inside. Jungkook knew all of her struggles, he knew how hard she worked for what she wanted and how more often than not she was close to giving up. And he had been there for her.
Y/N smiled back. “That I still do.”
And just like that the ice was broken.
It came naturally. That day at the coffee shop was only the beginning of their renewed friendship. A couple of days after that they went for drinks, joined by Namjoon and Ashley, restoring the old group. It was like senior year all over again, but at the same time it was nothing like it. All of them had changed over the years, some more than others. Jungkook, for example, had become quieter, more tranquil. He still made silly jokes and smart remarks, sure, but not as much as Y/N remembered. She guessed it was only right, she had probably changed too.
After the initial embarrassment, the two connected easily and Y/N discovered that she quite liked the idea of them being friends again. She had to admit that just for a second she wondered if it was wrong of her to hang out with him again, giving that he was her ex boyfriend and she was now with someone else. But she convinced herself rather easily that she wasn’t doing anything bad, after all ignoring him would have meant that there were still some kind of feelings lingering between them and that was not the case. She talked to Hoseok about it nonetheless, not because she wanted his permission but out of respect. He did seemed a bit jealous about it but was mature enough to know that it was not right of him to stop her.
Besides, Jungkook was with someone as well. She learned about Lisa, his girlfriend of over a year who he had met while jogging at the park - Y/N teased him about it, since that their relationship had started in the same way. And when they discovered that both Lisa and Hoseok were professional dancers, they both had a field day. Y/N also learned that he didn’t want to become a pediatric surgeon anymore, but changed his goal to trauma surgery, surprising her quite a lot. Jungkook then told her how he had received an offer to play in the NFL just a couple of days after they broke up but ended up turning it down, living Y/N with an uneasy feeling. It gave them an excuse to finally talk about what happened between them.
“Was it my fault?” she asked seriously, looking down at her drink.
“Of course not.” he reassured her. “It was never my dream.”
“I know.” she replied looking back up at him. They were leaning against the wall, getting some fresh air while the others where inside the bar doing drinking games in honor of their reunion. “Still, it was a big opportunity.”
“Huge.” Jungkook corrected her with a smile. “I could have been worth millions now.”
“And living in an expensive loft, driving expensive cars.” she joked back.
“Instead I’m sharing a small apartment with Yoongi hyung and driving a second hand wreck.”
Y/N giggled at the dichotomy. The road to become doctors wasn’t an easy one for sure. “Have you ever regretted it?”
“More than I care to admit.” he sighed. “If I have to tell the truth I almost said yes.” he paused to look at her from the corner of his eyes. “Because of Sarah.”
“Oh. Of course.” He taught he needed to be able to take care of his child and its mother within a very short time, playing as a professional quarterback would have been the most obvious choice. “Why didn’t you?”
“Because I knew deep down that it wouldn’t make me happy.” he answered looking up to the night sky. “Because just like you, I wanted to realize my dreams, even if it meant that I had to work two jobs. Which I ended up doing, by the way.”
“Even after ... you know, you discovered that the baby wasn’t yours?”
“Yeah.” Jungkook sighed once again. “My parents didn’t take it well - both the fact that I got a random girl pregnant and that I refused such a once in a lifetime opportunity. I don’t know if you remember, but our relationship was already strained and it pretty much broke after that.”
“I’m sorry.” Y/N murmured sadly. She could only imagine what a difficult time he could have had.
“It’s not your fault.” he reassured her.
“Maybe not, but I played a part in it all.” she said drinking in a single sip what was left of her drink. “I really am sorry. For everything.”, she took a deep breath before speaking again. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I should have asked you for an explanation. And after I discovered the truth I should have called you to clear things up. I was immature.” she admitted.
Jungkook shook his head. “I don’t blame you, after all I did cheat on you, even if I don’t remember it. I would have reacted the same. Besides, I should have fought for you, instead of letting you walk away just like that. Despite Sarah’s pregnancy, I should have fought for you.”
They shared a sad smile, recognizing their faults. A lot of things could have gone differently if they’ve put aside their pride. But it was too late now, a lot of things had changed.
“Maybe ...” Y/N spoke after a moment of heavy silence. “Maybe we really didn’t want to solve things. Maybe we didn’t want it enough. If we did we both would have fought harder, don’t you think?”
“I guess so.”, he answered looking up at the sky again.
“Maybe it was supposed to go as it did,”, she added. “So that we could be with those who we love today.”
Jungkook bit the inside of his cheek, uneasy. “Maybe.”
Y/N and Hoseok were talking on the phone just like every evening. The first weeks apart had been difficult for both of them since they were used to be together almost 24/7. A year into their relationship Y/N had given up her apartment to move into Hoseok’s, which was only a natural choice since he literally lived next door. Living together as a couple worked perfectly fine for both of them. Hoseok was a very tidy person who loved to keep the house in order, unfortunately he was a disaster in the kitchen so Y/N had finally found an excuse to put to practice all she had learnt from her home cook brother. Their timetables were mostly the same, Hoseok working at the dancing studio till dawn and Y/N attending Med School classes five times a week. On Saturdays and Sundays they would often go on dates, they especially liked going on last minute trips and visit nearbye cities, and sometimes they liked being a little more adventurous by trying adrenalic activities such as bungee jumping and hang gliding. Yet there were also times when they were both too tired and they would end up spending the weekend in their pajamas watching reruns of their favorite series.
Hoseok was the typical man the girls dreamed of. Not only he was good looking, but he was also passionate and smart. He was kind and very considerate. He knew how to listen and he knew how to laugh. He rarely got mad but he stayed true to his values and ideals and when he knew that something was morally wrong he didn’t hesitate to speak out about it. Hoseok was sweet and very loving, he never stopped courting Y/N, always the hopeless romantic. She was lucky because she never wanted for anything with him.
“I’ve been drawing a lot lately.” she told him while taking a bite from her pepperoni pizza. Dinner time was usually when their calls would take place and to have some privacy from Seokjin Y/N had gotten used to eating on her bed. “Today I went to the coffee shop I told you about and drew this old woman who was talking loudly on the phone with her speakers on full volume. One of the waiters had to ask her three times to lower her voice before she finally heard him.” Y/N giggled remembering the scene. “It was quite entertaining.”
Hoseok smiled over the phone. “You used to do that a lot in college.”
“What?”
“You spent a lot of time drawing in my workplace, remember?” he explained. ‘Why did you stop?”
“I don’t know.” she shrugged, reaching a hand to her nightstand to grab her sketchbook. “I guess I lost the inspiration.” She ansered going through the dozen of portrait she had done over the past few weeks. She was getting better, her drawings getting more and more realistic.
“I’m happy you found it again.”
Y/N smiled. “Me too.”
“Have you signed the contract for the apartment?” Hoseok changed the subject, his voice muffled because he was eating as well.
“This morning. You’re going to love it. The windows overlook the park and the living room is so spacious that you can do tumbles in it.” she told him enthusiastically. “I’d move tomorrow if i could.”
“When is the tenant leaving again?”
“First week of July.” Y/N huffed annoyed. “Just in time before I start work.”
“I can’t wait to get there next month.” he confessed. “I miss you so much.”
She sighed falling back on the mattress. “Me too. Can you believe its been a month since we last saw each other?”
“Yeah. I’ve felt every single day of it.”
“Tell me about it.” Y/N looked up at the ceiling, suddenly feeling her chest constraint. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Are you going to cry?” he teased her.
“I might.” she grunted. “And you know I hate crying.”
“I know.” he said, Y/N could hear the smile on his voice. “What do you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know. Something exciting happened to you this days?” she asked sitting up again to grab another slice of pizza.
“Not much really. I feel like all I’ve been doing is work, work, work and work.” Hoseok groaned. “You’re the one who’s having all the fun.”
“What do you mean?”
“Aren’t you hanging out with the guys a lot these days?”
Y/N giggled. “Oh. Yeah. It’s actually been very nice seeing them again.” she admitted. “They’re so much fun to be with.”
“I remember. You guys used to be the talk of the school back then.” Hoseok recalled amused. “You were like the Avengers.”
“What are you talking about?” she laughed at the analogy.
“Think about it.” he chuckled as well. “The valedictorian, the quarterback, the cold one, the heartthrob, the party guy, the philosopher and the botanist. Am I missing someone?”
Y/N cackled. “I don’t think so.”
“You guys were the most incoherent crew on campus. You were like a social experiment.”
“I guess we were, weren’t we?” she joked back. They really were a variegated group of people. “Why is it that you never joined us? We used to hang a lot at the coffee shop and its not like we weren’t friends.” she pondered.
“We were amicable.” he corrected her. “You guys were like exclusive.”
“No we weren’t.” she snorted almost offended. “We were very friendly.”
“You were, but you gave off this type of vibe ... you used to walk around campus like you were untouchable.” he recalled.
Y/N furrowed her browse pensively. “We did?”
“Yeah. It wasn’t until Jungkook started working at the coffee shop that I started seeing you guys from another perspective. Before that you were pretty much Hollywood superstars.”
“You make us sound so obnoxious.” she said in a pout.
“You weren’t.” he reassured her smiling. “You were just on another level of the social pyramid.”
“I’m not sure I like that image.” Y/N confessed. “I never cared for such things and neither the others for what I remember. Taehyung, for example, was friends with everyone during college.”
“Taehyung was friendly to everyone during college, there’s a difference.” he corrected her once again. “Listen, I didn’t want to offend you, everyone had their crew back in college. If anything I’m saying that we common people admired you a lot.”
“No, I get it.” she pouted again. “It’s just the first time I’m hearing about it. I guess we did have a special connection between us. We still do actually. You’ll see when you get here. I’ll give you a special pass to enter our exclusive club.” she joked.
“I’d like that.” he smiled.
“Besides you have an advantage, you were already friends with Jungkook back then. You guys can hang out together again.”
There was a pause on the other side of the phone call. “Yeah. I guess I’d like that too.”
“So you guys are hanging out again?”, Seokjin asked his sister over breakfast dinner. Y/N had just told him about how they were all planning on having a Mexican dinner in Yoongi and Jungkook’s shared apartment the day after tomorrow, and how she wanted to try and bake a Mexican hot chocolate pie to prove them that her skills in the kitchen had improved over the years. Seokjin was aware of the fact that Y/N had met her old friends - and her ex - a couple of times, but it kind of surprised him discovering that they were planning themed dinner dates. “Does Hoseok know about it?”
Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes, playing with her potatoes with the fork. “Of course, he does. Why wouldn’t he?” she asked defensively.
Seokjin shrugged. “Just asking. Jungkook is there too, right?”
“Right.” she sighed annoyingly. “So?”
“So, all I’m saying is that he has every right to be jealous. He’s your ex boyfriend after all.”
“Well, he is not. Besides, he has no reason to be.”
Seokjin arched an eyebrow, doubtful. “Really?”
“Really.” she insisted. “It’s not like I’m going to cheat on him or anything. He knows that.”
“I didn’t say that.” Seokjin huffed.
“You thought about it.” Y/N accused him with her fork. “We’re friends, that’s all.”
“Exes can hardly be friends.”
Y/N narrowed her eyes. “You are so limited. Of course they can. Besides,” she said with her mouth full of potatoes. “It wasn’t that big of a love story. We were together for like ... what? Three months? Four? It was more like a spring fling or whatever.” she continued dismissively putting her empty plate in the sink.
Seokjin watched her washing the dishes with a furrowed brow, not entirely convinced. It was true, their relationship was brief, but he clearly remembered how it was and a part of him knew that the two of them could have been great together. It was unfortunate that they didn’t gave their relationship time to evolve. Seokjin liked Hoseok, he treated his sister like a princess, just as she deserved, and was overall a great guy. Still, if he had to chose between him and Jungkook, he would choose the latter. There was no specific reason why, really. It was not like Y/N was better with him than with the other or anything. He just liked Jungkook more, even after all that had happened years ago. Maybe it was the fact that he was good at Call of Duty.
Seven o’clock was the perfect hour to go for a run, it wasn’t too early and it wasn’t too late, the park wasn’t yet packed but it wasn’t empty either. Y/N had started jogging every other day aiming to build up her stamina in sight of the long shifts that awaited her on July. With her earphones blasting hype music she would run the trails a couple of times before walking to her new favorite coffee shop to cool down and there, just like she used to when she was in college, she would order an ice americano grande with two extra shots and only one chocolate muffin - when she was younger she used to be able to eat three of them in one go.
“I think I’m having a deja-vu.” said a male voice, too close to her ear making her jump in surprise. She took one earphone off and turned to her left.
It was Jungkook.
It was obvious that he had been running too, his damped with sweat hair framing his pretty face. He was out of breath, his chest rising up and down while he fanned himself with his white t-shirt.
“You should stop listening to music at such a high volume.” he chastised her with a lopsided grin.
“And you should stop coming behind people when they’re clearly distracted.” she replied crossing her arms. “One of this days someone might punch you in the face as a defense mechanism.”
“Sorry.” he giggled. They started walking again, side by side. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”
“So you still love running, huh?” Y/N observed looking up at him. Now that he was wearing only a short sleeved t-shirt she could clearly see just how much muscular he had gotten over the years. Not that he had a small frame before, but he was on the buff side now, nothing too much, just enough to make her heart skip a bit.
“I could say the same thing to you.”
“I actually just started again.” she confessed. “I had to stop during Med School. Too tired, you know? I’m a little bit out of shape, in fact.”
Jungkook stopped on his tracks, arching his brow teasingly. Y/N followed him suit, confused. “So your saying,” he said with clear mischief in his eyes. “That if I race you to the coffee shop down the street you would actually lose?”
Y/N opened her mouth in bewilderment. She immediately understood what he was referring too because they used to do this a lot back in college. Always competitive, the two of them would race each other back to their favorite cafe’ and since he was a quarterback back then and she was a former sprinter, the challenge had always been fun.
She was never going to admit it out loud, but he was probably right: she would surely lose this time. Yet she was proud and she didn’t want to give in too easily.
She turned her back at him, ready to run. “The loser pays for breakfast.”
Of course, the loser turned out to be her. Those couple of hundred meters never felt so long. Her lungs were burning, her face was heating up and she could literally feel her legs wobble.
“Shit.” she cursed with her hands on her knees.
“You ok?” Jungkook grinned, catching his breath as well. “Do I need to reanimate you?”
“Fuck you.” was all she could say with her throat burning for air.
The man laughed before straightening up. He put an arm around her shoulders to sustain her and started walking towards the glass doors of the shop. “Come on, breakfast is on me.”
“Just give me a couple of weeks and we can talk again.” she promised. “I really need to freshen up, I feel like burning.” she then added pushing her hair away from her face.
“Go on. I’ll take your order.”
“An ice americano grande with two extra shots and a chocolate muffin.”
Jungkook stared at her for a moment, something clearly going on through his mind. He smiled sweetly. “You’re still the same.”
“You remember?” she asked half surprised.
“Of course I do.” he replied tilting his head to the side. “Don’t you remember mine?”
Y/N smiled back. “Of course I do.” she mimicked him. “It was the same as mine.”
They looked at each other with fondness, lost in the old memories.
“Go freshen up.” he finally said. “I’ll look for a table near the window.”
“Those are my favorite seats.” she replied.
“I know.” he grinned walking backwards towards the counter. “As I said, you’re still the same.”
Once inside the bathroom Y/N had to lean on the door for a second. Her heart was beating fast and she could feel her cheeks burning. It wasn’t because of the exertion of the race but for another reason entirely. A reason she was too afraid to explore.
“So are you ready to start our residency?” Jungkook asked taking a big bite from his third muffin.
“God, I can’t wait. I’ve been ready since I was fourteen.” Y/N admitted.
It had taken her more than a couple of minutes to calm down after their brief exchange. Her brother’s words rang annoyingly through her ears. She didn’t want to dwell on what she had felt and decided that ignoring everything altogether was the easiest thing to do. So she went to the sink and splashed her face with cold water at least ten times, trying to clear her mind.
Once she exited the bathroom, her heart rate finally normal and her skin color of a natural pink, she had no difficulty in spotting Jungkook. He had chosen the table next the biggest window and was sipping on his drink while watching those who passed by on the sidewalk.
He smiled at her when she sat down and pushed towards her two plates of chocolate muffins saying that he knew that she had asked for only one but he thought that she needed the extra energy.
“So when did you fell in love with trauma surgery?”
“I’m not as focused as you are.” he teased. “But really, no big story behind it. I just realized while studying that maybe I didn’t have it in me to treat sick kids.”
“But you do for broken limbs and car crash victims?” she questioned amused.
“Don’t forget gunshot and stab wounds.” he replied enthusiastically.
“Yeah, let’s not forget those.” she rolled her eyes at the ceiling.
She felt comfortable speaking with him, as if they never went their separate ways. She wondered if it was normal.
“How’s your brother?” Jungkook asked pulling her away from her thoughts.
“Seokjin? His fine, always annoying. He is definitely too happy about us working in the same building.”
“Right. I forgot he was a nurse there. Does he remember me?”
Y/N arched a brow. “Why wouldn’t he? You used to play games all the time. In fact, I think he would be happy to see you.”
“Yeah?” he exclaimed cheerily. Then he suddenly became serious. “He gives good punches.”
“What How would you know that?”
“Because he gave me one that same day you broke up with me.” he recalled. “Just a few minutes after you left, actually. Yoongi just let him in my room while I was crying my eyes out. Didn’t really see it coming, really, he just went full swing at my face and left without a single word. Jimin screamed like a girl.”
Y/N felt her mouth fall. Seokjin never mentioned anything like this happening. He was never one for violence, truth be told she rarely saw him angry at all. Discovering that he went full knight in shining armor caught her by complete surprise.
Imagining the scene Y/N couldn’t help but throw her head back in laughter amusing Jungkook who couldn’t contain a smile either. “I didn’t know I had an overprotective brother.”
“He was kinda cool.” he admitted taking another bite from his muffin.
It was nice talking about the past like this, without embarrassment. Y/N was thankful that they had cleared things up. “I’m glad we’re friends again.” she confessed with a soft smile.
“Me too.” he replied in a low voice.
The next time Y/N and Jungkook meet is to celebrate Yoongi’s promotion to Clinical Project Manager for the medical research institute he worked for. He had planned a Korean dinner night complete with a portable stove grill for the barbeque and expensive soju and Korean beer. Having these themed dinners had become customary. Every Monday one of them would propose a cuisine on their group chat and the following Saturday they would meet at Yoongi’s apartment who usually did all the cooking. Until they had tried Italian, Mexican and Japanese.
As the night progressed the seven of them began getting tipsier and tipsier, enjoying the alcohol the eldest bought a little bit too much for the late hour. Y/N, who was a quiet drunk and was worried about the neighbors, had tried more than once to make them lower their voices. It was useless. As Jimin and Taehyung started a karaoke competition, Y/N felt the sudden need of a little bit of silence. Wobbling on her feet she pushed herself through the living room and through the corridor until she met a white door head first. She opened it and found herself in a moon lit bedroom. She looked around, her vision a little bit blurry. A queen sized bed was sitting in the middle of the room, the white sheets perfectly folded. At the head of it hang a big wooden frame, the content of it hinting the owner of the chamber. It was Jungkook’s varsity jersey, the very one with which he had won four championships in a row, three of them as captain of the team. On either side of the shirt a very large number of medals were hanging by their colorful ribbons. Y/N couldn’t help but sneer, she had only see a wall of his room and it was already evident how much Jungkook liked to brag.
“Hey, you ok?” a voice came behind her making her jump. Unsteady on her feet she almost fell however Jungkook’s big hand grabbed her by the elbow just in time to keep her straight.
“Gosh, you have to stop doing that.”
“Sorry.” he giggled half drunk as well. “I saw you hitting your head on the door.”
“Mmmh.” Y/N mumbled incoherently as she sat down on the edge of his bed. “I’m not exactly sober at the moment.”
“I can see that.” he replied joining her. He lied on his back beside her and let out a big yawn.
Y/N looked at him through her clouded eyes. He was wearing a black baggy t-shirt today, one that couldn’t hide his broad chest even if it was clearly twice his size. His matching cargo pants were perfectly hugging his thighs as well. Laying like that, with his eyes now closed and his hair in disarray, Jungkook was the epitome of sexy. Y/N felt herself blushing and diverted her eyes from his figure.
She looked around the rest of the room. There wasn’t much, really. Just a big cupboard, some weights lying on the floor, a small library and an untidy desk. Over the latter were hanging smaller picture frames which subjects Y/N couldn’t decypher because of the dark. Yet one of them caught her attention, even from where she was sitting she could recognize that it didn’t contain a photograph like the others. It was bigger than the rest and occupied much of the space on the wall. She squinted her eyes trying to get a better look but too lazy to stand up. It took her a couple of tries before her drunk mind recognized the image. She felt her mouth fall in shock, her heart skipping a beat simultaneously.
“Is that ...” she gasped. “Is that my portrait?
Jungkook opened an eye at her words before leaning up on his elbows to get a better look at what she was referring to. “Oh, that.” he mumbled. “Yeah.”
The portrait in question was a drawing the boys had commissioned her four years ago, all seven of them were in it and it took her almost a month to finish it before she was completely satisfied with her work. She recalled how the four bouys used to joke around on who was supposed to get it, making bets and giving her small treats to get on her good side. Last thing she remembered Taehyung had won the competition just by giving her his signature puppy eyes, she could never say no to that. Jungkook was quite bitter that his position as her boyfriend didn’t win him any points.
Y/N couldn’t believe that he had it hanging on his bedroom floor and she felt herself getting emotional. “Why do you have it?” she whispered staring at him with wide eyes.
Jungkook sat up straighter and scratched his neck, slightly embarrassed. “Taehyung surrendered it to me after - you know, after we broke up. As a consolation price, I guess.” he laughed softly looking at her from the corner of his eyes.
“Why do you still have it?” she whispered again in disbelief.
He shifted his eyes over the portrait pensively. He had it hanging over his desk since the day he had got it. He knew every line and every shadow by heart. “Because its beautiful.” he said matter-of-factly.
“Beautiful?” Y/N repeated looking back at the frame again.
“Yeah.” he nodded in a low voice.
She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol in her system but Y/N felt like there was a hidden meaning behind Jungkook’s words. To her drunken mind, a gift from an ex being beautiful wasn’t enough of an excuse for keeping it for four whole years. Yet she was too tipsy to dwell on it.
“Doesn’t your girlfriend mind?” she asked curiously after a moment of silence.
“Why would she?” he shrugged laying on his back once again.
“Because I’m the one who drew it.”
“So?” he asked nonchalantly closing his eyes and entwining his hands over his stomach.
“So I’m your ex.” it came out more as a question.
Jungkook sighed before opening a single eye again. “Y/N its just a drawing. No need to dwell on it.”
Y/N wasn’t convinced as she looked at him with her brows furrowed. Yet again, she wasn’t sober enough to insist. She laid down beside him, mimicking his position and closing her eyes as well.
“If you say so.”
She felt him nodding through the darkness. Now that she had her eyes shut, she felt all of her other senses amplify. She could hear him breathing, could smell his perfume and could feel his skin just a couple on inches away from hers. She felt goosebumps running trough her arms, her heart beating faster once again. She felt the urge to touch him and clenched her fists to resist it. Trying to calm herself down, Y/N took a few deep furtive breaths keeping her eyes closed tight. But it looked like she wasn’t successful in being sly because she felt Jungkook turning his head towards her. To make things worst, the man rolled on his side and had the brilliant idea of putting a hand over Y/N’s.
