Johnny Imagine - Tumblr Posts

hiya! today i offer you something rather special, my 100 followers appreciation post! ᵔદᵔ thank you so much for appreciating my work—so here’s a lil something appreciating our boys <3

all these little things — nct.

in which you discover just how much they love you through the little things.

—

taeyong has the habit of updating you constantly, even for minor things like getting his favorite soup on a particularly stressful day. he’d send you selcas with little hearts and captions saying “i miss you”, and when he’s travelling on tour—he’d send his pictures of the places he’d visited and would for sure return with a couple dozens of souvenirs just for you.

taeil would probably sing for you 24/7. he has an amazing voice and you’ve made it clear just how much you loved it. so he’d make sure to keep up to date with your favorite songs and learn to sing them so he could serenade you any time, any place.

johnny’s mom loved you. whenever the neos would go on tour, he’d bring you along and his mom would always be there waiting for you. he found it endearing how much his family adored you. he’d proudly share photos you both took together with his mom and she’d definitely frame them and put them on her wall.

yuta would teach you small japanese phrases every now and then. he’d drown you in compliments and would have to teach you their meanings every time he adds a new one. his term of endearment for you would almost always be a japanese word, which you think is absolutely adorable.

kun cares for you in an almost motherly way, the same way he does for his members. you know it’s a natural thing for him which is why you love this part of him so much. he always makes sure that you’re comfortable and well, constantly checking up on you and asking if he could do anything to help. you, of course, return the favor—which is why the rest of the neos think you two are the most sickly sweet couple there is.

doyoung would constantly take pictures of you, either to keep them for himself or to post them up on his instagram story. he would often style you as well, putting you in his clothes and grinning so wide and laughing lightly to himself. his phone wallpaper would be a picture he took of you on one of your many dates out together.

ten loves to do your makeup. he’s not that knowledgeable, but he’s well aware of your skin and makeup routine that he’d be able to do it himself! after a long day of work, he’d also tug you towards the bathroom to help you with your makeup, gently wiping the product away while humming a soft tune to help you relax.

jaehyun is kind of similar to ten in a way that he loves to do your hair. something about the softness in it had him addicted to gently running his fingers through your hair. sometimes, it would be enough to lull you to sleep, which has him cooing and gushing about how adorable you are.

winwin loves to travel with you. documenting it is a must! he loves rewatching your trips together on camera, and the first time he brings you to beijing, he makes sure to tour you around and takes you to the most beautiful places. he’d watch in awe as your eyes sparkle, the camera catching your most precious moment to him.

jungwoo is so tall compared to you, so he loves to tease you about it. he’d often tell the members that you and him were like the thumb and index finger together. he found it completely endearing and he knew that your huffs of annoyance weren’t actually angry. he loved to lift you up into his arms to ‘let you know what the weather is like’ up at his height.

mark loves to hold your hand. this man would try and keep physical contact with you at all times—and if holding your hand isn’t possible, he’d try to keep as close to you as possible. he’s a little awkward with you in an endearing way, but he’s never shy to hold your hand or place a sweet kiss to the back of your palm.

xiaojun would love to give you his sweaters while they’re having their dance practice. it was hard dating an idol who’s time was mostly spent at his company as a full time student, but he tries his hardest to bring you along and spend more time with you and dance practices were his favorite way to that. he’d wrap his jacket around your form, whether it be because you fell asleep or because he noticed that it was getting colder and you didn’t have a sweater on you.

hendery’s favorite thing to do is to joke around with you. you were his perfect pair—you had the same humor and laughed at the smallest things together. he’d have this soft gaze on you when you both were laughing until your stomachs hurt, those moments being his most treasured.

renjun would definitely enjoy sitting and drinking tea with you. oftentimes, he’d be the one to brew up your cup of tea especially after he finds out your favorite kind. he loves to watch as you talk about your schedule for the day, his eyes sparkling as he nods every now and then.

