Levi X You - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

SOBBINGGGG

Left Behind Pt. 2

<<< Part One

Part Three >>>

Levi x FemReader

Established Relationship

Concept: You're gravely injured during an expedition that goes wrong, and in the confusion you're abandoned in Titan territory.

Pt. 2 Summary: Realizing you're not among the survivors from the expedition, not even lost in the crowd of injured soldiers, Levi feels the world closing in on him. Your whole squad is missing, except for one. Part of him refuses to believe it, just waiting for you to stumble through the gates of Wall Rose on the back of Bully with a sheepish grin and a wild hyperbolic story of why you're later than everyone else.

Warnings: Angst, cursing, Levi's explosive anger, violence, dead and injured bodies, Titans, descriptive panic attack, small references to Furlan, Isabel, and Levi's mom (spoilers if you haven't seen the OVA's or gotten to Levi's backstory), a little bit of Erwin hate (nothing malicious, but the mission always comes first with this guy)

A/N: I've gotten a ton of love and support from Part One, so thank you to all my readers! Here's Part Two, I hope I do Levi justice because the fact that he's in a relationship like this at all will make him a little OOC. Thanks for reading!

-----

Levi has never been one to trust easily. He trusts Erwin's vision and the steps he's willing to take to get there. He trusts Hange's insanity and brilliance to navigate the hundreds of questions of their simultaneously far too small and far too large world, not that he'd ever tell them. He'd be a fool not to trust Mike's nose. Slowly but surely, he's learned to trust his squad, with no small amount of help from you.

You. He trusts you implicitly. With his life, his thoughts and frustrations and memories. With his heart.

He trusts your skills, having facilitated your extra training himself. He trusts the squad you hand-picked yourself as much as he trusts his own. The ring, slightly too small for his own hand, that rests against his chest reminds Levi of your promise to each other.

He trusts you to always come back to him.

Which is why he doesn't spare a thought to you or your squad during the chaos of the expedition's retreat. He can't afford the distraction, even if he'd like nothing more than to be by your side. The torrential rain already has him scattered enough, images of decapitated ginger heads and split torsos threatening the corner of his vision, so he refuses to fall into the trap of worry. Even when something heavy settles in his gut, something like a warning.

Levi grits his teeth. He needs to fucking focus if he wants to get his people out of this alive. "We need to stay close!" He has to yell over the thundering of the rain. Or, at least, what he hopes is rain and not footsteps. "Anyone who gets separated is fucked! Stay the course and keep an ear out for Titans! They'll come out of nowhere, if you're seeing one in this mess, it's already too late!"

"Yes Captain!"

He follows the path set out by Erwin's flare, and he spares himself a moment to hope you saw the blue smoke from your position.

Hours pass before they happen upon some of the other squads from the expedition, though Levi's unsure if their reduced numbers are because of a high casualty count or because some are still lost in the confusion of the storm. Probably both. He doesn't see your squad and tries not to let the weight in his gut sink further. Just because he can't see you, doesn't mean you're not there, or even just near; he knows you two may not have a chance to reunite until you're back at headquarters. It's happened before.

After a quick head count of his squad to make sure they all kept close, Levi nods to himself and urges his horse further forward beside Erwin. "Any idea how many we lost?"

"Not yet, but it's starting to look like nearly a third if we can't regroup as many as possible between here and Rose." Erwin gives him a long look that shouldn't scare him but has dread pooling in his throat regardless. "I need you focused, Levi."

Levi scoffs, already steering his horse back into formation. "I always am." He's glad Erwin doesn't comment on the way his eyes follow each squad, scanning their faces.

A small shot of relief hits his chest when he spots a few of his fellow veterans, though the eye contact he makes with Mike has his heckles rising despite himself. Next to the bloodhound in human form rides Hange, and the sight of them has Levi's brow furrowing. There's a cadet sitting behind them, arms latched tight around their torso and face pressed between their shoulder blades obscuring any recognizable features not already hidden by the bulk and hood of the signature green cloak every Scout wears. He notes absentmindedly that whoever it is, they're too tall to be you.

He doesn't like feeling suspicious of the people he calls friends - which they are, even if he gripes about it all the time - but something in the way Hange is clearly avoiding his gaze has the very familiar, and very unwelcome, feeling of doubt bubbling under his skin.

Levi tries not to dwell on the reminder that Hange's squad had been closest to yours in the formation before it all fell apart.

It takes until what they all assume is the end of the day of nonstop riding to reach the gates of Wall Rose. Time is hard to gage amidst a monsoon, but the intense ache in his thighs and back tell enough about how long they've been on horseback. They manage to collect more survivors along the way, most of them injured in some way, others just stranded without a horse. Petra and Eld are both riding with extra passengers now. The formation can't afford the time or extra weight it would cost them to account for the dead bodies they pass, but Levi can't help himself from looking for something familiar in every dismembered limb or gutted body in his range of sight. He's not sure if he wants to find what he's looking for.

The process of filtering everyone through the gate seems slower and more tedious than it ever has before. Levi can feel a restless energy surging beneath the surface, only outwardly notable in the way he grips the reins, white knuckled and biting into the skin of his palms. His teeth latch onto the soft flesh of his cheeks until his mouth tastes metallic.

Ever the good soldier, he'll wait. But the ring of silver dangling by his heart feels especially cold.

When they reach headquarters, the rain has turned to snow. The world is dark without the sun, whether it's set or it's hidden by the weather is difficult to tell, but his pocket watch tells him its most likely the former. His grip tightens around the watch, a gift from you a year after he was forced into the Survey Corps, back when you were just crossing the threshold from begrudging comrades into something resembling friends. A joke about his obsessive punctuality, while you were always exactly three minutes late, down to the second. He was convinced you were doing it on purpose until he realized you set the watch back three minutes just to mess with him.

And now you're something worth far more to him than the irreplaceable friend you used to be, and he can't shake the wrongness that's been following him for hours.

The watch falls safely into his pocket. His fingers pop as they flex at his sides, he feels especially weak as he stomps towards his so-called friends that he knows, he knows, are hiding something from him. Something to do with you. It makes his insides curdle.

"Hange!" Levi's voice is guttural, cracking from the recesses of his throat. His hair is plastered to his forehead from the rain and his sweat and a fear he doesn't wasn't to acknowledge. The squad leader jumps at his call, body shifting to shield the cadet behind them. Mike places a steadying hand on their shoulder, the sight of which has Levi's lip curling unpleasantly, as if they aren't the ones with the power to completely destroy him right now.

"Levi, wait a minute, just - "

"Who the fuck is that?" It takes more focus than he'd like to admit to keep his hand steady when he points at the huddled mess behind Hange.

Hange jitters on their heals, looking so unsure and heartbroken that it has Levi's lungs clawing their way to his throat. "It's - "

"Cadet Theodora Oswin."

Levi glares over his shoulder at his Commander and sneers at the far too professional curve to Erwin's oversized brow. But he knows that name, remembers your rants about the potential behind that name, remembers squeezing your hand and cracking quips about you celebrating that name joining your ranks. It has to just be a name now because there's no way, absolutely now way, that the sniveling bad omen of a soldier shaking in front of him could be attached to that name. Not when you aren't here to praise that name.

