Is This How Tag - Tumblr Posts

Everything And More

Pairing: The Doctor x reader. Not specifying which Doctor. 

Type: Platonic

Warnings:None

Song: I see you- Missio

AN: So I hope you enjoy this. This is the first, well first Doctor who fic i’ve posted online. This was a spur of the moment thing so please don’t be to mad at the short length. I hope that this helps you all in some way. Let me know what you think and hopefully I can figure out the tags for the Doctor Who fandom.

I dug the heels of my hands into my thighs as I gazed into the space before me. The sky was kissed with a thousand and one stars. Little flecks of white splashed against a black background.Then there were a few that were close enough for me to be able to see the planets orbiting them. The Doctor had told me that one day we would see them. When the ground was a little more green and the sky a little less blue. 

I resisted the urge to reach my hand out in an attempt at a mock caress. The artist in me wanted to capture each and every swirling galaxy and shooting comet into a canvas. To smear a brush against the nothing-ness it holds and make a universe all my own.

Maybe then I could see myself as a little more than nothing.

I could hear the steady thrum of the Tardis behind me. The slow breathing like sound accompanied by a mechanical beating. It throws me back into a time from when I was little and I had fallen asleep against my fathers chest. Between that steady thrum and the site before me. It helped with alleviating my anxiety. Quelling any fears I may have had that day and brought with it some company.

The Doctor came sitting down next to me wiping his hands with an already greasy cloth. The only reason why I have been able to sit here was because the Tardis needed some repairs. The poor girl had gotten hit on a particularly nasty adventure that had included, but was not limited to, a talking shoe, a bad hallucination, and giant fusion cannon. Which of those were real i’ll never know. The Doctor pocketed a few tools before he glanced over at me. A faint smile spread across his face as he looked out into the scene before us.

“What has you so quiet today?” I shrugged my shoulders and folded my hands into my lap.

“Nothing. Nothing important anyways.” At that he frowned. For some reason the Doctor hated it when I said anything about me wasn’t important. Be it what I was doing or how I felt about something. Never understood that bit. Normally when I told people that it was nothing they would leave it at that. But then again, maybe that’s what the problem was. Everyone would ask you how you were feeling. Maybe why you were acting differently than normal. But that was it. It’s a ‘‘polite’‘ thing to do. Such as saying hello to that stranger or a ‘have a good day’ to a friend. No one really cared or would want to listen. So it’s just easier to say ‘it’s nothing’ and leave it at that.

Except for him. It was never left at ‘its nothing’ or ‘im fine’. I’m still not sure on whether or not I liked it. For one it helped get my emotions out. On the other hand it left me feeling vulnerable before a man who could do anything he wanted with this information. Be it helpful or harmful. The only one who knew what truly went on in my head when all was quiet around me.

“Now don’t say that. That’s right up there with the no running off rule. No shoving stuff off. Now.” He shoves his shoulder against mine lightly. “Tell me what’s going through that mind of yours.” I fiddle with a ring on my finger. Twisting and turning the thick piece of metal out of nervous habit.

“I..I.” I fumble with my words. I never have been good at explaining how I feel. But, to be honest, I’m more afraid of what he’ll do when he finds out about the thoughts running through my head. Will it make him leave me? Will he think less of me? 

Will the Doctor call me sick as well?

I don’t think I could tell you why I care about his opinion so much. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he’s absolutely brilliant. Seemingly un-flawed in every way. This was the man that had saved hundreds. He was the man those looked up to, put faith and their hope into. 

And then there was me. Stupid, frumpy, anxiety filled me. The one who got looked over. The one who was forgotten. The one who would always break down in their room after a bad adventure. I really and truly wasn’t much of-

A hand catches the bottom of my chin and turns me to look at the Doctors face.

“You always worry away at the ring when somethings bad.” His hand comes up to cup the side of me face his thumb softly rubbing just bellow my eye. “Please. Let me help.” But why? I took in a sharp breath of air and began to cry.

“M’sorry. M’sorry. Sorry.” My shoulders heave up and down as I began sob my fingers dig into my legs as I try to grab onto something. Anything to hold me down onto this world. Within the Tardis.  

The Doctor pulled me close to him and placed a kiss on the top of my head. His arms wrap tightly around me as I grab a hold of  his jacket. Gathering a fist full of the fabric into my hands.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Do you understand Y/n? Never will you have to apologize, least of all to me.” He pulls back and cups my face forcing me to look at him. His eyes were intense and his lips were pressed tightly together. Little worry lines made home on his forehead and in the creases of his eyes. “You, my dear, are everything and more. Don’t let those thoughts over take you. Don’t let them win. I know it can be hard to fight then off, oh believe me I know.”  He wiped away the tears still spilling down the sides of my face.

“Don’t you see Y/n? This isn’t something you have to do alone. I’m here. I’m always here. The Tardis is here for you to. She cares. She knows.” I broke down all of my sorry’s dying before they could reach past my lips. 

“I know you feel small sometimes Y/n. I know you feel forgotten and lost. But you’re. Wherever you may go, however old you may get. I’ll always be here. So please, don’t cry. You are everything and more to me. It breaks my hearts that you think like this. So please. Let me fix it.”