jeno has the habit of tugging you to lay on his chest if he felt you falling asleep. he wanted his heartbeat to calm you down, the soft beats urging you to sleep. he loved how close you were to him and no one would be able to wipe the grin off his face whenever you fall asleep on him.

haechan would always kiss your forehead. he’ll do it whenever you’re parting and he’ll do it upon the first time you’re seeing each other for the day. he almost always giggles or smirks after the kiss and follows it with his hand coming up to ruffle your hair.

jaemin tries his best to support you even in little ways. whenever he knew you were going to have a busy week, he prepares a small note and your favorite breakfast to encourage you and remind you that he’s proud of you no matter what. he’ll also check up on you every now and then for the rest of the week. he has this weird sense that lets him know if you’re feeling extra stressed and he’s there always.

yangyang is the type to go on walking dates. he loves to be with you anywhere and everywhere. you two have probably walked more than anyone else in the neos. he’ll pair it with some ice cream or iced coffee, and he especially loves walking in the winter with you—your nose a pale pink because of the cold, which results in a boop almost every time.

shotaro would send you dance recordings of his practices or of any choreography he’d been working on. he knew how much you loved his dancing, and you felt like falling in love with him over again when you found out he only ever sends them to you. he appreciated your comments and wanted to be excited with you first when he gets down a particularly difficult choreography.

sungchan loved to drape his sweaters, shirts or jackets over your figure. with his tall figure, he loved watching how big they looked on you because of the height difference. he’d almost always have a blush on his cheeks as he pats you hair, murmuring that you’re cute and that you should wear his clothes more often.

chenle is really loud about your relationship. he’ll bring you with him to every schedule that he’s allowed to. he loves showing you off to the neos and would always smile and wave at you despite his busy schedule—which sometimes earns him a slap to the back of his head by renjun, because he was disrupting a shoot.

jisung would buy you both matching necklaces, and never take his off. sometimes, when he was missing you a little extra, he’d twirl the charm of your initial hanging from his necklace around his fingers. something about it gave him comfort, and when you couldn’t be by his side, his necklace reminded him that you would always be there for him.

Suddenly I’m soft :”)

[0533] Your legs hung over the edge of the rooftop. Pink, orange and purple streaks stained the silent sky. You released your grip on the shirt that laid in your lap. “Do you believe in love?” your soft voice broke the silence.

“Yes,” Johnny replied, matching your volume. His eyes drank up the view of you. His flannel in your lap to keep you warm, the wind running through your hair gently, and the rising sun tanning your skin with peaches and lavenders.

“Why?” you asked, facing him. Confusion was written all over your face. “All love does is leave you broken and it’s-”

“Because I love you.

I loved this. The development of the relationship was done really well especially from their first interaction together. I’m going to read part 2 immediately so that I can see the conclusion to this work of art.

the legend;

∎ Everyone talks about him. Literally. He is at every party you go to and he always has a great time. No, an amazing time. This dude is a legend. You hear about all of the crazy things this guy does; swimming in the river in the middle of winter? It was bet; his 24h keg challenge? Did it without giving it a second thought; and the senior girl he slept with when he was only a freshman? I told you, a legend. He is the guy every girl wants to take to formal, but no one actually has the guts to ask.

∎ pairing: johnny x reader.

∎ genre: fratboy!johnny; angst; smut;

∎ warning: NSFW (explicit sexual content); alcohol and drugs consumption;

∎ word count: 20k.

FRATHOUSE MASTERLIST. 

READ PART II HERE. 

Keep reading

[10:48 PM]

seconds after a short text, johnny is already at your side.

you’re already sobbing when he pulls you into his arms. you close your eyes and sob even harder as he cups your face in his hands so gently that you barely feel it. you look into his soft brown eyes, unstoppable tears streaming down your flushed cheeks.

