Incorrect Wednesday Addams - Tumblr Posts
Morticia: Apparently when someone asks you who your favourite child is you’re supposed to choose out of only your own children. I know that now.
Wednesday: That’s very well mother but Enid has been crying for the past *checks watch* forty three and a half minutes.
Enid: *sobbing into Morticia’s dress* I just feel so appreciated.
Enid: I have something important to tell you.
Wednesday: Oh man, did you kill the janitor in a werewolf rage?
Enid: What? No.
Wednesday: Did you buy an instrument and found out after one day, it isn’t for you, but for the sake of your reputation kept going?
Enid: That’s really random. No, I-
Wednesday: Did you go fishing and got the hook stuck in your neck.
Enid: No, this is about you and me.
Wednesday: Oh my god, are the nazis back?
Enid: How is that about us?
Wednesday: The nazis being back can be so personal.
Enid: Could you just stop talking for a moment? I wanted to tell you that I’m in love with you.
Wednesday: Oh. Well, I never would have guessed THAT.
Enid: Nobody asked you to guess, Wednesday!
Enid leaning over Wednesday's desk: So I was thinking ...
Wednesday, still writing homework: You do that often. And say it out loud as well.
Enid: Ahem! Anyway, we need a date night that does not involve murder or crime.
Wednesday: I enjoy both of those things. But will admit they can get tedious when repeated
Enid: So if I bought us tickets to the opera, you'd be down?
Wednesday: Yes. It isn't K-pop or a wretched mainstream film. I'll accompany you, Mi Loba
Enid squeals, wrapping her Raven in practically a choke hold of a hug
Wednesday, tiny voice: If I live through this
Twenty four hours later, the Raven and the Wolf run out of the burning opera house among a panicked crowd
Wednesday: You can't blame me for this!
Enid: I know, I know. Just what are the odds the ghost of a 19th century composer decides to seek revenge on date night?
Wednesday: Yes, we are quite lucky
Enid:
Wednesday: I mean damn, we are so cursed. Tragically.
Xavier and Ajax are playing video games when Goody appears behind the TV.
Ajax: Holy shit dude!
Xavier: Damn Wednesday you can't just pop out of walls at us
Goody: I am Goody Addams, dead yet lingering. Wednesday is my descendant.
Ajax: Bro, its a ghost!
Xavier: Okay, so why are you haunting us instead of Wednesday?
Goody: I interrupted what Enid called their 'makeout sesh'. She bid me 'go haunt Creepytown or Loserville so we have privacy'
Xavier:
Goody: Wednesday said both locations were in this room and gave me directions.
Enid sighs loudly while doom scrolling on her phone
Goody Addams: I see how you mourn the absence of my kinswoman
Enid spits out her juice: Aaaugh who the fudge are you??
Goody: I am the ancestor of your roommate
Enid: woah. So you are the Ghost of Wednesdays Past?
Goody:
Goody: you spake the King’s English but I do not ken your words
Enid: Okies. How about we watch some movies so you pick up on modern terms?
Goody: what is a movie?
Ten hours later Wednesday encounters Enid passed out on her bed with Goody intensely staring at a laptop
Wednesday: Goody! What have you done to Enid?
Goody frowns over the head of a snoring Enid: Quiet, young Raven. You'll awaken your lady love.
Wednesday: You cannot just occupy my side of the bed!
Goody: I said hush. I shall leave soon. Heathers is not done and I relish the mayhem of J.D.
Wednesday: never an exorcist when you need one
Yoko, Wednesday and Enid sit under a tree in the Quad.
Yoko: I hate my brain sometimes
Wednesday: Well I hate it all the-
Enid: Babe hush. Now Yoko, why are you upset?
Yoko: I keep having sexy thoughts about girls that aren't Divina.
Enid: When that happens to me, I repeat 'Begone, THOT Thought' until it passes.
Yoko:
Wednesday:
Enid: Hey, don't knock it til you tried it.
Wednesday: ... you think about other girls?
Divina and Enid hide in some bushes ten feet away from their girlfriends
Divina: Why are we spying on the Goths?
Enid: I wanted you to witness my villain era
Divina: Bestie I'm concerned
Enid: Wens and Yoke been pranking me all week as some 'make Enid piss herself' contest.
Divina: That explains the rubber rat Yoko put in her purse. Good luck charm my ass
Enid: YEAH, so Thing and Wednesday's infinity great aunt is gonna help me get back at them
Divina: Her what now?
Enid points: Ooo I see Thing is ready
Enid stands up with her phone out: Showtime!
Yoko puts down her blood bag: Hey E, ya gotta do better than that to scare us
Wednesday: Yes Mi Loba. Even Pugsley-
Goody pops out of Wednesday's chest: I'LL LIVE INSIDE YOU FOREVER!
Yoko falls on her butt: WTF???
Wednesday: This is mildly amusing.
Goody drifts past the vampire : WITH SATAN HIMSELF BY MY SIDE!
