Inechoingsilence {acelin Voclain} - Tumblr Posts
"Christmas... Mum and I always fly home for Christmas." Marius could remember the year his ex was supposed to go with them. He had so hoped he would, but in the end he came back to the city to spend the holiday with his own parents. One year, maybe they could have. But, Marius just didn't think it would happen. And of course, now it never would.
Marius shrugged, flashing a smile to Acelin before lifting his glass to take a sip, "But, that's life, innit? Win some, lose some. Along with some sappy cliché about love that probably isn't true."
@inechoingsilence || xxx
Marius smiled to his companion, swirling his drink in his glass slowly, "For me that would be Nottingham in the UK. That's where I was raised. My father and all his family are still there. A lovely town, just a bit dull at times," he shrugged, figuring that was just because he spent his life there. It was certainly nothing compared to cities in the US. "For mum it's Kavala, an absolutely beautiful city in northern Greece. She likes to threaten every year she goes back that she might not return, but, I know she just misses it. I wouldn't blame her, honestly."
Thinking about romance was starting to stir those feelings that Marius tended to push away. So afraid of messing everything up, he just chooses not to let anyone get that close. But, it was really weighing on him. Did he want to really settle down? Or was he just feeling that regret again over the one he chased away?
He sat up, leaning on the table as he looked over Acelin's expression. He was quiet for a moment, really contemplating his words before he spoke, "I used to think I was a romantic," Marius hummed, shifting his cheek into his hand, "But, honestly I - dunno. I feel like... I don't know what I want. ...To be happy? That's quite the cliché. I just don't know how to get that, I suppose," he scoffed, leaning back again, "...I don't think I deserve it honestly."
@inechoingsilence || xxx
Marius couldn't help the little smile, even humming a little laugh, "Y'know, that's sweet of you, Ace. I try to be - I want the best for whoever my partner is, after all. ...At least that's what I tell myself."
He exhaled a sigh, setting his glass down carefully, "I've not always been the best and I've certainly broke my share of hearts. 'spose I just... Don't really know what I want, you know?" He raised his eyes to meet Acelin's, "Everyone wants to be happy, yeah? It's not like anyone aspires to be miserable. But it's the how I always get stuck on. How does one actually achieve happiness? Can I really be trusted again after what I've done?"
@inechoingsilence || xxx
"One day at a time..." Marius hummed as he repeated the words back to him, staring ahead as he considered these words. Maybe he was right. Maybe all Marius needed to do was move on and stop letting what he did hold him back, even if it did still ache. Or... maybe Acelin was just being nice and telling Marius what he needed to hear. That's what friends do, right? Good ones, anyway.
"Maybe. Maybe not," he lifted one shoulder in a tiny shrug, "It just feels like that's not for me to decide. And that's fine, I wouldn't any more." Except maybe a phone call... Just one phone call.
"You know what? It doesn't even matter," Marius looked up again to Acelin beside him, flashing a wide smile again, "Thank you, Ace, truly. But, this is just something I have to live with. Doesn't matter anyway, I don't think anyone would want to settle for the likes of me for more than a few rounds anyway," he chuckled to his own self deprecation, lifting his glass to drink down the remainder of what he had.
@inechoingsilence || xxx
Marius had to pause. His companions words were not lost on him, but it was fairly unexpected. Shifting in his chair, he turned to face Acelin fully, looking over his expression for any sort of jest or joke.
"You would, would you?" Marius mused, a smirk pulling at one side of his mouth, "Even as I sit here and tell you I would most likely break your heart? You would throw your hat in willingly?" Pushing just a little, he was curious just how much more he could pull from him.
@inechoingsilence || xxx
His smirk fading back into a serious expression to match Acelin's, Marius just raised his chin a bit. He leaned back in his chair, just exhaling a breath. There was no denying that answer... Which meant plenty to figure out. He grabbed his glass and held it up for Acelin to take, giving a nod, "Maybe something a bit stronger this time, yeah?"
He ran his hand through his hair once he gave the glass over, just scratching his head trying to figure out how this happened, how they got to this point. There was no denying Acelin was a good looking guy, and they got along well too. It just threw Marius off guard to hear he had feelings for him, more than just a friend. The questions all bubbled up, but he needed to sort them out and figure out where to begin.
@inechoingsilence || xxx
Marius took his glass back with a smile and a nod, bringing it to his lips to take a sip. It was a lot to consider and a lot to take in, but he was starting to think it didn't matter. Sure, he could ask a million questions and try to figure out just what Acelin was thinking. Or he could do like he always does and just jump right in.
Giving a nod, he finally turned his eyes back up to Acelin and just smiled, setting his glass down, "Alright. So, how about a proper date then? Something nice to really get a feel for this," he leaned forward towards him, "I'm open minded, so why give it a shot, yeah?"
@inechoingsilence || xxx
"Sounds perfect to me," Marius hummed thoughtfully, mulling over the arrangement. It would certainly take an adjustment, but maybe he would find it wouldn't be too much of a stress. After all, he's dated his best friend before... This certainly could go better than that.
He lingered there close for a moment, just looking over Acelin's face and expression before leaning back again, relaxing back in his seat. Testing the waters, getting a feel for how being close to him felt. He hummed a little laugh, reaching for his drink again to take a sip.
"French, huh? Don't think I've had French in some time," he smiled, shrugging a shoulder, "Here's hoping its a good find. Plus, I can wear that new shirt I bought. I've been waiting for an opportunity."
@inechoingsilence || xxx
"Do you think so?" Marius gave a little smirk. It wasn't the one he had been thinking of, but that was a little test to see what Acelin might say. But, he liked the purplish-gray one? Marius would definitely remember that. He took another sip of his drink and gave a little acknowledging hum, "Well, I suppose we have a good reference then. But I'll be the judge of whether its good or not." A tease, as he gave a wink. He was a chef, sure, but Marius wasn't some high tier chef who could tell the difference in dishes by the slightest quality. He just liked to cook.
Marius stared down into the liquid of his glass for a moment, swirling it a bit before setting it down lightly, "I do want to ask you, Ace," he folded his hands together before looking up to him again, "How long have you felt this way? Surely it hasn't been always, right? ...think I'd feel a bit bad if it was and I never noticed," he smiled, giving a slight laugh.
@inechoingsilence || xxx
Maybe it wasn't long, but a year was still a longer period of time than Marius might have expected. Or maybe thats just not what he wanted to hear. Maybe it was just that he was far more forward than that, but he couldn't imagine having those feelings and not saying anything. Some little voice in his mind told him Acelin just didn't trust him like that... But he didn't really believe it. Ace was just more reserved than that. It was cute.
"That long, huh?" Marius just kept his smile, though his eyebrow knitting together did give away that he was thinking more about it, "Suppose it must not have been easy to watch me just sleep around. Not that I mean... Well... I don't want to bring up any sour thoughts, I guess. I wasn't ever really looking for anything permanent anyway."
It was hard to think that he could really settle down, fully move on with someone else. But... The longer time went on, the more he was sure things were truly over. Maybe it was time to get on with it, really get over it.
@inechoingsilence || xxx