Incorrect Shadowhunters Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Jem: You said she’s British? Brits are the best! There was this one time…
Emma: No, I said she’s a bitch, but go on…
Lucie: I'm going to be so wild tonight :)
Matthew: oh yeah?
Lucie: yeah I'm going to drink Pepsi at 1am instead of 12pm.
Matthew: I thought you meant in another way and now I don't know how to respond.
Alec: I hate touching people.
Alec: The only physical contact I take joy in is combat and training.
Izzy: You and Magnus are literally holding hands right now.
Alec: That’s something completely different.
Sebastian: Clary?
*knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock*
Do you wanna burn the world down? Come on, let’s go and slay. I won’t try to kill you anymore, so come out the door, it’s like you’ve gone away. We used to be Team Evil and now we’re not. I wish you would tell me why. Do you wanna burn the world down? We can start with a small town.
Clary: Go away, Sebastian.
Sebastian: Okay, die.
Me watching the show before reading the books: Talented, Brilliant, Incredible, Amazing, Showstopping, Spectacular, Never The Same, Totally Unique, Completely Not Ever Been Done Before.
Me watching the show after reading the books: What the fuck is this shit?! What the fuck?!
Simon: Does he looks like a killer to you?
Jace: EVERYONE looks like a killer to me. It’s a job requirement.
Simon: *narrows eyes* Do I look like a killer to you?
Jace: Yes, you kill my patience
Valentine: I’ve made a warrior
Simon: [gesturing to Jace] You’ve ruined a perfectly good kid, is what you’ve done. Look at it. Its got anxiety.
Alec: *smiles*
Magnus: Aw, that’s my baby.
Alec: *kills several circle members because they hurt his family*
Magnus: Aw, that’s my homicidal baby.
Clary: Stop calling me Clarissa
Sebastian: Why would I do that? I quite like the name Claris-
Clary: Valentine called me Clarissa
Sebastian: I can get used to Clary.
Simon: What if people had food names and food had people names?
Izzy, to Jace: Hey Spaghetti, time for dinner.
Jace: What are we having?
Izzy: Clary
Maia: Why am I friends with you guys?
Jace: Shut up, Potato.
Alec: Bartender! Gimme a shot... of milk
Maia: Whoa buddy, are you sure you can handle that?
If Clary and Jace don’t get to spend their summers at the Herondale Manor in Idris like they deserve with their army of kids after TWP than I don’t want it.
So I’m through the whole TMI, what exactly did The Clave DO? I mean it was TMI gang who saved the fucking world twice, they just sat there in the accords hall and had stupid meeting that didn’t even make good decisions. And after those decisions WEREN’T EVEN GOOD!! And after the Mortal War the TMI gang still didn’t get the special treatment they deserved, like prioritizing finding Jace. Like how is finding a fucking killer who’s out to burn the world down and over throw your government not IMPORTANT!! The Clave really makes no sense in prioritizing.
No one:
Absolutely no one:
Show Maia and Show Jace: *makes out in the ally*
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
Seelie Court
Queen: The kiss the that will set the girl free is the kiss that she most desires.
Jace: H
Clary: O
Alec: L
Simon: Y
Izzy: S
Me: H
Fandom: I
World: T
Valentine: Clary, can you call your brother?
Clary: Sure, which one?
Valentine: The blonde one.
Clary: WHICH blonde one?
Valentine: Jonathan
Clary: ...
Valentine: For heaven’s sake, the one that’s in love with you
Clary: That really narrows it down, thanks Dad.
TMI/Twilight
Edward: I’m a Vampire
Simon: Me too
Edward: I get the girl
Simon: I get two
Edward: We have werewolves
Simon: Us too. What about Faeries?
Warlocks?
Edward: ...
Simon: Shadowhunters?
Edward: Well I sparkle in the sun!
Magnus: SPARKLE? DID SOMEONE SAY SPARKLE?
*Sizzy have babies be like*
Isabelle: Kids, Daddy has to help aunt Clary with some demons tonight, so he’s not coming to dinner.
Kids: Oka-OH WAIT *looks at Izzy* Are up...?
Isabelle: Yes, I am cooking dinner *angelical smile*
Kids: NOOOOO *runs away. Hides themselves under the bed. Calls Malec*
Alec: Okay, okay don’t panic. Keep her away from the kitchen. We’ll be there in ten minutes. I repeat, keep her away from the kitchen. Don’t pani-MAGNUS WE HAVE TO GO NOW. CODE RED, CODE RED.
alec: magnus, i would do anything for you. if you wanted the moon and all the stars in the sky, i would hand them to you on a silver platter
magnus: i want you to eat three meals a day and sleep at least seven hours
alec:
alec: no
james: can i have you?
cordelia: you already do.