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The Girl In the Mirror

TW: mentions of blood, gender dysphoria

There are times in the Dark Where I find myself looking at– The girl in the mirror– The one that I Murdered– The one who still Lives in my eyes– And breathes new life– When the saccharine howls of the dinner guests beckon Her from her grave

There are times I can’t help but mourn her lack– Her inability to Die– To be lost among the sands of time Weathered into a blissful nothing– Alas, Her name leaves their lips like a Knife, And she leaves the bathroom, her dress stained red– They won’t let her Die

Sometimes I wonder, behind the glassy mirror Eyes glazed over in acceptance– exhaustion– Whether or not I’ve lied to the girl– Whether she should have died at all– If I truly wanted to denounce Girlhood before It grew up– or if it was just easier than Admitting that I’d Failed at it

Too late now, the wolves sing– The red on their teeth matching the dress– The red on my hands– The red lipstick I wear to prove to the world that I can play its stupid game– I don’t want to play Never did But I already dug the grave

been having some holiday thoughts, shoutout to all my gendered homies who have to spend the holidays being deadnamed, i love you all a thousand times more than i could possibly love myself, and i hope you all stay safe <333

firsts ✰ peter parker

summary : a collection of firsts between you and your beloved boyfriend, peter benjamin parker. 

author’s note : y’all okay this is so long my apologies i just??? went so overboard??? because i loved this so much?? also i could probably do more of these because it’s so cute and there are more things that could be added this was just already so long

the first time you meet peter, you’re pretty sure, at least just for a second, that you’ve officially met the human form of sunshine

seriously he’s always so happy??? and smiling??? and it’s honestly makes him so attractive to you in the first place

other than the exceptionally cute face that keeps angling itself toward you ever so slightly in ap chem class that thursday morning 

you’re both in lab and he’s sitting at his shared table with ned and he’s supposed to be making the mixture for his webs but oh well he’d rather stare at you like he does in every class you have together

(it’s three, three classes and two free periods and lunch and your locker is four down from his, not that he’s paying much attention to that sort of thing)

finally ned encourages him to walk up to you in class and ask for an extra beaker one day

“do you want my hat for some confidence boosts”

“no ned you’re the only one who can wear that hat properly”

“you’re not wrong”

so peter casually strolls up to your table where you’re sitting alone because your partner is absent and he bumps into the front of the desk 

you glance up from your work to see him holding his ribcage and mumbling under his breath

“oh, hi peter!” you say cheerfully

“wait you know my name?” ohmygodohmygod she knows who i am what the hell oh my god

“well duh, we have three classes together of course i do”

the best way to describe him in that moment is having lit up from within

he instantaneously smiles so wide and so excitedly as he realizes that you’ve noticed him too and maybe not in the same way he’s been noticing you but it doesn’t matter because it’s something 

he can work with something

and he definitely does

from the moment he slid into the empty seat next to you, turning around to give ned a completely obvious thumbs up with another wide grin, you knew you were goner

the first time you hold hands with peter you’re on the train with him going to meet may for the first time

you’re sort of together but not really but at the same time everyone knows that you and peter are pretty much dating

anyways peter really wants you to meet his aunt because she’s his favorite person ever but you’re slowly becoming a contender for that title

also may has been relentlessly asking to meet you for the past month and a half of you and peter developing strong feelings for each other so he figures now is as good a time as any

especially since he’s planning on asking you to be his girlfriend in the very very near future

so you’re taking the train back to his apartment and there’s barely any room for the both of you to sit unless he goes across the cart and the last thing this cutie wants to do is leave you 

he’s chilling and holding onto the pole thing by your seat and his other hand is dangling at his side kind of close to yours and he really wants to grab your hand so his fingers are kind of like twitching awkwardly ‘cause he’s not sure whether or not he should just lean down and go for it

you’re the one that goes for it in the end, shifting your bag on your lap before you reach out to hold his hand kind of loosely in case he doesn’t really want to

but he really wants to

and the blood rushes to his face so quickly when he glances down to see you shyly smiling up at him with your hand in his not quite firmly enough 

he laces his fingers through yours and makes sure you know he wants to do this more than anything else 

peter kind of adores hand holding

it makes him super happy and he feels safe and loved and cared for when you hold his hand for that first time 

he swings your hands back and forth between you as you trek to his apartment and he does it an exaggerated fashion that makes you laugh

he’s happy, so happy

the first time he kisses you is that same day, and it’s also the day he officially becomes your boyfriend

basically it’s a day neither you nor him would ever or could ever forget

you had just arrived at his building and you were both just standing there staring at each other with your hands still clasped together 

he had a dopey little happy adorable grin on his face as he bounced on his heels slightly and that made you smile so hard as well 

he looked like the most excited little boy ever 

which he was, if you really think about it

anyway he kind of just moves his hands up to your face for like a second and he hesitates but you nod and tell him that it’s okay so he presses them against your cheeks

“i- i wanna… can i… i’m gonna kiss you is that okay maybe”

“yeah pete, that’d be okay with me” you smile really softly at him and he nods again and he’s so nervous

he leans in and you lean in and you’re so close that you can practically feel his eyelashes delicately fluttering against your cheeks 

and then he closes his eyes and he kisses you and it’s only for like four seconds but it’s okay because you’re sure that it’s the best kiss you’ve ever experienced in your life

when he pulls back he’s so blushy and cute and shy with his head ducked slightly so you can’t look at him when he asks the next question

