Klavir - Tumblr Posts
Klavir: How many children do you have?
Rett: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.
Pyke: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Chuckles and Rett's convo?
Dandy: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Klavir: I'm in the washing machine.
Laboosh: I'm in the closet.
Dandy: We accept you Laboosh. <3
Laboosh: No I'm literally in the closet.
Dandy: Love is love. <3
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What was the convo abt? Wrong answers only
Kavir: Would you slap Chuckles-
Leboosh: Yes.
Kavir: I didn't even finish!
Leboosh: Sorry, continue.
Kavir: Would you slap Chuckles for 10 dollars?
Leboosh: I would do it for free. Chuckles: Rude...
Rett: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Chuckles : >:O language
Dandy: Yeah watch your fucking language
Pyke: Okay, who taught Dandy the fuck word?!
Laboosh: 'The fuck word'.
Klavir: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Dandy: Oh my god they censored it
Laboosh: Say fuck, Klavir.
Dandy: Do it, Klavir. Say fuck.
Pyke: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*
Klavir: Hey, Pyke, how was your day?
Pyke: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Klavir* Hell.
Dandy, distraught, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?
Klavir: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Dandy: You and me!
Klavir: *tearing up* Ok.
Klavir: Here you go, Pyke, a nice hot cup of coffee!
Pyke: It's cold.
Klavir: A nice cup of coffee.
Pyke: It's horrible!
Klavir: Cup of coffee.
Pyke: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.
Klavir: C U P.
Rett: Your smile? It makes my day.
Pyke: Your happiness? I live for that.
Klavir: A room? Get one.
Laboosh: Hotel? Trivago.
Pyke: We’re kind of missing something guys.
Rett: Cohesion?
Klavir: Teamwork?
Chuckles : A general sense of what we’re doing?
Dandy: And Laboosh is not here.
Rett: Oh, and that, yeah.
Rett: Comparing Klavir and Chuckles is like comparing apples and oranges.
Klavir: We’re both unique in our own ways?
Rett: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.
Chuckles : Which one of us is the orange?
Klavir: What if we were stranded on a desert island? Who would you eat?
Laboosh: Pyke.
Klavir: So fast? Wh-what about me? I would eat you!
Laboosh: That’s very nice, I guess.
Klavir: Why wouldn’t you eat me? I’m your best friend.
Laboosh: Look, if other people are having some, I’ll try you.
Klavir, to the Squad: I’d die for you.
Rett: Then perish.
Pyke: You will.
Dandy: Please don’t.
Chuckles : Coool.
Laboosh: I’d die for you first.
Klavir: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Chuckles , taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.
Chuckles : Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.
*The squad is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs.*
Dandy: Get two more chairs!
Pyke: They can get their own chairs.
Rett: Make them fight for it.
Klavir: You only need one chair to beat them all with.
Chuckles : I would never be near children.
Pyke: you're a clown-
Laboosh: Kill two.
Rett: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.
Klavir, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!
Klavir: What is wrong with you?
Chuckles : Loaded question. Elaborate.
Pyke: What’s the status up here?
Klavir: Fucked up, about to die, Chuckles ’s a nerd. The usual.