I Will Not Judge You - Tumblr Posts

My situation is literally when someone knows or realizes too much... hyper awareness. Then when I try to shine light on certain things that certain people aren't aware of, it's like they cut me off or call me crazy; when I'm simply opening, or trying to open, their eyes about well known patterns and things in the world. They still choose to ignore it instead of realizing that truth and preparing. This isn't about "religion". This is however about factual things happening in our world and happening around us and happening to us that reflect in scripture that was written thousands of years ago. But the people who claim to love me ostracize me. They do not and will not listen. I don't go about preaching to them in a chastising way either. I simply inform them, or try to inform them, and they don't and won't listen; if anything they ignore me and label me crazy. That's what I meant by there is no real love here on Earth. It really isn't. Only God is the one that truly loves and listens and cares. God will never forsake or ostracize you. Only if you aren't faithful then will God have absence. God has the ability and power to truly forgive and forget your transgressions as long as you keep faithful.

I didn't understand what was happening to me for YEARS. I was self-harming and having thoughts that I hated and didn't agree with. I was having issues of loneliness of not wanting to be alone and yet, when people (or other kids when I was a kid) would try to invite themselves into my life, I would always push myself away. I never truly fit in ANYWHERE WITH ANYBODY. But I understand now that it's not because I'm better than anyone or anything like that, but I am chosen and what I mean by that is that I am the only deep thinker around me and not one else ever resonates with me. I say that in the least boastful way possible. I'm not here to boast. But it's something I just really notice, on top of the fact that no one can connect with what I'm going through, I'm single, no children, always been alone truly, always have been attacked spiritually; whether it was seeing things as a child or even as an adult, whether it was being forced to do sexual things when I was younger or whether it was my dad humiliating me or beating me, or whether it was constant bullying and being an outcast by cousins or school friends, whether it was my uncle who constantly got away with bullying or hurting me or whether it was having confused thoughts that I didn't understand. I FORGIVE ALL OF IT🙏. It hurt me, alot of it lead me to a crippling porn addiction, which lead me to turn against myself even more by suicide attempts cutting myself and in recent past years a major sudden, UNEXPECTED, drug addiction🤔😳. It still baffles me because anyone who knows me, drugs were NEVER and were always the furthest thing from anything I ever wanted to deal with. I feel like this all occurred because not only was I not in touch with God earlier on and consistently, but God was calling me and I never gave God the focus that I should have. I'm an only child and barely survived, a premature child. My mother and I almost passed away while she was in labor, She CANNOT have anymore children, I stayed sick as a child, my mother has had constant health issues ever since I was born. With all of this it can't be ignored. I survived alot of deadly suicide attempts. Someone, SOMETHING, wants me here alive for a purpose. I give that up to God. God kept me here and alive for a reason. I can't ignore that. There are many others like me that are HEAVILY tested. I'm not saying that I'm special or better than anyone else. But I do believe, along with MANY others, I am chosen. God bless, and just know, if you feel alone it's because God chose you to be alone and is preparing you. I'm here to listen as well. I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU. I understand the greatly misunderstood. Feel free to talk to me if you feel no one in the world will listen. No matter what it is. God bless