“Hey, are you ok?’ he asked worriedly.
His touch ignited a shiver down her spine that caused her to tighten her eyes even more. Her espression might have looked like she was in pain because Jungkook anxiously got up on his elbow to hover over her face.
“Y/N?” he called her.
The woman shook her head fervently, which she regretted immediately since she suddenly felt the whole world spinning. “I think I’m drunk.” she mumbled.
“Ok.” Jungkook replied. “Do you want some water?”
Y/N nodded. “Please.”
“I’ll get it for you. Wait here.”
She felt him get up from the bed and walk towards the door and only when she heard it closing behind him that she released a deep breath, finally opening her eyes to the ceiling.
“What the hell was that?”
It was the first week of June and Y/N had been apart from Hoseok for two months now. To be honest, the long distance relationship wasn’t going as bad as she thought it would be. The first few weeks were brutal, of course, but as time went by she started feeling the weight of his absence less and less, making her feel conflicted about her emotions. She missed him, she loved him, yet she didn’t feel the urge to buy a one way ticket to be with him again. Nothing was stopping her from doing just that, either. She still had a few weeks left before her training and the new apartment wasn’t going to be available until the end of the month, so she really didn’t have a reason to stay there other than keeping her brother company. Nevertheless, she didn’t feel like going anywhere. She was enjoying this long vacation, because come to think of it she never had one before. She discovered that she didn’t mind being alone. Y/N had always been a solitary person, a quality over quantity type of girl, but since she had started dating Hoseok she got used to living life as a pair, and didn’t realize how she missed being alone. She liked this newfound independence and at the same time felt guilty about it.
Plus, Hoseok had gotten very busy over the past month, the music video project draining him of energy and time, causing their phone calls to be sporadic and brief during the day. He was enthusiastic about it, he had hired at least thirty people to dance an intense choreography, ready to show to the world what he was worth. Most of the time it was all he could talk about.
“I never did anything like this.” he was just saying on the other side of the call. Y/N was laying on her bed, playing around with a cat shaped stress ball that Yoongi had gifted her the other day. “It’s huge, really. Everyone’s gonna see this music video and everyone’s gonna see my choreography. Can you believe that?” he continued enthusiastically. “If I do this right ... I don’t wanna jinx it.”
Y/N laughed, smitten by his cuteness. “You’re gonna do great, Hobi.” she really was happy for him, she understood how great of an opportunity this was for his career.
“I really hope so.” he sighed. “Actually, I need to tell you something.” he continued tentatively.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I don’t think I will be able to fly there next week.” Hoseok said in one breath. “The thing is there is so much I have to do. I want everything to be perfect. You know what a perfectionist I and I still have to complete part of the choreography. I also have to train at least another group of dancers, just in case, you know? And the company was talking about doing a b-side music video too. That means I have to choreograph a whole new routine, you know me, I can’t do the same thing twice. And -”
“Hobi.” Y/N interrupted his rumbling. She sat up and crossed her legs pensively. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the news. She was already confused as it was and she was looking forward to him joining her so that she could wash away her doubts. “When do you think you’ll be able to come?” she asked sadly.
“I’m not sure.” he murmured defeated. “Maybe in August.”
Y/N’s eyes widened. “In August?!” she gasped. “That’s two months from now!”
“I know.” he grimaced. “They said they planned on recording both videos by the end of July.”
Y/N closed her eyes, running her fingers trough her hair. “How long have you known about this?”
“Y/N ...” he pleaded. “A week.”
“A week.” she repeated slowly. “Why are you only telling me now?”
“Because I know you would be angry.”
“Of course I’m angry!” Y/N raised her voice. “We haven’t seen each other for two months! How do you think I would have reacted?”
“I know, I’m sorry!” he exclaimed defensively.
Silence fell in both ends of the call. Y/N didn’t know what to say. She was angry and sad, but there was also a part of her, a part she was trying hard to suppress, that felt somehow relieved by the news.
“You could always come back home.” Hoseok said tentatively.
“What do you mean?”
“You could come back home.” he repeated. “There’s no reason for you to be there.”
Y/N knew what he meant, she knew he was right, but somehow she stupidly felt offended by his words. “I’m going to work here.” she hissed.
“Not until July.” he responded firmly. “There’s no reason for you to be there now. You could come home. You’ve been doing nothing this past month, you could have come back home weeks ago.”
Y/N didn’t fail to notice his accusing tone. “That’s not my home anymore.” she mumbled before she could stop herself.
Hoseok fell silent for a moment. “I’m supposed to be your home.” he replied matter-of-factly.
Y/N knew that he was hurt by her words and he had every reason to be. “I’m sorry.” was all she could say, biting her lip.
“Yeah.” he sighed.
Their conversation had gone bad so quickly. Y/N couldn’t understand her feelings. She was angry at him for going back on his word, guilty that she didn’t care as she should, regretful of what she had said and ashamed that in a moment like this, for a reason that she didn’t understand, a familiar face kept popping in her head.
Jungkook.
“I’m going to bed.” he announced suddenly bringing her back to reality. “I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?”
“Ok.”
“I love you.” Hoseok breathed slowly.
“I love you too.” she replied, but for the first time in two years she didn’t fully mean it.
Part 2
July - Aug.
Day 1 of the general surgery residency program had finally arrived.
Y/N was beyond thrilled. She had waited her whole life for this moment, her whole family were health workers, her father being an anesthesiologist and both her mother and brother being nurses, she was destined.
That night she could barely sleep, not only for the excitement of the new adventure but also because she wasn’t used too sleeping alone in an empty house anymore. She loved her new apartment over looking the park, but she had rented it for herself and her boyfriend and, now that he had postponed his departure to the end of the summer, it just felt too big without someone to share it with.
The past few weeks had been hard for their relationship, at least on Y/N’s side. She wasn’t sure if Hoseok only pretended not to see it, but she was feeling more and more distant to him. She tried to fight it during their daily phone calls, yet she still recognized that her attitude towards him had changed. She didn’t feel as excited as before when seeing his name on her screen, sometimes even ignoring him for a couple of hours until she could without worrying him. Their conversations were still naturally cheerful because she did care for him and she did enjoy talking to him after all. However she could feel that something had shifted inside her.
It was sad to admit but Y/N had gotten used to his absence. Her days didn’t evolved around him anymore, on the contrary, most of the time he was the last thing she would think of. She felt guilty about it, obviously and had a hard time admitting something that deep down she already knew.
She didn’t speak of it with anyone because doing so would only make things real and she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with it. So she kept everything for herself, trying very hard to ignore her feelings and hoping that it was only a temporary situation caused by the distance between them. After all, Hoseok had nothing wrong. He was still as sweet and caring as ever despite they haven’t seen each other in person for three months now. He never failed to prove to her his love, sometimes even sending her little gifts that would make her smile contently, making her remember why she fell in love with him in the first place.
His last gift had come by the mail just a couple of days before: a brand new stethoscope of a major brand.
“I know you planned on keep using your father’s old stethoscope, for good fortune.” the note attached to the box read. “But I thought it was only right for you to start this new adventure with a pair of your own with the hopes that it will accompany you throughout this whole journey and that it could help you create your own fortune. I’m proud of you and I love you.”
She had called him with tears that night.
Y/N had been struggling about her feelings for Hoseok for weeks, keeping her distracted and absent-minded, but that day, her first day as an intern, she had no space for him in her mind. All she could think of was the adrenaline rushing through her veins, she felt wide awake even if she had slept only a few hours and it was 6 o’clock in the morning.
“Here’s your chocolate.” Jungkook’s voice came from behind her. “Are you sure you don’t want some coffee? It’s hella early.”
They were sitting inside the hospital cafeteria having breakfast together since they still had an hour before their appointment with their resident. The two of them had spent a lot of time together over the past week, going together at the dinner party for the interns and at orientation day. They had decided that since they lived farely close too each other now, and as soon as their shifts allowed it, they would come to work together, Jungkook picking her up with his second hand car. Fortunately enough, they were also assigned to the same resident which meant that they would spend their whole year as interns together.
“No.” she answered to his question. “I’m already agitated as it is. Caffeine is the last thing I need.”
“Good for you.” he replied taking a good sip of his own coffee. “I don’t know if its a defense meccanism or whatever but I feel like I could sleep till tomorrow.”
“You’re still gonna be here tomorrow.” she noted.
“I know.” he sighed. “Can you believe it? This is going to be our life now.”
“Get ready, Dr. Jeon.” Y/N teased him. “I’m going to kick your ass this time as well.”
Jungkook arched a brow at her. “You were only good in college because it was all theory, Dr. Y/L/N.” he bit back. “It’s all practice now. We’re in my field.”
“Bet I’ll be the first of the two of us to hold a scalpel.” she said firmly reaching out a hand.
“Bet I’ll be the first of all the interns to hold a scalpel.” he retracted smugly.
Y/N smirked at his cockiness, already enjoying the challenge. “Deal.” she answered shaking his hand firmly.
Their assigned resident didn’t seem to like the idea of having five interns to take care of. He was surly, angry half of the time and ignored them the rest of it. He didn’t like himself repeating himself twice and explained things only if asked to. On the other hand he demanded for them to answer correctly and promptly to all of his questions, and got annoyed easily if they took to long on doing basic medical procedures.
Y/N and Jungkook’s first 6 hours as interns went like a living hell. The resident had noticed that the former was the first one to answer correctly most of his questions, even the trickiest ones, and instead of praising her for it he taken it upon himself to treat her us badly as possible, even accusing her of little things she didn’t do. Jungkook, always the knight, had made the mistake of defending her, getting on his bad side as well.
By lunchtime, the two of them had spent all of their energy by keeping themselves always on high alert, not only when they were with their resident but also when they were alone. Neither of them could relax, first because their teacher was the reincarnation of the devil and second because it turned out that the hospital was one hell of a scary place. Everything they did felt like it could kill a patient, even simply writing down the vitals of a lady with appendicitis. Y/N had checked at least five times if she what she had in hand was the right chart before writing anything down. She was visibly so anxious that Jungkook didn’t even find it in him to tease her about it.
“This isn’t going as good as I thought it would.” Y/N said playing with the meat on her plate. They were at the cafeteria once again, stopping for the first time since that morning. “He hates me.”
“He hates me too.” Jungkook said. “I think he hates us all.”
“You shouldn’t have defended me.” she reprimanded him with a pout. “You’re making me feel guilty.”
Jungkook sneered. “No way I was staying silent.” he exclaimed waving his fork at her. “He accused you of clamping the thoracic drainage of that man when you didn’t even touch it! He’s a bitch.”
“Guess you’ve met Dr. Park.” a voice sniggered above their heads. Seokjin was carrying his lunch on a tray and was smiling at them with glee.
“You could have told me!” she accused her brother as he sat down at the table with them. “You knew!”
“Of course I knew.” he laughed. “But where was the fun in that.”
“I should have known.” Jungkook grimaced giving him a stern look. “You were too quiet that day and you’re never quiet.”
After the initial awkwardness the two man had recovered their friendship as well, even playing games together again. Even when they were a couple, Y/N found their relationship strange, they had too much syntony despite having a 5 year age gap. For example, Jin didn’t act as comfortable with Hoseok, even if they had known each other for two years. But maybe that was just because they lived far from each other.
“According to my experience,” Seokjin said. “the more he gives you a hard time, the more he respects you.”
“Why is that?” Y/N asked, suddenly curious.
“See it this way. He knows you exist.”
“Thanks. I feel better now.” Jungkook rolled his eyes.
“No, really. Think about it. Has he spoken to any of the other interns?”
Y/N thought about it for a second before shaking her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Because he was too busy screaming at us.” Jungkook pointed out.
“Because he saw you.” Seokjin corrected him.
“How romantic.” the other puffed annoyed.
“He might have a point, though.” Y/N said trying to convince herself that a hellish year wasn’t laying ahead.
“Where are the other interns, anyway?”
Jungkook shrugged. “Hiding away to cry, most probably.”
“He doesn’t like them very much.” Y/N explained to his brother. “Two of them went to Med School with him and our total douchebags.”
“The other one is a daddy’s girl who doesn’t even know how to put a tourniquet on.” the boy added. “Prepare yourself, Y/N. I’m going to glue myself to you.”
“As if you haven’t already.” she smirked. “You were practically my shadow today.”
“Only because you needed someone to defend you against Dr. Park.”
“You’re my knight in shining armor.”
Seokjin groaned. “Please, don’t start flirt in front of my salad.”
Maybe because she was tired or maybe because she had spent the whole day close to him, but that night, alone in her big apartment, Y/N dreamt of making love to Jungkook.
The next phone call she has with Hoseok was painful. It was the morning after her first shift and he was so enthusiastic about hearing how it went while all Y/N could think about was how guilty she felt of dreaming about being with another man. It had happened before, of course, but all with fictional characters or actors she had a crush on, never with real people she actually knew. Let alone her ex boyfriend.
She tried to blame it on the fact that she hadn’t had sex for three months now and that it was only due for her to have a wet dream. Jungkook was the subject of it only because she had been seeing a lot of him lately. Nothing more.
It wasn’t easy to stop thinking about it, the whole thing vivid in her memory. The fact that her subconcious remembered Jungkook’s anatomy in detail didn’t help either. Of course, he had changed over the years, he was more muscular and had those long wavy hair now. Not to mention how good he looked with his scrubs on. Twelve hours of internship and he already had all the female staff at his feet.
Jungkook was sexy as hell. There was no denying it.
But he was also smart and kind and funny. He was the complete package.
And he was taken. Hell, she was taken too. She shouldn’t be thinking about her ex without his shirt on. Especially when on the other side of the phone the most perfect boyfriend was trying hard to get her attention.
“A little bit distracted today?” Hoseok asked with a sigh.
“I’m sorry.” she run a hand through her hair feeling terrible. “Just tired.”
“I get it.” she felt him smiling over the phone. “Do you want me to call you later?”
“Do you mind? I think I’m gonna nap for another hour.”
“Sure. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” he said sweetly.
“Love you too.”
Now alone again in her room, Y/N felt even worse than before. Not only she felt relieved that he had hung up, but she also wasn’t sure if she meant those last words anymore.
She wanted to go for a run to clear her mind but chances were that she would meet Jungkook, the very one he wanted to avoid. The only thing she could do was lay on her bed, snuggle under the covers and feel like the most terrible person on earth.
When did this started? When did she started feeling this way for Jungkook again? Did she really had feelings for him? Or was it only the fact that Hoseok was far away?
Still it didn’t excuse her for feeling the way she did. If she truly loved him she wouldn’t be thinking of another man even if they lived two continents apart. Right?
So she didn’t love Hoseok anymore? But she did, she could feel it. She cared for him a lot, she still cheered for him, she still liked his attentions. Then what was it? Why wasn’t it enough?
And why Jungkook of all the people? Maybe it was because he saw him everyday, maybe if she didn’t see him as much she wouldn’t have developed this feelings.
But really, what feelings were they anyway? She wasn’t in love with him, of that she was sure of. Hoseok was the one she loved, yes. Hoseok who was perfect. Where would she find another man like him? But yet again, Jungkook was perfect too. She had tested it.
Except for the fact that he had cheated on her. Of course, it was a long time ago and she wasn’t even sure that she could call it cheating. They were barely at the beggining of their relationship back then, their very short relationship.
What was she even thinking of? Leaving Hoseok for him? That was stupid. Why would she trade a perfect love story with the uncertainty of a college flirt with a tragic ending? Besides, Jungkook never showed any interest towards her since she had come back.
Because he has a girlfriend.
He probably loved her to bits too.
Yet ... he never talked about her. Hell, Y/N never even saw her once. Why would he never invite her during their group dates? Not even once. That was strange. Come to think of it, Y/N didn’t even know how she looked like. All she knew about her was that she was a professional dancer like Hoseok. That’s it. She never bothered to ask, truth be told.
Because I don’t care.
Y/N wanted to silence the voice inside her head. She felt like screaming.
She was with someone, for god’s sake. Someone that loved her, that made her feel loved. She didn’t need this.
Maybe it was only a sexual attraction. Right, maybe that was it. It was impossible to not be attracted to Jungkook after all, she was only human.
She was in sex withdrawal and Jungkook happened to be the most fuckable living being that her restless mind could think of.
Sexual attraction. Yes. That explained everything.
She trew the covers over her head, hiding from the world, and started repeating the same phrase all over again, like a mantra.
“I’m in love with Hoseok. I’m in love with Hoseok.”
To celebrate surviving their first week as interns, Y/N and Jungkook had decided to invite their friends to a night out.
Y/N decided to dress up for the occasion: there was no use in denying it anymore, she wanted to attract Jungkook’s attention. So she put on her favorite summer dress, styled her hair and put on some red lipstick. After days of self pity, she had finally surrendered to the idea that, for one reason or another, she was attracted to the man. Physically speaking, of course. Nothing more than that.
What she couldn’t explain was why it never happened before. Never with this intensity, anyways. She had met a lot of men during the past years, undoubtebly handsome men too. Yet not one of them had caused such a reaction from her. What was so special about Jungkook?
Despite still feeling guilty about it, a part of her was now convinced that there was nothing wrong with feeling a little attracted to someone. She was only human, after all. She wasn’t a saint. Therefore what was the harm in having a little fun?
Ever the competitive one, Y/N wanted to test Jungkook. She couldn’t believe that she was the only one feeling this connection. She wanted to provoke a reaction from him, nothing major, just enough to not make her feel alone in her misery. It was stupid, she was aware of it, and morally wrong.
It’s not like I want to have sex with him, she thought wearing her black leather jacket and grabbing her keys.
Well, she did want to. But she wasn’t actually going to do it.
She respected Hoseok, loved him. Cheating was not part of her plans.
The walk to the pub was a quick one since it was only a few blocks away from her apartment. She was the last one to arrived, which she sort of planned on happening: she wanted to make an entrance. She had imagine the scene in her head while she was taking a shower.
Her friends would be waiting for her outside the bar and she would walk confidently towards them. Jungkook would be standing there looking all handsome and breathtaking, he would look up - at 0.5x speed - only to see her looking all gorgeous and sexy as well. His jaw would drop, his heart would skip a bit. They would look into each others eyes intensely, exchanging a silent message between them. And then ...
And then that was it. That was how far she let her imagination go.
To some extent, what she pictured did come true. Jungkook was all handsome and breathtaking, she was all gorgeous and sexy, but there was no jaw dropping and no silent message. On the contrary the man averted his gaze almost immediately upon seeing her.
“Hey, sexy.” Jimin teased her, putting an arm around her shoulder. “Did it hurt?”
Y/N frowned at him. “When I fell from heaven?” she pretended to vomit. “Does that even work?”
The man laughed, squeezing her affectionately against his body. “Guess not. Not that I never needed pickup lines to get the ladies to fall in love with me.” he winked at her.
Y/N rolled her eyes before greeting the others. Jungkook smiled tightly at her. She returned, a little bit confused.
For the first part of the evening, the boy acted awfully strange towards Y/N, in such a way that was impossible for her to ignore it. He would avoid her eyes at all cost, even avoid her touch - which was nearly impossible since they were sitting next to each other in a too small booth for the seven of them. Y/N was unable to relax feeling him so tense and found herself pulling away from his body as well, to the point that she was practically glued to Ashley’s arm. To ease her nerves a little she started drinking her cocktail way too quickly, ignorant of the fact that Jungkook was unknowingly matching her pace.
It took them a first round of shots to be finally able to loosen up. Laughing hard to one of Jimin’s stupid jokes she found herself leaning her head against Jungkook’s bicep, and before she knew it she felt his hand over her naked thigh, just a few inches above her knee. He didn’t seem to have done it on purpose since he had his head thrown back in laughter as well. Nevertheless, Y/N had to try hard to act as normally as possible and pretend like feeling the heat of his skin on hers was nothing to make a fuss about.
Jungkook didn’t remove his hand from its place even after the conversation had shifted. On the contrary, he started drawing little circles on her inner thigh, slow and featherlike. Y/N’s heart hadn’t stopped hammering for minutes now, every nerve in her body electrified by his touch. This skinship was something she did not expect, it caught her completely off guard. As far as she knew, Jungkook had never proven any interest towards her, beside those of friendship.
She tried reliving the moments they had spent together over the past few months. Did she miss something? She didn’t, did she? This was the first time he acted like this. Was it because of the alcohol? They had been drunk together before and nothing had happened. Was it the dress then? But he had seen her in shorts multiple times.
She was still in the middle of the umpteenth internal battle when Jungkook suddenly took his hand off her. Y/N’s eyes looked up at him instinctively. He too was looking at her, slightly smiling. She tried to read the meaning behind it. What kind of smile was that? Was he angry that she didn’t reciprocate his touch? Or happy that she didn’t push him away?
Then Taehyung called Jungkook’s name and he had to divert his eyes from her to listen to what he was saying.
Looking at his profile, Y/N thought hard on what to do next. She missed his touch already, she wanted more. Should she put a hand on his jean-clothed thigh too? Maybe she could lean her arm against his, trying to act as naturally as possible. She didn’t want the others to catch up to her inner turmoil.
And then she noticed his hand, the same one that was on her skin just a few moments ago. It was laying between them on the wooden bench, his long fingers holding its edge. She stared at it for a minute. Did he left it there intentionally? She didn’t care.
She looked up, pretending to listen to whatever conversation the other’s were having, and grabbed a few chips for good measure. Then, as carefully as possible, she put her hand next to his, their pinkies brushing against each other. Just that movement and heart went stammering again, she couldn’t here a word the others were saying, her eyes unfocused. She could feel the electricity running between them and wondered if Jungkook was feeling it too.
She took a deep breath trough her nose, smiling to Namjoon who seemed to be speaking to her, and put her finger across his. Just a finger. With her lip beneath her teeth she waited, counting to three inside her head. If he moved away she could still pretend she didn’t do it on purpose, that it was a complete accident. Yet Jungkook didn’t move. He kept his head turned away from her, still listening to Taehyung. With his other hand he grabbed the bottle of his beer and took a large sip from it.
What happened next made Y/N blush. Even if it was such a simple thing, making her feel like a kindergarten kid.
Jungkook carefully freed his pinkie from hers and then, with a sweetness that Y/N didn’t expect, intertwined their last two fingers together.
If it made any sense, this felt better than his whole hand on her thigh. Y/N smiled. She didn’t know what this whole thing meant, yet she didn’t care. She would think about it tomorrow.
They stayed in that position for the rest of the evening, playing with each other’s digits and caressing each other’s skin. Neither of them moved their hands from under the table, both enjoying the secrecy.
Y/N believed they did a good job in hiding it too. But it turned out she was wrong.
At the end of the night, when the time to go home came, the group hug each other goodnight. It was then that Y/N realized that the moment to finally face the reality had come.
As Ashley hugged her close she heard her whispering in her ear. “You. Me. Breakfast tomorrow. You have some explaining to do.”
Y/N dreaded this moment. One thing was to fantasize on her own, having her best friend looking at her with inquisitive eyes was another matter altogether.
Ashley showed herself at her doorstep early in the morning, true to her threath. She had brought with her breakfast and a very intimidating stare that made Y/N quiver.