“oh dear,” he murmurs as he pulls you closer and lets your tears wet his light blue hoodie. “who hurt you?” his face is overwhelmed by concern for you and he strokes your swollen cheek with one hand. 

you don’t respond but clench onto the fabric by his waist tighter as you burrow inside what seems like a perfect paradise, safe and separated from the rest of the world. you’re shaking and sobbing and everything in-between, and johnny wraps his strong arms around you quietly.

“i-i can’t do this,” you say, your voice cracking as you speak the words. you’re looking at him, into his eyes that almost seem to reflect the hurt you feel. 

he listens.

you tangle your fingers with his, using all four clasped hands to wipe your tears. “i need to run away so bad.”

“i’d love to take you with me,” he breathes, “but you know i can’t.”

you would smile, but you can’t. “i know.” you know too well. you lean back into his chest as he leans his head on yours, and wrap your arms around his waist firmly - as if he’s a lifeline. “i know.” 

johnny presses a kiss to your head and gently pats your back as you continue to sob, each choked cry shattering his heart even more.

2.9.2020

[happy birthday johnny, i love you]

you can never forget johnny - because of his big heart, yes, but also because of all the little things he’d do.

he’d constantly show up with small gifts at your door because he remembered something random you said one time - like the time you told him that you watched a lot of dora as a kid and that boots was your favorite character, and he bought you a mini-boots plushie at the airport months later because it reminded him of you. 

he’d send you videos of him kissing the camera repeatedly when he missed you, spamming your phone with “i love you so much” texts until you were giggling hysterically at his persistence in getting you to say it as many times as he was saying it. 

he’d be so eager to model for your photography or art, although you knew he probably wanted to be away from the camera on days he was off. johnny claimed that you taking a picture of him was different somehow - he loved to see how you saw him.

he’d slip one hand into your hair as you kissed, careful that you wouldn’t strain your neck because he was so much taller than you, and he’d wrap the other arm around your waist.

he’d bow deeply to your parents and would help them wash the dishes after each meal - although they told him not to since he was a guest - conversing smoothly with them until all of them were laughing at his stories. the true highlight, though, was slipping your hand into his clammy one at the end of the day as he confessed how nervous he’d been in case he slipped up in front of your parents. you would giggle, tippy-toe to press a kiss to his cheek, and tell him that wouldn’t happen. your parents adored him.

he’d drum his fingers in a specific pattern whenever he thought of you; the pattern that the both of you later found out was morse code for “my love.” johnny had the faintest memory of memorizing morse code in middle school, but hadn’t realized that it was still embedded in his subconsciousness. 

you had loved him all the more.

[10:47 pm]

“kiss me like you love me,” you breathe as you lean into johnny, his warm breath brushing over your lips as his hands gently take hold on your waist.

johnny’s eyes seem to kiss your eyes just as passionately as his lips kiss your lips - until your eyelids flutter shut under his insatiable dark brown gaze. his hands have made their way up your torso and are entangled in your hair, his long fingers softly holding your head as he leans down to meet his lips with yours. johnny’s mind pleads with him to savor this moment with slow, tender kisses upon your lips, but his heart races so fast that he can barely think.

johnny has been dreaming about this very moment since sophomore year of high school: the year he realized he did love his best friend. he had dreamt about this very moment every time you tucked your hair behind your ear; every time your mutual friends teased the two of you for bickering like an old married couple; every time you introduced johnny to your new boyfriend with a cute giggle and a peck johnny always wished was for himself; every time you wore his oversized light blue hoodie for heartbreak sleepovers, wrapped in his arms and crying over a movie and your breakup as he ran his hands over your hair comfortingly.

johnny has dreamt about this moment so often that he doesn’t understand how you can tell him to kiss you like he loves you - how you can be so oblivious to the fact that he’s loved you and your endearing, pink-cheeked smile for years on end.

johnny swallows back the three words clawing at his throat - begging to be let free just to be shattered into pieces - as he pulls you closer. “kiss me like you love me,” he repeats in a breath, and hopes you didn’t hear his voice cracking ever so slightly.

