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angst #19 and fluff #50 for bangchan please! where he and his secret, non-showbiz s/o are having another rough time after years of dating. s/o is kind of getting tired of chan not coming home, responding to calls and texts and doing what a boyfriend should do so s/o visits him for a lunch but he was occupied with a labelmate of his. basically just s/o slowly giving up and chan noticing way too late but with a happy ending together, i hope... thank u so much!

thank you so much for your request, love! this turned out to be longer than i thought.. please let me know what you think of it !

i really hope you’ll like it <3 

angst #19 "Would you have said yes?"

fluff #50 "Can you quit being sappy for five seconds?"

take me back; bang chan

bang chan x fem!reader

3.7K+ words

angst, fluff

warnings; mention of hyperventilating, mention of struggling to eat (because of sadness), mentions of feeling numb/depressed

i’m sorry for any possible grammatical errors!

song rec; almost to the moon - daisy gray

AUGUST 4TH 2021

"chan, put me down, right now. this is not funny!" you yelled as you smacked the brown haired man's back.

he giggled as he kept walking towards the water with you draped over his shoulder.

"it's way too cold to be swimming right now!" you shrieked as you tried to release yourself from his strong grip once again.

"it's literally not that cold! we're heading back to korea tomorrow. summer is almost ending, this is the last time we can enjoy the sea this year!" chan argued, wanting to enjoy this vacation you were on with him and the rest of the boys, till the very end.

"minho, please stop this madman!" you yelled at a laughing minho who was recording the entire thing.

the cold sea water hit chan's feet and he hissed.

"you're right, it's cold." chan spoke as he kept on walking until the water had reached his waist.

"see, i told you so! so put me down."

"right now? oh sure.”

your eyes widened "no wait-"

before you could finish your sentence, chan released you from his grip and you fell in the cold water in front of him.

you shrieked as your arms immediately wrapped around chan's bare shoulders, wanting him to carry you out of the water again.

minho and jisung who were still standing on the shore, laughed at your dramatic reaction.

chan giggled as he wrapped his arms around your waist while you tried to steady your breath, wanting to get used to the cold water as quickly as possible.

"i hate you." you breathed as he pulled your flush against him.

"no, you love me." he said, his smile making his eyes turn into crescents.

you could never stay mad at chan when he was smiling at you like that.

"if it wasn't our last day here, i would've walked back to the shore right now." you muttered, not being able to hide the smile that was creeping up on your face at the sight of your adorable boyfriend.

chan laughed before pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“if i would’ve asked you to stay here like this forever, instead of going back to korea to our normal lives, would you have said yes?”

you nodded.

"definitely.”

he smiled, a sad feeling creeping in his chest. he honestly didn’t want to go back to his busy life in korea as bang chan from stray kids.

right now he wanted to be just chan and stay here in australia with you forever and live a normal life.

“i truly had the best time, chan. thank you." you then whispered as you placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb over it softly.

"why are you thanking me?" he asked, a confused smile on his face as he tilted his head.

you pecked his nose before saying: "because you're the best boyfriend i could ever wish for and you made this week unforgettable."

chan felt his heart burst as a big smile appeared on his face.

"i love you so much." chan said, leaving a peck on your lips.

just as you were about to respond you heard minho yell something from the shore.

"look here and smile, lovebirds!"

you and chan both looked to the side before quickly smiling at the sight of jisung holding up his camera before he snapped a picture of the two of you.

JANUARY 23RD 2022

you look at the picture that you are holding in your hand.

you and chan, standing in the sea, smiling from ear to ear as a sunset painted the sky behind you two.

it was so perfect.

you truly don't know what went wrong.

after you guys got back from australia, that warm summer that could be seen on the photo, slowly but surely turned into a cold winter.

and with that you don’t just mean the seasons changing.

things between you and chan changed.

after you had gotten back from your vacation, stray kids had to start preparing for a comeback.

at first chan still tried to not let the work he had to do occupy him too much. he tried to still see you regularly and tried to still take you out from time to time. on busier days he did his best to at least text you.

but after the company had told the boys that they were really behind schedule, things started to get more hectic.

you understood this for a long time. you never pushed him and always comforted him when he was having a hard time. you even comforted him when he was the one to forget about your date with him, telling him that it was okay.

you weren't hard on him because you realized years ago that dating a full time artist would be difficult and that he wouldn't always have time for you.

but the last month things really got worse.

you barely heard anything from him anymore.