He blinks away the snowflakes that catch in his eyelashes.

"What happened?" That's his voice asking somehow. He wonders where he found the strength to move his jaw when he can't even seem to breathe. No one says anything and something hot burns in his throat at the silence. "What the fuck happened out there?! Where is she?!"

He can't stand the looks they're giving him, full of pity and remorse and making him feel small like he should understand but he doesn't. Just tell him, just fucking say it, get it over with and tear him apart from the inside out, dammit just SAY IT -

"Um, C-Captain Levi, sir." No part of him moves except his eyes when he looks toward trembling little Theodora Oswin. She swallows and does a sloppy salute with the wrong hand that has his jaw clicking from how tight he clenches it. "I was, um, was newly as-assigned to Squad Lead- "

"I know," he cuts her off, turning fully toward the girl. Because she is just a girl, barely out of training and with baby fat still rounding her cheeks. Tall for her age, maybe, but certainly not old enough for this fight. Levi had joked to you once that you may have seen something of a little sister in this cadet and that's why you wanted her on your squad. To protect her. You had laughed and said a shy 'maybe' that had him wondering if sister was the right word for how you felt. His chest twists. "Mission report."

"W-what?"

"Mission report, Cadet Oswin. What happened to your squad?" The strain in his voice is palpable, thickening the tension around him like a rubber band about to snap.

"W-we...there were - I, um - "

"I don't have time for this Cadet. Where's Cross? Lepton, Mitchell? Did any of them make it back?" He looks to Hange at this question, desperation coming across as a seething rage that he's more familiar with than the terror licking at his throat. It's almost comforting, that rage he had once known so intimately.

"Maybe they wandered in among the injured, but we're not sure," Hange eventually says, clearly debating between acting as a barrier between him and the cadet or trying to comfort Levi as he teeters on an edge he's not sure he could catch himself from as he topples over.

"We were separated!" Oswin says, or rather shouts, a flush rising to her cheeks as her four superiors turn to her. "We, the Squad Leader and I, um - there were three...they were so big, and the rain, then it was just us and - and I was thrown from my horse by another one of those, those things and then the Squad Leader, she...and then I was running, and it started chasing me, and I was going to die - "

Hange quickly grips her shoulder, shaking her slightly out of her hysteria. "That's when I found her. Picked her up and got out of there as fast as we could."

Levi rolls the information around his tongue, a bitter taste scratching against his gums. It's not real yet, nothing is real because no one has actually fucking said it yet. He takes one careful step forward that has everyone tensing. "I'm going to ask one more time," he annunciates, each word punctuated by a flex in his jaw. "What happened to your Squad Leader?"

Oswin looks back at Hange as if searching for permission, and something in Levi just snaps. Before he realizes he moved, his hands fist the collar of her uniform pulling her down to his height with a snarl baring his teeth. "Just fucking tell me! Where is she?! Fucking SAY IT!"

"C-crushed! She - I saw...she was crushed!" A sob catches in her throat, her whole body shaking in his grip.

"You saw it happen? You saw her go down?" Now eerily soft, Levi can barely get the words past his lips.

Oswin nods through her sniffling, eyes clenched shut. "Y-yes, yes sir."

When he releases her, she drops to the ground like dead weight, dissolving into gut wrenching cries that he can't even hear passed the ringing in his ears.

"You knew, right? All three of you?" He can't even look at them.

Hange clears their throat, daring a step closer to Levi that has him stiffening like a cornered animal. "N-not exactly, not for sure. Levi, you have to understand - "

"You going back for her wasn't a gamble I was willing to take," Erwin's declaration sets Levi's teeth on edge. "We couldn't risk it."

"Couldn't risk 'Humanity's Strongest' going back to rescue one of the greatest soldiers this regiment has ever seen! Shit Erwin, she isn't one of your pawns!"

"You're right, she wasn't." The only thing holding Levi back from the inferno raging in his chest is the weight of a loss he's not willing to acknowledge. Not here, not in the open, not where the world can see him fall. "But she was a distraction."

Levi feels himself nodding, wondering why he's even surprised at this point. He makes a move towards headquarters, wanting to escape, wanting find a way out, a way to you, but he stops. Shoulder to shoulder with his Commander. "I trust you with my life, I can confidently say I always will," he pauses, eyes slowly making contact with Erwin's, "but, I should never have trusted you with hers."

"Levi - "

"Fuck off Hange." There's no bite to his voice, just a hollowness that he hasn't felt since he was a child, too small and too scared to understand why his mother was so still.

-----

He contemplates going to the infirmary, not because he's hurt - at least not any kind of hurt that a team of medics could wrap in bandages - but because there's a defiant spark of hope that he can't bring himself to extinguish. Your squad could be there, you could be there, injured, maybe unrecognizable, but alive. He's not ready to let go of that hope.

Instead, Levi finds himself in his office with no memory of how he got there. He stands in front of the door to your shared quarters, adjacent to his desk piled with paperwork he can't even look at without feeling nauseous. The doorknob is mocking him.

Walking into the room leaves Levi breathless. He picks out all the pieces of you in a space that used to just be his. A space that used to be empty and cold.

There's the cushioned armchair in the corner that you insisted on because you demanded a comfy spot to write and read that wasn't the stiff couch in his office. He only agreed to the garish blue piece of furniture when you promised to position it in view of his desk when the bedroom door is open. The throw blanket draped across the back of the chair, hand-knitted in the most mismatched color combinations he could come up with, was actually a sort of housewarming gift from Hange when you officially moved into his quarters.

You love curling up in that chair, blanket snug around your shoulders, journal resting on your knees as you vigorously write or doodle or whatever it is you do in your collection of journals. He loves watching you comfortable and warm in the same space as him.

That very collection holds an entire shelf all their own in the bookcase, dating back to before you even joined the military. The only pages he's ever read are the ones you share with him. Those books are your safe space, your peace. Seeing their spines line the shelf makes his heart ache. Your most recent journal - he quickly banishes the thought that it's your last - sits on the nightstand, brass fountain pen resting on top ready to be used for your next entry. A matching pen lays on his stacks of paperwork.

There's a half-drunk glass of water next to the book.

So many pieces of you fill this space, fill the best parts of his life, but now it's cold.

You have a pillow on the bed specifically designated as your hugging pillow, used only when you're left alone in bed late into the night. Those nights happened far too often, he realizes as he's about to brush his fingers on the pillow.

There's blood and dirt under his nails. Levi pulls away like he's been burned, horrified at the thought of tarnishing any part of you. He stumbles back into the bathroom to scrub away at his hands. The water runs a sickly pink color, and his breath catches at the sight of your toothbrush in a cup on the counter. He doesn't realize tears are trailing down his cheeks, leaving paths in the dirt and dripping from his chin down the curve of his neck.

His eyes flick up to the mirror, and everything seems to freeze. Your name rasps from between his lips, a desperate keening sound following soon after that makes him feel infantile.