“Are you cheating on Hoseok?” she had said once they were both sitted at the kitchen table. Her straightforwardness almost made Y/N choke on her coffee. “Not here to judge, of course.” she added.
“I’m not!” Y/N exclaimed defensively. “I’m not cheating on Hoseok.”
The other girl arched an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Then what was going on between you and Jungkook yesterday?”
“You saw that?” Y/N grimaced.
“Of course, I saw that.” Ashley laughed. “Taehyung did too.”
Y/N felt her eyes widen. “Taehyung?!”
“I think you didn’t noticed,” her friend teased her. “But we were literally glued to eachother inside that booth. If I could see you getting sneaky under the table, he could too. He was sitting next to Jungkook after all.”
Y/N moaned in pain, putting her hands over her face. “Are you sure he saw it too?”
“Positive.” she nodded. “We caught each others eyes.”
“Great. Now it will only be a matter of days before he tells Jimin and we all know how much Jimin likes to gossip, he’ll tell Yoongi for sure.” she cried. “Please tell me you didn’t tell Namjoon.”
“Y/N ...” Ashley said tentatively. “We’ve actually known for weeks. We have a group chat.”
Y/N blinked a couple of times, she wasn’t sure she heard her right. “You have a what?”
“A group chat.” the other repeated as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “Seokjin is in it too.”
“Seokjin what?!” she exclaimed flabbergasted.
Ashley nodded, entertained by her friend’s reaction. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but we are actually taking bets. We’ve done it back in college too, come to think of it.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Y/N put her hands forward. “This is way too much information. You’re betting on what exactly?”
“On whether you leave each other’s partners by the end of the summer.” she shrugged. “Yoongi is convinced you won’t be able to resist, too much sexual tension. I disagree, I know you better than he does. You’re not the type of person to go break someone’s trust.”
“Thank you, I guess.” Y/N felt her head spinning. “Is this why you asked me whether I cheated on Hoseok or not? Because you made a bet on it?”
“Are you mad?” Ashley asked.
Y/N thought about it for a moment, before releasing a long breath. “I think I’m supposed to be. The truth is that my emotions have been all over the place this past month.”
“You want to talk about it? Jokes aside, I’m really here to help.”
The other smiled at her friend. Perhaps it was best to let it out, after all, instead of keeping it all in. “I can’t explain what I’m feeling, Ash.” Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “It’s totally stupid, I know. Completely foolish. Definitely useless. I’m with the most perfect guy, literally the most perfect guy in the whole world. He’s sweet, smart, funny and attentive. He makes me feel loved, he makes sure I don’t need for anything. He’s the perfect man to build a family and grew old with. I know I love him, I never doubted it, not even once.” she rumbled on. “But when I’m with him ... I feel this thing. It’s like a pull, yes, like there’s a magnet between us. He just does something to me, he messes with my head. And I’ve been trying to fight it but it’s so ... I swear if I wasn’t with someone else I would have already jumped him.” she confessed all of a sudden. She never had said it out loud. “Oh my god, what did I just say? Oh my God.” Y/N gasped hiding her face behind her hands. “This is so stupid. I’m a terrible person. This is our secret, okay? Promise me to not tell Namjoon! Shit, never tell my brother either!”
“Y/N, they already know.” Ashley smiled at her sadly. “We’ve been watching you guys gravitate around each other for a while now.”
The other girl furrowed her brows. “We do?”
Ashley nodded fervently. “You said it yourself, you’re like too magnets. You might not have been conscious about it, but it’s always been there.”
“How can that be?” Y/N questioned. “Yesterday was the first time anything happened between us.”
“What? Holding hands under the table?” Ashley giggled. “That’s nothing compared to the way you look at each other. Haven’t you noticed the way he has to force himself to look away from you sometimes? Or even the way you guys joke around, how you tease each other.”
Y/N didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t entirely sure she knew what her friend was talking about. “He looks at me?” she repeated dumbfoundedly.
“He does.” Ashley nodded once more. “A lot actually.”
“How come I’ve never noticed?” she murmured.
“I don’t know. Maybe you guys were too caught up in pretending to be just friends to realize what was really happening. You do it too, you know? Look at him with hearts in your eyes.” she clarified.
“I don’t look at him with hearts in my eyes.” Y/N exclaimed slightly offended.
“Maybe not at first.’ Ashley conceded. “But tell you what, I’m able to exactly tell you when you stopped thinking about him as only your friend.”
Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. “Please enlighten me because I still have to figure that out myself.”
“Last May you run into him one morning while jogging, remember? I do because you spent a whole hour talking about it on the phone.”
“I did not!” she cried out.
“Yes, you did!” Ashley exclaimed pointing a finger at her. “You called me saying you wanted to catch up but the truth is you needed to talk to someone about your feelings for him. Even if you weren’t aware of it yet. You were all ‘Jungkook is so this’, ‘Jungkook is so that’, ‘I’m so happy that we’re friends again’ and bla bla bla.” she mimicked her friend. “That’s the moment the things shifted.” she added fervently. “That’s when you stopped being friends.”
Y/N looked at her with wide eyes, trying to process what she had said. She tried remembering that phone call, but she couldn’t. Yes, she remembered calling Ashley as soon as she had gone home, but she couldn’t recall what their conversation had been about. “I - Are you sure I did that?”
“I am.” Ashley nodded. “If its of any consolation, Jungkook did the same with Yoongi. He created the group chat right after.”
“Yoongi created the group chat?” Y/N asked taken by surprise.
The other girl giggled. “I think he might be your number one fan, actually.”
“So what are you guys saying? That we’re in love with each other?” Y/N mumbled after a moment of silence.
“You tell me.” Ashley replied sweetly, understanding her friends struggle.
“I love Hoseok.” Y/N responded automatically.
“But are you in love with him?”
That seemed such a stupid question at first, didn’t she just answer that? But then she spotted the difference. Being in love. Over the past month she had repeated over and over again that she loved Hoseok. Of course she did, she cared for him. But was she still in love with him?
“He’s perfect.” she whispered to herself.
Ashley smiled at her sadly. “This is going to sound so cliche ... He might be perfect, but maybe he is not perfect for you.”
Y/N felt tears prickling the corner of her eyes, her heart slowly coming to terms with the reality. “He’s done so much for me.”
“I know.”
“He’s such a great man.” she cried. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Of course, not.” Ashley replied, taking her friends hand in hers. “But neither did you, Y/N There’s nothing wrong in falling out of love with someone.”
At her words Y/N started sobbing, she had finally stopped denying what deep down she already knew. She was overwhelmed by the pain, she had never felt anything like it. The idea of hurting someone as precious as Hoseok killed her, her heart aching in such a way that it took her breath away. Ashley stood up to hug her friend from behind, feeling her body shake against hers.
“What am I going to do?” she sobbed.
“I think you already know.”
The days after her conversation with Ashley weren’t easy for Y/N. She had spent the rest of the day crying her eyes out, laying on her bed. Her friend had stayed with her until she fell asleep from the exhaustion and left only because she had to go to work. As soon as she was outside the apartment she called her boyfriend and Y/N’s long time best friend, Namjoon, who didn’t think twice before asking Seokjin the spare keys for his sister’s apartment.
He stayed with her for the rest of the afternoon, giving her words of comfort and understanding, cooling her some ramen and making sure that she drank some water. He had never saw his friend like this, not even Jungkook’s break up had had this effect on her. It was probably the fact that she had anger on her side that time, she had a reason to hate him and that had helped her to move on. This time was different, Hoseok didn’t cheat on her, he didn’t lie to her, he didn’t do anything wrong. He had been the perfect partner despite the distance.
Namjoon had no idea what it felt like, discovering that you didn’t love someone anymore, someone with whom you’ve made lifetime plans with, someone you thought would always be by your side. But looking at her best friend, staring far away in the distance with her eyes all red from crying, he hoped he would never have the chance to discover it.
Y/N had to gather all of her courage and energy to be able to go to work the next morning. The last person she wanted to see that moment was Jungkook, a part of her blamed him for everything: if they hadn’t met again, nothing of this would have happened, she would be still happily in love with Hoseok.
Of course, she knew he was only a scapegoat.
Unfortunately, she had forgotten that Jungkook had promised to pick her up every morning to go to work together, so she had to meet him before she was ready.
The ride to the hospital was silent and uncomfortable. The boy had noticed her swollen eyes immediately and thought better than ask her about it. Y/N didn’t even try to pretend that she was fine, she didn’t care if he was curious, if he was worried.
They didn’t speak to each other for the rest of the day, Y/N made sure that she was always as far from him as possible. All she wanted was to stay away from the man with whom she supposedly fell in love with.
That day turned out to be the worst day of her life. With everything that was going on inside her head, she was too distracted. She wasn’t able to answer to half of Dr. Park’s questions, had to rewrite some of the charts and lost herself on the fourth floor. To make things worst, Y/N had to lead her first code blue, the patient didn’t make it and she had to question her actions for the rest of the shift, wondering if she could have done something more.
The rest of the week didn’t turn out to be any better. She kept avoiding Jungkook who had now gone from worried for her to angry with her. He had tried to start a conversation, trying to understand why was she so mad at him because, really, he had no clue.
Jungkook wasn’t the only one she was treating with the cold shoulder. She had started ignoring Hoseok’s calls too, feeling guilty but not yet ready to do what she knew she had to do. She would send him short messages, making excuses and promising to call him back. She was being coward and she knew it.
Finding the courage to break up with someone wasn’t easy at all. Especially when that someone was Hoseok, the definition of good.
Her feelings for Jungkook had taken a back seat. She wasn’t even sure yet that what she felt for him was actually love. And the thought that she was breaking someone’s heart for something so uncertain pained her even more.
But nevertheless, what mattered was she couldn’t be with someone she didn’t love anymore, because no matter how painful it was, it wasn’t fair to neither of them.
At the end of the third week of July, eight days after Y/N had started acting strange around him, Jungkook had finally had enough.
She was walking towards the intern’s locker room, ready for her night shift, when she felt a hand grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her throughout the corridor.
“Jungkook!” she shouted, recognizing his black hair and broad shoulders. “What are you doing?!”
“I’m kidnapping you.” he answered sternly pushing her inside a small deposit room and closing the door behind him, blocking her only way out. “What the hell is going on?”
Y/N took an instinctive step back, looking away from him. “Nothing’s going on.”
“Don’t play stupid.” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “We both know that you’re not stupid. You’ve been awfully distracted this week, you haven’t been answering any of our messages on the group chat and ...” he took a deep breath. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I wasn’t avoiding you.” she lied poorly.
“Please. Y/N. Tell me what’s going on.” he pleaded taking a step towards her and reaching out his hand to take hers. . She took another one back, surprising him. The last time she had avoided his touch was four years ago. It was a painful memory for both of them. “Is it ... Is it because of the other night? At the pub?” he murmured hesitantly. “Because if that’s what has been on your mind ... We can forget about it if you want.” he said slowly.
Y/N bit her lip. She wasn’t ready for this conversation yet. “Jungkook ...” she sighed. “It’s not that.” Not entirely, at least, she thought.
“What is it then?” he asked softly. He tried reaching out for her hand again. This time she couldn’t find it in her to deny him.
She had taken his hand a thousand times before when they were together, she always enjoyed how small it looked compared to his, yet this time it felt different.
I think I’m in love with you, she wanted to tell him. But you have Lisa and I have Hoseok. I’m going to break his heart for you.
Y/N closed her eyes, trying to push the tears away and trying to ignore the way Jungkook was looking at her, like he would give his right hand to make her smile again. Was this the look Ashley was talking about? Had he really been looking at her like this? How could she miss it?
“I broke up with Lisa.” Jungkook suddenly confessed making her open her eyes in shock.
“You what ...” she gasped.
He squeezed her hand tighter, a determined yet fearful look on his face. “I broke up with Lisa.” he repeated. “Two weeks ago. I haven’t told anyone.”
Y/N released a shaky breath. “W-why?”
“Because I didn’t love her anymore.” he said. “I think I never really loved her.”
Y/N’s mind went blank. She looked down on her shoes, she could feel herself trembling. “Why are you telling me this?”
Jungkook took a deep breath, intertwining their fingers together. “You know why.”
Her heart started hammering inside her chest like crazy, her ears ringing.
What was he saying? That he left her for her? Why? Where was this coming from? What was she supposed to do now? Should he tell him that she was thinking about living Hoseok, too? What would that imply? That they should start dating each other again? She wasn’t sure she was ready for that. She had barely come to terms with all of her feelings. This was too much all of a sudden.
“The portrait,” he started saying, his voice trembling. “Your portrait, I’ve kept it because I couldn’t find the courage to throw it away, even after all this years. Y/N ... It might have been easy for you to forget me back then, but it wasn’t for me. It still isn’t.” he confessed. “You weren’t a fling for me. I fell in love with you. Everyday since that morning four years ago, I’ve regretted letting you go. Finding you again, being friends with you again, is the greatest thing that happened to me since then. But it’s not enough for me. Not anymore.”
Y/N felt paralized, she didn’t know what to say. She just looked at him with her mouth half open, his words repeating themselves inside her head.
“Please say something.” Jungkook pleaded once again.
Even in a moment like this Y/N couldn’t help herself but to find him handsome. His brows where furrowed in worry, his big doe eyes shone despite the dim light. Jungkook was beautiful and he had just confessed his feelings for her. Yet she couldn’t speak, as if she didn’t know how.
She watched defiantly as his expression changed with every second passing in silence. She saw the exact moment all the hope left his body but still didn’t anything to stop it.
“Okay.” he murmured in surrender, slowly letting go of her hand. “Okay.”
He turned her back at her, ready to leave. She could have stopped him, he had given her one last chance to, yet she didn’t.
And so he left, leaving her alone inside the deposit room.
It took Y/N three whole days to understand fully what had happened. It took both Ashley’s and Namjoon’s scolding for her to realize that she was about to ruin something beautiful, again. It took Yoongi’s message reading ‘Jungkook told us what happened. Whatever you decide to do, please don’t close us out again. We love you, all three of us.’ for her to decide that enough was enough. It took Seokjin banging like a mad man on her apartment door for her to finally gather the courage to do what she needed to do.
It took Y/N a total of eleven days since her conversation with Ashley to finally break up with Hoseok.
“Hey.” he had responded at the fifth ring.
“Hey.”
They both sighed on each other’s side of the call. A few moments of silence followed as they listened to each other’s breathing.
“Y/N ...” he sighed.
“Yeah?”
“I’m supposed to fly there in two days.”
She closed her eyes, the first tears falling down her cheeks.
“I know.”
A pause. “Do you want me to?”
“I don’t know.” she replied weakly. “Do you?”
“I don’t know.” he repeated. She heard him taking a deep breath. “It’s over, isn’t?”
Y/N bit her tongue, trying to suppress a sob. “You’re perfect, Hoseok.” she cried. “We were perfect together.”
“We were.” he cried as well.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Me too.”
They listened to each other’s cries in silence, feeling the gravity of the moment.
“I never resigned from the dance studio.” Hoseok suddenly confessed with a broken voice. “I never bought the plane ticket.”
Y/N didn’t feel angry as she was supposed to, instead she felt relieved. She smiled through the tears. “That’s your place.”
“It is.” he agreed sadly. “Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
Another pause. “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore.”
Y/N felt her heart squeeze in pain. She put a hand over her chest, trying to ease the pain and started crying even harder. He felt the same.
“I think I’m in love with Jungkook.” she confessed before she could question whether it was right or wrong. Nevertheless she felt a burden lifting from her shoulders once the words came out. She didn’t want anything to be left unsaid between them.
Hoseok sobbed on the other side of the phone. “I’m not going to ask you if something happened between you two ...”
“It didn’t!” she interrupted him immediately, she didn’t want him to think that she had disrespected him and their relationship. “I swear.”
“I’m not going to ask you,” he continued. “Because it wouldn’t change anything.”
This was it. It was over. Nothing they could say would turn back things around.
“I really am sorry, Hoseok.”
“Me too, Y/N.” he said trying to calm down his breathing. “I think I’ve known that it was over for quite some time now, but I’ve been trying to act normal because I thought it was only the distance. I wasn’t brave enough to face the truth.”
Y/N wanted to laugh: the idea that even in a moment like this the two of them had the same thoughts was sadly ironic.
“I really thought you were the one, you know?”
“I thought so too.”
There was another moment of silence in which the both of them calmed themselves listening to the other’s steady breathing, preparing for the final goodbye.
“Do you think we could be friends some day?” Y/N asked sincerely curious.
“Not for some time.” Hoseok smiled.
She nodded in understanding. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”
“Thank you for being my best supporter.”
“I still am.” she smiled.
“I’ll send you the link to the music video.” he joked.
“I’ll be waiting for it.” she giggled softly.
They lingered another minute in silence, savoring their last moment as a couple.
“Goodbye, Hoseok.”
“Goodbye, Y/N.” he hang up.
Staring at the screen of her phone she felt one last tear falling. She looked at the flower vase that was sitting on her nightstand. Ashley had gifted it to her the day before.
“These are daffodils.” her note had read. “They represent rebirth, new beginnings.”
She smiled.
A week later Y/N woke up in at 3 a.m. in the morning. She had another dream about Jungkook. She had been having a lot of them lately, some of them innocent, some of them not.
After her break up she had decided to give herself some needed time to put the pieces of her life back together. Truth be told, everything happened way to fast.
She told herself that before giving Jungkook an answer she had to be 100% sure that she really wanted to be with him. He deserved that at least.
Jungkook, rightfully so after he had lost all hope to be with Y/N again, had started giving the same treatment she had given him a week prior: he avoided her. Those few times she was able to steal a better look at him, Y/N noticed that he looked paler and had dark circles under her eyes. She couldn’t believe that she never saw his feelings for what they really were, Jungkook had the most expressive eyes she ever saw. And she called herself an intelligent person.
More than once Y/N had to fight the urge to just grab him from the collar of his scrubs and just kiss the hell out of him and put an end to both of their misery. That would serve a lesson as well to those girls who kept flirting with him everywhere he went.
That night, at 3 a.m., had woken up from a very vivid dream. A distant memory. Their first kiss.
It was New Years Eve and Namjoon had dragged her to this beach party because he wanted to see his crush. There, she run into Jungkook. As the people around them started counting down for midnight, he had taken her hand and had run with her over a hill. With the fireworks exploding behind them he had taken her face in his hands and had kissed her. In the most passionate way.
Reliving that moment brought chills to her spine and before she could second guess she jumped out of the bed, put on her running shoes and grabbed her house keys.
She run. She run down the stairs of her building, run around the park until she got to Yoongi and Jungkook’s shared apartment in record time. She took a deep breath and pushed their name on the intercom. Once, twice, three times until Yoongi’s raspy from sleep voice answered.
“Who the hell is it.”
“It’s me, Y/N.” she replied a little out of breath. “Open the door.”
“Y/N?” he exclaimed dumbfounded. “You better have an explaining for this.”
“I do. Please, open the door. I need to talk to Jungkook.”
There was a pause before the door finally opened. She climbed the stairs two at a time. Yoongi was already waiting for her, hair all over the place.
“If you didn’t come here to tell him that you love him I’m going to call the police on you.” he threatened.
Y/N smiled at him widely before jumping into his arms to give him a quick hug. “You can go back to sleep, Yoongi.”
Without waiting for his reply she walked briskly towards Jungkook’s bedroom and opened his door quietly. She knew that he was still asleep, not even a cannon ball could wake him up at this hour.
She tiptoed to his bed and layed beside him under the covers. He was beautiful even in his sleep, with his mouth open and a little bit of snoring. She put an arm around his chest, hugging him and waiting for him to feel her presence. It took him a few seconds.
He turned to his side and put an arm around her body, engulfing her into his own. “Y/N.” he mumbled, his eyes still closed. “Is this a dream?”
She smiled, putting a hand on his cheek. Enough waiting. Enough denying. “It’s not.”
“You’re really here?” he asked with a doubtful and cute pout.
“I am.” she whispered back. She snuggled closer to him.
Jungkook then slowly opened his eyes only to find Y/N’s staring right back at him. His breath hitched. “Y/N.”
“Hey.”
“What are you doing here?”
“What do you think?’ she smiled caressing the skin under his eye with her thumb. She wanted to kiss away those dark circles.
“I’m not fully awake yet.” he admitted making her laugh.
“Go back to sleep then.”
“You’re staying here?” he asked his eyes already half closed.
“Do you want me to leave?”
He shook his head. “No. Stay right here.” he sighed contentedly as she snuggled closer, their nose grazing one another. “I haven’t slept well for days.”
“I know.” she whispered, her breath fanning over his lips.
“I’m really tired.” he whispered back inching closer.
“I know.” she repeated.
“I might be having hallucinations.”
Y/N sighed, slightly annoyed. “You’re not.”
“So if I kiss you, you’re not gonna disappear?”
“I’m not.”
“Good.” and then his lips were on hers.
It was slow and gentle. They savored each other’s taste, long forgotten but still familiar. They trembled in each other’s arms and breathed the other’s breath. It was just as magical as Y/N’s dream. Just as magical as the first time.
Once they separated she heard Jungkook sigh once again. “Please tell me you left Hoseok.” he pleaded, his voice unsteady.
“I did.” she assured him hiding her face in the curve oh his neck. He smelled like beautiful memories.
Jungkook stayed silent for a minute, hugging her closer to him, if that was even possible. “We have a lot to talk about.”
“I know.” she nodded. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow at breakfast.”
“Ice americano, grande with two extra shots?”
She smiled against his skin. “And a chocolate muffin.”
They listened to each other’s breathing until they started falling asleep once more. Both happier that they’ve ever been over the past month.
“Y/N?” Jungkook suddenly called her.
“Mmmh?” she mumbled half in the arms of Morpheus.
“If this is your way of saying you love me too, it’s a little bit creepy.”
“Shut up.”
Now I understand why it took you longer to finish this. The story is so complex. I love Hoseok's character so much. He's so kind-hearted and bright. And I love his friendship with Taehyung. They are like happy puppies when they are with each other. And the Queen and Princess are so kind and supportive. I wish people like them ruled the countries nowadays. For some this might be another fantasy story, but it has deeper meaning, talking about issue of real the real world - sexism. Sibi you are truly a genious.
“Being a sorcerer has always been Hoseok’s dream. So when a well-known and powerful sorceress sends out letters informing the young minds of the city of an upcoming position as her apprentice, Hoseok takes fate into his own hands and applies. The only problem is that learning the arts of magic is reserved for women. He is convinced however that hard work and effort can charm the sorceress’ heart and get him the position.”
Pairing: Magic Student!Hoseok x Magic Student!Reader
Genre: Fantasy!AU, Magic School!AU, s2f2potential lovers!AU, Romance
Warnings: lots of plot, 90% of this is written from Hoseok’s POV, Queendom!Tae being the bestest friend, they’re both so adorable, the students are mean to him at first :(, except for reader heheh she is a sweetheart <3, also idk if this is important but i got inspired by Elden Ring as far as some names are concerned istfg best game <3, this will have a second part where reader’s pov plays a bigger part and the romance is gonna be bigger as well <3, for now this story is very magic & Hobi’s journey to magic centered, but also some romantic tension is present as well hngngn, istfg i love this universe
Wordcount: 17.8k of 24.3k
✴ Part One of Two ✴
Hoseok stumbles into Taehyung’s room without knocking. The young prince startles slightly, gasping in surprise.
