Ineffable Bureaucracy - Tumblr Posts
Gabriel, Ineffable Bureaucracy, and the Memory Theory
If we think that Metatron has the Book of Life and is editing it, see the theory here, then maybe the catalyst for Metatron's plan came about because of Gabriel's defection.
Look, Metaron obviously wants the Second Coming to happen, but then Gabriel as supreme Archangel says "nope, not doing that" it causes a huge problem, because he is the head of the heavenly host and almost all angels would listen to him. So Metatron convinces Micheal, Uriel, and Saraqael to put Gabriel on trial, and erase his memories, so Metatron can get everything back on track, but Gabriel makes a run for it, throwing Metatron's plan off again.
(Also, notice how there was no Sandalphon this season, I think Metatron has eliminated him from the Book of Life, because he was essentially Gabriel's right hand man.)
So, Metatron tells Micheal and company that they have to find Gabriel, while he starts putting things into motion behind the scenes. You see in Metaron's mind there is probably only three resolutions to the Gabriel problem, Heaven finds him and erases his memories, Hell captures him and he stays down there, or Gabriel escapes somewhere else.
At first I thought that Gabriel's memories with Beelzebub were fake ones implanted by Metatron, but now I don't think that is the case. I think Gabriel's memories were safely tucked away in the fly before Metaron started editing.
Now, Metaron probably knew after reading the book of life that Gabriel, if he wasn't captured by Heaven, would some how probably end up with Beelzebub, either by them being in Hell together or in some other fashion. So, he needs to find a replacement for Supreme Archangel that he can manipulate and control, and it can't be Michael or Uriel. Both Micheal and Uriel may not be the smartest tools in the shed, but they're not stupid. Uriel has always seemed assertive and a real solider of Heaven, and we see her argue with other angels, Michael for example, so not the easiest to control. Michael does question things a few times throughout the second season, about Job's children not being babies, about how strange it is that Aziraphale has an assistant, plus she feels like she knows Gabriel when they meet, even though she shouldn't be able to because of the miracle. Michael is willing to question things and might be stronger than she seems, so again possibly not the easiest to control.
All this leads up to Metaron picking Aziraphale to be his puppet leader. Metatron like the other angels probably doesn't think much of Aziraphale. He thinks he is soft, weak, and adverse to conflict. Therefore prefect for what Metatron needs. Also, Aziraphale was part of the reason that the first Apocalypse didn't happen, so Metatron needs to be able to monitor and control Azirphale's actions this time around. There is only one problem, Crowley. Crowley has too strong an effect on Aziraphale, so Metatron has to start making cracks in their foundation to break them apart, thus the memory manipulation.
Lastly, I don't know if Gabriel and Beelzebub deciding to go off together was their ultimate decision or not. It might have made more sense for them to rule Hell together. However, this conclusion is prefect for Metatron, it gets two major opponents off the board. Plus, it shows Crowley that it is possible for a demon and an angel to be in a romantic relationship, and run away together, pushing Crowley closer towards where Metatron wanted him. And I think it is safe to say that Metatron knew Crowley would never agree to come back to Heaven and be an angel again. Therefore, Metatron gets what he wants, Aziraphale under his control in Heaven.
And that how Gabriel almost got stab with a blade made out of Hellfire
Beelzebub, to Gabriel: I hate you with every inch of my being
Gabriel: that's not a lot of inches
Why I got the feeling that if Gabriel moved just a little bit, and accidentally woke up Beelzebub and they going to kill him?
Beelzebub: *asleep with his head on Gabriel’s shoulder*
Gabriel: *staying still so he doesn’t wake Beelz up and has his arm wrapped around him*
Azi, to Gabriel: Oh, how sweet. I remember when Crowley first fell asleep on me.
Crowley, to Gabriel: And I remember when you poked fun at us for doing that.
Gabriel, to Crowley: You are so lucky that I have to stay still right now.
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After a vacation in Alpha Centauri, Gabriel and Beelzebub come back to earth and move in together. They proceed to be the worst and most baffling neighbors anyone in the neighborhood has ever experienced.
They introduced themselves as Bee and Jim, but immediately started laughing about it, so people are pretty sure those aren't their real names.
Neither of them seem to have jobs, but they must be rich, because their house is massive and they're always wearing fancy clothes, and their wallets are bursting with money. Maybe they’re in the mafia?
Speaking of fancy clothes, “Jim” is always wearing designer suits. There is an ongoing game where people attempt to take a picture of him in any other clothes. One time, an enterprising teenager went so far as to sneak over in the middle of the night to look into his bedroom (hoping he’d be in pajamas), and saw him still in a suit, Standing on Top of the Bed, eyes wide open and Smiling Brightly. (Gabriel has not gotten the hang of sleeping yet.) (The teenager refuses to go near the house ever again.)