"Where are you? Why haven't you - " his voice catches, suddenly clawing at his throat for that silver chain. The ring is small, meant for your hand. He wants too see it on your hand. He settles for pressing the metal to his lips. "Why haven't you come back to me?"

Levi falls to his knees, black spots dancing in his vision that forces a breath into his burning lungs. And then he's only breathing in and in and in. His tongue feels too big for his mouth, throat drying out. He hunches over, nails digging into his throat and chest as he tries to remember how breathing works, how living works, but he can't because you're not here.

"Not here. Not here. Not HERE!" He chokes, feeling dizzy, feeling useless, feeling far too alone. Air rushes passed whatever is lodged in his throat keeping him from breathing. "You went somewhere," your name slips like a prayer from his lips. "You went away...somewhere I can't follow."

He presses his forehead against the cold tile of the floor, fingers digging into his scalp. "But I want to!" Levi cries, swallowing the scream threatening to shatter his teeth. His voice cracks, splitting into a broken whisper. "Come back to me. Please."

-----

When he finally showers, it's after a number of hours curled up on the bathroom floor that he doesn't bother to count. Levi washes with your soap instead of his own, the scent soft and slightly floral and you. It's as painful as it is calming to wrap himself in something so distinctly you.

He dries and dresses without much thought, hesitating at the threshold of the bathroom when he's confronted once again by the bed. But in this moment, Levi embraces that part of himself that's scared out of his mind of being in that bed alone, and he turns to your chair instead. He sits stiff and proper, back ramrod straight like someone will scold him for stealing or skipping curfew or missing you. He has a perfect view of his desk from this spot, and he wonders how often you watch him work. Watched. The tense has his eyes fogging despite himself.

The room is so silent and still, Levi worries that if he blinks everything will shatter around him. The pocket watch ticks deafeningly in his pocket. He sighs, moving to place the watch on the nightstand when his hand slips and your journal slides to the ground. The fountain pen goes flying, the clatter so jarring he's unable to mask his panic, and -

And an envelope falls from the pages of the book. An envelope with your scrawling neat script spelling out his name. He freezes mid-frantic kneel when he spots the slanted penmanship as familiar to him as his own more looping cursive.

Levi

If he reads it, he's pretty sure he'll throw up. He picks it up anyway and traces the letters of his name with a trembling index finger. Levi's desperate suddenly to know your words, to read them and feel you in them and maybe even hear you if he listens hard enough. He tears open the letter and blinks.

I love you more than anything in this world.

Sorry, I know that's not proper form but, well, I needed to get that out first. I need you to know that before anything else.

I love you, Levi.

Okay right, lettering technique, let's try again.

He pauses there, unsure if he should keep going, unsure if he can. But they're your words, maybe your last words. His eyes drop to the page again.

My Dearest Levi, (little corny? I think so)

I write one of these letters the night before every expedition as a sort of, I don't know, precaution I guess? Sometimes I wonder if I'm tempting fate, getting my goodbyes out in the open like this before anything's happened. Could be bad luck, but I can't stand the thought of breaking my promise, of not coming back to you, without leaving you with an honest goodbye. We don't get very many goodbyes in our line of work. You deserve one, for once, even if the thought of having to be the one who gives it to you withers in my heart like poison.

You've always thought me just a tad dramatic. Hyperbolic, I think you once called me. I wear the moniker like a badge of honor. I always manage a laugh from you somehow, or as much of a laugh as you can share with me. I treasure them all.

It's a euphoric feeling when we come home, settle in with warm cups of tea after much needed showers, and I can sneak away under the guise of paperwork to burn whatever letter I wrote before that expedition. Watching the flame chip away at whatever farewells I managed to write without falling into despair.

If you're reading this, I never got the chance.

I'm sorry Levi, for breaking our promise, for leaving you. Know that whatever happened, whatever took me from you, I did everything I could to come back to you. It just...wasn't enough this time. I can only hope you didn't have to watch.

I'm going to ask you to do something really hard for me okay? Well, actually two things. First, I want you to take a deep breath. Right now, breathe in as deep as you can, feel it in your chest, and let it go slowly.

Levi does as he's told, albeit shakily. His face feels warm and wet and stings with his sorrow.

Okay second, and this is the big one, please don't shut out the others. Hange, Erwin, Mike. Petra, Eld, Oluo, Gunther. You need people, Levi, whether you want to admit it or not. They'll take care of you.

And I guess I have a third request, it came to me just now as I watch you frustrate over your paperwork, shuffling the flyers all around. Be patient with yourself. You deserve time and kindness and understanding.

If I keep going, I'll start crying and I'm not quite ready for you to know about these letters yet. So, I guess now is the hard part.

Goodbye, Levi. I loved you in this life, I'll love you in the next, and every one after that.

His thumb presses into the dried ink of your signature, mouthing a declaration of love that goes unheard. Little wet splotches now litter the page. He can't bring himself to say goodbye, not yet. But, at least he has yours for when it feels right to accept it. Levi doubts that time will ever come.

That night, Levi sleeps in your chair, your letter tucked back into the pages of your journal, the book cradled gently against his chest.

-----

The next morning, he goes to the infirmary. The rest of your squad is unaccounted for, and so are you.

He feels his heart crack a little more.

dating levi ackerman headcanons

dude i shamelessly had a huge phase for him but it’s okay bc now i have tumblr content

implied commander/higher up reader;

CW: spoiler from levi’s ova (no regrets), hits of trauma and death (in levi’s life).

enjoyyyy gn! reader

before dating, he fell in love very gradually. he probably didn’t notice at first.

he was probably in denial about his feelings too

hange teased him about his crush, and he told them to shut up bc “he doesn’t know what they’re talking about”

hange def made a bet with erwin on how long it’d take you two to date

OKAY NOW TO THE NITTY GRITTY 😩 (what even is nitty gritty???)

hange is literally your guys’ biggest shipper. they go around yelling MY SHIP FINALLY SAILED while hugging you two for the first two weeks they find out.

they always ask, “when will i get mini levis and y/ns??”

levi: *hits them*

BUT if you guys did want to keep it on the down low, i feel like they’d keep it to themselves + moblit/erwin. and then let it slip one day by accident 💀

you guys are the cadets’ parents pls.

some of them accidentally called you their parent once

is not a pda person. he loves you, but he does hold a reputation and also thinks affection is more of a “behind the doors” things. but he does give occasional head pats and a forehead kiss when no one is looking.

in private he’ll give into your touches and kisses tho bc let’s be honest, he’s touch starved af.

he’ll be stiff with the affection and not be the one to initiate at first, but over time he’ll warm up to it and start initiating.

he loves when you play with his hair tho. it’s super relaxing to him. AND MASSAGES OMG PLS MASSAGE HIM WHILE HE DOES WORK HE’LL TELEPATHICALLY THANK YOU SM.

loudly “tchs” if you stop as a hint to keep doing what you’re doing.

he isn’t very vocal so you gotta read the man real well. ie: he doesn’t say when he wants attention or directly ask for something.

work “sleepovers”. you guys will do work in each other’s offices and end up falling asleep on the desk.

