I Just Need Someone To Validate Me - Tumblr Posts

And the ABSOLUTE WORSE thing about this is that my stepmom to-be called be apathetic during all of this. I didn’t tell her about why I didn’t want to wear the dress, so I must have seemed angry and uncooperative for no reason, but still. She knows that I have a harder time showing emotion and that it’s a huge effort for me to be empathetic. She knows that I hate being called apathetic or emotionless because it’s such a harrowing take for me to show my emotions, and she still called me it. It stung. AND I COULDN’T EVEN SHOW THAT, so I was just proving her right, and now I don’t know what to do.

So my parents are getting married soon, and Im happy for them and everything, but there’s one problem. I have to wear a dress.

I’ve tried to protest this time and again but everyone assumes I’m joking. I refused to take body measurements, I haven’t shown anyone else what I look like in the dress, and I’ve asked multiple times if I could change after the ceremony.

This is for a lot pf reasons. I didn’t take the measurements because I have body dysmorphia and am insecure about my weight and appearance. I also hate the color that the dress is required to be and don’t really care for the shape.

But, overall, the main reason why I hate it is because it’s a dress. I’ve always hated gender-conforming clothes. They always felt too formal, stuffy, and had an air of finality to them that I’ve always disliked.

I don’t know how to tell my parents that I don’t want to wear the dress they’ve already bought me. It was super expensive and I’d hate to be a burden. Plus, I’d need to fit in to be camouflaged in the pictures (which I also hate because I’m camera-shy and hate having pictures of me taken).