“Tae! Tae, I have news!” Hoseok calls out and stumbles to his friend.
“What is it? Are you feeling alright?” Taehyung asks.
He was in the midst of painting with some tea for sipping on the side, when Hoseok interrupted him. The latter lets himself fall down on the chair next to Taehyung, taking out a flyer from his chest pocket. He slams it on the table, looking at Taehyung excitedly.
Taehyung scans his eyes over his friend first. His long white hair is ruffled as if he ran quite some distance. His chest is heaving up and down quickly and his flushed face carries a thin layer of sweat. So he really must have been running.
Taehyung looks at the flyer next. It is of yellowish paper with purple ink soaking the fibres. The message is rather short. Short, but effective.
New Apprentices Wanted. Come to Sorceress Selen’s tower if interested.
“Oh? The sorceress seeks an apprentice?”
“Yes, indeed she does. Do you have an idea what that means?”
Taehyung furrows his brows in thought.
“Perhaps that there will be a new sorceress soon?”
“A new sorcerer you mean.”
Taehyung widens his eyes, gawking at Hoseok.
“Yes”, Hoseok says and nods his head excitedly, “I am going to become her apprentice.”
“Are you having a jest with me?”
“I am not. I will go to her tower and prove to her that I am fitting for a magical student.”
“But…you are a boy. No boy ever learned magic before.”
“This isn’t true. There are sorcerers.”
“Yes, perhaps in faraway lands but not here.”
“Well, then I am going to be the first one from these lands”, Hoseok says and grins.
Taehyung needs a few moments to regain his thoughts. Such news are of great surprise to him. He knew of Hoseok’s wishes to learn magic, but to truly have him act on them is shocking. No boy has ever tried what he wants to try. Oh, Taehyung is truly flabbergasted by his friend’s plan.
“But what about your life here? At court? As my lord-in-waiting?” Taehyung asks.
Hoseok falters.
“Do you not want to be my lord of court anymore?” Taehyung asks and pouts sadly.
Hoseok lowers his eyes, “but my dreams”, he whispers.
“Is it your really dream to become a sorcerer?”
“It always has been. You know that it has.”
“You always talked about moving the stars one day. Even when we were just little.”
“Exactly. Oh Tae”, Hoseok takes Taehyung’s hands, “I know I sound as if I have lost my mind, but I truly think that I could convince her to take me as her apprentice. I want to take this chance, perhaps there won’t ever be another like it.”
“And if you do and she agrees, you won’t forget me, will you?” Taehyung asks with great insecurity on his features.
“Of course I won’t. Oh Tae, why would you even worry about such things? You are my best friend. No, you are more than that. You are my brother and I won’t ever forget you.”
Taehyung smiles shyly, “that is so good to hear. I want you to accomplish your dreams. My dream has always been to paint and write poetry and sing songs and these days, I can do all these things and more. It would be unfair of me to stop you from achieving your dreams. Forgive me for my initial distaste.”
“No do not apologise, I understand your grievances. I will miss my life here. I love being your lord of court.”
“I love it as well. I love our conversations in the orange gardens and sharing chocolates after dinner”, Taehyung says and giggles.
Hoseok giggles as well, nodding his head in agreement.
“And swimming in the lagoons”, he says to which Taehyung agrees with a scrunch of his nose.
Their laughter dies down naturally. Hoseok lets out a loud sigh, sagging his shoulders.
“Maybe nothing will change in the end. Oh Tae, I am terribly nervous. What if the sorceress refuses to even hear me out?”
“I am sure that you will do great. We could practice your speech together.”
“You would really help me? I do not know where to start or what I need.”
“Yes, that is true. Me neither”, Taehyung says and tilts his head to the side. He scratches his chin. Suddenly his eyes light up.
“What did you think of?” Hoseok asks excitedly.
“Shall we look in the library? Perhaps we could ask Mistress Qela if she knows how to write applications”, Taehyung suggests.
“Yes, what a wonderful idea. We should go this instance.”
The two young men leave Taehyung’s recreation room, chatting about the endless possibilities once Hoseok mastered magic. They talk about making flowers with his fingers and giving oranges a sweeter taste. They dream about making pretty shells appear on shore and of Taehyung’s paints never running out again. All the great, revolutionary spells they do not speak for their minds never wandered there.
Mistress Qela is sitting by her desk, surrounded by scriptures and books and with her silver haired cat keeping her company.
“Mistress Qela?”
The elderly dwarf lifts her head upon being called. She fixes the reading glasses perched atop her nose and places her writing feather aside.
“Young prince Taehyung”, she says, standing up to bow at him.
“Please stay comfortable.”
Despite his words, she finishes her bow before sitting down again. She runs her eyes over the young prince first, then his young servant by his side.
“What brings you here, Sire?”
“Show him the letter, Hoseok.”
Hoseok takes out the flyer and places it on the table. Mistress Qela scoots to the edge of her seat and begins reading with a loud clear of her throat. She is running her fingers through her greying beard as she does, keeping her bushy brows furrowed.
“It seems that the sorceress Selen is seeking new apprentices”, she concludes.
“Yes indeed and Hoseok wants to fill the position, but we do not know how to write an application. Mistress Qela, could you help us?”
The dwarf runs her eyes over the two young men, carrying a stern expression on her face. Seconds pass like this where she stares and they allow her to do so nervously.
“Very well”, she says in the end and slides from her chair, “follow me, young ones. There are books in these halls which will help you”, she says and stomps away. She won’t comment on Hoseok’s dreams for it wasn’t her right to do so. She is aware how possible some impossible dreams are. She herself was called a foolish girl by her tribe for wanting to be become a librarian instead of a miner. She will always offer understanding for the dreams of young people even if others might call them foolish.
The books they seek are on the second floor in a high shelf where a window next to it allows sunlight to enter. Just a few shelves down, there is a desk with chairs and candles for light. It is currently empty.
Mistress Qela points at the shelves which are just out of reach for her.
“You will find what you are looking for here. Do not hesitate to ask me for help however. Have a good read, my young ones”, she says and turns to stomp back to her scriptures.
“Thank you, Mistress Qela!” Hoseok and Taehyung call after her.
Soon the dwarf disappears down the stairs.
“So, where shall we start? Shall we look for books each?” Taehyung suggests.
“Yes, that is a very good idea”, Hoseok agrees.
The young men spend the rest of their day in the library. They read books, scriptures and writings. They compose practice applications and note down new knowledge whenever they stumble upon it. They discuss the important parts and exchange possible phrases to use.
They are so lost in their research, that they do not hear the dinner bell, nor witness when Mistress Qela leaves for her bedchambers. They most definitely would have continued to be lost if Taehyung’s wife, the princess of the Sand Queendom, hadn’t looked for them.
“My darling one?”
Neither Taehyung nor Hoseok hear her and the princess has to try three more times before they finally lift their heads.
“Oh? My darling one”, Taehyung gasps, stumbling from his chair to hurry to her. He takes her hands, guiding them to his lips to kiss her knuckles.
Hoseok is standing as well, bowing his head deeply.
“What are you doing here?” Taehyung asks her.
“I could ask you the same thing. You were missed at dinner and it is way past our bedtime. I was worried.”
“Forgive me, my darling one but I am helping Hoseok with his application”, he says.
“Application?”
He guides her to the desk, showing her what they have been working on. The flyer of the sorceress is also on the desk.
“The sorceress is seeking a new apprentice and Hoseok wants to apply. We spent all day on perfecting his application”, Taehyung explains, “look. What do you think of it?”
The princess looks at Hoseok, ignoring the papers her husband is trying to show her.
“You want to leave your position as lord-in-waiting?” she asks.
“Yes, your highness”, he says, lowering his head in respect, “please forgive the sudden news. I planned on telling you and the Queen tomorrow. Please forgive me.”
“But men are forbidden from learning magic.”
“I know, your highness”, he lowers his head even more, “I thought that I could try. At least. Perhaps it could work.”
“I see”, she says and finally looks at the paper. She sits down where once Taehyung sat and picks up a writing feather, reading through the application. The two men watch her in silence. She nods her head sometimes and fixes mistakes, she also praises some parts whilst correcting others.
“It reads well”, she finishes the letter, “I shall ask mother to write you a letter of recommendation and I believe that with it and this application you will have good chances.”
“What?!” the two man exclaim at the same time.
“You have no problem with his plans?” Taehyung gets out.
“You aren’t angry at me?” Hoseok blurts out.
The princess chuckles, shaking her head.
“Why should I? I know that you dream of being a sorcerer and you are my friend as well. I want to support you”, she says.
“Oh my darling”, Taehyung says and pulls her up just to hug her tightly.
She laughs, accepting it with closed eyes.
“You are truly the most wonderful person”, he says and kisses her cheek.
“You are adorable”, she says.
“Thank you so much, your highness. You do not know how much this means to me”, Hoseok says, bowing so deeply he almost folds himself in half.
“Please do not thank me too soon. We will still have to get you through the part trickiest, which is getting her to even hear you out.”
“But with the Queen’s letter of recommendation it could work, couldn’t it? Oh! I could write one as well. So two people of power speak highly of him. You could write one as well, my darling one.”
“Fine, I shall write one as well. But first, you two need to have your dinner and then get your sleep. You have bodies to nourish besides your research”, she says and begins pushing them away from the desk gently.
The Queen agrees to the letter without hesitation. She is quite taken by the idea that the first sorcerer of these lands could be one of her servants. She tells the court on the same day and soon talk about Hoseok’s dream is heard in every corner of the castle. Excitement is grande. Young master Hoseok will be the first ever sorcerer and Castle Sandrock will be known as his once loving home. So the people talk. The Queen even lets her trusted dressmakers create a most elegant gown for him so he could look his best and offers one of her carriages for him to take to the tower so he didn’t have to sweat through his new dress. One week later, Hoseok has everything he needs for the most compelling application and the day of his attempt can no longer be postponed.
The courtyard is busy with life on his day of leaving – even if he will return by nightfall again, it is after all just a conversation – and the day has been good till now. There were celebrations in the servant wing during breakfast and good cheers in the court room during lunch. Hoseok accepted it with burning cheeks and constant confessions that he feels unworthy of such support. Nobody acknowledged him and the celebrations continued. The Queen and her husband are standing by the carriage. Taehyung and his wife are beside them.
“I shall pray for your success”, the Queen says.
“I believe that you will be successful”, her husband says.
“Thank you so much, your highness. I do not know how to be worthy of such support”, Hoseok says, bowing deeply.
“Just come home with good news.”
“I will, my Queen. At least, I hope I will.”
The Queen laughs fondly, “I am most certain that you will.”
The princess presses a piece of fresh cake into his hands. It is wrapped in a silken handkerchief and still warm from the stone ovens. The faint smell of butter and vanilla comes with it.
“Fresh pearl cake for you”, she says, “I find its sweet taste calms me down in nervous moments. Perhaps it can aid you as well.”
“Thank you, your highness”, Hoseok says, bowing in gratitude.
“May the goddesses be with you.”
“Thank you, your highness”, Hoseok says, bowing deeper.
Taehyung doesn’t say his goodbyes because he promised to come with Hoseok. The two friends get into the carriage together and accompanied by music and cheers, they leave the courtyard for the tower.
The drive through the city is calm. The day is still young, but life is already busy. The merchants are promoting their fresh goods with loud calls and chants, the seagulls fly high above the painted roofs in search of an easy snack and many people use the sunny morning to get their shopping done. Hoseok doesn’t feel his nerves in the city because he has something to look at and listen to.
The tower of the sorceress is in a calmer area of the city, passed the two inner most walls and at the end of a steep road. It is walled in, but its gates are always open, and consists of not only the high tower but two buildings as well, which are used as housing for magical students and work rooms, as well as a shop which sells magical goods made by the students. Behind the high walls, a luscious garden offers everything the eyes and nose desire. Fruit trees and vegetable beds are always rich with their bearings, offering nourishment to people who might struggle with hunger. Flowers are always in bloom, filling the air with their sweet scents. Old trees offer shade to anyone who might need it and the big fountains offer clear water, which never runs out.
The carriage comes to a stop. Big formations of purple crystal sticks out from the ground, glimmering in the light and on the shop porch cats are napping in the warmth. Glimmering clouds of purple magic traverse the air, giving everyone who might walk through such a cloud a sensation of clarity.
“It seems that we have arrived”, Taehyung says, studying the tower with wondrous eyes. Magic keeps the garden healthy and rich despite the hot weather and rainless days. The roof and window frames are coated with golden paint, reflecting the light and in the high above chambers purple curtains sway in the breeze.
“This looks beautiful”, he says, “you have windows here as well. Oh and they are so big.”
Hoseok can barely hear his friend’s excited words for he is too occupied with gawking at the stream of excited girls and young women flooding the tower gates with dreams of a brighter future. So many people came today.
Hoseok closes the curtain and gulps.
Taehyung reaches over to pat his knee.
“Nervous?” he asks.
“Frightened. Have you seen all these people? How should I even stand a chance?”
“You stand a chance because you are you and you deserve it.”
“Shall we turn around again? Let us turn around again.”
“No”, Taehyung shakes his head vigorously, “no, you have worked so hard for this. At least try. If it fails, you can say that you tried your best, otherwise you will already have failed.”
Hoseok gives in with a sigh, “you are right. Oh Taehyung, I am so nervous.”
“Don’t be, you will do wonderful in there”, Taehyung assures him and stands up to hug his best friend, “if you get too scared, think of me. I will wait right here outside these walls and think positive things about you.”
Hoseok smiles, “thank you. This makes me feel better.”
“Now go in there and show everyone why you deserve to study magic”, Taehyung says and smiles.
Hoseok frowns in dedication, “I will show everyone, yes I will.”
“That is the spirit! I am cheering for you”, Taehyung says and stays by the carriage while Hoseok leaves for the gates. He waves his friend until the masses swallow him. He releases a sigh of contentment, turning to his guard, “what say you? I saw a small shop filled with art down this road. Do you believe that we have time to visit it?”
“I believe we do, my lord.”
“Very well, then I want to go there.”
“Yes, my lord.”
Hoseok clutches his bag with both hands, trying not the look left and right in fear of seeing the judgemental eyes of others. He can feel them surround him, shrinking him more and more the closer to the tower he gets. He is aware that he is wrong here, but it still hurts to feel it so obviously. Most of the people are too busy with their own nervousness to care however.
“Leave me alone, you old hag!”
A loud voice calls Hoseok’s attention. An old, clearly weak woman tried to seek support on an arm of one of the women storming into the castle. The latter is slapping her hands away, calling her an “old hag” once again.
Hoseok stops in his steps. None else does. He watches for a few more moments to see if the situation resolves itself. The young woman storms off with her friends, leaving the old woman stranded by the wall. She looks helpless, trying so very hard to pick up herself up, but failing miserably as her own age betrays her. People pass her, but nobody helps.
Hoseok furrows his brows and runs to her.
“Forgive me, do you need help?” he asks, stretching out his hands to her.
The old woman lifts her head slowly, squinting her eyes to see better.
“Oh? Young boy, you come at my lowest times. I walked along these walls before I felt the sugar in my blood sink and now I have also dropped my bags. I cannot get up. Oh, these aren’t good times to see me, young boy.”
Hoseok squats down beside her
“Please, worry not”, he assures her, “may I place my hand on you to support you?”
“Yes, young boy.”
Hoseok does it gently and carefully, rubbing her arm slowly.
“Worry not, we will just sit here for a while until the drowsiness passes”, he says and offers her his waterskin, “please drink something. Clear water, collected just this morning.”
“Oh? Oh goddesses be pleased, thank you”, she accepts it.
Hoseok helps her drink from it. Next he offers her all his pearl cake.
“I couldn’t.”
“Pearl cake. It contains sugars. I wouldn’t want you to lose consciousness.”
“Are you certain, young boy? I have already robbed you of your water, I do not want to steal your food as well.”
“I wish to give this to you. You need it more than I do”, he says and smiles. When she still hesitates, he breaks off a small piece, offering it to her.
“Oh, young boy. You are too good to me”, she says and accepts it. She eats it, chewing it with the little amount of teeth she still has left, “oh it is wonderful. So sweet and very delicate on my teeth”, she says and smiles to show off her gums.
Hoseok laughs fondly, “you have a bright smile.”
“It was brighter in my youth”, she jokes, making him snicker.
“I am sure it was.”
“Thank you, young boy. You can go now if you wish to. I can manage on my own.”
Hoseok however dismisses her with a shake of his head, “I would feel terrible if I left you like this.”
“Oh, young boy you are too good to me.”
Hoseok and the old woman chat until she has finished the pearl cake and water. She tells him how she is on her way home from the market and that she bought all her food for the week. She looks ashamed when she tells him that she began to feel weak, but Hoseok assured her that there was no shame in it and that the days have been exhaustingly hot lately. She agreed with a nod of her head and a curse to the heavens for heating up the earth so much. Then she drifts off and begins telling stories from when she felt better and that she has a barely studied disease the doctors call diabetes. Hoseok asked for more information, but all she could tell him is that she can’t eat too many sweets as this could be dangerous, but also not too little as this would make her faint. He didn’t quite understand it, but she assured him that the doctors didn’t either yet. Then she asks if Hoseok had somewhere to be.
Hoseok looks over his shoulder. The roads are empty. His heart skips a panicked beat. How much time has passed? He looks back at the old woman and her innocent curiosity in her eyes.
“The sorceress’ tower”, he says and sighs in defeat, “I want to apply as her apprentice, but I do not know if this is even a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because I am a boy.”
“Well, you should still try.”
“You believe so?”
“Yes I really do”, she says and begins standing up with grunts.
“Wait! Let me help”, Hoseok says, stumbling to his feet hastily so he could support her.
“Oh, thank you young boy, thank you. Oh, my old bones aren’t what they used to be. Oh, aging is a curse”, she says and then tries to reach for her bags.
“Please, allow me”, he says, picking them up instead, “where is your home?”
“No, no I couldn’t. You need to go to the tower, not help an old woman carry her food.”
“I couldn’t leave you alone like this. What if the sugar in your blood sinks again?”
“Would you truly do this for an old hag?”
“You aren’t a hag. I wish to help you. Life is easier this way”, he says and offers her his arm to hold on to.
She takes it gladly, pointing west.
“My house is this way. It isn’t big, but it keeps the heat out. I couldn’t ask for more.”
“Then we shall walk there together. If you need to take a break, please let me know.”
They leave the tower gate behind in slow steps. Time still passes, but Hoseok can’t think about it right now. He really wants to help this woman, he doesn’t care how long it will take.
“Do you live close by as well, young man?”
“I live in this city, but I’m not from here.”
“You aren’t?”
“No, I come from the Snow Isles.”
“The Snow Isles? Oh this is so far away. What brings you so, so far away from home?”
“My best friend married a woman from here and I followed him.”
“A woman you say?”
“Yes, he was promised to her and I…” Hoseok falters. He doesn’t like to tell people who he really is because most people begin to feel inferior once they do. He doesn’t want people to feel as if they were less than him and so he lies, “…I came with him because he was scared to leave home. He is one year younger than me and we have been best friends since he was only eight months of age.”
“Eight months of age you say? And how old are you now?”
“I am twenty and three of age. He is still twenty and two. We have been here for more than two years now.”
“Oh, then you have known each other for a long time.”
“Yes, we have. He feels like a brother to me. He is still a little naïve sometimes, but his heart is at the right place. He supports me in my dream even if it is foolish.”
“And why is it foolish?”
“Because no boy was ever allowed in this school. We aren’t meant to learn magic.”
“Well, times can change. Don’t you think?”
“Yes, I do agree, but it is also a foolish thing to think.”
“No it isn’t. I do not know you, but I believe in you.”
“Thank you, this means a very lot to me.”
The woman lives quite far from the school. Hoseok doesn’t complain, supporting her until she is sitting safely in her own home. She talks about dizziness again and so Hoseok offers to cook something for her which will raise the sugar in her blood again. She refuses more times than not, talking about how she already stole too much of his time. But he didn’t care. He helped her. He put the food she bought aside and cooked a healthy meal for her. He stayed with her until she ate and then helped her relax her swollen feet. He would have also helped her in setting up her bed, but she managed to send him away before that, stuffing money into his hands for all he did.
“I couldn’t”, he refuses, shaking his head vigorously.
“Take it, please I insist.”
“But, this is your money. I couldn’t take it.”
“I wish to give this to you. The only thing I need from you is your name so I can include you in my prayers from now on.”
“Hoseok. My name is Hoseok, but please keep your money.”
“Hoseok”, she smiles, “I shall remember your name, Hoseok”, she says and pulls her hands away so he can’t attempt to place the money back into them.
Hoseok gives up with a sigh, bowing deeply.
“Thank you, I will spend the money well”, he lies, “perhaps we will see each other again. I will pray for your health as well.”
“Yes, I believe that we will see each other again”, she says and looks at him with a knowing glint in her eyes. Perhaps the light deceived him, but they looked purple for just a second. He shakes away the funny feeling and bows one last time.
Then he leaves, letting her think that he took the money. He slips it and one of his rings back under the door once he closed it, leaving before she could notice. He feels good about helping her until the hall of prayer close by reminds him of the time with loud calls of bells. Two hours. He spent two hours with this woman. The applications only last another hour.
Hoseok jumps into a full sprint, running back to the school even if the distance is grande. He has to be punctual! He has to get there in time! If he loses his chance because he didn’t run fast enough, he will forever blame himself! Quick! Run! Quick, quick, quick!
He arrives, heaving and panting. His clothes are soaked in his sweat, his head is just a little dizzy. The sun has never felt more punishing than it does right now.
He comes to a stop in a stumble, supporting himself by leaning his hands on his knees.
“What brings you here?” the guards ask him.
“I…am…here…for…the…appli…cations”, he is heaving out his words, barely managing to breathe.
“The doors are closed.”
“What?” he gasps, “no”, he shakes his head, “no, please allow me to enter. Please.”
The guards exchange an annoyed look.
“The doors are closed.”
Hoseok feels like crying. He came too late.
“Please”, he begs, “please I promise to be quiet, please.”
“Leave, boy. The doors are closed.”
Is it because he is a boy? Is that the reason?
“Is it because I am a boy?”
She curls her lips in distaste. The glimmer in her eyes lets him know that it truly was because he was a boy.
“No. You simply came too late.”
“But-”
“Leave before we make you”, she warns, flashing her eyes purple.
Hoseok takes a cautious step back. Anger, frustration, sadness, helplessness. He feels all of it. He is going to fail not because he came too late or didn’t impress the sorceress enough, but because the guards are cruel sexists.
“Please.”
“No. You-”
“Wait! Please wait!”, a girl stumbles next to Hoseok, coming to a stop with a squeak. She must have been running as well because sweat pearls have collected on her forehead, “forgive me, oh forgive me I arrived too late. Are the doors still open?”
The guards grind their teeth in annoyance. Hoseok stifles his victorious smile.
“Yes”, they press out and step aside.
“Thank you, oh thank you”, she says and hurries inside.
Hoseok follows her, looking over his shoulder to send the guards the smile he was hiding. He did it. Now nothing can stand in his way anymore.