[11:05 am]

every time you and best friend!mark break into laughter at another stupid joke, both of you subconsciously smack best friend!johnny’s shoulder, causing johnny to playfully shout “ow!” as he leans back from the both of you.

[7:38 pm]

you and best friend!johnny watch the orange-pink sunset from the roof of his house, your head leaning on his chest. you’re sitting by his side, your legs across his lap and his arms resting on your legs. the two of you are enveloped by the fluffy grey blanket johnny stole from your house years ago and “accidentally” took back to korea. soft music plays from his phone a few feet away, the sound fading into the orange sky.

you haven’t done anything like this with johnny in years - much less even seen him in person in a while - because of johnny’s busy schedule and constant practice. so when johnny had finally gotten his first long vacation in years, he had decided to come see you. (to be fair, it was also to see his parents, but he promised you were big part of the reason he decided to come back to chicago rather than travel france with the rest of his members.)

johnny missed you more than you can imagine. johnny has always been an amazing listener, especially for his members - he is the one all the members go to if they have a problem they want to rant about. but whenever johnny needs to rant, he always calls you. and you listen to johnny, whether it’s 2 am or 2 pm - and he loves to do the same for you despite his busy schedule.

to johnny, you’re his best friend and favorite listener - his partner in crime, his go-to call for winter ice cream, his cooking buddy for messy aftermaths and ugly cakes, his most feared enemy in snowball fights, his favorite person to crack inside jokes with, his best human pillow for daytime naps.

and as johnny rests his head on yours, absentmindedly toying with your fingers as he murmurs whatever comes to mind, he knows that you’re genuinely listening to him and he feels as if he is finally, truly home.

never have i ever - pt. 2 (johnny)

part one here, read for leadup :)

warnings: cursing, nerf gun??

word count: 2.8 k

[you chose:]

johnny, your best friend who has been acting strange recently but who still holds a special place in your heart.

“hey,” a quiet voice interrupts your thoughts, a soothing breeze in midst of the storm. “let’s go, i’ll walk you home.”

you raise your head to see johnny, who smiles softly when he meets your eyes. you swallow thickly again, really not wanting to cry. “johnny, i just need a few minutes alone,” you tell him, placing your head back on your folded legs. 

johnny sighs, and shuffling noises make you look up to come directly face-to-face with your best friend. “boo?” he offers. johnny’s crouching on the asphalt ground across from you. 

you let out a small smile and short breath at his joking attempt to scare you, and johnny returns your smile.

you know you’re being dramatic - johnny obviously has many friends besides you, and you can’t expect to be his closest friend forever. he’ll have secrets that he keeps from you and not from other friends.

but johnny knows everything about you, from the smallest things that can brighten your day to your deepest secret that digs its way up your throat and tries to suffocate you every now and then. johnny’s always there for you when you cry, whether it’s over the phone or him running down the street to your dorm to calm you as you shake. he’s been there since high school, and you’d like to think you’d been there for him, too.

you know johnny could do so much better than a shitty best friend like you with nothing much to offer. you need him more than he needs you, and perhaps that’s why you feel terrified at the prospect that maybe you’re not johnny’s best friend anymore. a tear drips down your cheek at the realization, and you quickly reach up to wipe it, hoping johnny didn’t see.

johnny sucks in a breath. he definitely saw. “is it something i did?” he says softly. you shake your head. his jaw clenches, “did-did something happen with mark?”

“no!” you say, a little too fast for the second time tonight. johnny raises an eyebrow. “no, really. he didn’t make me sad or anything. he made me happy, actually.” did he? you think he did, at least.

johnny stares at the asphalt. “that’s good. why are you upset, then?”

“i’m just being overdramatic,” you shrug, and fib, “i’m on my period.”

johnny almost rolls his eyes. “don’t lie about your period, you had it last week.” 

you flush, suddenly remembering that you’d asked johnny to bring you some pads in an emergency last week. “shit, i did.” you grin sheepishly. “well, maybe it’s a post-period mood swing? it’s nothing, don’t worry.”