"will be late tonight, don't wait for me" or "i'm busy, cant talk rn sorry" were the only texts you've been getting.

even though you work too, you still tried to make time for him by often driving by the studio to drop off some lunch. even in your tired state there was nothing that you wanted more than to stay with him.

but the last time you went, chan was with changbin and jisung working on some songs and he insisted that they needed to be alone to be able to concentrate on the music. both changbin and jisung felt the tensed air as chan sent you away.

it had been 2 weeks since you last came by the studio or tried to make a move to meet up with him.

you wanted nothing more than to text him in those two weeks but you needed to know if he would reach out to you himself.

you needed to know if he still needed you.

but now, two weeks later, you start to feel hopeless as he still has not taken any initiative to talk to you. he didn’t even give you a simple call.

as you lay in bed that night, the only thing you can think about is chan. about what the two of you had. about what is left of what the two of you used to have. and you cry. no, you sob. because even though your heart wants to hold onto him with its dear life, you don’t know for how much longer your brain will accept that.

chan is neglecting you. and you don't deserve that.

JANUARY 24TH 2022

today is the day that will decide your future with chan.

you are going to tell chan your honest feelings and you hope with your entire heart that the conversation will go well and the two of you can work this out.

but deep down, you fear the worst.

you text him if he can meet up with you at you guys' favorite restaurant at 7 pm.

a few minutes later, you check your phone to see if chan has answered and your heart jumps in your chest as you read his message.

chan<3: i'll be there ❤️

a smile paints your face; maybe things will actually go well.

a few hours later, you start getting ready to go to the restaurant.

you put on your favorite dress, well actually his favorite dress on you, and do your make up.

you softly sing along to a song playing on your phone as you put in some earrings.

yes, you are a little nervous to have this serious talk with him, but most of all you are happy to finally go on a date with your boyfriend again. you missed him more than anything.

you want to talk with him like you used to always do for hours and hours. you want to see his smile again. you want to have him hold you close and kiss you.

but sadly things don't always go the way we want them to.

because at 7:35pm you're sitting at the small table in the corner of the restaurant alone.

the waitress walks by your table for the 3rd time to ask if you want to order something, other than the drink that's still sitting untouched on the tables.

you let out a disappointed chuckle as tears brim your eyes.

"no, thank you. i'll be leaving. sorry for the.. wasted reservation." you speak, feeling embarrassed as you stand up putting on your coat.

she nods understandingly, before walking away.

you check your phone for the last time, hoping to have at least 1 message from chan that can explain why he isn't here right now.

but sadly nothing pops up as you check your notifications.

you shake your head in disbelief as anger and sadness start taking over you completely.

you don't want this anymore.

you don't want him anymore.

you don't even know what you want anymore.

all of your built up emotions make you not think straight as you arrive at your apartment.

you walk to your closet and take out all the hoodies and shirts chan has left at your place over the years.

you put them all in a big bag frustratedly as you start crying.

why did he stop caring for you?

what did you do wrong?

you cry harder as you pick up all the stuff laying around in your apartment that belong to him. you throw them all in the bag as you wipe your eyes.

about half an hour later you knock on the door of the stray kids dorms.

minho opens the door and just as he's about to greet you, his eyes widen as he notices your state.

you didn't bother changing clothes before coming here so you're still in your dress and all the accessories that you had put on for chan.

‘pathetic.’ you think.

your eyes are red but you're not crying anymore.

you calmly hold out your hand that's holding the bag with chan's belongings.

"hi minho, could you perhaps give this to chan?"

minho blinks confused as his eyes flicker from the bag to your face.

"y/n, is everything okay?"

you nod.

"i'm alright, just a little tired so could you please give this to chan?"

minho slowly takes the bag from your hand, putting it down beside him.

"y/n, do you want to come in and talk? you don’t.. you don’t look okay.”

you smile.

“no, thank you. i'm fine, i promise."

minho doesn't believe you of course, but just as he's about to speak up, you turn around and start walking away, feeling too exhausted to say anything else.

minho wants to follow you but decides to instead immediately grab his phone and dial chan's number.

"what? i’m busy.” chan says, a little too harsh for minho's liking.

"dude, go to y/n. right now."

chan is silent for a second before his eyes widen. 

shit. y/n. he was supposed to meet you at the restaurant.

he looks down at his watch and groans when he sees the time.

