In Between Names - Tumblr Posts

It’s very simple, you wake up and you are entirely free because god died before he could give you any purpose and so there is no string pulling you in any one direction. The stars unfurl in front and behind and above and below (as much as there is an in front and behind, or, for that matter, an above and below, when you do not know where you might be headed) and they’re singing some silly song between them but just as you try to make out the tune a stranger asks you who you might be. You tell them you don’t know, on account of you were born today - or maybe yesterday just around midnight, maybe you were alive for about a minute before yesterday tipped over into now and anyway time is relative and you haven’t been around for long and god died before he could give you any instructions so you don’t really have the hang of anything yet. They ask you if you have a name of any kind and when you say you don’t they ask if you’d want one. You say you haven’t really figured out what wanting feels like yet but you’d give a name a try, just to see how one would fit. They offer you some but they’re all just words - pretty words, Azrael and Uziel and Abaddon, but none of those sound like something that would have a you attached to it, whoever you might end up being. The stranger asks if you are an angel or something else (it might help with the naming, they say, to figure out at least what you are if not who) and you say you don’t know on account god dying right after making you, and you don’t see how this would matter much seeing how whatever you are you are not driven to any grand purpose, not part of a great plan any more than the stars or the dust between them or anything else there might be, you’d just like to listen to the stars sing, wander and look for questions to look for answers to - like what else there might be besides stars and dust - and maybe talk to the stranger if they wouldn’t mind. It occurs to you to ask the stranger if they have a name and they say they’re between names, between many things really. That they had a name but then everyone who knew them by it died so the name seemed obsolete and then there was a name they were given over and over so that it seemed easier to take than refuse even though it didn't really fit and then when they did choose a name they weren't at their best and it's intertwined with too many ghosts to wear it for too long. They are thinking of Sun not because it's how they feel but because how they want to feel, what they want to be like - a name doesn't have to be a statement of fact, it can also be a memory, or a hope. So you can call them Sun but they do like stranger, and they aren't sure they're a they either but stranger is too long to say every time and nothing else fits better and they is appropriately in between of certainties and just outside of knowing. Your first worry reaches you and you ask if god dying right after making you is cause and effect or correlation rather than causation and the stranger says they don't know but either way you cannot bear the blame for other people’s choices, the actions of those that came before you shape the world and yourself but do not decide your fate, let alone your guilt. You say okay, okay. You ask the stranger where they're going and they say wherever they feel like going, and at the moment that's about here. You ask them if they could listen to the stars with you for a bit and they smile and say why not and you're not sure what a sun is but if the stranger is one of those you would really like to see them.