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"the world is cruel, but I still love you" | H.Hyunjin & Y.Jeongin

pairing: Hyunjin x Jeongin x fem!reader (skz x attack on titan au) word count: 2.9k words genre/s: slightly angst, fluff Summary: one month after the rumbling, everything started to return to normal. warning: there's a major spoiler of the ending here, death, alcohol, slight cursing, and too many references from aot a/n: I apologize for any grammar mistakes. Other than that, enjoy! I also write this just for fun. This event happened before Armin and the others returned to Paradis to tell their story. (I might or might not do a mood board for this story, tell me if you want one) Eren - Hyunjin, Mikasa - reader, Armin - Jeongin, Levi - Minho, Jean - Changbin, Conny - Felix, Hange - Jisung, Pieck - Seungmin, Erwin - Chan

He glanced ahead, and tears began forming on the edge of his eyes. He fell to his knee, his hand clenching the sand around him as a screeching scream broke out. Tears poured down, creating thousands of dots under him. Despite the strong burning mist swirling around him, he witnessed uncountable bodies being flattened by the titan’s feet and small silhouettes running away from the creatures he’d called out, their cries pierced through Hyunjin’s ear. He covered his ear as his heart pounded louder in his chest, he never wanted this. He just wanted to see the other side of the sea, and what living there would be like. 

What had he done? From the day he was born, special wasn’t something fitting for him. With such power, he’d destroyed everything from the beginning. How could the island believe in him? How could the scouts believe in him? 

Why did the Titans exist in the first place? He wouldn't have suffered in this hell if it weren’t for them. His mother, His father, Uncle Hannes, Captain Chan, Shasha and everyone else wouldn’t have died.

Flames slowly devoured his hand and his grasp on his ear tightened until he felt something slipping through his finger.

“Hyunjin!”

“Y/N?? Jeongin??” His heart called out desperately, praying you would engulf him in your warmth again.

He blinked and his breath subsided to its normal tempo when he realised everything he saw was a figment of his overheated imagination, no it was rather a memory he’d live with now. The trauma stayed with him no matter how hard Jeongin tried to soothe him. It was easier to say than to be done. He exhaled a deep breath dripping with relief. 

He folded his eyes as he shifted his weight over his arm, head facing the vastness of the universe. The night’s air filled his lungs and the sounds of dancing grass around him rang in his ear, bringing a sense of peacefulness to him. Peace – how long had he been searching for this? He sacrificed everything and killed half of the human population for the sake of freedom outside of the walls – for the sake of his friend’s happiness and safety. It doesn’t include that he nearly lost himself in the war, if he did, what would happen to them? To Jeongin? To you?

“Hyunjin! Stop wandering out alone!” Somebody shouted, voice cracking and he heard heavy footsteps swiftly approaching him.

He opened his eyes and rapidly stood up. He was perching on the cliff that led to a camp placing all the survivors from the rumbling a month ago, so his action almost caused him to fall. You arrived in front of him, worry displayed on your countenance. Hyunjin’s heart wrenched in guilt as he took in your creased eyebrows and eyes brimming with crystal tears. It was the same expression he saw when he lied to you and Jeongin for the first time. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I just want to clear my head from the memory.” He beamed a tender smile at you and fixed the loose scarf around your neck properly when the breeze blew over. 

“Taking off alone without telling the scouts isn’t a good idea either. Although there are no Titans, there are still enemies. I can’t bear thinking of living without you and Jeongin.” You clenched the scarf as tears escaped. He stepped forward and hugged you, letting you cry in his chest. His hand caressed your hair and rested his other hand on your waist. 

“I’m sorry for being such an asshole. I’m sorry for making you and Jeongin worry. I’m sorry–” He pulled you closer to his body.

“For everything, Y/N.”

“Hyunjin! Y/N! There you are!” A blonde-haired male jumped onto them, and a few giddy giggles escaped his lips. Hyunjin released his hand from your hair and wrapped it around the male’s shoulder to balance himself. You hastily wiped the tears from your cheeks before the latter noticed.

