Im Here For The Chaos - Tumblr Posts

Menace meet Menace

"Astarion with a virgin Tav! 😍"

"Astarion with an innocent Tav! 😳"

"Astarion with an awkward loser Tav! 🥺"

"Astarion with an insecure Tav! 🥰"

My tiefling bard who has a body count in the hundreds, seduces people for fun and profit, flirts with 90% of the party, has sworn off relationships after getting hurt in the past, tried out most fetishes and was unimpressed, led a sex cult once, and who has a tactic figured out for dealing with mediocre sex with elves specifically, rocking up to romance Astarion:

Ok no but forreal, I need to see more Tavs who know what they're doing. Tavs who are experienced. Tavs who catch him off guard and make him work for it. Tavs who have had previous lovers and truly loved them before losing them. Please. Please my crops are dying.

my posts go from 'h a h f u n n n y g a y s e x' to 'what is the meaning of existence, are we here just to suffer' and back again in thirty seconds. no, my bad.

that is tumblr.

all of tumblr.

this absolute hellsite that is tumblr.

i love it.

I have arrived

Me, age 16: I kinda want a tumblr…

My parents: absolutely not, you don’t need another thing to scroll mindlessly on

me: yeah, you’re probably right

me now: I am a mature and responsible adult

also me: logs into tumblr