“your emotions aren’t irrelevant,” johnny says. you’re silent. he stands, brushing his jeans off. “come on, let’s get ice cream for your post-period mood swing,” he jokes and holds a hand out for you to take.

you smile and grab his hand, pulling yourself up. “only if you pay.”

johnny laughs, a deep, soothing, happy sound that rings through the empty street. “i’ll pay if you get there first.” johnny starts off running, and your eyes widen.

“hey!” you whisper-shout, cautious not to wake any of the neighbors who are still sleeping through the bass of the music vibrating through jaehyun’s walls. you run after your best friend, who’s already gotten a head start down the street. as you grab onto the back of johnny’s jean jacket and lightly yank him back - johnny laughing and latching his hands around your waist to prevent you from running ahead - you feel like you’re the two high school juniors who snuck out of their houses at ten for boba again.

you and johnny eventually run out of breath, and johnny promises to pay for ice cream since neither of you can run another block. he keeps his promise, paying for your rainbow sherbet and his chocolate ice cream cone at the counter. 

“out with your girlfriend?” asks the cashier, a middle-aged man who smiles at the two of you like you’re his own children.

you expect johnny to tell him you’re not dating, but johnny simply smiles at the cashier. “thank you for the ice cream.” 

you frown in confusion as you trail after johnny, who’s walking ahead of you. “why didn’t you tell him?” you say when you catch up.

“tell him what?” johnny says. maybe it’s your imagination, but his cheeks seem redder than usual - it’s probably the cold air nipping at his skin.

“you know what,” you say, your eyes narrowed.

johnny blushes. “i don’t know,” he says bluntly. when you open your mouth again, he suddenly points to a few blocks ahead. “look, the carnival’s here already!”

it’s a small pop-up, traveling carnival with questionable rides and almost certainly rigged games that comes to the town every year at about this time for a week. a few students and many kids attend the carnival like a religious ceremony. you haven’t been to the carnival with johnny, but you also haven’t seen johnny ever this excited about something like the carnival before - you strongly suspect he’s just trying to distract you from whatever you were going to say. you oblige him, though, as he pulls your hand like a puppy on a leash.

“let’s go, hm?” he says when you’re by the entrance, and you’re reminded of a large puppy as he looks at you with those wide pleading eyes. 

you laugh. “okay, let’s go.”

johnny beams and leads you inside. “i’ve never been here.”

you’re not quite sure why johnny’s not letting go of your hand even after you’re inside, but you tell yourself it’s the alcohol getting to him. “i came here with mina last year,” you say, remembering how your friend almost strangled a booth manager when he said her prize was ‘unavailable at the moment.’ you can’t seem to tell johnny with his enthusiastic expression that it sucked, though. “it was cool.” you aren’t completely lying; you did have a good time with mina.

“i haven’t been to a carnival since i was twelve,” johnny smiles, cheerfully swinging your interlocked hands as you walk together. you feel like you’re dating johnny for a second - johnny with his pretty smile and his gentle hands and his soft voice. butterflies swirl inside your stomach at the thought of dating your best friend.

“really?” you say, swallowing your emotions down for the umpteenth time that night. “who’d you go with?”

“i think it was my dad,” johnny says after thought. as you look at him, you can’t help but think he looks handsome even under the dim red and yellow lights of the carnival. “do you have something you want to do?”

you shrug. “i’m not particularly good at anything.”

“me neither,” johnny grins. “wanna try that?” he juts his chin out to a shooting booth. 

“that’s so cliché,” you wrinkle your nose playfully. “you choose a shooting booth out of all of these?”