“You cried?! What happened!? Did Hyunjin say something mean to you again?”Jeongin asked and he narrowed his eyes at Hyunjin, gaze piercing through Hyunjin’s eyes. Hyunjin gulped out of fear while shaking his head vigorously.

“He didn’t. I feel overwhelmed to see him, that’s all. I’m fine, Jeongin!” You released yourself from the hug and snapped your head to the side, hearing the other scouts shouting Hyunjin’s name. 

“Hey, what are you doing, Hyunjin!?” Changbin scowled and carefully climbed his way up to the trio's side. Felix trailed behind him, waving his hand toward them.

“Oh! You guys made it just in time!” Someone exclaimed, causing everyone to recoil. Changbin had his arm up to defend his face while the sudden greeting stiffened other’s shoulders. Only you remained composed and faced the voice’s owner.

“Onyankopon! It’s great to see you” 

Onyankopon raised the tray in his hand that held two cups of what seemed to contain tea, a slight grin on his face. The other stood on their toes to see what the male had brought with him. Changbin rushed to him, hooking his arm on Onyankopon’s neck while dragging him to the tarp site.

“Let’s get high tonight, buddy!” Changbin screamed in delight, receiving a shake from Felix. Felix glanced at Jeongin, cursing Changbin’s behaviour under his breath before pulling Jeongin with him, and running after Changbin.

“Changbin, don’t be an idiot!” Felix groaned. You and Hyunjin exchanged a look. You quickly diverted your attention to the tarp site and parted away, burying your cheeks that began heating up in the scarf. Hyunjin chortled and chased you, swiftly intertwining his hand with yours when he arrived by your side.

“That’s so not you, Y/N. Why are you running away?” Hyunjin teased, attempting to test the water yet you kept your head to the side, giving no chance to Hyunjin to observe your flushed cheeks. After minutes of silence that emitted an answer, he hummed in understanding and swung your hands while approaching Onyankopon’s tarp. The place was brimming with oil lamps from each tarp. The lamps were the sole light source in Marley for the time being, other sources had turned into ashes. 

As you descend further, delightful giggles echo in your ear. You halted and your finger released itself from Hyunjin’s. You spun to the source and saw a familiar scene across from you. Three kids -- 2 boys and a girl, were standing by an imaginary start line. The boy with black hair grinned at his two other friends and ran to the tree opposite them before the blonde-haired boy finished his countdown. That boy seemed so much shorter than them, like Jeongin. The girl fastened her pace, leaving the short boy struggling to keep up with their speed. 

Their clothes blew in the gentle night breeze. As expected, the black-haired boy arrived first with a winning fist high in the air, his chest raising rapidly as he regained his breath. The girl came in second and the last one was the smallest out of them all. They had their hands resting on the tree, exchanging wide smiles. The blonde-haired boy quickly scolded the other boy for not keeping his promise.

And then, they glanced at you. Your breath hitched in your throat as realisation sunk in. They were you, Hyunjin and Jeongin. You felt tears threatening to build again only to stop when a gentle hand grasped your shoulder. You peeked behind you – it was Jeongin.

“What are you watching? Everyone is waiting for you” 

You looked back at the field and there was no one there. Was it your imagination?

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Jeongin shook your shoulder, noticing you were taken aback by what you saw earlier.

“Oh– I’m okay. Let’s go”

You and Jeongin arrived at Onyankopon’s tarp and Changbin had already begun feasting on the meal that Onyankopon had prepared for the scouts. You sat beside Hyunjin and Jeongin settled beside you. He took a glass filled to the brim, chugging the content in one go. He hummed in satisfaction before handing the glass to Felix, asking for more.

You took a slice of cake and put it on Hyunjin’s plate. He tilted his head at you.

“You need a lot of food to recover, Hyunjin. You have to eat and stay alive.”

