''ignore Them!'' That Doesn't Work. It Makes It Worse Because The Bully Will Only Up The Abuse To Get A Bigger Reaction. - Tumblr Posts
i've already replied to this one but it struck a chord with me.
bullies HATE when they're overpowered. they're afraid of it. they feel threatened by it because the little toy they've been pushing around is suddenly pushing them instead and now they don't know what to do. using your words, taking all the teacher's advice and trying to "be the bigger person" will only get you bullied more and more and more because that is not what bullies respond well to. they take that as a sign of weakness and will only escalate it further, and at that point it becomes a situation where you can no longer use your words anymore and you have to use your fists. you have to listen to your survival instincts and fight back, because the shit teachers preach to you with, all the washed out "ignore it" "be nice to them" "tell them to stop"s, will just make you into a pushover. giving that bully a swift punch in the nose, a kick to the stomach (or the nuts) and a firm elbow shove to the chest will show them that you are a threat, they will face consequences for enacting actions on you and that you will not be an easy target for them. they will learn the lesson of "playing stupid games gets you stupid prizes" and likely won't try to fuck with you again. give them the biggest reaction they could ever hope for.
look i understand that using your words is generally considered to be a more "mature" solution to a conflict and that you can't always take the physical route when you're an adult, but the point where it becomes harassment is no longer a conflict. that is now a chain of abuse, and every single person deserves to know how to physically defend against that. i also understand that sometimes, physical defence might escalate something into full blown violence, in which people should also be taught backup strategies like surrounding yourself with other people and contacting the police (as much as i hate the police, sometimes they can help) if needed.
teachers should be giving people self-defence strategies. there should be classes on how to use your body to fight against harassment when words fail you. but they aren't for some reason that i'm not entirely sure why (apart from what op said about teachers never experiencing bullying themselves). maybe it's a control thing. maybe it's a systemic thing. i'm not sure. but the point is that they aren't and they really REALLY should be because it works.
any punishment you could get for defending yourself physically in school is temporary. the effects of trauma from bullying lasts forever. you deserve the skills to be able to end this cycle and show them who not to fuck with. do not forgive and do not forget.
“The bullying will go away if you just handle it with enough grace and kindness” is a disgusting lie that could only ever be perpetuated by someone who has never been bullied before. Anyone who has ever experienced real bullying knows that bullied respond to one thing and one thing only; consequences.