8:10 pm.

he was so busy getting this one tune right that he completely lost track of time.

"shit, we were supposed to go out tonight.” chan huffs as he runs a hand through his hair.

"well, i don’t think that’s going to happen anymore. chan, i think she's done with you. for real.” minho murmurs as he looks at the bag with chan's belongings.

chan feels his heartbeat quicken as he stands up.

"what the hell are you talking about?" he spits as he feels his hands start shaking.

minho frowns.

"chan, i don't know what is up with you and your shitty attitude but i think it just cost you your girlfriend. she just dropped of all your stuff. go to her and fix this before it's too late." minho responds before hanging up.

chan blinks a few times, all the color in his face disappearing.

this can't be happening.

in a second he's out of the studio and rushing towards his car.

he starts the engine and races as fast as he can towards your apartment.

chan taps the steering wheel nervously as he waits in front of a red light.

'please don't let this actually be happening, please.' is the only thing that goes through chan's mind.

after a few more minutes he finally catches sight of your apartment complex.

he parks his car and quickly exits the vehicle, slamming the door shut as he starts running towards the doors of the building where you live.

when he gets closer he feels his heart drop as his eyes land on you.

your back is facing him and you seem to be struggling with finding your pass to enter the building.

“y/n.” chan breathes and you jump a little at the sound of his voice.

you turn around and chan feels his heart break at the sight.

your eyes are bloodshot and your face is puffy.

he notices the way you’re all dressed up and feels his heart break even more when he realizes how much effort you put into tonight.

you’re even wearing his favorite dress.

“what the hell are you doing here?” you spit and chan’s breath hitches in his throat, your harsh tone hitting him.

“y/n, i am so sorr-“

you chuckle bitterly.

“i don’t want to hear it. i’ve listened to you long enough. i’ve tried to understand you long enough. but i am done, chan. we are done. so please leave.” you say almost emotionless, your eyes scanning his exhausted face quickly.

chan’s mouth falls open at your words, not being able to believe them.

“y-you don’t mean that.” chan stutters as he walks closer to you.

“i do. i do mean that.”

you turn around and scan your pass, opening the door.

chan feels like he’s in a nightmare where he can barely move or speak. it feels as if the universe is just playing some sick joke on him.

“y/n, talk to me. we have to talk about this. plea-.” chan tries to stay strong but his voice cracks as his eyes start watering.

“i wanted to talk to you tonight, chan. but you obviously didn’t care about what i wanted, so i see no point in caring about what you want either anymore.”

you are being harsh. you know you are, but at the moment you truly feel numb. no sadness, no happiness, no anger, no love. no nothing.

“goodbye, chan.”

you give him one last look before entering the building. as if chan’s body got a mind of its own, he runs up you to catch the door from closing but he’s too late.

he feels his body go numb against the cold material of the door, hitting it with the palm of his hand as a loud sob escapes his mouth.

his knees give up on him as he slowly slouches down against the door before his body touches the cold concrete, tears falling from his eyes in rapid speed.

he presses his hands against his mouth as he tries to suppress the loud sobs. this can’t be actually happening, right? you didn’t just actually end your relationship with him, right?

he starts hyperventilating as he can’t control his wails anymore.

“please, y/n, please. don’t do this. please tell me this is not real, y/n.”

he repeats it like some mantra, as if it will make him wake up from this nightmare.

but sadly this isn’t a nightmare.

it’s really happening.

and chan knows it’s his own fault.

FEBRUARY 7TH 2022

you look at the yoghurt that’s laying untouched on the table in front of you.

you really need to eat something but it’s like your stomach refuses to. you haven’t had any appetite in days.

in 14 days to be exact.

ever since you and chan broke up you haven’t been the same.

the past 2 weeks you were struggling with even getting out of bed.

you miss him, you miss him so incredibly much.

even though you hadn’t been seeing or talking to him much before your break up, the pain you’re feeling right now is different.

because now you know he is truly not yours anymore and you’re not his.

now you don’t have hope anymore for things to get better.

you want to believe that you made the right decision. you really do. but sadly you can’t. because deep down you know that you will never find someone like chan ever again. even with his flaws.

the first week after your break up, chan tried to contact you a lot. you told him that you really did not want him to reach out to you anymore and eventually he stopped, respecting and maybe even accepting your decision.

he didn’t want to hurt you any longer.

you know that that’s the reason he stopped contacting you and that’s what makes everything hurt even more.

you sigh as you put the yoghurt back in the fridge before making your way to your bedroom.

just as you are about to disappear under the covers of your bed, you hear a knock on your door.

it’s a quick and rather loud knock and it makes you frown.

it’s 1 am, why is there someone at your door right now?

you think that it must be one of your neighbors since no one else is able to enter this building.

you walk towards the door and as you open it you feel your breath hitch in your throat.

your eyes lock with a pair of eyes that you haven’t seen in days.