“Recover from what? I didn’t hurt myself–” You shoved the cake into his mouth before he could fully reply to you. His cheeks were chubby due to the cake yet he tried hard to complete his sentence, causing you to giggle at his vain attempt. Your laugh brought ease to Hyunjin’s heart. Did he deserve to make you happy like you are right now?

The night went on and the tent slowly turned messy after a drunk Changbin challenged Felix to a wrestling battle while Jeongin invited other survivors to join them for their small dinner. Loud laughter and chatter replenished the silent night until past midnight when most of them had passed out from consuming too many foods and drinks as if there were no tomorrow. 

Minho raised his lantern to his chest as his face furrowed in disapproval. The tent was dark, what a hassle to search for them.

“Shit, this is much worse than the previous one.” He scowled and pushed his wheelchair deeper into the tarp and his nose scrunched up at the reeked alcohol and the smell of food wastes mingling in the air. He moved the lantern to his side. All of his scouts were there, scattered in the corner. 

“Damn, these kids never give us a break don’t they, captain?” Someone cooed beside Minho and he whipped his head to his side, eyes widened. Out of his consciousness, his body jolted to his right, making him lose balance but that figure quickly grabbed his arm. 

“What the hell are you doing here, four-eyes freak?”

“Hey, that’s not how you greet your dearest friend, Minho. It shouldn't have been a little nice. Say, didn’t you miss me?” 

“I'd rather burn in hell than say that to you, Jisung.”

Jisung booed him and looked at the kids. His cheeky grin fell into a thin line. “How is he doing? Is he coping everything well?”

Minho trailed his gaze to Jisung’s direction. Hyunjin was sleeping between you and Jeongin, his arms wrapped securely on your and Jeongin’s shoulder. Minho shrugged his shoulder and kicked Changbin’s leg that was under him.

“Enough with the small talk. Help me carry the kids to the ship.”

“Did you miss Jisung that much?” 

Minho raised his head and met with Seungmin. Up until today, Seungmin had a hard time deciphering Minho’s emotions but currently, he could see devastation and confusion written on his face. Minho sighed and massaged his temple. He imagined about Jisung again.

“Am I going insane like Hyunjin did before the rumbling? That moron is getting into my head.”

“It’s not a sin to admit you miss someone. You had to sacrifice many souls to be here today, those souls including your friends. I miss my friends too. My dad said missing someone means you keep them in your heart.” Seungmin uttered softly and flashed a small smile to Minho.

“I’m still pissed off, cart head. You are the only reason I couldn’t kill Zeke in our first encounter”

Seungmin chuckled “Come on, captain! Leave the past behind, I don’t possess the cart-titan ability anymore. Besides, you still manage to kill Zeke.”

Their conversation died down when Onyankopon approached them. He gasped when he registered the view in front of him. 

“I’m sorry!! I think I might give them too much drink” He grinned, rubbing the back of his neck as his face reddened. Seungmin waved his apology off, saying it was fine for them to have fun.

“Let’s get them onto the ship. We are going to Paradis tonight”

“Why not stay here for the night?” Onyankopon asked

“I don’t want to disturb anyone with our presence”

-----

Hyunjin woke up from his deep slumber. He sat while cradling his aching head. His head begged him to go back to sleep but his heart wanted the otherwise. He observed his new surroundings. The room was small with a bunk bed and a low light shone through the window. Oh, he was on a ship?

He carefully climbed down from his bed and noticed you were sleeping under him. He leaned in and the moonlight slipped in, helping him to see your face. He admired how soft your features were when you were sleeping but it was the opposite when you were awake. He tugged the stray hairs behind your ear before kissing your forehead. He exited the room and walked to the ship’s deck, resting his arm against the railing.

Meanwhile, you jolted from your sleep and panicked when Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen. You got out of your bed and rushed outside of the room. A sigh of relief escaped after you saw Hyunjin chilling on the deck. You approached him.