Thing falls down from a tree wearing a little pair of horns.
Wednesday: That is a nice touch but you-
Glitter falls from the tree all over both of the Goth girls
Wednesday looks at her sparkling hands, left eye twitching
Divina wheezes from laughing
Enid: YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D BEACHES
Goody whispers to Thing: Their courting rituals be strange
Divina is playing chess with Wednesday out in the Quad
Yoko runs over and dives under the table
Divina: What did you do now?
Enid, stomping over: She broke my statue of Lisa from BlackPink!
Yoko: It was an accident!
Enid: You're going to be in an accident when I get my hands on you
Divina: E, please don't murder my girlfriend. All the other pretty ones are straight.
Wednesday, casually moving her bishop: That is objectively incorrect.
Enid: Willa, I am mad at her, but don't call Yo Yo ug
Wednesday: No, I was referring to no other pretty women 'on our team' as you fondly say. Teagan in our history class is attractive.
Divina: You're right! And that new girl in my calculus class, Monique, is for sure gay.
Enid: OH oh, and the transfer student from Sweden, Dorothea had a pride pin on her bag.
Wednesday: See? Tanaka is quite replaceable.
Yoko: You guys know I'm still here, right?
Other girls in unison: Yes
Yoko: Just checking
Wednesday and Enid are walking Uncle Fester to his car.
Enid: It was great spending time with you!
Wednesday: Yes. Unlike mother and father, your company is only mildly nauseating.
Fester slides behind the wheel: Same kiddos, same. Now I have one last thing to say before we get mushy.
Wednesday: Oh?
Fester: Remember kids, don't do drugs
Enid: We would never-
Fester: Without me! Heheheehee
Fester zooms off down the road.
Wednesday: The audacity of that man
Enid: I know but it is very on brand for your uncle
Wednesday pulls out her phone: What is Ajax's number?
Enid: Wednesday, NO
Enid “oh my god, i’m not even going to ask” Sinclair
and her girlfriend
Wednesday “good, because you’ll need plausible deniability for this one” Addams
Yoko, arguing with Wednesday: says the goth!
Wednesday: goth is a music-based subculture, music that i don’t listen to and culture i don’t partake in
Wednesday: Enid does
Divina: what?
Wednesday: Enid listens to goth music
Divina: that’s… why?
Enid: i assumed it was what Wednesday listened to and i wanted to get to know her better through the things she enjoys
Wednesday: something you assumed i enjoy
Enid: yeah, but i actually really like it, the songs are super romantic even when they’re not trying to be
Yoko: … so, you’re saying that shes goth?
Wednesday: more so than i am
Enid: 🎶 all i ever wanted, all i ever needed 🎶
Wednesday: whatever you want
Enid: anything?
Wednesday: anything you want, cara mia, ask and it will be yours
Enid: be nice to our friends?
Wednesday: oh sweet lucifer-
Enid: you said anything!
Wednesday: you are a vile creature!!
Enid: hey Wednesday, how did… what are you doing?
Wednesday: stabbing
Yoko: piercing
Enid: what
Yoko: remember when Wednesday threatened that she had a spell that could make outcast skin penetrable like an ordinary persons?
Enid, laughing: you’re using it to let Wednesday pierce your ears?
Wednesday: it’s for science
Enid: sure it is, love. can i go next?
Wednesday, with a hint of excitement: yes.
Enid: pink or blue?
Morticia: Enid, Wednesday, what are you girls doing?
Enid: hello Mrs. Addams! we’re giving Ichabod a makeover!
Morticia: a makeover? darling Ichabod is a tree
Enid: I know! he needed some TLC
Morticia:..
Wednesday: it is an acronym for ‘tender loving care’, disgusting by the way, just say tending
Enid: look. Ichabod, would you rather the pink scarf or the blue one? one shake for pink and two shakes for blue
the tree shakes once, wednesday who is sitting in his branches reading a book isn’t phased
Morticia: ..
Morticia: very well, dinner is ready so finish up here
Enid: oh! thank you!
Enid, having a conversation: she’s allergic to roses
Wednesday, was barely paying attention: querida, haven’t we talked about telling our enemies our weaknesses? not to do it?
Bianca: enemies?
Enid: what weakness? if she even thinks about it i’ll shred her to pieces
Wednesday: very well
Wianca: what.
Yoko: you get used to it
Yoko runs out of the room crying hysterically
Divina: She didn’t mean that!
Bianca: Damn it, Wednesday.
Enid entering the room: You made Yoko cry on her birthday?! What did you say?
Wednesday: What’s wrong with saying “you’re one year closer to death” huh?
Yoko: We gotta be careful here, this place might have booby traps.
Wednesday and Enid silently laugh.
Bianca: Hilarious. Real mature, you two.
Wednesday: *snickers* Traps.
Enid: *giggles* Boobies.
Enid: if me and Tyler were drowning who would you save?
Wednesday: you idiots can't swim?
Enid: it's hypothetical! Who would you save?
Wednesday: my time and effort