I'm Not As Stupid As You Think I Am - Tumblr Posts

floral bouquet / psychological / I'm not as stupid as you think I am (I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me)

Things have been different lately.

Did he start this or did she or was it beyond either of them entirely?

He chose to collapse at her feet. That much of it is on him at least.

But she chose to nurse him back to health. To offer him that heartbreaking smile. To let him see the soft side that he'd only caught in glimpses before when they and Vicious had been able to hit the town between assignments. Even then she hadn't revealed her vulnerable side, just the side of herself that was wild and carefree and impulsive. She was a woman of so many faces, of so many roles. The femme fatale, serious and sultry and sensuous. The enchanting vixen barely out of her teens, playful and giddy and sporting an inappropriate love of pranks and trickery. The homely nurse, radiating comfort and whose touch alone seemed to heal. The daredevil speed demon whose skill on the streets was unparalleled. The fastidious syndicate sniper, the wicked pool shark, the aloof and alluring angel with a smile like sin...

For so long he'd been content to admire from afar. To hustle arrogant assholes at her side. To take to the streets like any unencumbered young folk, making her laugh and coaxing half a smirk from Vicious even. They'd been unbeatable as a triad. Julia and Vicious, the power couple. Spike and Vicious, the ruthless team of upstarts rising through the ranks of the syndicate with brutal ease. They were young, they were bold, they were determined to own the world one day.

Then Vicious started getting into Red Eye and Julia kept disappearing on mysterious missions and Spike himself was shunted off to Earth and the TJ and then the Asteroid Field. His own claim to fame, aside from being a sharpshooter and a thug, was his unmatched ability to pilot zip craft. He was utilized as a runner for Red Eye again and again and again. His artificial eye gave him an incredible edge and the syndicate always liked to use every advantage they had. When he was in Tharsis, he and Vicious were teamed up like always but he felt like the Van was no longer doing it due to their strength as a unit but rather so Spike could keep an eye on Vicious. Yet the other man handled the drug like it was water. Spike himself was no stranger to the enhancement effects of Red Eye and could understand well the siren song of the drug... if it hadn't cost him an eye, there was no telling how deep he could have fallen, but Vicious never seemed out of sorts while on it.

So it came as a surprise when the Van made the decision to send him to Titan. Spike was unhappy about this. Vicious, while a terror to his enemies, had always been a savior to Spike. The other man had rescued him from the Red Eye binge that had left him half-blind in the midst of White Tiger territory and embroiled in a battle far beyond his ability to win or even escape alive. He would have been dead for sure if Vicious hadn't discovered Spike's overdose and tracked him down. He had left a swath of ruin in his wake, so it's not like it was difficult for Vicious to follow along after, but the fact that he had was the important bit. The syndicate would have no doubt been indifferent to his fate - even as one of Mao's favorites, he was just an enforcer back then. The Van had never been bothered by the loss of brute strength here and there. If anything, their concern would have been more on the damage he caused before self-destruction... could it be used in their favor? Would it reflect negatively on their negotiations with anyone else?

Vicious had taken it into his own hands to rescue him. Had cut down all the opponents Spike had left standing. Had scooped him up, screaming and writhing, blood pouring down his face and from countless wounds. And somehow he'd even managed to argue that Spike deserved medical care. Had managed to either bribe or intimidate or persuade the Van to put Spike under their doctor's care and get some experimental surgery to save his vision. Or, to replace what was lost rather.

For that, Spike would have followed him anywhere. He had a life still thanks to Vicious. And then for the Van to send the other man away just because they were worried about his use of Red Eye when he'd never been crazed on the stuff? It didn't sit well with Spike. He ended up plunging off the deep end again without Vicious to keep him in check. He pushed his limits and rampaged and when he was faltering, failing, falling down down down... he chose to go to Julia.

He needed a voice of reason. Someone to guide him. Someone to recognize that his soul was salvageable. He needed a caretaker. He was a beast without a master.

And Vicious was gone and she was alone and Spike was out of his mind to do what he did next.

Or did she initiate it?

It was hard to say, hard to remember. He'd been coming off another Red Eye binge but determined to stay off the damn drug this time. It had taken part of his sight and had nearly taken his life twice now... he was a fool to go back to it but he'd been adrift and underutilized by the syndicate and needed to keep his edge somehow.

And when she was removing his bandages somehow she came to be in his lap and then they were kissing and it was amazing. It was like the universe was unfolding before his very eyes. Stars exploding, breathless passion, the need to feel awake and alive and desired. It was a mistake, of course, but it was the best mistake he'd ever made. She made him feel invincible again. Made him feel like there was something to see in the next day if he could just get there.

It was a passionate affair that only tapered off when Vicious returned. He'd always known he would give her up for his oldest friend. Always knew he'd respect that the other man came first. Julia had been his, or he had been hers... either way, Spike had never expected a chance with the voluptuous blonde. And even while she'd gone back to Vicious... she toyed with Spike as well. It felt almost like psychological torture, the way she would glance over her shoulder with those come-hither eyes while she followed Vicious out of a room. The way she'd press against him at the pool hall under the guise of slipping past to make her shot. The way she'd leave rose petals on his pillow whenever he was gone from his apartment on assignment.

Roses were their thing. Vicious had never bothered with flowers - didn't understand why anyone would want a dying plant, no matter how pleasant the blooms smelled. And so Julia had always gotten herself bouquets. It gave her apartment a certain charm that was irresistible. And, because she had so frequently treated herself to those lovely arrangements, it was not at all suspicious whenever Spike was able to sneak in and leave a rose bouquet for her. He knew their scent was her favorite - she had lotions and perfumes of rose, after all. And the sentiment behind the flower was one Spike could get behind. A way to let her know the truth of his heart though he'd never said the words themselves.

It wasn't long after Vicious got back that things seemed to fall apart. Julia became closed off and withdrawn. Vicious himself was colder than before and took great pleasure in the cruelty he could inflict on their missions, something that was making Spike uncomfortable these days. He'd had a chance to embrace something meaningful and could suddenly see the beauty of affection in other aspects of the world. Could identify and empathize with the other unfortunate souls struggling to survive here in Tharsis. The city was harsh, crime was everywhere, and blood stained the streets where the syndicates clashed. Innocent lives got caught up in the crossfire too often for Spike to be able to shrug it off.

Spike continued to bring Julia roses, slowly drawing her back out of the shell she'd become. There was a sadness to her eyes that he couldn't seem to touch no matter how ardently he made love to her. His jokes no longer made her giggle. It was like a shadow had fallen over them and it filled him with a sense of forboding.

Vicious was waiting on the fire escape when they came back from the pool hall one night. He and Julia had supposedly broken up but there was something dangerous in his gaze as he watched them approach. He and Spike had bid her goodnight and walked off together, side by side and yet somehow worlds apart. There was a chasm between them and Spike wasn't sure how to bridge that gulf. The silence as they strode down the street made him wary but also drove him to speak.

"There's nothing between us," He said, trying to make the words true even as his heart twisted at his blatant lie.

Vicious snorted. "I'm not as stupid as you think I am." There was a long pause before he spoke again. "Be careful when you're with that woman." He cautioned at last, making Spike frown. And then he turned abruptly and moved off down a side street, leaving Spike standing bewildered under the flickering streetlight at a crossroads in the town and in his own life.