“chan.” you breathe as you look at the man in front of you.

you barely recognize him.

his eyes are sunken in their sockets, dark eye bags surrounding them. the color in his face seems to be gone completely and both his face as his body seem to be thinner. he must’ve lost a lot of weight in the past 14 days.

you feel your heart crack at the sight of your broken ex-boyfriend.

“y/n, please take me back.”

his voice cracks as he looks into your eyes.

you blink a few times “chan how-“

“i’m so sorry, i tried to accept your decision, y/n, i really tried. but i can’t do this, y/n, i cant live without you, i truly can’t. i am miserable without you.” he starts rambling as tears start falling from his eyes.

“and i am insanely sorry that i am only realizing this now. i am so sorry that i didn’t realize the way you were suffering all this time, that i didn’t realize your pain. i am so sorry, y/n.”

you don’t even realize you started crying too until salty tears touch your lips.

“i’ve only thought about my job and about my career instead of thinking about the one thing that i truly find most important in my life. i’ve neglected you and i don’t think i can ever forgive myself for making you feel like i didn’t care for you anymore.”

he wipes his eyes but it’s useless as the tears won’t stop anymore from flowing.

“and the fact that i am here right now, is so selfish of me, i know that and i am so terribly sorry. but please, y/n, take me back.” he begs.

a sob escapes from your mouth as you look at him.

“please take me back, baby.” he repeats softly, his heart terrified of your answer.

“i really need you, y/n.” he adds, feeling defeated as you stay silent.

you want to hold him in your arms, to hug him tightly and to kiss him, to tell him you forgive him and that everything is okay. your heart is screaming for him.

but your brain knows that you can’t just go back to how things were as if nothing ever happened. you deserved better treatment than what you got from him the past months. you still know this.

but you want to give him another chance.

a chance to redeem himself. to explain himself and to really listen to you and to communicate with you more. to show you that he now knows that a relationship can’t grow when it’s not being watered.

you want to give him another chance to show you that he truly needs you.

so you nod.

“lets talk.” you propose quietly, a small smile ghosting over your tear-stained lips.

chan feels his heart stop beating for a second as he hears your words before it starts hammering against his chest.

his face lights up through the tears as he nods quickly.

“yes. oh my god, please yes, let’s talk.” he rambles, wiping his eyes once again as you move to the side so he can enter your place.

as he enters the hall, his eyes lock with yours again for a second.

and in that moment chan knows that he will not waste this chance you’re giving him.

he will never make you feel unloved ever again.

MARCH 8TH 2022

you quickly put on some perfume and check the way you look one last time in the mirror before walking towards the door.

you open it and a smile paints itself on your lips as you look at the brown haired man in front of you.

his eyes widen for a second as they scan you from head to toe.

“you look incredible.” he breathes as he stares at you with an adoring look in his eyes.

you chuckle as you take the flowers he hands you, thanking him.

“you don’t look too bad yourself,” you respond, loving the way this suit looks on him.

chan chuckles shyly as he looks down.

“let me quickly put these in a vase and then we’ll go, alright?”

chan nods as he follows you inside your apartment.

he puts his chin in hand, leaning his elbow on the counter as he lovingly gazes at you while you put the flowers in a vase.

“what are you staring at?” you grin, not taking your eyes off the flowers.

“just at the most beautiful girl in the world.”

you groan before laughing.

“can you quit being sappy for five seconds?”

he laughs too. “no, i will never stop being sappy for you.” he then adds before walking up to you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist as he presses a kiss on your shoulder.

you close your eyes for a second, loving the warmth of him being so close to you.

you turn around in his arms, wrapping your own arms around his neck as you stare at him lovingly.

“i love you,” you say, looking into his eyes.

chan has heard you say these words countless of times to him, but it never fails to make his heart speed up and cheeks turn rosy red.

he leans in and presses his lips onto yours.

“i promise, i love you more. forever.”

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