“so- um, maybe when i- i introduce you to may, i could possibly call you my… girlfriend? maybe? if you’d like to be…”

“PETERYESI’VEBEENWAITINGIWOULDLOVETOBE”

“OHOKAYIMSORRYTOKEEPYOUWAITING”

“IT’SFINEIREALLYLIKEYOU”

“ILIKEYOUMORE OKAY COOL LET’S GO MEET MAY”

the cutest babes ever :’))

the first time he calls you babe is maybe a week or two later

he doesn’t really mean to but it slips out and he can’t take it back

after seeing your reaction to it he doesn’t want to it back anyhow but before he notices how bright you beam at him he definitely slaps a hand over his face in embarrassment 

because like,,, is that even allowed am i supposed to say things like that what are relationship rules is that okay ohmygod

so you’re sitting at his desk and you’re going over calc homework with him and you’ve got a pen cap stuck between your lips as you concentrate and he is on his bed with one hand on his cheek and an elbow propping him so he can gaze at you the way an art connoisseur would admire a painting in the MET and he can’t help it

it just slips out like

“i got really lucky when i met you babe”

but he doesn’T MEAN TO SAY BABE AND HIS HEART KIND OF GOES !!!!!!!! but in a bad way

he’s like ah fuck i ruined it

but you spin around in his little spinny chair that you love and you grin at him and then he relaxes a bit and thinks hey ok good job peter so suave and charming nice one man and pats himself on the back a bit

“babe huh”

he tries to play it cool but he squeaks out “ummm yeah well like if you’re cool with it ya know haha” 

spoiler alert ! you’re v cool with it

the first time he says i love you isn’t during some big grandiose argument about him being spider-man

in fact it’s probably the lamest fucking thing ever and he kind of regrets not making it a bigger deal to tell you that he loves you but like whatever

it makes for a funny story

he’s been up with you the past two weeks studying for a history final that has you stressed out you haven’t kissed him hello in like… two days

you get out of your final and you’re like sweating from the stress of it and from holding your breath while answering questions because half of the shit you studied for isn’t on the test??? and like??? american education system whatever bye

he doesn’t even have a test that day but he waits outside the room for the hour and a half anyway

“you probably aced it babe you’re so smart i bet you did wonderfully i’m so sure of it”

“when i go to summer school you’re gonna wanna take those words back peter benjamin parker” “shut up let me supportive gosh y/n… anyways wanna go get celebratory donuts, my treat obviously”

“yes let’s go right now”

so another few days pass and you’re getting the tests back and peter skips the last ten minutes of his advanced english class to linger outside your door so he can be the first to greet you when you leave

the bell rings and you’re the last one out 

(this is mostly to tease peter because you know he’s outside the door he’s not good at being inconspicuous even if he’s spider-man)

you finally come out and he bounds over to you with wide eyes and places his hands on your shoulders 

*drmatically* “tell me the news”

*sadly* “well i…” *dramatic pause* “acED IT WITH FLYING COLORS PETER I PASSED !!!!!”

he practically squeals with happiness and he hugs you so tightly you’re lifted off your feet as he babbles on “oh my gosh i knew you could do it i’m so proud i love you so much you’re so smart i can’t believe i’m with a genius wow”

you step back with your mouth sort of agape in shock and peter tilts his head at you in confusion because he didn’t know that he said it just came out like words tend to do with him

“peter”

“what?????”

“you just you loved me”

“wait i did” he takes a moment to remember what he said and then he does and he just goes “aw damn it that’s not how i wanted to say it now it’s ruined god damn it”

and you’re just like the epitome of the heart eyes emoji because he looks so distraught that he ruined the moment 

“peter shut up for a second you dummy i love you so much too”

“oH REALLY WOW THAT’S AWESOME”

he’s a huge dork

but you wouldn’t have it any other way because this is the nerd that you love and would love for as long as possible

Keep reading

Listen yall, these books mention how the Alphas are like as pure Jango you can get (Ill have to double check but I'm pretty sure they say it once) And ALSO describe the Nulls as the Kaminoans messing with them too much and being broader and heavier as a result and MY brain latched onto this fact by going "Wait, does that mean the Alphas are smaller than the Nulls?" I find this so funny cause all I can think of is Alpha-17 being shorter than like say Mereel for instance and this 5'8 man just THROWING Mereel off of Tipoca City like he's a particularly unruly bag of flour and I love this image so much it brings me so much join

Now, I am eternally grateful my other celebrity crushes were either social media free or dead.

Nothing can stop me from being stupid.

I try to write a little thing on most post I see. I understand the pain of having your work ignored.

People used to comment on web comics.

People used to comment on fanfiction.

People used to comment on fanart.

People used to comment on OCs.

I hate "content" culture.

I hate "consuming content" and scrolling immediately to the next thing.

People used to be excited about the art that other people created.

People used to want to share that excitement with creators.

I hate this future.

I feel like the way Percy could never get rid of the gods and their stupid quests is like a symbolic representation of how we never really leave our insecurities behind or how those specific thoughts just wander into our heads no matter how hard we try to get rid of them.

The gods also show how often our parents hurt us not physically not always but mentally. They need us to be their perfect little child not realising that maybe we are perfect just the way we are? Or that idk maybe we don't want to be their image of perfection.

It's horrible that sometimes your worst internal enemy is your parent. The person who is supposed to reassure you just ends up fucking you up in the head.

All kids deserve parents, but all parents don't deserve kids.

i am remus lupin and he is me.

i am lily evans and she is me

i am regulus black and he is me