How To Vary Up Your Dialogue - Tumblr Posts

Writing Tips Pt. 7 - Dialogue Tags

First and foremost, "said" is not dead. Let me just get that out of the way.

Of all the things that will trip readers up when reading dialogue, the use of "said" and character names are at the bottom of the list. These are safe. By all means, use them.

"But wait," you say, "my dialogue still feels stilted and forced!"

Well then, let me bring up a few other common mistakes that might be the cause of your woes, friend.

Are all of your dialogue sections structured the same way?

"What are you doing?" Diana asked. "Catching fish," John said. "But it's not fish season," Diana said. "The fish don't know that. I'm going to catch them by surprise," John said. "The fish aren't even there," Diana said. "Oh, you're right." John said.

The problem with this section of dialogue is that every line is paced the same way. Someone says something, and then there is a dialogue tag. The novice writer (myself included, once upon a time), would think the solution to this was to change what tags were used (he replied, she queried, he interjected, she retorted), or add a bunch of adverbs (she said testily, he questioned confusedly, she responded sarcastically) to try to spice it up, and consider that good enough. But that just highlights how stilted the dialogue is.

Instead, vary the pacing of the lines. Change up the structure a bit. Also, include actions in lieu of dialogue tags, so that not only are you not saying "said" almost every line, but the reader also gets to see what's going on during the scene besides just a conversation. And if you want to use an alternate tag to "said," that's just fine and it stands out less glaringly if its sparing in its use. It's also worth noting that you don't need to identify each speaker in a conversation every single time if they're the only two people in the conversation. Your readers can infer who's saying what as long as you properly put each person's dialogue on a separate line.

"What are you doing?" Diana asked, sitting beside John on the lakeside bench. John adjusted his grip on his pole. "Catching fish," he said. "But it's not fish season." "The fish don't know that." John smirked. "I'm going to catch them by surprise." Diana rolled her eyes. "The fish aren't even there." "Oh." John's eyes widened as he really looked at the lake, and his shoulders sank. "You're right."

Same dialogue, but now the reader has some visual context for the scene, and the pacing of each line is varied, so nothing feels stagnant.

Just remember that each new speaker gets a new paragraph for their dialogue. Don't lump them together in the same paragraph, as that's how readers get confused.

Also, make sure you identify new speakers near the start of long dialogue segments, not at the end. This:

"May I just say that you look quite lovely this evening? The glitter on your dress really brings out your eyes, and you've done a marvelous job with your makeup. Quite stunning, really. No one else in the room can compare to you. I would be a fool not to bask in your beauty this evening," Bob said.

Is poorly done. It takes too long for the reader to figure out who's talking so if they were imagining the wrong person speaking, they're jarred out of the story when they get to the end of the dialogue and realize the wrong person was speaking. Instead, move the dialogue tag near the beginning of the dialogue so we know who is speaking early on, like so:

"May I just say," Bob said, "that you look quite lovely this evening? The glitter on your dress really brings out your eyes, and you've done a marvelous job with your makeup. Quite stunning, really. No one else in the room can compare to you. I would be a fool not to bask in your beauty this evening."

This goes for action as dialogue tags as well.

On the topic of using adverbs to spice up the dialogue tags, the best advice I've heard is that you should avoid adverbs entirely unless they drastically change the tone of the sentence. And with dialogue tags, if there's a better, stronger word or action to use instead of "said + adverb," then use it.