“come on,” johnny laughs and pulls at your hand. “you have to give me a chance to impress you at something.”

you know he’s joking, but you can’t help but blush as he tugs you along. the booth manager - an extremely bored-looking man in his late twenties - mutters something about stupid couples. “five dollars per ten shots,” he gestures to a target with gold, red, and blue rings that is placed a few meters behind him. “blue is a keychain, red is a plushie, and gold is a jumbo doll.”

it’s expensive, the target is almost impossibly minuscule, and the game is probably rigged. “maybe we should do something else,” you tell johnny, who pouts with earnest eyes that seem to beg please. you purse your lips. “fine, but don’t blame me if you lose all your money.”

johnny grins, handing the man a five dollar bill. “you know, i was lying when i said i’m not particularly good at anything.” he’s rather arrogant as he holds the toy shotgun with one hand - even going as far to wink at you before his first shot. he misses the target completely.

you giggle. “you’re right. you’re particularly bad at this.”

johnny pouts once more, grinning. “i’ll do better next time.” the next eight shots don’t hit anywhere near the target either, though, and he groans. “this has to be rigged.”

“let me try,” you say, curious. you aim the toy gun and pull the trigger as the nerf dart shoots out, the recoil pushing you back slightly. 

“oh, shit,” johnny says, his eyes sparkling as he wraps you in a big quick hug in his excitement. “that was awesome!”

you’re confused until you look over johnny’s shoulder to see that your nerf dart had landed on the edge of the blue ring. “oh, shit!” you say, a bit dumbfounded. “i got it!”

“pick one,” the booth manager passively pushes a rather dusty box of keychains towards you and johnny. 

johnny peers over your shoulder as you turn towards the box - an assortment of colorful, cheap-looking plastic keychains. you’re just happy you got the target, though. “wanna choose, johnny?” you coo at the tall boy as if he’s a child.

johnny blushes. “what?”

“pick one,” you say, pulling him closer to the box by his hand. “it’s your money anyways.”

“you won it,” johnny says. “pick one for me. it’ll mean more, then.”

your heart skips. had johnny’s dark eyes always been so pretty, his voice always been so pleasant, his hand in yours always been so large and soft? it must be the carnival lights and the endless night sky making you insanely sentimental. you shake yourself from your thoughts as johnny smiles at you in eager anticipation, turning your eyes towards the keychains. “hm,” you hum as you trace your fingers over the plastic keychains. “what about this one?” you hold up a keychain with a plastic teddy bear attached to it. something about it reminds you of johnny - it might be because johnny’s always there for a hug whenever you need him, or it might simply be because johnny’s sweater under his jacket is the same shade of brown as the keychain.

johnny grins. “cute.”

your heart skips again. “g-good,” you stumble over your words, trying to repair the mistake with a confident smile at the booth manager. “thanks.”

the man rolls his eyes and pushes the keychain box back into its original spot. you and johnny take that as a cue to leave. johnny tucks the keychain into his pocket as the two of you stroll through the carnival, eyeing other sketchy booths. johnny asks if you want to go on one of the thriller rides - your eyes widen as you shake your head, telling him you think you read a news article about someone who broke a bone on one of them. johnny ruffles your hair - to which you glare at him - and tells you he’s very skeptical.

“i don’t think we’ve ever been to an amusement park together,” you say as johnny reaches for the cotton candy the two of you are sharing. you’re sitting on a stone bench as you watch one of the rides swing dangerously high. 

“we haven’t,” johnny munches on the cotton candy, humming absentmindedly as his eyes follow the bright lights of the swinging ride. you can hear the muffled screams of people on the ride from far away. “i don’t think there were any amusement parks near our neighborhood in high school.”

“i feel like almost every time we intentionally see each other, it’s in a classroom, one of our dorms, or at a café,” you smile, a sweet aftertaste of the cotton candy on your tongue. you lick your lips. “we should do something else, maybe invite some of our other high school friends to do something together.”

