It Keeps On Giving - Tumblr Posts

Have Some more

Grian: If anyone needs me, then fuck off.

Pearl: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Scott a little bit. BigB, holding Pearl's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Pearl: No, that's our joint tombstone. BigB: My mistake.

Bdubs: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? BigB: Wait, what’s the difference? Bdubs: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Scott: I hate you. Pearl: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Impulse: What is your favourite mythical story? BigB: The Story Of My Will To Live. Impulse: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

Scar: Why is Joel making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Ren! Ren: It’s because I’m Joel’s favorite. Scar: I hate you.

Pearl: Is the pink panther a lion? Impulse: Say that again but slower. Pearl: I don’t get it. Impulse: He’s a PANTHER. Pearl: Is that a type of lion? Impulse: No, it’s a fucking panther. Pearl: *googles panther* They aren’t pink? Impulse: AND LIONS ARE?!

Impulse: Good night. Mumbo: Sleep tight. Tango: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. Scar: Great, now Mumbo's crying.

Scar: Pearl, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. Pearl: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Joel: What happened?! Pearl: Do you want the long version or the short version? Joel: Sh-short?? Pearl: Shit's fucked. Joel: Okay, long. Pearl: Shit's very fucked.

Scar & Tango:*Playing video games* Joel: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? Scar: *silence* Tango: *silence* Joel, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you? Scar & Tango in shame: Yeah...

Joel to Cleo, who’s about to get married: Today, two families are becoming one. Tango, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves. Scar: That sounds so threatening… Skizz: The Wedding Games… Scott: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor. Cleo: Beautiful. Joel: Fuck all of you!

Impulse, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Tango: Blue flavor! Impulse: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Tango: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Impulse: Blue is not a flavor! Tango: BLUE FLAVOR!

Impulse: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Grian: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Jimmy: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Tango: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Grian: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk. Grian: *cuts piece of cake* Joel: ...Can I have some? Grian: Cake is for talkers.

Scott: Oooh, a train! Jimmy: We’re in a train station, Scott.

Gem: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. Bdubs: The cow?? Gem:What? Impulse: Bdubs, W H Y?

Pearl: *sneaking in through their window* BigB: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night? Pearl: I was with Jimmy? Jimmy: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

Scar: You can track Pearl? Jimmy: Of course I can. If the NSA can do it, so can I.

Tango: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

Martyn: So, Scar and Gem. Martyn: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto… Scar: We had a bad day. Martyn: And… MURDER?! Gem: It was a pretty bad day…

Bdubs: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Martyn: *crouches down* Joel: *kneels down* Cleo: *sits on the floor* Bdubs: Bdubs: I hate all of you.