you’re the only one who can make tea the way he likes 😛😛

you guys eat lunch together/have lunch dates :,)

temple kisser 🤚🏼🤚🏼

holding you extra close when either of you get nightmares to remind each other you two are together.

speaking of nightmares, you comfort each other during the early hours of the morning.

he’s not a big sharer and he’d open up once in a while. not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s just v personal.

if you’re a messy person he’d help you clean your room/office and reprimand you for being messy.

if you’re a clean/tidy person, he’ll compliment your cleaning every now and then.

often thinks about how farlan and isabel would’ve loved you :,(

ofc he’s overprotective, considering the amount of people he’d lost and the childhood he went through. he doesn’t want you to leave him like everyone else in his life did.

he’d make sure you’re near him during missions and watch you v closely.

he needs assurance at times esp with everything that has happened to him.

shows love through acts of service

he cares for you sm will do anything to make sure you’re okay and healthy (but is so tsundere about it)

like he’ll be super aggressive with it but it’s just how he is. it’s all out of love and care 😌

aot masterlist

“What’s that for?” Levi’s brow furrows as he watches you swirl your teaspoon in the little jar before you, only to pull it back with long, syrupy strands drizzling from the end. The candlelight catches in the flow: shiny and translucent as it drips down slowly to pool back in its jar again.

“It’s honey,” you explain with a light laugh, dipping the spoon down to repeat the same satisfying motion again.

“Well, what’s it made of?” The man’s distrust is plain in his tone, his eyes narrowing as he glares at the indulgence that you’d picked up on a visit into town earlier that day.

“It comes from bees,” you say, angling the spoon over the steaming cup of tea to your left—Levi's cup—to which you're intent on adding a teaspoon's worth of honey. But you suddenly find your effort halted— Levi’s hand wrapped firmly around your wrist, keeping it frozen in place as another long rivulet of the viscous, amber syrup sinks back into the open jar below.

You peek at Levi with a curious gaze, your head tilting ever so slightly to the side in confusion.

His lips part.

“It’s made of bees?” 

He sounds positively horrified. 

You almost snort at the revolted look on his face, shaking your head and trying not to get distracted by how easily his large, calloused hand circles the circumference of your wrist. 

“No, no.” You swallow down the laugh you feel bubbling from your stomach up to your throat, knowing it will only irritate him more if you let it free. “It’s made by bees—harvested from their hives. It’s sweet.”

“Why would I want my tea to taste sweet?” he asks gruffly, as though the suggestion is the most preposterous thing he’s ever heard. “I want my tea to taste like tea.”

“But it’s nice.” You make an earnest attempt to reason with him, a lightly teasing smile playing at the corners of your mouth which you fight uselessly to keep at bay.

“It sounds repulsive.”

This time, you really can’t suppress your laughter at his staunchly uncooperative tone.

You attempt to pry your hand from his grip, pressing against his hold to lean closer to the still-steaming cup of tea waiting for your spoon, but his grip refuses to slacken even through your efforts. His grasp is firm and unyielding, but not painful—and is still far from the strength you know he’s capable of.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t falter.

Instead, he tilts your hand upwards in response to your struggle, and you watch helplessly as the honey begins to inch down the neck of the spoon—creeping closer to your fingertips with every passing second.

“It’s a treat,” you argue with him petulantly while still endeavouring to free your hand, twisting it this way and that in his hold, though the jostling serves only to make the honey drip towards your fingers faster.

“It’s unnecessary, and frankly an insult to the tea,” he bites back with an equal insistence, his tone verging more and more towards genuine offence on the tea’s behalf with every syllable. 

Finally, inevitably, you feel the honey meet the tips of your fingers: a sticky, unpleasant sensation. You stop fighting, dropping the spoon back into the jar of honey with a plop, and watch how the edges of the utensil sink into the thick liquid as though being slowly swallowed whole.

“You made a mess,” he chides you with a familiar reproachful tch.

He watches as you survey the residue left on your skin, his upper lip curling back in distaste when you spread your fingers to let the viscid strands stretch and break between them.

“Besides, if I wanted something sweet I—mmph!” Levi’s impending lecture is cut short as your fingers press against his mouth, your index and middle digit slipping unbidden between his lips as they part in speech. Thoroughly blindsided by the intrusion, his jaw goes slack—allowing you to run the pads of your sticky fingers over the surface of his warm, wet tongue. 

You watch raptly as his startled eyes never stray from yours—not as you slowly withdraw your fingers, running them gently over his pink lips, nor when you lift your hand towards yourself and slide the very fingers that had just been in his mouth into your own. Only once you’re satisfied that no lingering traces of the honey remain on your skin do you pull your fingers back, smacking your lips together to savour the pleasant, saccharine taste left behind.

“Hm,” you hum thoughtfully, finally breaking your prolonged eye-contact to inspect the tips of your fingers for anything you may have missed. “Tastes sweet.”

“You’re disgusting,” Levi chokes out an entirely unconvincing jab, clearing his throat roughly. 

You glance back towards his face, making absolutely no effort to conceal your provocative grin. You raise your hand to your lips once more, tongue flicking out to catch the last bit of honey you’d overlooked. His eyes follow your every movement with a sort of spellbound attention.

“And you’re blushing, Captain.”

When your bestfriend and her bf adopts you and there overprotective:

You not giving a shit bc you have someone who finally whats you: la la la la <3

Walking down the streets with Levi.

Levi's mind: Ugh, no, she's too close to the road. What if a cart crashes? I will move her to the other side. But first, let's check... Yeah, okay, there's no citizen in the windows who might throw buckets. She's safe there. Damn, we're 10 minutes behind if we go this way, but the other route is too crowded, and she brought that purse—there may be pickpockets. Who are those people looking at her? I will stare back. Great, they moved. They know what's good for them. Ugh, what time is it? 12:10? We should hurry up; she gets hungry at 1:00 PM, and if she doesn't eat, she gets migraines. Let's switch to the other street; the next one has cobblestones, and she's wearing heels.

Y/n's mind: 💕🎶🎶 la la la la 🎶🎶💕

🤍🤍🤍

Ok but sex with postwar!Levi is so soft and so passionate, he wants to feel every part of you. His hands are gentle, he would caress every single inch of your skin. Levi likes to be able to see you when his cock is buried in your wet pussy, he loves the expression of pure pleasure on your face. "Cum for me darling, please." His kisses would be long and full of emotion.

Not to mention how sensitive he is, your mouth makes him feel like he is on cloud nine. "Fuck. F-fuck. Baby I'm gonna-" And he whines while cumming because it just feels so so good for him.

BEFORE THE RUMBLING!!

Eren x Reader

Mentions: pregnant, verbal abuse, angst.

Will have errors. 2:57am writing.

Minimal 18+

Minors don’t interact.

During the time the scouts were capturing Annie. You saw the destruction. The buildings falling, the awful sounds of people screaming. You saw it all at a distance. Your home was perfectly safe. You were lucky your side of town wasn’t destroyed. Not a single scratch.