The short one, “Bee,” is consistently trailed by flies. This is alarming to everyone. They say that they're a “fly-keeper,” but people are pretty sure that's not a thing. Do they carry rotting meat around or something?
Bee also seems to be constantly changing appearances. One day they have a buzz cut, the next day their hair goes to their mid-back. Their eyes are a different colour every time you see them. People have set up cameras to take pictures of them on different days, and upon comparing them they are Definitely almost 6 inches taller this week. Even their facial features shift.
It gets to the point where people decide Jim must just have multiple partners, and be lying about it. (“Multiple partners that all look similar and are never seen together?” the opposition will point out. When asked if they have a better theory, they can never answer.)
The two of them will have romantic moments Anywhere, including standing in the middle of the highway staring into each others eyes. By all rights they should have been run over, but in a bizarre coincidence every car in the area ran out of fuel and stopped moving at that exact moment. People want to blame Jim for it (he did make a strange hand movement, after all), but that would just be absurd.
They use the absolute worst pet names for each other. A list of overheard ones is being recorded. “My rotten cabbage?” “My hell-bringer?” “Dearest packet of crisps??”
You cannot let them notice that you're disgusted by their lovey-doveyness. They will either get exponentially more cringey, or straight up insult you until you run away crying. Or both.
“Everyday” by Buddy Holly will be audible to the whole block at all times. Do they know other songs exist? Don't they get bored of this one?? Why is it so loud???
There’s a statue of Jim in the front yard. Its 20 feet tall and definitely a HOA violation, but people are too scared to mention it. Both Bee and Jim will come out at different times and spend hours staring at it dreamily.
People would hate them, but ever since they moved in the weather has been perfect, crime is at an all time low, and there’s little trucks that go around selling hot chocolate, and those things Probably cant be because of them, but still...
Plus, Jim doesn’t understand how money works at all, so he’ll give you $300 for a bag of chips. It's endearing, even if he is sometimes a jerk.
Bee does seem to know how money works, but they’ll frequently pay even more than Jim, especially if the person seems overworked and the place is under-staffed. They say they have experience with it.
After a month of them living there, most of the neighborhood is in a group chat created to discuss the two of them. Beelzebub is secretly in the chat, and reads their favourite theories to Gabriel.
A rumour starts going around that they're an angel and a demon in disguise, but no one can agree which one is which.
Beelzebub is the one who started the rumour.
Good Omens Season 2 Spoilers!
Beezlebub: So there's this angel I really like...
Crowley: I wouldn't get your hopes up. I've spent 6000 years pining after mine.
Beezlebub: And we're gonna run away together because we've decided we're all we need. Screw Heaven and Hell, right?
Crowley *through gritted teeth and putting a wine bottle in a chokehold*: That's so great! I'm so happy for you
placing my bets rn. the ineffable bureaucreacy playlist will spell "Everyday"
https://archiveofourown.org/series/2563174
HEY! THIS IS A SERIES I'VE BEEN WORKING ON OF ONE SHOTS/STORIES FOR THE SHIP GABRIEL/BEELZEBUB!
Please send me requests! I need them to live ;)
Love you all
Please check out my story!
I took the images from Good Omens 2 on Prime and added the logo. Then I added the characters to the drink image to make a background for my laptop. (the logo on the bottom has a transparent background if anyone wanted to use it.)
As a shipper of both, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
ineffable husbands shippers @ ineffable bureaucracy rn:
(this is a joke, i'm happy for y'all, but damn.)
No, guys, but what if Jim is just like….Gabriel in Angel Factory Setting Mode with some Beelz memory still there…..like what if you amnesiac Crowley would he be like the star maker version?
……Imagining baby Gabriel—like extremely new just created to start planning the Universe Gabriel as being kind of like Jim…and then over time….
I've got Good Omens brain worms and can we talk about how Crowley and Aziraphale doing a miracle together had the power of an archangel? Because it's everything to me.
They are more powerful together than they are apart. And I think that doesn't just go for Crowley and Aziraphale, but both Heaven and Hell as well. It's not in spite of their differences (even as surface level as they may be) that they are stronger together, it's because of them. They need each other.
God, imagine the world that could be if they could both just realize that they don't need heaven or hell. The distinction is so arbitrary. All they need is to be themselves together.
My new OTP I regret nothing thank u
just Beelzebub watching their boyfriend doing something stupid again
ineffable bureaucracy playlist on spotify but it's only everyday by buddy holly for six hours
Ineffable bureaucracy is giving Mavis and Johnny from Hotel Transylvania vibes. Tell me I'm wrong. Please do. I don't like that thought for some reason.
when ineffable bureaucracy scenes in season 2
i wanna
be with rhat
withher
Imagine seeing the person you despise most in the world and think they're genuinely the most awful, selfish and horrible being you've ever seen abandon their career for their loved one... and then see the person you love most in the world and think they're genuinely the kindest, most selfless and wonderful being you've ever known not do that for you.