“I thought you were my other figment” You mumbled

“Y/N, I’m alive and standing in front of you. You’re not dreaming”

“I know but it’s difficult to believe it. I sliced your head off and I swear I didn’t feel any breathing coming from you. I held your head in my palm, Hyunjin. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Hyunjin faced you and gently held your arm.

“We live in a life where nothing makes sense”

“But how are you alive now?”

“I guess Ymir had a change of heart because of you. She needs proof that someone like her doesn’t exist. After 2000 years, you appeared. Maybe she doesn’t want someone else to experience what she did thus she brought me back to life. We'll never know her intention, Y/N.”

“Mhmmm, something is missing. Where’s your scarf?”

You just realised your neck felt exposed to the wind. Hyunjin immediately went to the room and returned with the red scarf that once belonged to him. He wrapped the scarf around you and smiled. 

“Thank you for wrapping this scarf around me, Hyunjin,” You said, words lacing with sincerity from the deepest part of your heart while tugging the scarf down to your chin.

“I would wrap it around you as many as you want, now and forever” 

You nodded and reached for his long hair that began covering his eyes, caressing his hair tenderly. “Your hair is getting longer. Can I cut it?”

His eyes glimmered in excitement as he pulled a pair of scissors from his pocket. “I was thinking the same too! That’s why I bring the scissors with me.”

He handed the item and sat on the floor, facing the sea. His feet bounced as a child would when they got their favourite toy. You kneeled behind him and started to cut his hair. 

“I adore you a lot, Y/N. I love you” He muttered. He hid his face into his knee, embarrassed by how he blurred that precious word easily. His face felt hot against his skin when he realised you probably didn’t hear his confession. 

“Raise your head!” 

“Sorry madam!” He returned to his original position, pressing his lips to appear calm despite his reddish face. You grabbed a handful of his hair and ran the sharp edge through his hair.

“Do you remember when you said to throw away this scarf when you die?”

He hummed “That is the best way to forget me”

You set the scissors on the floor and cleaned the remaining hair on his collar.

“You really had the guts to say that. Why would I forget you?”

“I’m a child of evil, I’m a monster. A monster doesn’t deserve apologies moreover to be in someone’s memories. Everyone should forget me.”

“No, you’re a victim…”

Loud footsteps echoed behind you and before you could identify the silhouette, Hyunjin had fallen to the floor with someone clinging to his neck, hugging him tightly.

“I thought I was dreaming!” Jeongin sniffed on Hyunjin’s shoulder. His body trembled as another cry was let out. Hyunjin chuckled and ruffled his hair.

 “You’re not, innie! I’m here with both of you!”

Hyunjin’s gaze softened as he rubbed the tears off with the back of his hand. Jeongin retreated and helped Hyunjin to sit. He sniffed for the last time and erased the stain on his face using his sleeve. 

“I’m glad we could witness the sea together properly” His eyes were shut as he smiled widely at you and Hyunjin. You couldn’t help but follow his action. 

“No matter how far you look, it stretches past the horizon” You can truly admit that the real Hyunjin has returned. The three of you finally reunited again, which couldn’t make you any happier. To live with them in peace; was Hyunjin’s wish for the longest time.

“I love you guys, thank you for not giving up! Oh, Y/N. Did you know that Hyunjin is afraid of you living with another man other than him?” Jeongin grinned and Hyunjin’s face turned even redder at the statement. 

“Innie! Don’t tell her!”

“I have another one!”

“No! Just shut your damn mouth!”

Behind a closed door, someone leaned on the wall, silently listening to the trio’s conversation. 

“Chan, Jisung if you’re listening, Hyunjin will be fine with them. I’m not saying this so you could rest in peace, but I’m sure of it. That idiot wouldn’t pull anything as long as Y/N and Jeongin are safe”

Minho placed a clenched fist on his heart as he saw figments of Jisung and Chan ahead of him.

“Thank you for everything, captain”