Just because there wasn’t a scratch doesn’t mean you weren’t hurt. Your mother died that day. Only you and your father remained.

One day you were walking around taking in the damage titans do. Thinking :If it’s scary with only two titans…imagine what the scouts see outside the walls.

You tripped over some rubble landing on your stomach. Your dress definitely got stained. “Oh here let me help you.” A guy said helping you up. Your eyes widened. “It’s you..Eren Yeager…Titan.” You spoke backing away.

Eren saw your used to be clean cut dress. Your jewelry and purse. He’s never seen such a beautiful sight. His heart stopped for a second.

“ please don’t be alarmed. I only need a breather right now” he said. You relaxed. “ I’ve always wondered what it would be like beyond the walls…the scouts are brave. You’re discovering the answers people ask themselves.” You spoke sitting down with him at a nearby bench. “ the answers are difficult to find. It can drive you insane. I’m not giving up.” He replied looking up to the stars.

You looked over at him smiling softly. You stared at his beautiful features. His nice sharp jawline. His lips. His eyes. You’re blushing.

“ I’m Y/n. It’s very nice to meet you Eren.” He chuckled, “Yeah nice to meet you too.” “ Eren. Let’s go.” a girl said grabbing his arm. She must like him. Maybe that’s his girlfriend? “ Mikasa. I’m having a conversation with someone.” He said taking her arm off him. “I umm..if you really need to go I understand.” You said. “ We don’t have the luxury to have time off like you and your people.” She said rudely. You frowned. She’s right.

You live a comfortable life. You have a nice 2 story house. Fancy clothing and accessories. Wonderful meals everyday. You have luxury other people don’t have. All that makes you grateful for what you have. The situation was definitely awkward as hell.

“ Hey we can meet again. Tomorrow at midnight.” He proposed. You knew you shouldn’t be doing this. Making friends with people think is a criminal but you couldn’t help it. Something inside you just exploded.“ O-okay yeah definitely. We can meet here.” You replied standing up from the bench fixing your dress.“ Have a nice night lady y/n.” He said waving goodbye. “Bye Eren.” You said making your way home. Your hair blew from the slightly wind. You were feeling something you’ve never felt before. You were charmed by his kindness and beauty.

You’ve been meeting Eren a lot the next couple months. Sometimes you’d sneak out of town. Especially when your dad was working. You felt like a total rebel. There was a time where Eren, Armin and Mikasa needed hiding. You allowed them to take shelter at your house. You couldn’t believe you allowed it but you had many moments with them.

“ Is there really such places?” You asked Armin. Very curious. “ yes and one day we can get to see it. Isn’t it exciting. A huge ocean. Hot red mountains. Land of only sand for miles.” He replied. You were amazed by his knowledge. You looked out the window. “ it is exciting. I wish I could tell others here…but they’d think I’m crazy. All they know is titans roam around all the time waiting to kill.” You replied with a sigh afterwards. You wished maybe in your next life you’d be able to see everything Armin described to you.

As nightfall came and the night was dark and silent. Eren came upstairs from the cellar.

“ You’re so beautiful.” Eren spoke as he saw you undress from your beautiful long blue dress. You two got carried away. Allowing lust to take full control. You were both on your bed. You gave yourself to him completely. He gave himself to you. It was a night of pure bliss.

“ s-so good y/n” he groaned hiding his face in your neck. Your body trembled with pleasure. “Eren I feel something” you spoke and suddenly moaned out loudly. “ yeah my love? Feels good doesn’t it.” He chuckled thrusting harder. You can hear the squelching and the slapping of skin. Your body was overflowing with pleasure. You felt him deep inside you. Eren reached your special spot. “ y-yes a~ah. Uhh e-eren. There. Just like that.” You said scratching his back. He hissed but continued. You both were losing your minds. Lust overtook your minds. Moans and groans bounced off the walls. The room smelled of sex. Your bodies were sweaty. You didn’t care who was hearing. You were consumed by the pleasure.“ E-Eren. I love you. I- close..” you said and released. “ I love you y/n” he groaned releasing his thick white cum in you. You milked him perfectly. Every last drop. After you both were at a clear state of mine. You both realized what you’ve done. “ I- okay…maybe there’s not a high possibility?” He said. “Are you kidding?” You replied with a dumbfounded look on your face.

Both of you were in a bad situation. You were both young. 17. You’d be wanted gone. It’s improper for a lady to be pregnant without a husband. No one besides his childhood friends knew you were dating.

“Eren. What are we going to do?” You asked as he cleaned you up. “I can’t drag you into the scouts life. You’re the safest here.” He replied getting the bath ready. “ No I’m not. I’m single to everyone here. I can’t just suddenly be pregnant without being married. Gosh. My father is going to kill me. I’ll be the fucking scandal of the year.” You said almost crying. You held your tears back. Dominating your feelings. “ it doesn’t matter. The baby is important. More than people’s stupid opinions.” He replied.

3 months passed and you couldn’t hide your pregnancy anymore. You finally decided to confess to your father about the entire situation.

“ I became friends with Eren Yeager. We fell in love and I sheltered him and his friends the week you were out of town. Things got heated and now I’m here 3 months pregnant.” You said quickly and almost out of breath. Your father took awhile to process the entire thing. “ from now on you’re not allowed to leave this house. You’re a dirty woman without a husband. Knocked up by a criminal. I’ll figure things out for you.” He said. You didn’t cry of course. You saw this coming.

Weeks passed. Armin and Mikasa always brought eren to you when they weren’t busy. “ 4 months. That’s exciting. I know things are very rough right now but we’ve got this.” Eren spoke trying to be optimistic. You knew this was a shit situation. He was at risk everyday. You weren’t surprised if he died the next day. You all heard the door opening downstairs. “ Eren we have to go.” Mikasa spoke urgently. “ I love you y/n. I love you so much. Our baby too.” He said hugging you. “I love you too.” You said crying hugging him tight. “ Eren hurry.” Armin said. “y/n? Sweetheart? You there?” Your father asked knocking on your door. You said your goodbyes. “ yeah dad come in” you said wiping your tears. As he walked in. “ I want you to meet someone.” He said. You made your way downstairs with him entering the living room. “Y/n this is William Jones. He’s taken an interest in you. He is aware of your situation.” Your father said. “ Hello lady y/n I’m Mr. Jones. It’s nice meeting you.” He said kissing your hand. “ it’s nice to meet you as well Mr. Jones. I do have a question. Why have you taken an interest in me?” You asked sitting down carefully. “ You’ve always known men desire you. You’re young, beautiful, healthy. Overall perfect. You’d make a great wife. I’m wealthy. I’m 26. I need to marry already and have an heir to my business.” He replied. You did have the skills of a wife. You cook, clean and you care.

You married William Jones. The wedding was beautiful. Your dress was beautiful. It brought out your beauty. Your invites were so excited for you. There was one flaw. The person you wanted to marry was Eren. “ y/n do you take William Jones as your husband? To love and to hold.?” This question made you cry. You pretended it was Eren holding your hands and standing in front of you. “yes. I do.” You stated. You imagined Eren was the one putting the ring on you. The one who kissed you. You didn’t allow the sadness completely take you. You did enjoy dancing and eating cake.

Even after the wedding there were days Eren would visit. He hated the fact that you’re married to someone else. He knew it was for the best. He knew you’d be in good hands. That you’ll have a good home and a good life. He loves you. He always says that when greeting and leaving you.

“It’s a baby boy.” Your doctor said. You smiled and suddenly your vision blurred. Birthing was hard. When you woke up. William was by your side holding the baby. “ my baby boy.” You said sitting up carefully. “ what are you naming him?” He asked handing him to you. You held him in your arms. He’s so precious. “ Eren his name will be Eren.” You said happily. The baby cried. You pecked his head softly. “ shh shh my love. It’s okay.” You comforted him. He stopped crying. He knew he was in his mother’s arms.

Months passed and Eren would visit. In secret. “I love you buddy. I’m sorry I can’t be with you and momma everyday. I’m happy I get to see you grow. You’re so strong and healthy.” Eren said to his son. You smiled. “He looks like you very handsome.” You said allowing him to carry baby eren. “ that’s our son. He’ll have girls crushing on him left and right. He’ll be a gentleman. Treat women with respect. He’ll be strong and honest. Very intelligent and hardworking.” He replied.

Years passed. Baby Eren is 2 years old now. Some nights Eren would come over only to visit his son in the middle of night without you knowing. “ Sasha is such a fun girl. She’s hungry 24/7. She always makes the group laugh with her silliness. When she dies things will be different.Oh and then there’s Levi. He’s the exact opposite. Very grouchy. Works us to the bone everyday but he has a nice side. Although he doesn’t show it much I know he cares. Armin..he’s my best friend. I know none of us would be alive if it weren’t for him. He’s very intelligent. He’s shy. It’s cute. He keeps me grounded. Mikasa..she’s always behind me. On my ass. Shes also kept me alive. I cherish them so much. They’re my family. Then there’s the commanders. Crazy but smart. Erwin is a monster. Risks a lot of things. Comes up with amazing plans. They almost always work. He’ll die in the near future and the Hange will commander. Once she dies it will be Armin. Hange is strange. She’s not only a scout but a scientist. She is in love with studying titans. She loves studying on how I heal fast and how I trigger my power. Both commanders have all my respect. Captain Levi too. Jean and Connie. Those crazy fuckers. Together they’re dumb and dumber. You’ll have fun days with them. Everyone I care about are good people. They all don’t give up. They all have strong hearts.” Eren said. He told him many moments he’s had with his friends.

“ My little Eren. Don’t forget I love you. You must take care of your momma when you grow up. I love you very much. I’m sorry I won’t be able to be here for you both. I’m sorry for all the horrible things I’ve done and the ones I will commit.” Eren spoke to him. Tears slipped from his face onto the baby’s clothes . “W-what’s going to happen eren?” You asked. You felt something in your stomach. You felt nauseous. “ E-Eren tell me.” You said crying. “ y/n I love you. I promise you the world will change. Titans won’t be something to be worried about anymore. You’ll have freedom.I have to go but remember all the moments in time we’ve had together. I’m in love with you. Thank you..for birthing our son.” He spoke and kissed you afterwards. “ I’m in love with the you too.”

You cried your heart out for days. You knew he was never coming back. William finally knew why.

“ You really love him?” He asked you carrying eren. “Yes and he’ll always hold a special place in my heart.” You replied looking at baby Eren. His full name Eren Yeager Jones. You didn’t mind Jones. After all you are married to William. “ I know I’m not him but I’ve always promised you a good life. I’ve kept my promise and I always will. You’re my wife. Yes I did it out of interest but..I’ve grown to love you. You’re smart, stubborn and genuine. Little things you do made me fall for you. I’ll always treasure you and baby Eren. He’s not my son by blood but he is by heart.” William said. It made you burst into tears.

“Armin you have to promise me you’ll visit her and baby Eren often with Mikasa as well. You 4 are the most important people in my life. I love you all. I’m sorry for all the horrores I’ve committed.” Eren said to Armin. “ We committed them together. I promise I’ll visit them. How could I not.” He replied.

3 years have passed.

“ I finally get to meet Eren.” Levi spoke. The 5 yr old stood beside you. Levi stayed silent as he stared at your son. “ Happy Birthday Eren!” Jean said setting his present on the table.

Ever since baby Eren was born. His father spoke about his friends to him. Told him stories about the good times he’s had. Baby Eren thought hard.

“Momma that Levi.” He stated waving Hi to him. Your looked down at him. “ how do you know?” You asked. “ Dada told me about his friends. He said Levi was grouchy but has a nice side.” He sat on the chair. “Dada said friend Sasha loved food.” He continued.

Jean and Connie couldn’t help but tear up. They had lumps in throat. Everyone was confused and shocked on why and how he knows that.

“ What else did he say bud?” William said carrying him. “ that his commanders were crazy but very smart. That uncle Armin is shy. He said it’s cute.” He giggled. You pecked his cheek. “ Dada said he loves everyone.” You smiled. Eren did commit so many horrifying things. Murdered so many man women and children. He went about it the wrong way. He was aware of that. Regardless of all that he never stopped loving his friends and family.

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Eren happy Birthday to you.” They all sang. Baby Eren blew the candles out. His wish was so lovely.

“ what did you wish for kid?” Levi asked. “ I wished for a bike.” He lied. “ Well it came true.” Jean said pointing at the wrapped bike.

Eren’s true wish was that his friends and family stay happy and live long lives just like his dad wished too.

“ woah!” He exclaimed seeing his awesome blue and white bike as he unwrapped it. “ say thanks to Uncle Jean.” You said. “ thanks uncle Jean. Thanks everyone for my presents.” He thanked everyone with a blush on his face. He looked so much like Eren. His teal blue eyes. His long lashes and adorable nose. His brown hair. “Open mine next.” Armin said setting a box infront of him. Eren struggled to open it but eventually did. He looked around it. It had children’s books. Pencils journals for school. Most importantly.Photos . Eren picked up the frames and looked at the photos of a man. He knew it was his father. “ It’s Dada.” He said crying. “ Oh sweetie.” You carried him. Looking at the photos. It was Eren holding his baby boy close to him and one with the 3 of you. You looked over at Armin. “ You guys weren’t looking.” Was all he said. William rubbing your lower back towering over you and eren. “Eren you are so loved. You’re so special and precious to everyone here.” William spoke. “ I love everyone dada. You and mama and uncles and auntie too!” He said crying.

“ you jealous you didn’t have a kid with Eren?” Levi asked Mikasa. Teasing her. “ I’m still in love with Eren. He didnt feel the same. That doesn’t mean I’m jealous that I didn’t have a child with him. I’m glad to see a part of him is still in this world.” She replied. “Me too.” Levi replied.

Levi and Mikasa understood each other. Clearly.

As time passed by. Your family grew. “ one more?” William asked hugging you from behind as you cooked. “ Will. That would be our four one.” You replied smiling. “One more wouldn’t hurt.” He said pecking your cheek. Eren still holds a special place in your heart. You thought about progress in your life. You have a wonderful man by your side a beautiful son and a good life. Baby 2 came then 3. “ one more wouldn’t hurt. Let’s do it.” You replied finishing cooking. “ I love you y/n” William said. He set up the table. “Grandpa!!” Eren yelled running to him. They hugged. “ Dad just in time.” You said. “ you noticed the flowers in his hands. “ you’re coming with us?” You asked. Your father didn’t like Eren for leaving you. Although he had no choice. After lunch you were going to Eren’s grave. “ it’s about time. I shouldn’t be mad. He’s given me such a cute grandson” he said walking to the table with baby Eren. Your tears slipped. “ oh my love it’s okay.” William wipes your tears. You smiled. You’re happy. With your family. William served dinner. “ yum yum!” Baby Eren exclaimed.

You visited Eren twice a week with your family.

William, your kids, your father, Mikasa and Armin.

Erens birthday toys:

Family photos

Bicycle

Children’s stories

Journals

Pencils

Stuffed teddy bear

Clothes

Art book with watercolor paints

Toy cars

Sling shot

Animal cookie cutters.

A weird jumping thing Levi made.

Small trampoline.

Eren loved all his toys.

I think I gotta change my panties _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

𝕷𝖊𝖛𝖎 𝖝 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 (one-shot)

𝕭𝖊𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖊: 𝚄𝚗𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝙴𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

That should be him, he thought.

As his dark grey eyes landed on you and your fiancé slow dancing in the wedding hall, Levi couldn't clear the envious feeling that has been suffocating him for a while now. He, the one who has been your best friend, he, the one who has supported you through thick and thin, he the one who dried your tears whenever your lover would cancel your dates for work...Levi has always been the one who stood next to you through the hardest and difficult times.......only to be met with utter disappointment at the end... Was it worth it? Was fighting for your love all this time worth the tremendous pain he was inflicted with? Because at the end of the day, you would never be his to love. But all Levi ever wanted was for you to be happy; he only hoped to see you smile every day until the day you die. Even if your smiles and 'i love yous' were not meant for him, Levi wished you the best.

After finishing his glass of wine, he stood up, and with one final glance at you and Eren, he left. Loving you was a losing game that he was addicted to. A game that he was willing to bet all his fortune on even if the outcome would still be a failure. But Levi was sure of one thing: you were a choice with no regret.

Journal

This did not at all go where I thought it would, but it’s here. This is my first X Reader I’ve done so if you have some input, it would be greatly appreciated-

includes: Levi, Y/N

warnings: Mentions of dark thoughts

length: 2,535 words

"Cadet!" 

You were quick to glance over your shoulder, wondering how you've messed up this time. You were just about to leave the mess hall, so you were probably going to be scolded for being the last one out, or for not eating again. Levi always snapped about how he needs you at your best.

"You forgot this," the captain said, his stoney blue eyes narrowing as yours widened, "Or did you leave it on purpose?"

It was your journal, the one you were always buried in whenever you could be. You did leave it on purpose, hoping someone would find it and save you from yourself. Hoping that someone would notice all of the changes in your behavior, hoping someone would hear your silent screams. Yet, seeing that it was Levi fucking Ackerman who returned the journal? You wished you had kept suffering alone.

"And it has so many…" Levi hesitated, almost like he was trying to find the right words to string together. "So many horrific thoughts written inside of it."

You could practically feel how serious he was while he gripped your prized possession just a bit tighter. You couldn't handle the growing silence, so you broke it.

"I should know. It's mine, after all." He didn't find your joke very funny. 

Levi opened his mouth, picking his next words carefully, "What's going on with you? You haven't been yourself recently."

You mentally swore, fingers twitching at your side. Levi didn't fail to notice, making his abnormal concern grow.

"What do you mean, Captain? I'm perfectly fine." As much as you wished the forced chuckle in your voice would change his way of thinking, it didn't.

"I'm more than certain something is happening with you," his voice grew more pointed as he stared at you, "There's no point in trying to hide it. Just spit it out."

"Why would you even bother asking?" Your muttered question left your lips before you could stop it.

"I want to know because I care about you. That's something a lot of people can't say, so don't go off wasting my support," Levi's tone didn't change and you sucked in a much needed breath. 

You wearily watched him place the journal on one of the long tables in the room, the soft thud reminding you of how many hours have gone into fruitless attempts of venting out your pain.

"Stop being stubborn and tell me what's going on, cadet." He inched closer, and you stepped back in response, eyes darting to the table.

"Once again, Jean and Eren left their spots disgusting. Do you want me to clean up, or would you rather chew them out yourself?" You gave a tight smile, forcing yourself to look back at him.

"Don't change the subject," he growled, a strange blaze flaring up in his eyes. Levi noticed how you tensed and he sighed to calm himself. "The things that you wrote in that book," he started, never once looking away from you, "Those were some seriously dark thoughts, and if you honestly do feel that way, you need to talk about it. So, stop trying to be the coldhearted badass and let me know what's running through your mind."

He sounded like a parent trying to convince a child to admit they broke something. It was a bit frightening in all honesty. 

You didn't say anything, teeth digging painfully into your tongue so you would keep quiet. You had just now noticed you'd been staring at the wooden floorboards this whole time, and yet you didn't stop.

Levi noticed that you weren't going to contribute, so he did it himself.

"What are you afraid of? Do you think I'm going to be mad at you?" 

You could've kicked yourself when your panicked chuckle wormed its way into the one-sided conversation. 

"Look at me," he demanded. You didn't listen, a thick gulp being your only reaction. "Cadet, look at me." This time it came out as a snarl, and you obeyed out of pure fear. 

Levi shut his eyes for just a moment, a heavy sigh leaving him as he tried to compose himself again. You both knew that he wasn't great with feelings, but he was trying. 

"I'm not mad at you. You can tell me whatever you're going through and I'll listen. Don't ever be afraid to let someone know how you feel, that is the only way someone can understand you." You had to clench your jaw to keep a snarky remark from making the situation worse. "Stop hiding from people, stop holding on to these emotions, and thinking that by some miracle things are going to work out by keeping silent. Things don't ever work out that way, and it only prolongs the pain. It only gives time for shit to get worse. So, stop being an idiot and just tell me what's going on already." 

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," you muttered after letting his words sink in. 

You didn't get a response, so you let your gaze lower, but not drop completely. Levi waited for you. The Levi Ackerman patiently waited for you to let go of some agony. So you did.

"Sometimes," it was difficult for you to refill your lungs with fresh air, "I get these recurring dreams that make me think about the things I'd kill to forget." A fly could be heard over your quiet voice, but you had spoken, and Levi found it a big step forward.

"I see," he spoke more to himself than anything. "So that's why…" 

His words trailed off as he remembered walking past the cadet sleeping quarters in the ungodly hours of the morning and often hearing whimpers of fear and sleepy pleads for directions on what to do. His eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"You've been having those, too, haven't you?" He paused, knowing damn well that the night terrors weren't anything but a small piece to the puzzle. But it was progress. "It's not uncommon. Everyone gets those nightmares."

