I'm Trying To Be Funny - Tumblr Posts

(probably no one ever)

: hey Lloyd! How's your mum?

Lloyd:IDK, lemme ask

Lloyd:hey Zane, how are you?

:

Zane:I'm fine, thank you for asking

Lloyd: he's fine

:i-ok

Steve: I'm a very private person, you need to really know me before I actually open up.

Tony: I'M HORNY AND SUICIDAL

Daily Struggle #1

Me: (doing anything serious)

My Brain: OH MY GODDDDD

Me: what?

My Brain: EEHHHAHAHAHAHAHA

I have the illuminati unholy trilogy of all three kinds of hallucinations.

On an unrelated note there's a man in the corner of my room

Is this that "gender binary" I've been hearing so much about?

Edward: I can't forget about her. Bella. What a beautiful, lovely girl. I can feel it, the deep love in my heart for her. My heart's belongs to her now! She's like an obsession to me, she's making me crazy!

Rosalie: Leave her out of this! It's not Bella's fault! You were already a lunatic before you met her.

Carlisle : Stefan! Vladimir! It's nice to see you two.

Stefan : You poor thing. What kind of life do you have...

Vladimir :...if seeing us brings you joy?

Aro before Sulpicia: Brother? Do you think there will be someone who will tolerate my mood swings?

Marcus: Tolerate? I'm going to say a toast for that person if they are still alive. It is more than enough if they survive your mood swings, don't be greedy.

I didn't fight myself to the top of the food chain for to be a vegetarian.

- Caius of the Volturi, after Carlisle invited him to go hunt with him for the first and last time.

Emmett : I love arguing with you.

Edward : Why?

Emmett : Because you remind me of a wild turkey. Even your voice sounds like one.

Edward : I think I fell in love.

Rosalie : Poor fool... what did that person do to deserve such cruel punishment?

Vladimir : Are we really that unbearable together?

Stefan : Yes, we are. But if it comfrots you, we're also unbearable when we're separated.

"The sooner you die, the longer you stay dead."

- Marcus of the Volturi, at some point in his life.

Stefan : Hey? Our relationship isn't a relationship of interest, is it?

Vladimir : Tell me how much we have benefited so far from knowing each other?

Stefan : True

She comes

S h e ‘ s H e r e

Them: You don't look queer.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Let me just get changed..

Art dump of my personification of me irl. I'm proud of some of these more than others, mostly because some of them are more well done/funnier than the others that were actually put into a meme format.

"You draw on schoolwork because you're bored. I draw on schoolwork to distract teachers from how stupid I am. We are not the same."

Ironically, this was originally drawn on my math work.

"What?"

Got hit by a car last Tuesday. That should give this some context, as well as this:

"I lived, bitch."

"Excuse me, what the fuck?"

Inspired by that one "Fallout" meme.