Incorrect Dc Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Kid!Dick, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Kid!Barbara,in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Bruce: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Kid!Barbara: playing systemic oppression
Diana: Why are you on the floor?
Bruce: I'm depressed.
Bruce: Also I was stabbed, can you get Clark, please.
Bruce: You're right.
Clark: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Diana: Gods, give me patience.
Cassie standing in front of an explosion : I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Diana: If Gods gave me strength, you'd be dead.
Wally: How would you like your coffee?
Dick: As dark and as bitter as my soul.
Wally, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!
Bruce: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!
Stephanie: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!
Bruce: ….
Bruce: What?
Stephanie: I need to feed my Neopets!
Jon: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Damian: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
Jon: You don’t have to wear…
Damian: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.
Dick: I can't believe you've done this.....
Wally: I'm sorry I didn't know-!
Dick, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!
Dick: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
Wally: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
Dick: Holy moly-
Jason : *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Bruce: Mind your language!
Jason : What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Bruce*bruce looking unimpressed but speechless*: …….
Stephanie : You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Dick: Time for plan G.
Stephanie : Don’t you mean plan B?
Dick: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Tim: What about plan D?
Dick: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Cass : What about plan E?
Dick: I’m hoping not to use it. Jason dies again in plan E.
Damian : I like plan E.
Bruce as Batman trying to be a good dad : *shatters a window and climbs through it*
Bruce *turns around and helps Dick through it*: Breaking and entering is wrong robin.
youngDick absolutely going to do this later: ok
Bruce: I'll offer you some friendly advice-
Jason: I don't want your advice.
Bruce: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.
Barbara: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
Dick: Babs what kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Barbara , already taking off their clothes: God, Dick, you’re so fucking stupid.
Bruce: How was your day, Damian?
Damian: Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school.
Bruce: Oh? And what does that mean?
Damian: It means I can't bully anyone for a whole week.
Duke: You shouldn't be using a straw.
Stephanie: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.
Duke: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.
Bruce: Are you listening to me?
Robin Dick Grayson: *nods*
Bruce: What did I just say?
Robin dick Grayson: *nods*
Bruce: ...
Duke: *starts to leave patrol at sundown*
*an explosion is heard from nearby area*
Gotham Citizen: What was that?
Duke: The sound of someone else's problem.
Dick: Hey Dami, made anyone cry today?
Damian: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.
Bruce: What happened?!
Stephanie: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Bruce: Sh-short??
Stephanie: Shit's fucked.
Bruce: Okay, long.
Stephanie: Shit's very fucked.