There aren’t many people left in the waiting room. They all look at him as he passes the threshold. Whispers begin instantly, but Hoseok doesn’t care. He is too busy with recovering from the intense run. So much for taking a carriage so he wouldn’t ruin his new clothes. He looks as if he took a dive in the ocean. He reaches for his waterskin. Empty. He grunts, dropping his head against the wall in exhaustion. He is going to die in these halls.
Three other girls enter and leave the hearing room until Hoseok finally somehow recovers from his run. He scoots up the seats with the remaining girls, finally feeling ready to look around. They are staring at him. The girl which also arrived too late is missing. She must have already left.
One of them scrunches her nose at him in distaste.
“Why are you here?” she asks.
“The same as you”, he answers her snappishly because he recognises her. She was the one who abandoned the old woman.
“You aren’t allowed to be here.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No you’re not. This place is for girls only.”
“No, it is not.”
She scoffs in distaste. Others are chuckling quietly. Hoseok stands his ground, staring her down. She curls her lips.
“You are sweating, it’s revolting”, she says.
“That is because I just ran quite the distance and it is hot outside.”
“Well, I don’t like it. You look ugly.”
“Not as ugly as you.”
She gasps. The others around her do as well.
“Excuse me?” she hisses.
“I watched you abandon the old woman outside the walls. Your ugly soul makes you the ugliest here”, he says and turns his head away.
“How dare you! You come in here and insult me? Who do you think you are?”
Hoseok ignores her.
“I’m talking to you”, she hisses and reaches over to slap his arm harshly, “I said, I’m talking to you.”
Hoseok sends her a deathly glare and stands up to walk closer to the door.
“What’s your problem, why are you ignoring me?” she spits and jumps up to attack him again.
The door opens. The girl, who was just inside, stares as the scene unfolding. The guard by the door does as well and far in the back the sorceress is watching it happen. The rude woman with the ugly soul stops her attack on Hoseok and presses herself past the girl coming outside.
“It was about time, I was wait…” the door falls closed and silences her.
Hoseok finally releases the nervous breath he was holding in, rubbing the spot the rude girl hit multiple times. It hurts.
“Are you hurt?”
Hoseok looks at the girl who just came out of the hearing room. She was the one who also running late.
“I am fine. How did it go inside?” he asks her.
“Oh, I do not know. I felt so nervous that I kept messing up my words.”
“I understand you so well. I feel so nervous as well.”
“So you are also here to learn?”
“I am.”
“But you are a boy. Are boys allowed here?”
“I want to be the first sorcerer in this school.”
“Oh? I see. You must be so nervous then.”
“I am. I really am.”
“I can see that. You look very hot. Are you sure that you are fine?”
“I am. I ran and have no water left to drink”, he says and chuckles nervously, “I hope that my throat doesn’t constrict inside.”
“Do you want some of my water? I already drank from it, but if you don’t mind.”
“Would you really? I hate to beg, but I ran so far.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t mind. Please”, she says and offers her waterskin.
Hoseok accepts it with a deep bow, drinking from it almost greedily. Oh it feels so good to drink. He felt so close to his end.
He tries not to drink all of it, handing it back to the girl.
“I bless you. This truly saved me.”
“I am just glad that I could help”, she says and smiles, “I wish you luck. Maybe if you succeed, my brother could too one day.”
Hoseok feels warm in his chest. He is already inspiring people. He nods his head vigorously.
“Yes, yes indeed. I believe that he will.”
She bows her head at him, “perhaps we will see each other again at school.”
He bows his head at her, “perhaps we will.”
She leaves then, looking over her shoulder one last time before she crosses the corner.
Hoseok takes a deep breath. Now that he finally had some water to drink, his head feels clearer. He needs to prepare. He takes out his application from his bag and begins reading.
He doesn’t notice when the rude girl comes back out, neither does he notice her poisonous glances until she talks to him.
“You are still here”, she spits, making herself big in front of him.
Hoseok lowers his papers, looking down at her.
“I wasn’t in the hearing room yet, so yes I am.”
“You should leave now. You won’t ever stand a chance.”
“We will see about that.”
She scoffs and slaps the papers out of his hands.
“Hey!”
She turns and stomps away.
Hoseok squats down, picking up his papers with shaking hands. This hurt him. He is already nervous beyond recovery and now he was treated like garbage. He is too emotionally vulnerable to be bullied this way. The papers are out of order. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Everything is going wrong. His application is a mess.
“You.”
Hoseok lifts his head.
“You’re next.”
“I, I haven’t sorted my papers yet.”
“You can do it inside. Time’s ticking”, the guard says.
Hoseok feels dizzy, scrambling to pick up his papers.
“Hurry up.”
“I am, please.”
The sorceress Selen lifts her head at the noises by the door. Her guard is talking to one of the potential students. Like always, she has a harsh tone going on. Whoever she is rushing, seems to be quite upset about it. Second later he stumbles into the room. The sorceress Selen widens her eyes in surprise. A boy? This is new.
Said boy is busy with sorting papers. So busy in fact that he doesn’t even notice her presence until she greets him.
He lifts his head, “oh? Oh, heavens. Please fo-forgive me”, he bows deeply, dropping his papers again, “no! Oh no, my application! Not again!” he exclaims and falls to his knees to sort it out.
She stands up so she could see past her desk. His hands are trembling uncontrollably as he is picking up the papers.
“Are you alright?”
“Pl-please forgive me. I, I am sorry. I d-dropped my application. I- please forgive me, please”, he stutters, working hastily to fix it, “foolish Hoseok. You are foolish.”
He seems to be talking to himself. Poor boy.
With pity in her heart, she rounds the table to help him.
“No please you, you do not have to help I, I- oh god.”
“Don’t worry. I wish to help you. Life is easier this way.”
Hoseok falters. The words seem familiar to him, but he cannot remember where and if he heard them before. He lowers his head after meeting the sorceress’ purple eyes.
“Thank you. I-I am not usually that clumsy.”
“Worry not”, she assures him and hands him the finished papers, “there you go.”
“I thank you. My deepest gratitude, truly.”
She stands back up and rounds the table. She sits down, waiting until the young man sat down as well. He sits as straight as possible, holding his head high even if he can barely keep up eye contact. He looks very obviously hot. As if he ran quite the distance. She studies the papers he is clutching, then looks back into his eyes.
“Are you feeling alright? You look quite hot.”
“I had to run quite far.”
“Overslept?”
He shakes his head vigorously, “no, my lady sorceress, I have been awake with the first ray of sunlight, preparing for today.”
“Indeed?”
He nods his head.
“So why were you running?”
“I…” Hoseok could tell her about what he did, but he doesn’t want to come off as if he was boasting. He didn’t help this old woman because he wanted to boast, he helped her because he wanted to be kind. He decides against telling her, “…I had something important to do, which took me quite far from this school. So I had to run back again in order not to miss the hearing.”
“Mhm, something important you say. Very well then. Now, your name is Hoseok?”
“Yes, indeed. I am Hoseok.”
“And why are you here, Hoseok?”
“I want to become one of your students”, he says and slides over the papers, “I know I am not your usual candidate, but I am a hard worker and a diligent learner. I wrote an application and, and there are also letters of recommendation.”
“You wrote an application?” she asks, lifting up the papers with the help of magic.
“I did yes. I, I had no idea how to, so I spent all day reading books about it and practicing until it was as perfect as it could be.”
“You researched how to write applications?”
Hoseok’s cheeks light up, “I, I meant- I didn’t- I mean I did, but I- I wanted it to be perfect.”
“I see”, she says and looks into the papers. She skims her eyes over them, but does not begin reading them yet, “I shall read through them later”, she says and fixes the heap into one neat stack.
Hoseok gulps nervously, ogling the papers. He does not know what this means meant. Oh, his heart might give up in his chest.
“I thank you for coming here. You will hear from me soon.”
“You have no questions for me?” he gasps.
“I have everything I need to know.”
“But”, Hoseok stops his lower lip from trembling, “I truly want this position.”
“I am certain that you do. So do many other young women however.”
“I, I dreamt of being a sorcerer ever since I could think and, and I know that I-I am a man and that it, it isn’t tradition in these lands for boys to learn magic, but I know that I could do it. I, I want it and I will work so very hard for it. I will work so, so hard until my fingers are sore and my mind foggy. Please. You could count on me, my lady sorceress. I work hard and well and I do not break under pressure. I am also very cleanly and punctual and I fulfill each task to perfection. I, I can also read and write and I enjoy studying. Please my lady sorceress Selen, give me a chance. Please, I wouldn’t disappoint you.”
The sorceress Selen listened to his nervous babbling with a tinge of fondness in her heart. The passion burned in his eyes and the love for his dream was obvious in his voice.
“Thank you young master Hoseok, for your passionate words. I shall consider them.”
Hoseok panics. He said too much, came off as rude and obtrusive. He stands up quickly to apologise with a bow. He bows so vigorously that he hits his head on the desk. It is loud, forcing a squeak out of Hoseok as well. He stumbles back, touching his aching forehead.
“Oh! By Razula!” the sorceress exclaims, jumping up in shock, “are you hurt?” she gasps, reaching for him to hold him by his shoulders in case he loses his consciousness.
Yes, it hurts. He feels dizzy and his skull is pulsing, but nothing hurts more than the shame Hoseok feels. He made a fool of himself. Now the sorceress won’t ever consider him.
“I, I am not hurt”, he stutters, bowing again because the shame sits too deep, “please forgive me. I, I took too much of your time. Please forgive me.”
His face literally feels as if flames were melting off his skin. He is so ashamed that he wishes for the gates of Helva to swallow him whole. He feels tears in his eyes.
“Please forgive me, please”, he pleads and turns to run away.
“You-”, the sorceress does not get to finish her sentence because Hoseok left the room before that, slamming the door accidentally.
She allows the situation to sink in with her mouth open in shock and her body stiff in surprise. This was the most peculiar situation which has happened to her in a long time.
Hoseok almost throws himself into the carriage, falling around Taehyung’s neck before the young prince could even say his first word. He drops his sweet ice cream from the impact, grunting.
“Oh? Did it go so well?” he asks, hugging his best friend back.
Hoseok sobs heartbreakingly just as the carriage begins to move.
“Hoseok”, Taehyung gasps, tightening the hug, “what happened?”
“I made a fool of myself”, Hoseok chokes out and wails painfully.
“Why? What happened?”
Hoseok tells Taehyung how the sorceress didn’t even read his applications nor ask him questions and how he acted obtrusive only to completely embarrass himself by hitting his head on her table. He barely gets the words out as he cries as if he just lost every person dear to him. And Taehyung listens to him, trying to comfort him without any sign of success.
The castle welcomes him back with music and cheers, but that soon dies down when Hoseok leaves the carriage and runs straight to his chambers. Taehyung tells everyone what happened and no one truly knows how to behave once they know. A deep grieving is shared however.
Hoseok doesn’t leave his chambers for days. Taehyung is the one to make sure that he eats and drinks, but Hoseok never allows him to enter. The young prince has to put the tray of food in front of his door and come collect the empty one, hours later. He tries to talk to him, but the only thing he gets are mumbled “leave me alone”s or “go away”s. Hoseok is grieving, there is no denying that.
Taehyung huffs out air in frustration. He was painting in the orange gardens when he thought of his best friend again. He looks at his window. The curtains are drawn closed. Another huff of air shows how helpless Taehyung feels. He doesn’t know what to do to make Hoseok feel better again. His heart got shattered and Taehyung has no idea how he could glue it back together.
“Young prince Taehyung?”
Taehyung looks at his servant.
“Yes?”
“The letters of today.”
“Letters?” Taehyung stands up to get the heap of letters from the silver platter. The servant bows his head at him, watching the young prince sort through them.
Most are of royal duty, some are from his family back home and some are merchants attempting to advertise their expensive goods. Taehyung will read through them later. He reaches the end of the heap, widening his eyes.
A purple envelope with golden lettering spelling Hoseok’s name. The sorceress’ wax sigil keeps the letter closed. It is a dark purple colour.
“Is this…” his servant asks.
“It is”, Taehyung confirms, exchanging a shocked look with him.
“Your highness, did he do it?”
“Perhaps? Come, we have to give it to him.”
The young prince and his servant leave the orange garden, running to Hoseok’s chambers.
Taehyung doesn’t bother to knock, entering Hoseok’s room by calling his name.
The latter is lying in bed, lifting his tired head. He is squinting his eyes. His silver hair is messy. The air smells old.
“Hoseok! Hoseok, I have news!”
“I am not interested, just leave me alone”, Hoseok grumbles and buries his face in the pillow.
“You will want to know these news”, Taehyung says and jumps onto Hoseok’s bed, “Namgil, please open the curtains.”
“Yes, your highness.”
“No. No light. Just leave me alone”, Hoseok whines and pulls the blanket over his head.
Taehyung drags the blanket away. Hoseok fights him weakly, whining his name.
“Look. Hoseok, look”, Taehyung insists, waving the purple envelope in front of Hoseok’s face.
The heartbroken man peels his eyes open groggily.
“What?”
“Look.”
“Huh?”
Hoseok shoots up instantly, ripping the letter out of Taehyung’s hand. He moves it closer to his face, squinting his eyes to make sure that they aren’t deceiving him.
“What?” he presses out.
“It arrived earlier. Look, this is the sorceress’ sigil and, and this is your name”, Taehyung says, bouncing on the mattress as he points at them. He is so excited that he can barely contain himself.
“This can’t be”, Hoseok whispers and rips the sigil to unfold the latter.
Namgil sits down next to him, trying to steal a glance. He is just as excited as Taehyung.
“And? What does it say?” Taehyung stresses, “tell us please. We are dying in curiosity. What does it say?”
Hoseok lowers the letter, staring at Taehyung.
“What is it? Did you get the position?”
“I did”
“You did?!”
Hoseok nods his head.
“Yes! You did! Hoseok, you did!” Taehyung screams in excitement and falls around his best friend’s neck.
Hoseok is stiff and silent at first. The shock sits too deep. But as Taehyung’s laughs and sobs and cheers continue, the realisation of his situation begins to seep in. It isn’t long until Hoseok is sobbing and laughing as well, hugging Taehyung as if his life depended on it.
“I did it!”
“You did it! Hoseok, you did it!” Taehyung says and pulls Hoseok to his feet so they could jump on the bed together. Namgil joins as well. The three men hold hands and cheer loudly, so loudly in fact that soon guards peek inside the room asking if everything was fine.
“Tell everyone that Hoseok managed to get into the school”, Taehyung tells her with sparkling eyes.
“Oh! By the goddesses! Congratulation, Hoseok! I will tell everyone!” she exclaims and hurries away to spread the news in the castle.
The celebrations about Hoseok’s success last until the early morning hours. Dance is plenty, food delicious and wine most intoxicating. Hoseok, Lord of Court of Sandrock Castle will be the first sorcerer of these lands! Oh the news couldn’t be any sweeter.
But where sweetness lies, bitterness follows and only two days later, the moment of his goodbye has come. The court is excited for his future and yet terribly sad to part ways. His fellow servants already said their goodbyes to him with tears and a basket of fruits they saved up for together. The Queen and her husband said goodbye with white dresses he could wear at school and the promise that he will always be welcome at the castle. The princess is holding her husband, who has been sad ever since the morning.
The carriage is packed. There is no reason for Hoseok to stay any longer.
“So, I believe it is time for me to go”, Hoseok says.
“We wish you luck”, the Queen says.
“Thank you, your highness. Not only for your kind words, but also for your support. I am but a mere servant and you didn’t have to be so kind to me. So thank you”, Hoseok says, bowing until his chest touched his own thighs.
“We are all equal. You may have served my son in law, but you are also his dearest friend and his lord-in-waiting. Do not thank me for my kindness, I am happy to give it to you.”
“Thank you, your highness”, Hoseok says and straightens up. He looks at the princess, “you will have to take care of him for me.”
She laughs, “I will gladly do so. Good blessings, dear Hoseok.”
“Thank you, your highness”, Hoseok bows his head, then looks at Taehyung.
The latter pouts sadly, throwing himself around his neck in a tight hug.
“Please promise to write as often as you can”, he murmurs into him.
“I will. I hope that you write as well.”
Taehyung steps back, nodding his head vigorously.
“I will. Oh, you will get tired of me. I will write so many letters.”
The two men giggle, holding hands.
“And you have to visit on the weekends. Please, we need to talk in the orange gardens and swim in the blue lagoons.”
Hoseok nods his head vigorously, “I will visit whenever I can. I promise.”
“Good”, Taehyung says and falls around his neck, “I will miss you so much.”
“I will miss you too”, Hoseok says, closing his eyes as he enjoys his best friend’s hug before he can’t feel it for quite some time.
“Please be happy and successful. I will think of you each night.”
“Me too. Be happy as well and never stop painting.”
Taehyung laughs, but it sounds just a little like a sob. The two men hug each other tighter, laughing eventhough they are secretly crying.
“I won’t.”
“Good. That is good.”
The goodbye is bittersweet. The life they once knew and grew up with ends and a new one begins. It hurts. But they will each follow their dreams and will only be apart an hour by foot. It lessens the pain and gives both of them happiness. They will be apart, but still close. They won’t live their old lives anymore, but will finally follow their dreams. The goodbye is bittersweet. It truly is.
The streets in front of the school are calm today, which allows the carriage to drive all the way to the front steps of the student housing.
Hoseok steps out of the carriage, thanking the royal guard for helping him. He is conversing with her, blind to the shocked looks the magical guards send him. They are aware what the sigil on their armour meant and the realisation of who they were rude to just weeks ago sits heavy in their stomachs. And while Hoseok is talking to the guard, the servants he once commanded, carry his luggage to the student housing. They ask the guards where they must go and the latter tell them with nervousness in their voices.
“I wish you good blessings”, the guard says.
“Thank you Nepheli, I wish you good blessings as well”, Hoseok says, looking over his shoulder, “did Namgil disappear with the cases already?”
“It appears so.”
“Oh, well I see”, Hoseok gives Nepheli a smile, “we will see each other again.”
She bows her head, “most definitely we will.”
Once Namgil and two other servants return from Hoseok’s new chambers, it is time for the carriage to return to the castle. Hoseok waves to them until they disappear outside the walls. He lowers his arms and takes a deep breath. His heart is racing, but it isn’t for an uncomfortable reason.
He is excited.
His new life lies behind these doors.
He will finally study the arts of magic.
Hoseok contains the dance of happiness he wants to do and turns around. His eyes meet those of the guards. The judgment of once is gone. Nervousness replaced it.
They bow their heads at him, “my lord, I see that you were successful.”
Hoseok blinks his eyes in confusion. Why are they bowing their heads?
“May we help you with anything?”
“No, uh”, he clears his throat, “well, uh, where do I have to go?”
“Please, follow me, my lord.”
“Very well?” Hoseok follows her confusedly.
They have walked quite some time when he finally talks.
“Excuse me?”
“Yes, my lord?”
“Why are you calling me this way?”
“Well, are you not from the royal court?”
“Oh”, now he understands. They must have seen the royal crest and thought that he was of royal blood. Hoseok touches the side of his neck, flustering slightly, “some could say that I am.”
“My lord”, she bows her head, “I hope that our behaviour last time carries no consequences. You must know, we only followed our duties.”
Hoseok doesn’t like to feel superior. Again, he never tells people what his profession once was. But he also likes the sense of victory their apology gives him. They weren’t following duties last time, they were being sexist. Hoseok decides to let them boil in their misunderstanding a while longer.
“I understand. I had already feared that this school was guarded by a bunch of sexists.”
She laughs awkwardly, “no, my lord. Of course not. Everyone is welcome here.”
“Good. I hope it stays this way.”
“Yes, my lord”, she bows, then points at an open door, “the first lecture is here, my lord.”
“Thank you”, Hoseok says and walks off without bowing. His heart might actually fall out of his ribcage. He never felt more nervous before than he did right now. This was the first time he left a conversation without having to bow. Oh he is such a liar. This will have consequences for sure.
And while Hoseok thinks of his own actions, he scans his eyes over the classroom. It is high up in the tower with windows on six of the eight walls. Only the wall with the teaching board and the door have no windows. Two of the windows are facing into the hallways while the other four show the outside world. It is a sunny day, so the class room is flooded with natural light. Big chunks of purple crystal reflect the rays and on most wooden desks, young women were sitting. Small groups of chatting women have already formed. Their conversations die down when Hoseok enters the classroom. Whispers, which aren’t very secret, run through the room. Questions if “this” was a boy, wonders why he was here and rude comments about how he is wrong here all meet Hoseok’s ears.
He swallows down his nerves and lifts his hand to wave at the group of judging women.
“Good day, I am Hoseok. How are you all doing?”
All their heads turn away in sync and Hoseok is left without getting an answer. It stings, as much as it embarrasses him. He probably would have felt like crying when a sweet voice hadn’t called his name. He turns his head.
It is her. The girl, who also came too late and who saved his future back then. She is sitting with two other girls, waving her hand at him.
Hoseok jogs to her with a smile on his lips.
“You made it”, she says.
“You made it as well”, he says.
“I did. Oh, I am so happy to see you. Not only because I know nobody here, but because you made it.”
“I know nobody either. My name is Hoseok”, he says.
“I know, I heard. My name is ___.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you, ___.”
“The pleasure is all mine”, you say and continues with a shy gleam in your eyes, “do you want to sit together?”
“Yes, I would like that”, Hoseok says and sits down by the desk next to yours. His heart is fluttering. He is making friends. He doesn’t have to spend his entire academic career as an outsider. He turns his knees to you and gives you a smile.
You retort it.
“How are you doing?”
“Excited. I couldn’t sleep at all because I knew what today would bring. You?”
“Excited as well. And nervous”, Hoseok confesses, “I don’t think that I am very welcome here.”
You scan your eyes over the room. The conversations have become significantly quieter ever since Hoseok is in the room. Confused and judgemental looks meet his direction every now and then.
“It is the first time that a boy is learning magic. I believe that they are all just very confused.”
“I want to believe this as well”, Hoseok agrees and shifts his eyes to the two girls behind you, “nice to meet you.”
One of them has hair as red as fire, while the other has silver hair just like Hoseok. They both looked surprised to be addressed.
“Oh? Oh, uhm. Nice to meet you”, the silver haired girl says, “I’m Becca.”
“I’m Ash, nice to meet you”, the fire-haired girl says.
“Are you three friends?” Hoseok asks.
“No, we have only met today”, you say.
“I see, so we are all in the same boat.”
“We are”, Becca says, “are you really a boy?”
Hoseok nods his head.
“Are you actually allowed here?”
Hoseok shrugs his shoulders, “I managed to get in, so I must be”, he grins, “I am going to become the first sorcerer of these lands.”
“Woah”, Ash gasps, exchanging a look with Becca, “are you allowed to do that?” she is whispering the question as if it was a forbidden secret.
“I decided to rather ask for forgiveness than permission”, Hoseok whispers as well, making the girl snicker and hide their mouths behind their hands. A sense of excited glee washes over their faces. As if they are now part of a secret plan to change the world.
Hoseok smiles proudly, relaxing back into his seat. He feels relieved to know that he won’t be such an outsider here. That was truly his greatest fear.
Hoseok would have continued to chat with his new friends, hadn’t sorceress Selen entered the room, announcing herself with a clear of her throat. The classroom grows silent instantly.
