I Can't Catch A Break - Tumblr Posts
DnD Story: The Great Cat Massacre
Recently my Party consisting of a Human Fighter named Bloodedge Killwulf, a Human Sorcerer who pretends to be a Cleric and calls themselves Brother Campbell, a Dwarven Monk named Braion, a Elven Druid named Bruce who is disguised as the bear that I had rescued from the Party in the past (Only my character knows they are not actually a bear), and then finally my character an Human Life Cleric who serves under Helm named Aruna. (Yes I chose a Human, DM allowed Human Variant so I could take a feat early on at the cost of all the 1+ stats)
We were offered a job to look into the recent phenomenon of 3/4 of a major town either dropping dead or suddenly standing up and leaving behind all their possessions and family with no warning. Arriving at the town we see a GIANT cemetery, so naturally we walk over there to look for any sign of what is going on. At the cemetery we see an old cabin; My character walks up to it and knocks on the door multiply times each time getting louder. Until Aruna is certain there is no one inside. The party comes to the agreement to kick down the door with Aruna trying first and succeeding. Upon entering she is faced with 8 growling cats, however, Aruna loves animals and attempts to calm them down by feeding them the Bear jerky left over from the Bear Massacre and this also succeeds. Now Aruna has 8 very hungry and very friendly cats now eating the jerky Aruna had given them.
Now you may be asking yourself how does this story turn into a Cat Massacre is all the cats are friendly. Well this is when Bloodedge, Brother Campbell, and Braion walks in (Bruce can’t fit through the door). The cats seeing these new people start hissing at them, and Brother Campbell not having time to deal with the cats kicks the nearest cat to the side so he can start investigating the house. Except he rolls very well for both to hit and damage, and the DM had given the cats little health resulting in the cat being kicked so hard into the wall that it practically exploded. Seeing the cat die so easily Bloodedge and Braion join in on killing the cats. Aruna having rolled extremely low on initiative. Looked on in horror as 6 more cats are practically obliterated until it is her turn were she basically scoops up the remaining cat and shields it from the rest of the party.
But it doesn’t just end there. Oh no, this is when the old hard of hearing lady walks up the stairs and sees 7 of her cats DEAD and one in the arms of a stranger. She screams at Aruna to stop attacking her cats and when she goes to scream at Brother Campbell, the sly liar that he his with almost 18 Charisma. Lies to the old lady that he and the party was just trying to stop my character from killing the cats. Of course he rolls incredibly well and already having proficiency in deception and persuasion. She easily believed them and proceeded to watch as my party “arrested” Aruna. All the while she screamed that she was innocent and was actually trying to protect the old lady’s cats.
Dandelion: *shakes Geralt awake* Geralt!
Geralt: huh- HUH oh... Dandelion.. you scared me from my deep slumber.
Dandelion: You have never been in a deep slumber, you’re traumatised.
You cant even go to bed when you’re tired cuz you’re always in survival mode
Geralt: .........
Dandelion: I love you-
Geralt:
