Livealifeyouwillremember - Tumblr Posts

What Gets In The Way? As I looked in the mirror, and I see the Sunrising, i take a moment to think, is it just another moment in time that is about to pass me by. Am I so lost in my self thought, that I am going to allow a moment like this to pass me by because of my mindset? I’ve been busy, busy not living my life, not being me, I making my way, and I choose to see.

It’s just as I remember it. It’s like no time has passed and I just seamlessly eased right back into the city hustle and bustle. NYC, let’s have an amazing week together shall we?

Sorted moments in our lives requires us to take pause and think to ourselves. Well this is me in that moment, thinking, mostly about the strangest of circumstances that has lead me to this very moment. Why do I feel that it was an uncommon path? Why do I feel that my circumstance was uniquely different and made of acts of love, triumph, regret, gain, and loss?

The truth? Well what is truth other than the story, narrative that we share with others that sheds light on the events that have taken place, furthermore isn’t there a widely recognized debate that there is a distinctive difference between truth and honesty?

My moments thought is that of a non-fiction, a love story, one that sadly has an end, unlike most love stories where happily ever after, or the moment in the motion picture where the reunite and your imagination takes you to the realization there is a happily ever after for them. Nope not this one folks, it’s the unmistakable honest foreclosure of the endangered species of my relationship.

I am quickly approaching the one year Anniversary of the day that the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with informed me that he was unhappy with his life (i.e. me) and that he needed to go find himself (after 6 years together). I trying to be the most understanding an individual could be put my feelings into a bottle, hugged him in his way out and told him that I would always love him and that I knew he was going to be ok, that everything would work out exactly like he hoped.

Initially I didn’t want to show anyone exactly just how emotionally destroyed I was, I was in the middle of transitioning from my job at a large corporation into a start up company, I had been under an incredible amount of stress and then , he dropped the bombshell that he wasn’t happy with his life, with me, or the life we had built together. Devastation seems like a slightly remedial terminology for the emotional trauma that I was plunged into.

I got out of bed every morning

I took a shower

I brushed my teeth

I got dressed

I fixed my hair

I went to work

I repeated (3 months)

April, I called the Salvation Army and told them I had somethings for them to pick up, I remember saying that there are a lot of household items so they would need to send a few guys. April is when I literally emptied our home of everything except my clothes, washer & dryer, and my cast iron cookwear.

May, I started remodeling and painting the inside of my home.

Today I sit in my leather recliner looking around my empty home, excited to see what 2019 will create inside this space. Devastation has turned to hope, to new beginnings, to the most beautiful, important, thing. Living my best life. 2019 I’m waiting, show me your path.

I love this time of year! Christmas lights, Happy Holidays Abound!

This hula pig is taunting me while I’m driving down the road, if this was Hawaii, you wouldn’t be dancing you would be the main attraction at a Luau!

Best project I participated in this week:

Steps:

1) Buy mini bottle of your favorite liquor.

2) Drink said liquor.

3) put empty mini bottles and caps in dishwasher.

4) Start dishwasher.

5) Wait until bottles are completely dry.

6) Remove white styrofoam bedding from inside lid of bottles.

7) Drill two holes for salt shaker in one lid.

8) Drill three holes for Pepper shaker in other lid.

8) put a pinch of rice grain in the bottle that you are choosing for salt (absorbs moisture).

9) Fill bottles with respected ingredients.

10) Screw respective caps on bottles and enjoy your fun salt and pepper shakers.

I spent the day by myself working on my boat. There is something truly relaxing about time spent on the water doing things that I love. It’s been a really stressful 2021, is been emotionally exhausting, taxing, frustrating, and has delivered a lot of hardships.

I’m hopeful that there will be a path that is illuminated for me, a path of meaningful employment that can sustain myself and my family. I have to believe that everything is planned and that this too was a necessary growth stage to help me understand my new path when it presents itself.

I have the most incredible man by my side, showering me with encouragement, love, support, and a powerful winning mindset. Together nothing will stand in our way, I’m going to marry this man.