A plethora of sorceresses enter the room behind her, lining up along the front of the classroom.
“Good morning, class”, sorceress Selen says loudly.
“Good morning, sorceress Selen”, the class answers back.
“As you all may know, you are the very few lucky ones who have impressed me. Some more than others”, she says, meeting Hoseok’s eyes long enough that the rest of the class notices. The jealous looks are instant. Hoseok feels hot under them, sinking deeper into his chair in hopes of hiding away.
Sorceress Selen breaks eye contact, scanning her eyes over the class as she talks.
“Remember that there has been a first for anything on earth. Someone had to take the first swim, the first run, someone had to taste sugar for the first time and someone had to have the first hangover. There will never stop being firsts and I ask of you to show the respect I see in every single one of you. Understood?”
It is obvious to all that she meant Hoseok’s presence in these halls. This is a first. Never before was there a boy studying magic in this school.
“Yes, Sorceress Selen”, the class answers hesitantly.
“Very good. Now, my name is, as you all know, Sorceress Selen. I am the headmistress of this school and I will also be your teacher of glintstone magic”, she says and steps back to allow another sorceress the spotlight.
“My name is Sorceress Zenith. I will be your teacher of magical potions.”
The next sorceress calls herself Ceva, introducing herself as the class’ teacher of magical literature.
Sorceress Ciri will be the teacher of magical history and Sorceress Cintra will teach the ways of magical transformation. The first year will only have five courses, but they promise that the students will have a lot of work to do and that five are very much enough.
“Now that we introduced ourselves, we would like you to do the same. Go on, stand up and introduce yourselves to the class. Be kind, you will spend a lot of time with each other.”
One by one the students stand up and introduce themselves. Hoseok listens intently to all of them, trying his hardest to memorise their names. The class is a good mixture of all social stands, races and nationalities. Hoseok is surprised at how many girls from other queendoms come to this school to learn. He likes it however. It makes his Snow Isles heart feel less alone in being so far from home. He feels his pulse increase the closer to his turn the introductions come and by the time it is finally his turn, his cheeks have started to heat up.
He stands up, looking around the room. All eyes are on him.
“My name is Hoseok, I come from the Snow Isles and I am here to learn magic just like all of you are, I believe, hah”, he says and laughs.
Nobody else laughs. Some even look at him angrily.
He clears his throat nervously, straightening his back.
“I know that you all must be very confused why I am here. A boy here in the school of magic, I know you must want to curse me and call me wrong. I do not blame you, but I want to say that if you need help, I am always willing to help”, he says and smiles, “I want all your very bests”, he says and bows, “thank you”, he says and sits back down.
The eyes linger on him just a little longer before you steal the attention by standing up loudly.
“I am ___. I was born and raised here and I live by the docks with my family. I am here to learn magic just like Hoseok already said”, you say, sending him a playful look, “that is all. Thank you.”
You sit back down, leaning closer to Hoseok to whisper. He leans in as well so he could listen better.
“You stole my joke”, you say and snicker.
“Forgive me, I panicked.”
“It’s alright. It was a good joke.”
Hoseok grins, agreeing with a nod of his head.
The students have free time for the rest of the day. Most use it to move into their chambers. Hoseok does as well. The chambers consist of one small shared room and two connecting bed chambers with a small washing chamber connecting as well. Hoseok arrives last at his shared room.
“Oh, it is you.”
Hoseok is greeted by you, Ash and Becca.
“Are you my new chamber mates?”
“Indeed we are. We were already wondering who might be our fourth chamber mate. Are all of these things yours?”
Hoseok looks at the heap of packages in the middle of the room. He wasn’t even aware of how much he packed.
Hoseok blushes shyly, “yes, they might be mine.”
“Forgive me for asking, but are you a prince?”
“A prince? Me?” Hoseok laughs, shaking his head, “oh goddesses no, I am no prince. I…” he stops himself. He almost exposed that he served Taehyung, prince of the Snow Isles and future queen consort of the Sand Queendom.
“But these are golden hinges. Only those of royalty can afford golden hinges on their travel cases.”
“Well”, Hoseok touches the side of his neck shyly, “I might have served a prince before coming here.”
“A prince?!” his chamber mates all gasp in unison, inching closer as excitement overtakes them.
“Who did you serve?”
“Do we know him?”
“Where is he now?”
“Who is it?”
“We can keep secrets.”
They bombard him with questions. Ash even grasps his lower arm to shake it in excitement.
Hoseok takes a careful step back, lifting his hands in defeat.
“Very well, very well I will tell you”, he gives in.
“Oh this is exciting.”
“I want to know everything.”
“Tell us, please.”
They babble and chat, sitting down on the shared seating to listen to Hoseok. He sits down as well, blushing heavily when they all gather around him with minimal space between their bodies. Their excited eyes are glued to his face.
He clears his throat, “I left the Snow Isles as a servant. The prince I served was promised to a princess and as his lord in waiting it was my duty to follow him and serve him in his new home.”
“But…when you served a prince and he was promised to a princess from these lands, that means…” Becca’s eyes widen as realisation sets in, “that means you are serving prince Taehyung! You were a servant at Queen Ranni’s court!”
They gasp loudly, throwing their hands over their mouths.
“Is it true?”
“Did you truly?”
Hoseok nods his head hesitantly, lowering his eyes shyly.
“By Frenya!”
“This can’t be!”
“Oh this is mindruining!”
You take his lower arm and shake it excitedly, “how is it living at court? Is the Queen as kind as it says she is? Is the princess truly beautiful beyond compare? And prince Taehyung, is he truly such a wonderful soul as everyone says?”
“Yes. Yes, I would say that all of these things are true. The Queen and her daughter supported me in my dream of becoming a sorcerer. They didn’t have to do so and yet they did. And Taehyung”, Hoseok smiles fondly, “Taehyung is my best friend. He didn’t have to support my silly dreams, but he was the first to dream with me. He is the kindest soul you will meet. He truly is.”
“So the sayings are true. The royal family is kind hearted.”
“Yes, they are. They are kind people”, Hoseok says and smiles, “that brings me to something to give me”, he says and stands up, “the princess insisted that I bring presents for my new chamber mates. She must have feared that I would be hated here, so she gave me something to bribe your hearts”, Hoseok explains, making his chamber mates laugh.
He feels good about it. People only laugh at jokes when they like the person telling it. The princess’ worries were useless. He still wants to give them their presents however.
“It isn’t much, but I hope that you will enjoy it nonetheless”, Hoseok says and hands each of his chamber mates a hand woven basket filled with oranges from the castle garden, chocolate from the castle’s kitchen and sweet wine from the royal vineyards.
“These are expensive things. I couldn’t take them”, you refuse, shaking your head.
“No please, the princess insisted that you each get something. It will rot otherwise, so please enjoy it.”
They each accept the gift with shy gleams in their eyes.
“And what about you? What have you done before coming here?” Hoseok asks.
“I worked in the mountains”, Ash says, “I never thought of coming here, but then I discovered my magic by accidentally lifting a stone and my mother encouraged me to seek education so that perhaps one day I can return to the village as a sorceress.”
“I also discovered my magic by sheer luck”, Becca says, “I live by the sea not far from here. One day I helped a fish come to life again. That is when I knew I had to seek help from sorceress Selen and now I am here.”
“Oh your stories are both wonderful, I discovered my magic through stubbornness”, you say with a chuckle on your lips, “each day after waking up, I tried to move my candle until one day I finally did. I told my family and days later sorceress Selen’s letter arrived. I knew I had to take the chance and here I am.”
The girls giggle, but Hoseok can’t find it in himself to laugh. They all know how to do magic already? He believed that all of them are like him, that this school is supposed to awake the magical powers within them.
“What about you? How did you discover your magic?” you ask him.
Hoseok gulps nervously, “I…uh….”
“You have discovered it, haven’t you?”
“Uh..I..uh..”
“You haven’t”, you gasp, exchanging a shocked look with Becca and Ash.
“But how do you know if you even have powers inside you?” Becca asks.
Hoseok touches the side of his neck in soothing. He never thought of that.
“What if you aren’t meant for magic? Not everyone is”, Ash gasps.
Hoseok feels his stomach twist. He never thought of that either. He believed that everyone can learn magic through hard work. He believed that magic slumbers in every person and that through hard work and proper education, they will awake.
“I thought that”, he begins, gulping down the nervous lump in his throat, “I thought that…that it would awake once I am at this school.”
“But how did you get through the application process?”
“What do you speak?”
“How did you manage to perform the spell without magic?”
“What spell?”
“The spell we had to perform to prove that we have magical abilities.”
“I, I didn’t have to perform a spell”, Hoseok stutters.
“So how did you get in?”
“M-maybe she saw something in me?” Hoseok says shyly.
“Alright”, Becca says and scrunches her nose.
Hoseok can see it in her eyes, her once friendly nature is gone. She looks at Ash and you. Ash’s face is cold as well.
“Shall we see if we can meet other people?” Becca asks.
“Yes we shall”, Ash says and stands up.
“That sounds like a good idea”, Hoseok says and stands up as well.
“Not you”, Becca says and drags Ash away from him.
“Oh”, Hoseok stops, feeling his chest sting.
They leave the room without looking back.
Hoseok lowers his head sadly, feeling a deep, deep pain in his heart.
“Well, that was just mean.”
Hoseok turns, studying you. You are frowning at the closed door.
“Are you feeling fine?” you ask him.
Hoseok shrugs his shoulders, pouting sadly.
“I am sorry they treated you this way. I’ve also only met them today, so this surprised me quite a lot.”
“You don’t have to be friendly with me if you don’t want to. I know I’m wrong here and that it seems as if sorceress Selen made a mistake.”
You furrow your brows, “but I want to be kind to you.”
“Oh.”
You pat the spot next to you. Hoseok hesitates at first, but takes it in the end. You turn your knees to him, giving him a sweet smile.
“The trick with magic is that you have to visualise it”, you say and lift one of the oranges Hoseok gifted you, “take this orange for example. Visualise how it floats from my palm”, you explain and demonstrate.
Hoseok gasps, staring at the floating orange in awe.
“It is floating”, he says, meeting your eyes. They changed to a purple colour, “your eyes”, he gasps.
“That means that I am using my magic”, you explain and drop the orange again. The purple glow fades away, revealing your natural eye colour.
“The glow stopped”, Hoseok says, “how did you do this?”
“I practiced a lot. I didn’t always have my magic either, so don’t beat yourself up too much. Not everyone discovers their magic as easily.”
“But how did you manage to discover it? You made an orange float, that is beyond impressive.”
You laugh softly, “it is barely a proper spell.”
“Well, it is more than I can do”, Hoseok says and huffs out air in impatience.
“Try it. Visualise how the orange floats.”
“Alright, alright I will try”, Hoseok says and focuses on the orange in your hand. He tries so very hard. He really, really does but the orange stays unmoving. He gives up after a few tries, sagging his shoulders in defeat, “I cannot do it.”
“Don’t give up already, practice each morning until it finally works”, you encourage him and peel the orange, “come, let us eat oranges for now. I have always wondered how royal oranges taste.”
You break it in the middle as best as possible, handing him the second half. You bite into your own half as if it was an apple, spilling juice down your hands. You slurp it up, humming loudly at the sweet taste.
“So sweet”, you exclaim, giving him a smile, “I love oranges so much. My mother grows an orange tree in our garden. I would like to argue that our oranges taste just as sweet.”
Hoseok feels good in his chest upon receiving your smile. It feels genuine.
“Do you like oranges?”
“Yes”, he says and finally bites into his orange as well, “I love them as well. We don’t have them on the Snow Isles.”
“I can imagine. Your home must be so cold.”
“It is, but I must confess that I miss it a lot.”
“Oh, I can imagine that as well. It must be hard to leave your home and your family.”
“Taehyung is my family, so it wasn’t that hard”, Hoseok says and sighs sadly, “I did leave him now however. I hope he is fine.”
“I am sure that he is. He is the prince, he must have everything that he wishes.”
“Yes, I do believe you are right”, Hoseok says and smiles, “thank you for being so kind to me.”
“Please, don’t thank me for that. Here, do you want to share the chocolate as well?”
The next day starts early, but Hoseok doesn’t mind. He is used to waking up earlier than other people. Work at the castle was always endless and it is the servants’ duties to prepare breakfast before the royal family wakes. Hoseok is used to early mornings, enjoying the calm morning hours. He washes himself in the washing chambers, then uses the hours before class to practice on an orange. Becca and Ash come out of their rooms as he practices.
“Why are you here?” Becca asks.
“Because this is my room as much as it is yours, so we can either make this comfortable for all of us by being grown-up enough to attempt to get along or make it uncomfortable by being childishly hostile. I know what I want to choose”, Hoseok throws back.
She doesn’t know what to say to that and so she drags Ash away to the washing chamber. Hoseok concentrates back on his orange. Visualise it. Visualise it. Come now Hoseok, visualise it.
Becca and Ash leave for breakfast soon, paying Hoseok no mind. Good. Complete neutrality to each other’s existence works for him as well.
“Good morrow.”
Hoseok looks over his shoulder, bowing his head at you.
“Good morrow.”
“You are practicing already? Oh, it is too early”, you grumble and drag your sleepy feet to the washing chambers.
Hoseok concentrates on his orange again, but with no results. You come out of the washing chambers before he could make it float.
“And?”
“I have been practicing for so long, but nothing”, Hoseok says, sighing defeated, “I think it won’t work today.”
“Then you will try again tomorrow”, you say and point at the door, “shall we leave for class?”
“Ah yes, the class”, Hoseok’s eyes light up, “can you believe that we will be taught magic?”
“No, it sounds surreal.”
“It truly does.”
Hoseok and you take the seats you took yesterday. Becca and Ash aren’t by their seats, spreading gossip with some girls in the front. Their chatter dies down when Hoseok enters the classroom and soon one of them walks up to him.
Hoseok lifts his head to look at her.
“I heard that you haven’t found your magic yet”, she says.
Hoseok sends a glare to Becca and Ash. They don’t dare to meet it, seeming oh so innocently shy all of a sudden. Gossiping wenches, Hoseok thinks and looks back at the girl in front of him. It is her. The rude girl from the application day.
“And if I haven’t?” he challenges her.
“Then you are wrong here.”
“Settle down, will you?” you warn, but the girl doesn’t listen.
“This is a school for women who know how to do magic, not spoiled boys who had the queen buy his way into it.”
Hoseok is a peaceful person and a slightly nervous person who doesn’t enjoy confrontation. Which is why it is quite surprising that he also cannot stand to be disrespected. He gets up from his chair, stepping closer to the rude girl until he towers over her.
“How about you tell me your name first before you go around insulting me for no reason whatsoever”, he hisses.
“Caria”, she says with confidence in her eyes.
“Caria”, Hoseok repeats calmly, “thank you, I will make sure to include it in my next letter to the Queen.”
Caria falters, “w-wait.”
“I jest”, Hoseok says and shows her an icy smile, “go back to your seat. Caria.”
Caria scurries off with panic in her eyes. Hoseok sends Becca and Ash a glare until they understand what he is implying, then sits back down again.
This is starting to properly anger him. He knows that he is the first boy attempting to learn magic, but these jealous girls are going too far.
“Don’t let them bring you down”, you whisper to him.
“I am not”, Hoseok says and shifts his eyes to the movement by the door.
He straightens up in shock, gawking at her with widened eyes. It is her. The old woman he helped outside the tower walls.
“Good morrow, class”, she says, dragging her old feet to the middle of the room, “go to your seats now, hop hop.”
Confused chatter goes through the room. Some seem to recognise the woman, while others are asking themselves who she could be. Hoseok is confused as well. Why is the old woman here? Why is she acting as if she was the one to teach?
She scans her eyes over the class, lingering on Hoseok just a little longer. She gives him a nod of her head and a knowing smile. It speaks to him, “I told you that we would see each other again.”
Hoseok feels himself bowing his head at her.
“Now very well, you are all seated”, she says, “how have you accommodated in your chambers? Is all well?”
Hesitant nods let her know the answer.
“That is good to hear. Ah yes, that is good”, she says and touches her lower back, “oh my old bones. Can one of you be so kind and get me a chair?”
Hoseok stands up instantly and hurries to get an empty chair. He carries it to her, helping her sit down by holding her hand gently.
“Oh thank you, dear Hoseok. Thank you.”
More whispering. He knows her? How does she know his name? She notices the whispers as well.
“I see that there is great confusion present in this room”, she says, “some may wonder where they have seen me before, some may wonder why I am here and some may wonder why I have addressed one of our worthy students by their name.”
She straightens her back. She seems healthier by the second.
“The secret is dear students, not all is always as the eyes tell us.”
Her spindly fingers age backwards, her once grey hair gains dark colour again.
“Not every person is simply a person one meets.”
Her once wrinkled face smoothes out. Her clothes, once of poor condition, change into that of obvious wealth.
“And not every test of worth is always based on skill.”
The once old, weak woman has morphed into sorceress Selen. Strong, healthy and with magical youth surrounding her. The girls, who noticed the old woman outside the castle walls gasp in horrid realisation that the old woman had been a test they all failed to pass. The girls, who didn’t notice her, gasp at the wonder of transformation unfolding in front of him. Hoseok doesn’t gasp. Hoseok gawks with widened eyes, unable to accept that this truly happened. This is why sorceress Selen’s words were familiar to him. It is because she said the words back to him he told her mere hours before as he helped her in her disguise. That is why the old woman’s eyes gleamed purple for but a moment. That is why he is here and why she didn’t ask him any questions. He had already passed the test without knowing that there was a test to pass.
“Now that the truth is out there, I assume that it is obvious to all why I kept you waiting for so long during the applications”, she chuckles mischievously, “I must apologise dear students, but I had to wait for the person worthy to pass my test and that person, my dear students, was Hoseok”, she says, pointing at him.
Hoseok gulps under the attention, feeling his cheeks heat up.
“Congratulations, Hoseok”, she says and gives him a nod of her head.
He bows his head shyly, keeping his eyes lowered because otherwise his cheeks would have been red as cherries.
“And as I have gathered from some of your shocked whispers”, she continues, “some have not passed my test. Caria, Becca, Heva and Toph I ask of you to go back to your chambers and pack your belongings.”
“What?!”
“Yes you have heard me. This was but a lesson for you. A lesson in kindness for I do not accept cruelty in my school.”
“But…what does this mean?”
“It means that you are not worthy of this school.”
“So why did we get in? Why did you send us this joke of a letter?”
“Why I told you. This was but a lesson for you”, sorceress Selene says, “take from it that you need to grow and work on yourselves. As for the rest of my students, take from it that your position in this school is not set in stone. Many have the potential to harbour magic, but not many are worthy of having it. And that this worth is not solely based on skill. Remember this, my young apprentices.”
“So why is Hoseok here? He doesn’t even know if he has magic inside”, Caria spits, making his heart race in panic.
Sorceress Selen’s features darken.
“Have you no functioning ears to listen? I just told you that worth is not only based on skill. Oh you disappoint me, child.”
Caria closes her mouth.
Sorceress Selen clears her throat and continues, “I get the feeling that Hoseok isn’t the only one who still needs to discover his magic. A barking dog often intimidates those more timid to silence”, she says and she looks at a few girls who seem incredibly shy all of a sudden. Almost as if they were scared to be found out that they neither know how to access their magic. Sorceress Selene looks at Caria and Becca, “wouldn’t you agree?”
“Sorceress Selene, I would like to apologise”, Becca says.
“Oh there is no need. Come back again once you are worthy”, Sorceress Selene says and with a snap of her fingers, makes the four girls she called out disappear.
Loud uproar goes through the room.
“Have no fear, they are just fine. I merely helped them with returning to their rooms. They will have all the time in the world to pack their belongings”, she says and stands up from the chair, “now let us truly begin the lesson. Who of you hasn’t mastered their access to magic yet?”
Hoseok lifts his hand, looking around the room. He is the only one. A deep pit of despair begins to open in his stomach until suddenly, very timidly a girl lifts her hand as well. Ash. She lied in fear of being found out. Another soon lifts her hand after her. Then a third and a fourth until six people including Hoseok and Ash have their hands raised.
“As I have figured”, Sorceress Selene says, “well done, my dear students. Honesty will bring you further than deception. Now, can any of you tell me what gives us our magical abilities?”
“The planets?”
“That is a good answer. Any other ideas?”
“The ocean?”
“Oh most definitely. The ocean can be a powerful source.”
“So many things can be used as a source?”
“Now you are asking the right questions. Indeed they can. However there is one thing which combines them all, which infuses them with magic so we could harbour it”, she says and lifts a purple crystal.
Whispering again.
“Yes, yes indeed. You recognise these crystals, they grow all over these grounds and are often found on our beaches. Glintstone. It is found all over this continent and has been here long before we came.”
You lift your hand.
“Yes dear ___?”
“Where does it come from? Did time form it?”
“Oh no. No, time merely preserved it and allowed the magic in it to become more potent. Long before the age of life, there were the dragons. Not dragons as we know these days, but dragons as big as entire continents. They were beings outside time and created the lands we walk on today. One of these dragons, Razula, was sick. While other dragons breathed ice, fire and molten earth, she breathed glintstone. With each breath she passed, new crystals formed and allowed her magical essence to crystallise. Her illness killed her in the end as the glintstone solidified her flesh. She died where, these days, our Glass Mountains range.”
Ash raises her hand.
“Yes, dear Ash?”
“Does this mean that the Glass Mountains are made out of her corpse?”
“Yes, indeed it does.”
Shared gasps of wonder go through the room.
“She must have been so big.”
“Indeed she was. Our very own mountain, the one catching the ocean and holding this very city secure is part of Razula. The very end of her tail to be more exact.”
Another round of shared gasps.
Hoseok lifts his hand.
“Yes, dear Hoseok?”
“Does that mean that the glintstone she breathed soaked our continent with magic, so we could harbour different elements for magic these days?”
“Very good, indeed it does.”
“So why can we harbour the planets?”
“That is a very good question. You see, our planet isn’t the only one formed by the dragons. Many more are children of them, which is why we have access to their powers.”
“So there were more dragons like Razula?”
“Why would you wonder this?”
“Because glintstone is what gives a source its magic. There must have been more dragons like Razula, otherwise we couldn’t harbour the planets.”
Sorceress Selen smiles proudly. She nods her head.
“It is not with certain proof, but yes it is said that there were more dragons like Razula, who infused the planets with their glintstone and who made it possible so that we can harbour them these days.”
You ask the next question, “why is it not with certain proof?”
“Because travelling between planets or even universes has not been achieved yet.”
Agreeable nods go through the room. This answer sounds logical to all. Sorceress Ciri, the teacher for magical history, enters the room then. She carries a flat wooden box.
“Oh, Ciri! The perfect time! Now dear students, I have a small present for each of you”, sorceress Selen says as sorceress Ciri begins handing out small glintstones, “your very own glintstone. Take great care of it, practice with it and feel its magical properties. That is my task for you.”
Ash lifts her hand.
“Yes, dear Ash?”
“How do we feel its magical property?”
“Oh that is a complicated question. How does one feel anything? Feelings must be felt, they cannot be conceptualised. But very well, to make it easier for you, my young students, magic gives the very tips of your fingers a warm tingle to it. Try to find this tingle and you will have taken yet another step into the right direction.”