You resisted the urge to insist that's the reason why your problems weren't such a big deal.

"Having thoughts about the people that you've lost, the people that you'd cared about," Levi tightened his jaw, taking a deep breath through his nose and not saying anything for a heartbeat. He changed his wording, "You're allowed to feel. You're allowed to grieve and to be angry, to be hurt." It was like he was reading from the list of your emotional insecurities.

It was starting to get painfully tense, so you attempted to redirect the topic of choice.

"That's funny, considering who's speaking. You only seem slightly agitated whenever you hear about the trouble Eren is constantly causing. I'm surprised you don't have grey's, old man," you laughed in spite of yourself, the noise tense and borderline frantic.

"Writing these thoughts in this book," of course he wouldn't budge. The man's like a stone wall, despite his height. "It's probably your way of coping with what’s happened to you." 

You swallowed, glancing away before sucking on your tongue to distract yourself.

"But, you have to be able to talk to someone as well, to be able to hear your problems leave you." Levi didn't say anything after that, quietly observing how you tilted your head up to stop your brimming tears from falling.

He surprised you by taking a seat on the table's bench, a good four or five feet from your journal. "Come here," he said gently, patting his legs, "You look like you need to be held. If you feel comfortable, that is." 

"On your lap?" You asked, chest tightening. You knew all it was going to take was one hug- just one god damned hug- and you'd crumble.

"Yes, on my lap. Come on," Levi couldn't care less about your height or weight, none of it bothering him in the slightest. 

You hesitated, the exit door seeming all too tempting. You didn't leave, though, and it wasn't because Levi would catch you if you were to run, nor that he would only confront you more forcefully in the future. You knew you needed this- that's the whole reason you had left your secrets behind. But, fuck, it was so hard to make yourself sit on his lap.

"There we go." His encouragement nearly ripped you to shreds.

"What are you? Santa Claus?" You mused, eyes burning holes into your lap with how determined you were to look anywhere but. 

"Go on, let it out," Levi pushed you to speak again, this time far more effective.

"Let what out exactly? My Christmas list?" Your voice cracked, heart painfully throbbing.

"Come on, cadet," Levi breathed again, sickeningly gentle eyes looking at you.

"I wish for a cup of hot chocolate with cookies on the side," you forced a twisted smile on your face as burning hot tears started to slip down your cheek. "Maybe at least one good night's rest. O-Or a chance to go back in time." 

You were breaking down, caving in on yourself as you choked on a sob.

"I've got you."

But you weren't alone. The captain was rubbing comforting shapes into your back.

You shook violently, tremors growing worse before you gave in completely. Harsh sobs thrashed your body as you buried your face into Levi's chest, letting every bit of your pain out.

"It's alright," Levi's voice warded off the ringing in your ears. "It's going to be okay. Do you hear me? You're going to be okay."

Promises of betterment and words of comfort soothed you as you soaked his uniform with tears. Tears that you've held in for far too long, tears that represented your suffering.

"You did all you could. Stop blaming yourself for whatever happened or you'll never be able to move forward. If all you keep doing is holding onto the past, you'll stay stuck in this shitty, painful cycle," Levi told you exactly what you needed to hear as he alternated between pats and rubs on your back. 

He took a deep breath, and you heard his heart rate kick up as your crying quieted, though you didn't- couldn't- stop.

"I had two friends who died on the same damn day. People I considered my family- gone, just like that. People I'd just met, people I had just been acquainted with that morning, died later that day, too," he shared his pain, opening castrated wounds all for you. "Sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers," he listed, voice wavering before he righted himself, holding you closer. "Dead. Gone. And who was in charge? I was." You felt his chest steeply rise and fall as you sniffled. 

"There are things that you'll have to live with, situations you'll be placed in that you'll have to get through." His thumb and index finger captured your chin, forcing you to look at him. "I just want you to remember that you don't have to find a way on your own. You don't have to feel like you need to take all the burden, all the pain, by yourself." 

The hand that was on your back navigated to the Scouts emblem on your jacket, gently thumbing at it. 

"That's why you have us," there was a smile dancing in his voice, though it never quite reached his face. "We can support each other." 

Your tears had calmed down to a few rogue leftovers, and you found yourself ready to slip off of his lap. Levi didn't seem to mind the massive wet stain that bled through his white button-up and onto his peck. Didn't seem to on the outside, but you knew he was a cleaning fanatic.

"My office, my doors, are always open," his tone turned sarcastically bitter, "Unless I have paperwork to fill in, or I'm cleaning up Jaeger's damn mess." He relished the small giggle that left your lips. "If neither of the two are happening, you can always come to me."

He narrowed his eyes at you, lightly flicking your forehead.

"You hear me? Always, cadet." He gently smiled at you. "Not only are my doors open, but my arms are open, too." 

You glanced away to hide the sparkle in your eyes. Your attention returned to the captain, however, when a warm hand found itself on your shoulder.

"I know that feeling of thinking everything is your fault," he swallowed, casting his gaze down before looking back at you. "That feeling of being disappointed in yourself, down in the gutter, beating yourself up and wishing that it was you instead." There was a solemn look in his eyes before he spoke again, "I know that feeling, and I know how it eats you alive." 

Levi pulled you in for another hug, resting his chin on your shoulder as he shuddered in another breath. 

"I also know the feeling of being comforted. Of being reminded that there is a tomorrow, and that things can get better." He gave you a small squeeze before pulling away, both hands on your shoulders now. "That if you make it past today, you can make it past tomorrow, too." 

He allowed you to sit back, and the words he spoke were more than welcomed.

"After everything that you've been through, there is no storm that comes your way that you're not strong enough to face," the proud gleam in his eyes spoke volumes. "And, if you feel like you can't handle it alone, you can face it with me by your side. I'll always be here to brace the storm with you."

Nothing could prepare you for what he said next.

"That is a promise, cadet."

Levi never made promises- not like this. The only thing he's ever promised was to dropkick Eren if he ever went so long without showering again.

"Now breathe," his voice reverted back to that gentle, but commanding tone. He took a deep breath with you, in and out before staring you dead in the eyes. "Everything is going to be okay. It might not be perfect, but we will make it through this. Every battle has an end. Don't go giving up until you find your ending." You felt the grip on your shoulder tighten, his Adam's apple bobbing as he continued, "Please... Hold on for me." 

That left you picking your jaw off the floor before Levi mentioned it, not able to do anything but nod. You, a cadet, had gotten him to say please.

"There is so much to live for in this life," he noticed your doubt before you even said a word. "Let's start living for the people who don't get to, who don't have a choice."

A comforting silence settled into the atmosphere. Levi smiled before standing, mentally double-checking if you were okay. "Oh, and one more thing?" You perked up when he spoke.

"I'll break your fucking legs if you talk about me being soft, cadet."

Ah. There was the Levi you knew.

"Wouldn't dream of it, captain," you said gently, proudly saluting him as he walked towards the back exit.

You would never know, but an extremely proud smile graced his features as he watched you hesitate before throwing the journal away.