“that would be fun,” johnny smiles, remembering the high school friend group the two of you used to be close with. “i miss them.” you nod in agreement, taking another bite of cotton candy. “by the way, are you really going out with mark for coffee?”

your tongue suddenly feels bitter, as if you already feel the taste of coffee on the tip of your tongue. “i told him i was,” you say. “i think he might like me?” it’s more of a question than a statement. 

johnny’s staring at the ride, but his eyes seem to be unfocused. “do you like him?”

you don’t know how to respond. it’s true that you appreciate the cute boy’s lovable blush and caring demeanor, and it’s true that he’s objectively attractive with his masculine cheekbones and wide eyes - but you’re not quite sure if you actually like mark. “i don’t know,” you say honestly. “but i want to see if it works out.”

“i-i don’t want you to go,” johnny says.

you blink, head whipping towards johnny. “what?” you’re not sure if you heard that right.

johnny bites his lip, still staring at the ride as if he’s afraid of looking you in the eyes. “i don’t want you to go.” 

it feels like the butterflies you’d swallowed down are making their way back up your throat. “i- what?” you feel utterly stupid, but you can’t seem to comprehend what’s happening. he’s silent. “johnny?”

johnny finally turns towards you, his eyes meeting your own. his breath hitches, but he chokes the words out. “i like you, you know,”

no, you definitely didn’t know. the words are at the tip of your tongue, but you bite them back because they don’t seem quite appropriate. besides, you don’t think your brain would let you say anything coherent right now with your heart jumping out of your chest.

johnny’s heart races with adrenaline. maybe it’s the spur of the moment, the dim red and yellow carnival lights, and the endless night that drives him crazy at this moment - or maybe it’s just the cheap alcohol at jaehyun’s place finally getting to his head. “i like you a lot.” his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips and back, and he can’t help but notice your shocked expression. “fuck, i can’t believe you didn’t know.” he laughs, running a hand through his hair. “i thought it was really obvious - and jaehyun and doyoung kept throwing those really obvious signals.”

you almost sputter. “t-that was about me?” you say, your face heating up as you remember the questions jaehyun and doyoung had asked during the game.

“oh - i shouldn’t have said that,” johnny mutters, his own cheeks a scarlet red as he remembers the questions they’d asked. he ruffles his hair again. “now it’s gonna be really awkward, isn’t it?”

you giggle, but a thousand thoughts storm your mind and a million butterflies storm your stomach. 

“let’s get home,” johnny smiles. this time, you know it’s not the dim carnival lights or the infinite night that makes your heart skip. you nod. 

the two of you walk home in comfortable silence, johnny coming to terms with an answer you never gave and you letting your thoughts run wild inside your head. you’ve always known johnny was handsome, sensible, caring. as you think about johnny’s pretty smile, johnny’s gentle hands, and johnny’s gentle voice, you realize that every time he’d wrap you in a hug, you’d stop crying; every time he looked upset, you’d be bothered for the rest of your own day; and every time he smiled at you, your heart would skip a beat. you realize that if you had a type, it would be tall, handsome, sensible johnny with his pretty smile, endearing bear hugs, and a heart even larger than himself - and you do have a type.

johnny’s steps slow as the two of you arrive at your dorm - johnny’s dorm is a few more blocks down. “goodnight,” johnny says, showing you his pretty smile another time. his eyes dart from your eyes to the sidewalk nervously, as if you might tell him you don’t want to be best friends anymore. 

“johnny,” you start, and his eyes meet yours again. you can see a mixture of regret and anticipation in them, but you choose to ignore it because the butterflies are already threatening to burst out of your stomach. you’ve never been good with words, no matter how simple they need to be. you take a deep breath before tugging johnny down by the collar of his jean jacket and pressing a kiss to his lips. johnny tastes like cotton candy and his soft hair that brushes against your forehead smells like the same lavender shampoo he’s used ever since you can remember. as you pull apart, you wonder if your face is as flustered as johnny’s is.

“i,” johnny says, the smile you adore spreading across his face along with the blush. “i- you like me?”