A warm tingle. Hoseok looks down at the purple glintstone in his palm. He closes his finger around it. A warm tingle. That is what he needs to look out for. A warm tingle and then he will finally feel worthy of being here.
The weeks are spent practicing with the glintstone sorceress Selen gave each student. During the early hours, the students learn about magic, its history and what can be achieved with it and during the later hours, the students are meant to practice and study in the grande library. Hoseok enjoys his time. He wakes up excited each day, he pays utter attention in the lessons and practices until late into the night. The other students stopped avoiding him now that Caria and Becca weren’t present anymore. Ash and two other students even practice with him each day, exchanging frustrations when the warm tingle never comes.
Hoseok lifts his head upon hearing yet another cheerful exclaim of one his fellow students.
“Sorceress Selen! It is floating!”
“Very good, dear Ainar. Continue this connection”, the sorceress praises and continues her rounds through the classroom.
Hoseok looks at his fellow students. Ainar was one of the people who always practiced with him. Three other people also already learned how to connect to their inner magic. Only he and Ash are still struggling.
“Sorceress Selen! I am doing it!”
Hoseok looks at Ash and the floating glintstone before her.
“Very good, dear Ash. Keep practicing.”
“Good job Ash, you’re finally doing it”, Ainar encourages her with excitement in her eyes.
“You’re doing so well”, Hoseok tells her, earning himself a proud grin.
“Thank you, oh look at me.”
“You are like a proper sorceress now.”
“Yes, yes I am”, Ash giggles.
Hoseok breaks his eyes away from her, trying to hide his disappointment. He is happy for his fellow students for finally finding their powers, but he also can’t deny that he feels like an utter failure himself.
“Hoseok?”
He lifts his head upon being called, meeting sorceress Selen’s eyes.
“Yes?”
“Why are you not practicing?”
“Forgive me, I just took a quick break”, he says and looks at the stone.
“Don’t give up. Yes?”
Hoseok nods his head and takes a deep breath, lifting his hands to continue practicing. He will not be able to lift the stone during the lesson.
They have the weekend free this week and most students use it to finally visit their homes again. Hoseok does as well. He leaves in the early hours of the morning, cradling the glintstone in his pocket and with an orange from the tower gardens to give him energy. He feels happy at the thought of finally seeing Taehyung again, but also a sense of tread because he won’t return as a sorcerer already. He feels like a failure. Why is it so easy for anyone but him to find their magic? Was Caria right? Is he truly not meant to be a sorcerer?
“Hoseok!”
He stops in front the tower walls upon being called, looking over his shoulder. You are running to him, waving your hands.
“Wait up!”
He does. He waits until you reach his side.
“Are you visiting prince Taehyung?”
“I am. Are you visiting your family?”
“Indeed I am”, you say and point at the road, “do you have to walk this way as well?”
“I do.”
“Do you want to walk together?”
“Yes, I would like that”, he says and gives you a smile.
One you retort.
So you and he wander down the road side by side. You pull out two oranges from your pocket.
“I have oranges. Do you want one?”
“Oh?” Hoseok pulls out his own orange, “me too.”
“Oh? Look at us”, you say, having to laugh.
Hoseok laughs as well.
“These oranges are just too delicious.”
“Indeed they are.”
“Ah”, you sigh happily, lifting your head to look at the golden roofs above your head. The sun reflects off the colourful houses and paints the streets in lively colours. It will be a very hot day today, the air smells of it.
“I think I might swim in the ocean later”, you say.
“Yes, that sounds like a good time”, Hoseok says.
“And you? Are you going to practice even during your free time?”
“I am.”
“Oh, Hoseok you work too hard.”
“I am not. You have it easy, you even found your worth in magic already. I still haven’t found my connection to it. I am two steps behind”, Hoseok says and sighs in defeat.
“It will come one day. I promise.”
“Maybe”, he says and sighs again, “can we talk about something else?”
“Of course. What are your favourite beaches to go to?”
“The blue lagoons by the castle.”
“I should have figured. They must very beautiful.”
“They indeed are.”
“You know my brother really likes to swim.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, I am most certain that he will ask me the moment I come home. We always go swimming together.”
“That sounds like a special time for you and your brother.”
“Oh yes it is. He is already ten and three of age, but knows how to swim since only three of age.
“Truly?”
“Yes, I was the one who taught him. I was the age he is now when I taught him. I think that is why it is such a special time for us these days.”
“It sounds very special. I am glad that you have such a deep connection with your brother. I could never form such a deep bond with my sister.”
“You have a sister?”
“Yes, she is older than me by ten years. Just like you and your brother”, Hoseok says with a grin.
You retort it.
“We played a lot when we were younger but when she grew of marriage age, she wanted to spend her time socialising, instead of playing with her childish brother. She is already married and has children these days and I am happy for her. We write a lot of letters to each other, but I never had such special moments with my sister when I was in adolescence. Thank you for being such an older sister to your brother, he might not show it all the time, but those moments mean the world to him.”
“Thank you for saying this”, you say, feeling incredibly warm in your chest, “I truly love my brother. You know, he dreams of being a sorcerer.”
“I know.”
“How do you know?”
“You told me.”
“I did?”
Hoseok nods his head, “the day of the applications. You witnessed Caria slap my arm and then asked if I was hurt. You offered me your water skin and told me about your brother and his dreams.”
“I did, now I remember again. You remembered all this time?”
“I did. If I may be blunt, I remember you quite vividly from this day. You ran late as well and were sweating just as much as I did.”
You laugh.
“It is because of you that the guards even allowed me entrance.”
“Truly?”
“Yes, they refused at first because I am a boy.”
“No. Truly?”
“Yes, sadly.”
"Oh, how rude. This wasn’t their right to do.”
“Worry not, I already paid them back.”
“You did?”
“I pretended to be royalty on the first day because they saw the royal carriage I came in.”
“And they believed you?.”
“They even apologised.”
“Oh”, you let out and laugh loudly.
Hoseok laughs with you.
“Serves them right. Nobody should be refused access just because they are a boy.”
“Yes, I agree.”
You and Hoseok converse until the conjuncture where you have to go your separate ways.
“I have to go this way”, you tell him.
“I have to go this way”, Hoseok says and points in the opposite direction.
“So I believe that this is where we have to say our goodbyes.”
“Yes, I believe so.”
“Do you want to come with me for a bit? I would love to introduce you to my family.”
“I feel beyond honoured, but I truly have to go. Knowing Taehyung, he is already waiting impatiently.”
“I see”, you sag your shoulders in defeat but shake it off quickly, giving him a smile, “there will be a next time.”
“I believe so. I will bring chocolates then.”
“Oh, they would love them so much”, you say with sparkling eyes.
“Very well then. I will see you again next week”, Hoseok bows his head at you, “have a good weekend.”
“You too. See you soon”, you say and leave with a wave of your hand.
Hoseok watches you skip down the street. You turn when some distance is between you and him, searching for him. Your face lights up when you see him. You lift your arm to wave at him one last time, doing so until Hoseok finally waves back. You turn with a big smile on your face, skipping happily until the crowd swallows you and Hoseok cannot see you anymore. He smiles to himself and turns to take on the road to the castle. It isn’t far anymore.
Taehyung is waiting by the gates, jumping into a sprint the moment he notices Hoseok. He calls his best friend’s name, falling around his neck with such vigour that Hoseok stumbles from the impact. He even wraps his legs around his waist, knocking a belting laugh out of Hoseok, who is destined to carry his weight.
“You are such a rascal”, he laughs.
“I missed you. I missed you terribly!” Taehyung tells him in excited yelps.
“I missed you as well”, Hoseok says and drops him gently. He hugs him back as tightly as he can, “I was so excited for today.”
“Me too, oh me too.”
They hug for some time, breaking apart only because hugging for an entire day is rather frowned upon by the public for a prince and his servant to do.
“How have you been?”
“Good. You?”
“Good, just so incredibly bored without you. I keep rereading the letters you sent me and everything you describe sounds so interesting”, Taehyung babbles as the two men walk to Taehyung’s leisure room.
“The school is wonderful. I keep finding myself pinching my own skin because I cannot believe that it is real.”
“I can imagine. Is it really true that there is glintstone everywhere?”
“Yes, it is everywhere. Look”, Hoseok says and shows Taehyung the small glintstone.
Taehyung gasps, widening his eyes in curiosity.
“Sorceress Selen gave each of us a glintstone to practice magic on. It grows everywhere.”
“Is it true that it makes the faintest sound when you brush your hand against it?”
“It does. Even air makes it sing.”
“How wonderful”, Taehyung gasps, “can I touch it? Please?”
“Yes, once we are sitting down. I do not want to lose it.”
“I understand. It must be very precious, mustn’t it?”
“Yes. It is supposed to help me find my connection to magic.”
Taehyung and Hoseok have reached his room, sitting down by Taehyung’s painting table.
“Are still having troubles with it?”
“Sadly I do”, Hoseok says, “I do not know why it is so terribly hard for me, but it is.”
“Do not lose hope yet. I am certain that it will come to you very soon.”
Hoseok gives him a smile before lifting the stone into his vision.
“Do you want to hold the stone now?”
“Yes. May I truly?”
“Yes. Open your palm.”
Taehyung rests his hand palm side up on the table, watching with curious eyes as Hoseok places the stone into his palm carefully.
“It is cold.”
“It is. I have been carrying it in my pocket all day.”
“How is that possible? You should have warmed it.”
“Indeed, but glintstone never warms up unless its magic is channeled. Isn’t it wonderful? It stays cold no matter how much you warm it.”
“This is remarkable”, Taehyung whispers, caressing it gently, “and it is truly a dragon’s breath?”
“Yes. Razula. She existed long before our time with the other dragons.”
“I know. Her body makes up the Glass Mountains these days. Oh Hoseok, you have no idea how often I reread your letters. I learn so much about this continent because of you. It is so fascinating. We are walking on the creation of dragons. Dragons so big they form entire mountain ranges and countries. I cannot believe it, yet it is true.”
“It is beyond fascinating, isn’t it?”
“Yes. I feel so excited each time a new letter arrives. Your chamber mates sound so wonderful as well.”
“They are. We didn’t get along at first because they were weary of me because I am a boy, but we talk a lot these days.”
“That is so wonderful to hear. The girl you share a chamber with sounds very kind.”
“Yes ___, she is the kindest person. She paid me company when nobody else did. She is very kind”, Hoseok says and blinks his eyes dreamily.
“Beautiful as well?”
“Oh yes, quite beautiful actually”, Hoseok says. He sees no weirdness in Taehyung’s question as the young prince calls many people beautiful. He is an artist after all and sees beauty in all shapes and forms.
“Do I sense a hint of affection in your voice?” Taehyung asks, sending sudden nervousness to Hoseok’s chest. The mischief in Taehyung’s eyes only strengthen Hoseok’s coyness.
“What? No, not like this. Oh, I would never disrespect her in such ways”, Hoseok insists with flushed cheeks.
“You keep mentioning her in your letters.”
“Yes, well. Well, that is because…Taehyung no, I would never. She shows no signs of interest. How disrespectful would it be of me to see her in such a light? She is merely a very good friend.”
Taehyung grins knowingly, “very well, if you say so.”
Hoseok clears his throat loudly, wishing for his pulse to slow down again.
Taehyung places the glintstone on the table and scoots closer to Hoseok.
“Do you have more stories to tell? I want to know everything you learn and experience”, he ask.
“Mhm”, Hoseok thinks for a moment, “I do”, he exclaims.
“Tell me. I want to know”, Taehyung is practically sitting on the edge of his seat in utter curiosity.
“Long ago there was a sorcerer at this school.”
“A sorcerer? So boys can learn magic?”
“Yes, well”, Hoseok hesitates for a moment, “forget it. I just remembered that this is a rather sad story to tell.”
“No please. Now you must tell me. What happened to the sorcerer?”
“Well”, Hoseok begins with a saddened sigh, “we have entrance to a system of caves. The caves are filled with glintstone, their songs always fill the air.”
“Oh how wonderful.”
“The sorcerer always practiced his spells in these caves and because he was surrounded by their potent magic, his powers grew more and more each day.”
“Oh no, this doesn’t sound good. Did he hurt someone?”
Hoseok shakes his head, “do you know that the glintstone breath was Razula’s curse?”
Taehyung nods his head, “yes, it was a sickness which killed her in the end. She turned to glintstone and died this way.”
“The sorcerer suffered the same fate.”
Taehyung gasps.
“One day, the magic grew too powerful for him and turned him into glintstone. His crystallised body is still in the caves until this day.”
“Oh this terrible. I feel so sad for him”, Taehyung gasps, “what a gruesome way to die.”
“Indeed”, Hoseok agrees.
They share a moment of silence in respect of the cursed sorcerer.
“He is the reason why there aren’t boys allowed at school.”
“What say you?!”
“Yes”, Hoseok nods his head, “Sorceress Ciri, she teaches magical history, told us that because of him, the school decided not to take boys as students. She said that his greed for power would show in other boys as well and they did not want to risk it.”
“This is terribly unjust. This sorcerer was greedy, but it wasn’t because he was a boy.”
“Indeed. Some of my fellow students said the same thing. I felt very welcome when they said it.”
Taehyung smiles, “I think it is very good that they spoke up”, he caresses his friend’s arm, “and that you managed to get in.”
“Yes, me too. Now all I have to do is find my connection to magic. Oh Taehyung, I feel so helpless. Everyone in my class has already found their connection. Some even found their worth already, while still I haven’t found my connection yet.”
“Their worth?” Taehyung asks, tilting his head to the side in question.
“There is magic all around us and everyone can find a connection to it. However, only a few are worthy to truly wield magic. The worthy people are marked by the magic. Some grow purple markings on their skin, for some their eyes change into a purple shade and for others, their hair turns purple. It is a visual sign that the magic deemed this person worthy. It isn’t just enough to connect to it, the magic must accept the person.”
“So it isn’t truly the person’s decision to learn magic, but that of magic itself?”
“Yes”, Hoseok says and sighs in defeat, “and I even struggle to connect to it. How should it ever see me worthy?”
“Well”, Taehyung begins, “Sorceress Selen thinks you worthy and I believe that this must mean something.”
“What if she was wrong about me?”
“I truly do not think that she was. I also think that you are worthy.”
“I know. Thank you. At least one of us needs to believe.”
“Yes, I will continue to believe. I will believe with such passion that it will be enough for both of us.”
Hoseok smiles fondly at his best friend.
“You are truly such a light, Tae”, he says and reaches out to caress his hand, “I am grateful to have you as my best friend.”
THIS IS SO GOOD THAT IT SHOULD BE PUBLISHED!!!
Whole Queendom serie should be published.
I'm very happy for him. It's good that he found new friends there who believe in him and encourage him.
Now it will get only better for him. Can't wait to read more...
“Being a sorcerer has always been Hoseok’s dream. So when a well-known and powerful sorceress sends out letters informing the young minds of the city of an upcoming position as her apprentice, Hoseok takes fate into his own hands and applies. The only problem is that learning the arts of magic is reserved for women. He is convinced however that hard work and effort can charm the sorceress’ heart and get him the position.”
Pairing: Magic Student!Hoseok x Magic Student!Reader
Genre: Fantasy!AU, Magic School!AU, s2f2potential lovers!AU, Romance
Warnings: lots of plot, 90% of this is written from Hoseok’s POV, Queendom!Tae being the bestest friend, they’re both so adorable, the students are mean to him at first :(, except for reader heheh she is a sweetheart <3, also idk if this is important but i got inspired by Elden Ring as far as some names are concerned istfg best game <3, this will have a second part where reader’s pov plays a bigger part and the romance is gonna be bigger as well <3, for now this story is very magic & Hobi’s journey to magic centered, but also some romantic tension is present as well hngngn, istfg i love this universe
Wordcount: 6.5k of 24.3k
✴ Part Two of Two ✴
Hoseok returns to the school with new energy. Spending the days with Taehyung truly helped him see the bright side of things again. He knows that he can do it. Hoseok is motivated to find his connection.
Two weeks however pass and Hoseok still fails to find his connection. His fellow students have already managed the second step each and proved their worth, while he still struggled to connect. The motivation of once has long died out again.
It is dinner time, but Hoseok is not in the eating hall.
“Have you seen Hoseok?” Ainar asks you and Ash.
“I haven’t.”
“I haven’t either.”
“Do you believe that he is alright? He looked very sad after class today.”
“I think it really saddens him that he cannot connect to the magic”, Ash says, “poor Hoseok, I truly wish for him to find it.”
“Yes, me too”, Ainar agrees.
“I am most certain that he will. He has to. With the test coming up”, you say.
“What do you think will happen to him if he cannot connect until then?”
Nobody dares to speak, eventhough all of you share the same thought. That if Hoseok fails, it could mean that he will have to pack his belongings and leave this school. A kind heart will only prove one worthy for that long before the missing skill catches up with one. Hoseok might have the kindness a great sorcerer should posses, but if he cannot access the magic, it means that he is simply that. A kind person. Nobody dares to speak these thoughts however because you truly wanted the best for him.
Ainar moved into your room after Becca had to leave. Ash voiced her deep regrets for her behaviour in the beginning and confessed that she was too scared to stand up to Becca in fear of being excluded. Hoseok forgave her and then offered her a piece of chocolate. Ever since then, your little group has been good friends. If you weren’t practicing or studying, you spend many hours laughing and talking in your shared sitting room. You think that Hoseok has the most wonderful laugh and the most thrilling stories to tell. His absence would truly be painful and none of you want his leave.
You agree to take dinner back to your bed chamber so Hoseok wouldn’t have to go to sleep hungry. Tomorrow will be a busy day as you will have potion class with sorceress Zenith and her lectures are always very draining. Hoseok needs to eat something unless he wants to faint.
He isn’t in the shared sitting room and so you knock on your bed chamber.
“Mhm.”
You open the door, Ash and Ainar follow.
“Hoseok? We brought you dinner.”
“I am not hungry.”
Hoseok lies in his bed with the blanket pulled over his head and his back turned to the door.
“You must eat. We have sorceress Zenith tomorrow. You will suffer if you don’t eat something.”
“I am not going to class tomorrow.”
“What? Why?”
“But you love potion class”, Ash says.
“You say it always brings you joy”, Ainar insists.
“I don’t want to.”
You pull the blanket off his head. He whips around and tries to grab for it.
“Don’t. Just leave me be”, he complains.
“We worry for you.”
“Don’t you want to try the food? It is very delicious tonight”, Ainar tries.
Hoseok eyes it, then his friends. They look so worried for him. He gives up with a sigh, sitting up in his bed. He accepts the bowl of fresh fish stew and the piece of white bread with it.
“May we sit down?”
Hoseok nods his head. You sit down on his bed next to him, paying him company like this.
“You will be able to do it”, Ash says.
“Today was just the first day of the week and you still have three moons to prepare for the test. I am very positive that you will manage until then.”
“And if I won’t? We all know what this will mean. That I will lose my spot at this school. What good is a magic student who cannot even connect to his magic?”
You exchange a look with the others. One Hoseok notices. He sags his shoulders in defeat.
“Perhaps I should already pack my belongings and leave, before I embarrass myself.”
“No, don’t speak like this. You will be able to do it. I just know you will”, you insist, reaching out to touch his arm before pulling back again. You have never touched him before. It would be strange to do so now.
Hoseok doesn’t notice it as he is too busy staring sad holes into the wall.
“Please, you must at least try”, Ash insists, “we do not wish to say goodbye to you.”
“Do you truly feel this way?” Hoseok asks.
You each nod your heads.
“Oh”, he lets out and lowers his head. His cheeks feel hot, his heart light in his chest, “I didn’t think that you would”, he confesses, “thank you. I must work hard, so we do not have to say goodbye to each other then.”
“Yes, exactly. If you want to, I can help you tomorrow after class”, you offer.
“Truly?”
You nod your head, “yes truly.”
“Then, I would love this.”
“It is decided then. Now eat your stew. I think that they used the freshest fish tonight. It tastes so wonderful.”
You and Hoseok meet up after late lunch. Ash and Ainar are outside with a few other girls, practicing for the exam. Some others are occupying the library.
“Where should we go? Our chamber?” Hoseok asks.
“No, I have a better idea”, you say and wave him with you, “follow me.”
Hoseok follows you in a quick step, greeting a few students as you pass them by. You also meet Sorceress Ciri on your path.
“Where are you off to?” she asks.
“The caves. We want to practice for the exam”, you tell her.
“Be careful. Especially you”, she addresses Hoseok with it.
“I, I will”, he stutters.
“Good. Some stones may very well only turn out to be stones. Dull, lightless failures.”
Hoseok blinks in shock.
“And some may outshine all others once they’ve reached the light”, you throw back angrily and tug at Hoseok’s sleeve, “come on Hoseok, we are already running late.”
Hoseok stumbles after you with his eyes glued to Sorceress Ciri for as long as possible. The sorceress curls her lips and clicks her tongue, turning her back to him before strutting off with her nose stuck high into the sky.
“Pay her words no mind. She is a bitter old hag.”
Hoseok gasps at your harsh words.
“Forgive me, I grew up with less classes in manners”, you say, “I won’t take back what I said, however.”
Hoseok lets a small smile wash over his lips, “it is alright.”
The caves can be reached through a sturdy door. It is very important not to imagine the caves like one might imagine a typical cave. Dark, wet, cold. The glintstone caves are none of these things. They dig deep and lower into the mountain, but no corner of it is dark. Magic deep in the crystal makes them glow, illuminating the paths and stairs this way. The air is quite comfortable on the skin and leaves no wet sensation behind, carrying magical scents one might describe as sweet while others might take them in as fresh. Tables and chairs are scattered on the bigger areas where students can sit and practice. They are currently empty. And purple clouds of magic dance in the air. A waterfall is rushing in the background, its waters can be used in healing potions.
You and Hoseok choose a table surrounded by glintstone and not far from the door.
“Let me”, Hoseok offers and fixes the chair for you.
“Thank you”, you say with a quick flutter in your heart, “what a surprise.”
“Oh? Oh, forgive me. Force of habit. I am so used to fixing chairs for Taehyung.”
“It is alright. I didn’t mind.”
Hoseok sits down opposite of you, looking around the cave.
“I still cannot believe that something like this truly exists.”
“Yes, me neither”, you agree, “now, are you ready to practice?”
He nods his head vividly.
“Take out your stone.”
Hoseok obeys.
“Show me your process.”
Hoseok obeys. Just like always, he fails to lift the stone.
“As you can see, I am as far as I was on the first day”, he jokes, lifting the corners of your lips into a smile.
“I am most certain that something happened inside you. Something that perhaps needs just a little bit of help?”
“Help?”
“Please do not judge me, but I did some reading”, you say and pull out a carefully written paper, “here. You can have these notes.”
“Truly?” Hoseok accepts them gladly.
“Yes. These are only my theories and I am but a mere beginner as well, so take them with caution. But I was thinking that perhaps your own magic is simply not strong enough to find its connection with you.”
“Not strong enough you say?”
“Yes. Watch me.”
Hoseok follows you with his eyes. You reach to your side and touch the glintstone, making it glow. It feels warm and comfortable and you take this feeling to transfer it into the stone to make it float. Hoseok’s stone floats soon after, the small table follows as well.
Hoseok gasps in awe.
