How To Start A Knife Fight - Tumblr Posts

awokennerd

1 year ago

(P1) The Guardian, Drifter, Zavala, Crow, Shaxx and Ikora are next to the Crafting Machine. The Guardian begins. "So," (P2) "who broke it?" she asks. (P3, P4) "I'm not mad, I just wanna know." Everyone exchanges suspicious glances, (P5) and after a brief silence, (P6) Ikora sighs, "I did it. I broke it." "No, no. You didn't." The Guardian interrupts her. "Drifter?" (P7) Drifter promptly points at Zavala, "Don't look at me. Look at Zavala." "What? I didn't break it." Zavala defends himself, and Drifter continues, "Huh. That's weird."

(P8) "How'd you even know it's broken?" Drifter asks, "Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken." Zavala states the obvious. (P9) "Suspicious." "No, it's not." Drifter and Zavala continues their bickering, but Crow speaks in the background. "—if it matters, probably not..." (P10) "But Shaxx was the last one to use it." After Crow's accusation, Shaxx shouts, "Liar! I don't even know this machine!" Crow asks, "Oh really? Then what were you doing on Mars earlier?" (P11) "I send Guardians here for their Crucible matches! Everyone knows that, Crow!" Shaxx explains. (P12) Ikora tries again to stop the arguing, "Okay, okay. Let's not fight. I broke it. Let me fix it—" "No." The Guardian cuts her again." (P13) "Who broke it?" While the group discuss, Eris walks by behind them.

(P14, P15) The Crow notices her, and quietly warns. "Guardian," (P16) "Eris' been awfully quiet." Eris stands behind them, her robes and armor torn out. "Really?" (P17) As the discussion heats up in the background, the Guardian breaks the 4th wall and explains the truth. "I broke it." (P18) A quick flashback of the Guardian using the machine, glowing orange. "I messed the frames up and somehow, it worked. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with shotgun frames on autorifles and double eager edge swords." (P19) The arguing continues, Eris glowing green and the others react to it, and the Guardian watches amused. "Good. It was getting a little boring around here."

The Crafting Mystery

(yes, this is a parody — and yes this is the second time I make a parody of the same scene that is printed in my brain at this point)

Tags :

lololol how to start a knife fight other peoples guardians hunter ikora rey lord shaxx eris morn drifter zavala crow season of the witch destiny 2 d2 destiny destiny the game destiny comics destiny fan art destiny fanart art

822 notes View Post