“i like you,” you repeat, finally finding the words you’d been looking for. you beam. “i like you, johnny.”

johnny laughs, and it’s the happiest laugh you’ve ever heard escape your best friend’s lips. his hands wrap around your waist as he lifts and spins you quickly, and you squeal in surprise. he laughs again, pressing another soft cotton candy kiss to your lips. “i like you, (y/n).”

an: was listening to ella mai's shot clock and here we are. part 2 probably when i remember to actually create rather than consume when i'm on here

you'd just about had it with johnny...

you'd had it with him thinking coming over to your place and occasionally having toe curling sex was a date, you'd had it with how he'd met all of your friends and you were yet to meet his, you'd had it with how loosely he threw around pet names like "mine and "my girl", whispering sweet nothings to you - completely oblivious to the effect things as simply complex as "only for me..." had on you - you'd had it with how he'd cockblock you and claim you as his every time other guys tried to hit on you at parties, how he'd make no efforts to tell people off when they made passes at him, but heaven forbid another man did so much as look at you and all hell would break loose.

the worst part of it wasn't that you'd had to turn down men that were just as hot as him. oh no, not at all. in-fact, you were quite pleased with yourself for having bagged the fine specimen. a devious smile that was a code you could never quite crack, you'd come to learn meant a multitude of things, his gaze was one that could do so much as to leave you a stuttering mess upon making eye contact, his height foreshadowed the sizeable member that lie beyond the material of his beloved pair of jeans.

there was more to him than the physical, he had manners, something of his you admired. how he respected both you and himself enough to freshen up before coming over, always waiting for you to give him the 'ok' to come in when you eagerly opened your apartment door to his smiley, clean and comfy looking self, nice enough to use a coaster when he poured himself something to drink - something he remembered you'd given him a stern talking to for not doing the first time he came over - using the ottoman rather than putting his legs up on the sofa or coffee table, offering to wash the dishes you were yet to muster up the energy to clean, how cocky and full of himself he was...how full of him you were, never missing the opportunity to call you his tiny baby, his size having you mutter incoherent babbles while his hips moved sporadically into you, having no qualms about wiping you down and opening a bath for you right after, how good he always smelt after coming out of the shower, the notable contrast compared to the room that both smelled and looked like a sex marathon had transpired.

But no, the worst part wasn't how perfect he was, the worst part was that he wasn't yours...

it sucked how much your heart melted when he'd do so little as to flash you a warm smile, it sucked how you loved how possessive he got of you, it sucked how he treated you like you were his special girl, it sucked how much you loved him...

it tore you apart knowing you had come this far with him and yet whenever you were asked on the status of your relationship, you'd be the only one that burned of embarrassment when you received looks of sympathy when you revealed he was merely your situationship. you knew you didn't have the heart to confront johnny about how he had practically dribbled and made a mockery out of your feelings. how each and every time you'd convinced yourself you were ready to cut him off, he'd snake his way up into the gap of your thighs, lapping away at the front of bravery you'd put up as if it were ice cream and all you could do was lay there to melt.

if you hadn't yet mentioned it in the last six months, what would trigger the sudden change?

maybe it was the fact that the soft patters of water had prematurely woken you up from sleep. reaching for his phone for the time, only for there to be a pang you felt in your heart as you read the crude notification from one of the girls you'd seen at a party you'd attended mere hours early, while your boy-...friend was in the shower. not surprised by what you had assumed were his antics, you weren't angry, or even hurt, just sheerly and utterly drained.

for the duration of the party and every party prior to that, you hadn't over-stepped and told anybody to back off from making any advances on him. it wasn't because you had faith in him, you couldn't stomach yet another look of sympathy, one of those looks that made it very evident that you weren't his, you were just his favourite.

................

an: man i'm so incredibly tired but i didn't want you guys to forget me lmao.... here's a little something of proof i'm not dead and whatnot...