“You see? Perhaps you have to channel the energies in these caves and your magic will be stronger”, you say, lowering the objects again. The glow dies down, as does the warmth in your fingertips, “strong enough so that it can finally find its connection.”
“That was remarkable.”
“Thank you. Try it yourself.”
“Forgive me?” Hoseok gasps with widened eyes, “how should I do such a thing?”
“Simply try. Perhaps you need a little help to connect with your magic. Perhaps you cannot produce enough energy yet and need a strengthening from these stones.”
“So you believe that with a stronger source, I could awaken my magic inside? Like feeding a dying fire more wood?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“Perhaps this could work”, Hoseok says and stands up to touch the glintstone just like you did.
It makes soft sounds, soaking the pads of his fingers with coldness. He closes his eyes, focusing on the sensation.
“Try to visualise it”, you whisper.
Hoseok imagines glowing stones and warmth in his fingers. He imagines purple haze all around him and how it soaks his fibres. He imagines his practice stone floating and how much warmer his hands would get.
He imagines, but he fails to truly put it into reality. He opens his eyes. Coldness. No glow. He drops his hand from the stone and sinks down on his chair, burying his face in his hands.
“I tried so hard”, he gets out shakily.
“Try again.”
“No, just give it up. It won’t work.”
“But it has to”, you say and touch the stone. You make it glow, “look! I, I did it for you. Keep this glow alive”, you try.
“How?”
“Touch it and try to keep it alive.”
Hoseok obeys even if his eyes seem hopeless.
“I am counting to three and then you give it life. One, two, three.”
Bright light for but a breath, sudden flickering which weakens the glow more and more until the stone is dark again.
“You did it!”
“I didn’t do anything. I failed”, Hoseok insists and pulls his hands away.
“No, you did something. The stone flickered before it died out. You kept it alive for but a moment.”
“No, I didn’t. It was simply your magic leaving it.”
“No it wasn’t. You did that.”
“Give it up, ___. I am hopeless.”
“No, you are not.”
“Why do you want my success so badly? Why can’t you just let it go?”
“Because I like you”, you blurt out.
Hoseok closes his mouth, gawking at you with widened eyes. His pulse flutters for but a moment.
“And I want your dream to become reality. I want it so very much. Not only for you, but also for my brother. You cannot give up, Hoseok please. You could change the world and make it possible so that dreamers like my brother have a chance as well.”
“But I am just a boy”, Hoseok whispers,
“You are not just a boy. You are Hoseok, you are strong and resilient and a wonderful dreamer.”
“But how should I change the world?”
“By not giving up. By believing in yourself.”
Hoseok lowers his head shyly.
“And if you cannot believe in yourself right now, believe in me and my support for you.”
Hoseok meets your gaze. Honesty, hope, admiration. He can see it in your purple eyes. You speak the truth. You really believe in him.
“Thank you”, he breathes, looking at your lips for but a moment, “for saying this.”
“I meant it. I cannot say goodbye to you, so please do not give up already.”
He smiles shyly, “I won’t.”
You retort his smile, letting your eyes run over his face. He has a birthmark on his lip. You never noticed it until now. Your mother always tells you that birthmarks show up on a person’s body where they were kissed especially much in their past life.
Hoseok lets out a shy laugh, ripping you back to reality. You look away instantly, clearing your throat loudly.
“I uhm”, you begin.
He clears his throat and looks away, turns to touch the glintstone. His cheeks feel hot. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine how his hands warm up as well.
A tickle. At the very tips of his fingers. Hoseok gasps and pulls away instinctively.
“What is it? Did you feel something?”
“No. Yes. I mean, I cannot say. My fingertips tickled.”
“Try again. Oh, this could be it!”
Hoseok touches the stone with both hands and closes his eyes. A tickle. He has to imagine a tickle which becomes warmth.
Nothing happens. He pulls away, shaking his head sadly.
“Try again.”
“I don’t think that your theory works. I am truly sorry.”
“But it has to”, you say and take his hands so you could place them on the stone.
Hoseok gasps quietly, gawking at his hands engulfed in yours. The touch goes so deep. He quite frankly, finds it a little hard to breathe all of a sudden.
You make the stone glow, keeping his hands between yours and the glowing crystal.
“Feel it? How warm it becomes?” you try, squeezing his hands, “how it is tickling your palms?”
You look at his face. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes widened slightly. It is enough to make you realise the situation you currently find yourself in. You are touching him. You crossed the line.
“Forgive me”, you say, pulling away instantly.
Hoseok keeps his hands on the stone, looking at you just as you look at him. You both miss how the stone keeps glowing, just as Hoseok doesn’t take in how warm his hands have become. The eye contact takes all your attention.
“I shouldn’t have taken your hands. Please forgive me.”
Hoseok shakes his head, “there is nothing to forgive.”
He retreats his hands. The stone finally darkens. Neither of you take it in.
“I-”, you begin.
“Young students, why are you still here?”
You never get to finish your sentence as sorceress Zenith interrupts you before you can. You and Hoseok stand up to bow at her.
“Forgive us, sorceress Zenith. We practiced for our exam”, Hoseok says.
“Hard work is honourable, but do not forget your sleep. It is late, young students. You must prepare for the night and I cannot allow you to be here any longer”, she says and waves the big set of keys around she uses to lock the caves overnight.
“We are already leaving. Forgive us”, Hoseok says and hurries away with you by his side.
You wait until you cross a corner before breaking into giggles.
“I cannot believe that we got caught by sorceress Zenith”, you snicker.
“My heart is racing. Did you see how she looked at us?” Hoseok giggles.
“Oh, we are so doomed.”
“No, do not say that. I am already doomed enough”, he chuckles.
“Forgive me, oh forgive me”, you laugh, stumbling from laughing so hard that Hoseok has to hold your sleeve for support.
You stumble into your chamber still laughing about your run in with sorceress Zenith. Ainar and Ash are already in their room.
“Do you mind if I washed myself first?” you ask him.
“Not at all. I might go to the library either way. I must read up on the theory.”
“But what if sorceress Zenith will catch you again?” you tease, stepping closer to him in a playful way.
“Then I will tell her that it was your idea”, Hoseok throws back and gives your shoulder a little poke.
You snicker, moving closer. Hoseok grins, chasing you. Your faces are mere inches away from touching.
Realisation. Hearts flutter.
You break away instantly, looking everywhere but the other person.
“I uhm, I am in the library”, Hoseok stutters.
“I understand, uh, have fun”, you say and leave for the washing chamber.
Hoseok calls your name. You look over your shoulder.
“Yes?”
“I uhm”, he clears his throat, blushing slightly. He shakes his head and looks away coyishly, “forget it. I was rambling.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll be in the library”, Hoseok says and bows deeply, “thank you for helping me.”
“I uh”, you do not get to finish you sentence before he is already gone. What did he want to tell you?
Hoseok attempts to concentrate, but his mind is racing. Thoughts about you and the unexplainable flutters you awoke in him tonight, thoughts about the tickles in his fingertips but also worries about the test and his continuous failures.
The theory you told him sounded so perfect and yet he still failed to find his connection. The good thoughts of you drown out more and more, the longer Hoseok thinks about his failures.
He doesn’t quite know how many hours he spent pondering his dark future and trying to find help in books, but his tired body lets him know that it must have been a few.
The library is dead silent. Hoseok should really be in his chambers already. Not only because the school rules say so, but also because it is way too late to still be awake. But Hoseok couldn’t sleep if he tried. Five moons passed ever since the weekend and he still hasn’t found his connection to magic. Not even practicing in the caves helped him. He feels like a failure. Perhaps Sorceress Ciri was right. Perhaps he is destined to be dull, lightless stone.
“Hoseok?”
He looks at the person having whispered his name.
“Sorceress Selen?” he gasps, scrambling to his feet to bow at her.
“Please stay comfortable”, she tells him and sits down on the chair opposite of him, “what are you still doing up?”
“Please forgive me. I didn’t notice how late it already was. I will go to my chambers right away. I promise it won’t happen again.”
“Sit, Hoseok.”
He follows her orders with a racing heart. He is scared. Will this be the night he is finally told to leave? He fumbles with his fingers nervously, trying to look into the sorceress‘ purple eyes despite his hammering heart.
“You do not seem like yourself lately. Is there something troubling you?” she however asks him with motherly concern in her voice.
Hoseok looks at his lap instantly, feeling his eyes water. It has been too long since someone spoke to him with such maternal worry in their voice. He feels too fragile tonight not to have a reaction to it.
“There is something troubling you, isn’t there?” she gasps upon seeing the tears in his eyes.
He nods his head.
“Talk to me, my young student.”
“I am scared.”
“Scared?”
He nods his head, “scared to fail tomorrow’s test. I am such a failure. I feel unworthy of your teachings. I even fail to do something as simple as lifting a stone with my mind.”
“Do not give up hope yet, my young student.”
“It all feels hopeless”, Hoseok sniffles, “what if I was never meant to learn magic? What if my dream is truly foolish? What if boys are simply not meant to possess magic? Sorcerer Argon was proof enough. I am but a foolish boy with foolish ambitions”, Hoseok says and rubs at his eyes to stop himself from truly crying.
The sorceress Selen studies his sad stature, taking a deep breath. She fixes her dress and straightens up.
“I am going to tell you a story”, she begins.
Hoseok looks at her.
“A story of a powerful sorcerer and how he managed to write history.”
“A sorcerer? There was another sorcerer?” Hoseok gasps.
“Oh yes there was.”
“So it is truly possible for boys to learn magic without losing control?”
“Oh yes it is. There was one sorcerer, who traversed these lands many, many centuries ago and who till this day is spoken about.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes. He was a powerful mage, who had incredible magic inside him. He always spoke of creating a spell so grande he will be able to leave this plain and travel to another universe.”
“This is impossible. Nobody could be that powerful. You said so yourself.”
“But he was.”
“No”, he gasps.
“Yes, yes indeed he was, dear Hoseok. Indeed he was. He worked decades on this one spell and he always spoke of leaving this universe and finding another where he will be able to create his own school of magic.”
“For boys and girls?”
“Yes indeed. For boys and girls. He spoke of it in many of his writings. And so he worked on the spell until one day he was gone. His servant had gone to the market for fresh eggs and when he returned, the mage’s office was completely cleaned out. Except for one small letter.”
“What did it say?”
“Dear Bartemo. That was his servant’s name. Dear Bartemo, if you read this letter and I am nowhere to be found, it seems that my spell was finally successful. I took my research with me. However, the estate and all its belongings are yours from this day forward. I am off to teach many young children the arts of magic. With kindest regards, Nilrem.”
“Nilrem”, Hoseok repeats, “I have read this name in scriptures long ago. I never believed this name to be important. Was he ever found? Did he return? What about his research? Is it truly lost?”
“Oh yes, sadly he took it with him. He was never seen in this realm again and Bartemo lived to eighty years of age before a fever took him. He never saw his master again, but he always spoke highly of him.”
“This is truly such a wonderful story. I thank you for telling me. Nilrem. I will remember the name and see it as motivation to grow as a sorcerer”, Hoseok lets out an excited giggle, scrunching his nose, “do you believe that he was successful? That he managed to teach magic to younglings?”
“I like to believe that he was. It is truly a shame that in this realm, it is still so frowned upon for boys to learn magic, so I truly hope that in at least another universe, Nilrem managed to make the world a fairer place.”
“Yes, yes this sounds good”, Hoseok says and nods his head, “oh, I am spilling over with sudden motivation. I need to practice my spells, yes I must. Please if you would excuse me”, he says and jumps up to hurry away.
The sorceress Selen watches him with fond eyes until the library door closes behind him. He is a student she finds herself very fond of already.
“___!” Hoseok calls your name, stumbling through the door.
You lift your head from your pillow, studying his face with sleepy eyes. He looks out of breath.
“Yes?” you croak with your voice heavy from sleep.
“Sorcerer existed in these lands!”
“What do you mean?”
Hoseok jumps onto your bed and touches your arm in excitement, shaking you in your comfortable blanket cocoon. You whine quietly, feeling oh so dizzy.
“I spoke with sorceress Selen in the library and she told me a story of a powerful sorcerer, who wandered these lands thousands of years ago. His name was Nilrem and he was so powerful that he could traverse universes.”
“Universes?” you murmur and yawn loudly, “what do you mean universes?”
“Yes, universes! He went to another universe and was never seen again. Oh ___, boys can learn magic”, Hoseok drops his head into your blanket, hugging you this way, “and they can be powerful without losing control. I can learn magic as well, it is possible.”
You tense up in shock, feeling your heart speed up in your chest. He feels very warm and comfortably heavy on your chest. Oh by Frenya, you wear but a thin sleeping gown and his head is dangerously close to your bosom. Thankfully for your own sanity of heart, Hoseok sits up again. He is too overtaken in excitement to truly realise what he has done and what he did to your poor heart in the process.
“I can learn magic as well, ___”, he says and laughs so brightly his lips form the prettiest of hearts.
“So this means that sorceress Ciri lied today”, you say.
“Yes it was a lie”, Hoseok says and sighs in relief, “I am not a failure.”
“Of course you aren’t”, you say and sit up, covering yourself with the blanket, “I always believed in you. She was very rude and wrong for talking to you like this.”
“I thank you for saying this”, Hoseok gives your upper arm a gentle rub, “I am very happy to have you as my chamber mate.”
“Oh”, you feel your cheeks heat up, lowering your eyes shyly, “I am happy as well”, you whisper.
“Now, you must excuse me. I am in the garden, practicing until I can finally lift a stone”, Hoseok says and jumps out of your bed. He slips into his shoes and gives you a smiley wave goodbye before finally disappearing out of the room.
You touch the spot on your upper arm he rubbed, then the spot on your chest his head rested upon, taking a deep breath to calm down the flutter of your heart.
He is already doing magic. Deep, deep in your chest where you pulse just doesn’t want to slow down.
Hoseok isn’t in his bed when you wake early the next morning. You leave your sleeping chambers. The door to Ainar’s and Ash’s chamber is still closed and right there on the soft seating, Hoseok is sleeping with his mouth wide open. Half of his limbs hang from the edge off the seat, his long hair does as well. His practice glintstone sits on the table. The notes you made for him lie beside it.
For but a second you let him sleep peacefully, letting your eyes wander over him. His body is still dressed in the white clothing of yesterday, his shoes are scattered by the entrance. Your eyes linger but a second on his exposed neck and how the morning sun paints streaks of golden light on his skin.
You had a difficult time falling asleep last night as your mind kept you awake with thoughts of what happened between you and him. Barely anything did if one compares it to truly big happenings, but it meant a lot to you. You touched his hands, you shared playful banter in front of the bathing chamber with him, he hugged you. You never experienced something like this before and you couldn’t quite place the feelings it awakes in your chest.
You lift your eyes upon hearing Ash open her door. She and Ainar leave their room.
“Oh? What happened to him?”
“Practice. I think he practiced all night.”
Hoseok, who wakes up from your voices, sits up. He groans loudly, touching his neck instantly.
“By Frenya, my neck”, he whines, massaging in vividly, “huh?!” he suddenly straightens up, “what time is it? Oh, the test!” he blurts out and jumps up to run out of the room.
“We still have two hours left”, you stop him before he can.
“Oh”, he stops, “really?”
“Yes, enough time for you to wash up. You look rather battered.”
“I feel battered. My neck is going to kill me”, he says and rolls it, groaning as he does.
“Did you sleep here all night?” Ainar asks.
“No. I fell asleep with the sun rising.”
“But it has only been light for an hour.”
“I know”, Hoseok says and yawns.
“Why did you stay up this long? How should you concentrate today?”
“I will make it work”, Hoseok says, furrowing his brows in conviction. He lets his eyes drift to yours, “I have a dream to fulfil.”
A smile graces your face for but a moment, before you feel too shy to keep the eye contact going. Hoseok looks to the side.
“Now if you don’t mind, I would like to wash the day away.”
“Go ahead. I already bathed last night”, Ash assures him, “Ainar and I will be in the eating hall.”
“May I accompany you?” you ask them.
“Of course.”
You leave Hoseok alone in your shared room. He picks up his practice stone and walks to his room to get new clothing so he could get dressed in the bathing chamber.
He meets you and the others in class. Like so very often, you bring breakfast because you knew that he would skip it for the sake of practicing just a little more. He eats it seated by his desk and with his nervous eyes glued to his practice stone. The swell of his eye sacs and the redness of his eyes haven’t gone down yet. He is so visibly tired in fact, that sorceress Selen asks if he was feeling alright once she enters the classroom. Sorceress Ciri is with her as well.
“I simply practiced all night”, he tells her.
“Sleep is important, my young student”, she tells him.
“I know, sorceress Selen. I will get it today.”
She nods in approval, then claps into her hands.
“Very well then, shall we get started with the tests? I am most certain that you all want to get it over with as quickly as possible. Who wants to start?”
Some students lift their hands and so the testing begins.
The test consists of two parts. One based on knowledge and the other on action. Sorceress Ciri asks each student two questions about the history of magic and then sorceress Selen asks two more questions about glintstone magic. The practical part comes last where the students have to lift their practice stone and guide it to a mug on the teacher’s desk where they will have to lower it into the mug carefully.
The other students are asked to be quiet during the testing. Some busy themselves by drawing in their books, while others read up on their notes and others listen to the testing. There are also people like Hoseok and Ash, who use the time to practice. Ash manages to lift her stone, moving it around with swirls of her finger. Soon it is her turn and then it will be your turn and then it will be his turn.
Hoseok gulps nervously and tries to concentrate on practicing. He didn’t manage to lift the stone during his nightly session. He will have to make it work or else he will fail. He knows what he needs to know, he could have answered each question the sorceresses asked his fellow students, but fails at the most crucial part. How will he be able to pass when he cannot put the knowledge into practice?
Ash returns to her seat, looking relieved. You stand up.
“Good luck”, Hoseok tells you, earning himself a sweet smile.
“Thank you.”
Hoseok listens to your testing. The questions are easy and you manage to answer them quickly and coherently. The practical part follows. You move the stone with ease, ending it by painting a circle with it before lowering it into the mug. It brings a chuckle to sorceress Selen’s lips.
“Good job, my young student”, she praises you, “please return to your seat.”
You hurry to it with a relieved grin on your lips. Ash and Ainar praise you instnaly.
“You did so well”, Hoseok says.
“Thank you”, you tell him.
“Hoseok, please come out”, sorceress Ciri tells him.
He takes a deep breath and stands up.
“Good luck. I believe in you”, you tell him.
“Good luck”, Ash says.
“You can do it”, Ainar encourages him.
Hoseok acknowledges them with a nervous smile. He can hear how much quieter the classroom became. Which means a lot, because it was already quiet. Everyone is watching him. He is aware of it. This is it. The moment which will decide if he is worthy of being a sorcerer or not.
Hoseok sits down, sweating buckets from just his palms. At least it feels like it.
“When was the first magic school founded?” sorceress Ciri asks him.
Hoseok has to think for a moment. This wasn’t in the curriculum. He isn’t surprised that she asks him a question like this.
“It depends. If we take the writings of Sorceress Sorn into consideration, it is said that the first school of magic was founded as early as 218 of the second age by a group of dragon worshippers who discovered that glintstone can be harnessed for magic, but her writings are still seen as a rather incomplete source because of the great fires nine hundred years ago. So we use the Book of History written by sorceress Cicil in 1306 of the third age as the guide. In it, it says that the first school of magic was actually founded around two thousand years later than sorceress Sorn says in her writings and that the founders weren’t dragon worshippers, but scholars who studied glintstone for many centuries.”
Sorceress Ciri scrunches her nose in distaste. She didn’t think that he could answer this question. Hoseok lifts his head proudly.
“Very good”, she presses out, “where did the practice of Mending originate from?”
“The Glass Mountains in the school of sorceress Reah.”
“What even is Mending?”
“It is the magic of healing wounds by channelling the energies of the planets and using them to mend what was broken.”
“And why do we channel energies from the planets?”
“Because they are the strongest and purest form to channel. Nothing earthen has touched these energies yet and therefore soiled them. So they can be used to safely close wounds or mend broken bones.”
“And-”
“Thank you, sorceress Ciri”, sorceress Selen interrupts her, “I believe that Hoseok has already answered enough of your questions.”
The sorceress scrunches his nose in distaste.
“Fine”, she says and looks away with an annoyed gleam in her eyes.
Hoseok sends her a victorious look then shifts his eyes to sorceress Selen.
“Now Hoseok. Given how sorceress Ciri has already asked questions about glintstone magic, I believe that it is time for you to show what you have learned.”
Hoseok gulps. Truly, for just a second his heart stopped. He looks at the stone in front of him. This is it. The moment which determines if he is worthy.
“Take your time.”
Hoseok lifts his hands and visualises how the stone floats.
Nothing.
His heart races faster.
He tries harder.
Nothing.
Whispers begin in the classroom.
Hoseok lowers his hands. This is fruitless.
“Silence”, sorceress Selen warns, then speaks to Hoseok in a motherly tone, “try again. I believe in you.”
Hoseok lifts his hands again. He closes his eyes and visualises the stone. He thinks of his dream. Of how he told Taehyung that one day he will move the stars and make flowers grow from his fingers. Of how he promised his mother that one day he will be able to grow her a garden in the cold weathers of the Snow Isles. Of how he stayed up many nights to think about his life as a sorcerer. He thinks of sorceress Ciri and all the other people who so clearly see no future in him, but he also thinks of sorceress Selen and Taehyung and the princess and his chamber mates and how they all believe in him. He thinks of you and your little brother, then imagines all the other young boys who dream a dream which seemed so unreachable to them.
He thinks about how he was once one of these boys until he managed to get a spot at a magical school and how he could be the boy who changes the future for many other dreamers.
He opens his eyes, meeting ecstatic happiness in Sorceress Selen’s eyes and surprised pride in sorceress Ciri’s eyes. He looks at his hands.
The stone is floating.
“Oh! Ah!” he exclaims and almost drops it again.
“Concentration”, sorceress Selen says.
“I-I’m doing it!” he stutters with glassy eyes, “the stone is floating!”
“How wonderful, Hoseok. Now move it.”
“I am! I am moving it! Watch me!” he exclaims and makes the stone move with swirls of his fingers. And as he moves the stone with just his mind, purple soaks the white strands of his hair until even the last inch of his long locks are painted in it.
He drops the stone in the mug, jumping up with a loud yelp of excitement.
“I did it!” he turns to the class, “I moved the stone!”
His fellow students jump up in joy, cheering with him because all they wanted was his success. They run to him, circling him with some even patting his arms in congratulatory happiness.
You are with them as well, crying tears of happiness.
“You did it”, you tell him.
“I did it.”
“And your hair. Look at your hair!”
“My hair?” Hoseok tugs it into his vision, “my hair?! It is purple?!”
“The magic has deemed you worthy”, sorceress Selen says with pearls of tears in the corner of her eyes as well. She truly rooted for her dear student.
„Very impressive, young student“, sorceress Ciri says with an respectful bow of her head.
Hoseok smiles in gratitude, before looking at you and the others.
“Hoseok! You are worthy!” you exclaim and take his hands to squeeze them excitedly, “I told you. I knew that you could do it!” “Worthy? I am worthy”, Hoseok presses out and spills tears as realisation finally sets in, “I am worthy to be a sorcerer. I did it. I am worthy.”