M!a Blitz Is A Goetia - Tumblr Posts

Messing around with Stolas' grimoire has some unexpected consequences. In a swirl of magicks and ethereal shrieks, Blitzø is transformed into...a birb! Specifically an owl demon like Stolas himself. What's the first thing he does? 

"Aw, fuck me," Blitz swore, standing up straight and looking down at himself. Where the fuck was his tail? His--oh fuck, he still had a tail, it was just--it was--

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, what the FUCK?

Covered in feathers, ridiculously tall, he wasn't an imp. He didn't have horns. Glossy black feathers edged with vermillion, a white disc of tiny, tightly-packed feathers for his face, he didn't look like himself at all--but hoooo boy, he could panic like himself.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuckfuckfuck." Fumbling his phone out--oh christ on a fucking stick why was it so small?--he sent a handful of texts.

@moxxietude -> Moxxie I turned in2 a fucking bird WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

@ you -> PARAK WTF

@botanikos -> Stols i fukked up and have feathers might have ben fucking w ur book I M SORRY CAN YOU PUT ME BACK i lhave a cloaca tho i guess like we cud uknow wait no sorry long text, short question: HELP?

Oh thank fuck, Stolas replied! Blitz's talons actually scratched the screen as he got his phone back out--fuck, fuck, fuck he was way stronger like this, this was fucking weird. He started to type a response, but when he pierced the screen? Realized that wasn't going to end well.

So, he called him, pacing back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And the instant he heard Stolas's voice on the other end, he blurted out: "I was messing with your book and I had a papercut and forgot about it and might have bled on a page and the power's out here so I'm like, surrounded in fucking candles and--listen." He clicked and clacked his beak, then shook himself hard, ruffling all of his feathers.

"Can you like, fix me? I will give you head every day for a week. Two weeks if you want. Like, first thing in the morning. Or, or--fuck. Anything. This is--I can touch the fucking ceiling. Without climbing the walls. And I can hear everything." Pace. Pace pace pace pace pace. Was that how Stolas's ears worked? Could he hear absolutely everything too? And was his vision this insanely sharp? This was fine. Everything was fine. It was fine.

@doublejango from here.

He blinks at his phone. Stolas scrolls through their texts, looking for any indicator that might suggest the most recent one was a joke, some sort of weirdly themed prank. Eventually, he gets down to the text box and replies.

My devilish little imp, I don't believe it is possible for you to have a cloaca. Or feathers, for that matter. What ever do you mean. . . by all of this? Shall we meet?

@moxxietude said: [text] Blitz? Are you sober? Do you need me to come over?

Blitz's big tufted feathery ears perked at the sound of the text chime, and his head swiveled around before he remembered to turn his body. He grabbed his phone back up--and breathed a sigh of relief. Moxxie was the goddamn best.

-> Maybe>? defitinly sober

-> i fiel like this iz a resippy for disaster Mox

-> wut if sumwon thinks im a goetia

-> this cud go SO BADLEE

-> where the fuck shud I hide?

Blitz tried to respond to the text--and failed. His claws went right through the phone. Apparently, while he was absurdly strong for an imp, he was Strong as a Goetia. Swearing, he threw the handful of pieces against the wall and went to curl up on the couch. This was fine. It was fine. It wasn't like, you know, the worst thing ever or anything like that. He was fine! Everything was fine.

The second he heard Moxxie's familiar footsteps, Blitz rushed over and opened the door--and had to wait, because apparently Moxxie wasn't actually on his floor yet. Right. Fuck. He could hear everything right now. So wait he did--but the moment he saw Moxxie, he breathed a sigh of relief, rushed over, and hugged him--accidentally picking him up, way up, in the process. Glossy black feathers with red tips, a disc of tiny white feathers for a face, big feathery tufts instead of ears or horns, Blitz didn't look like himself in the slightest.

"Mox, what the fuck do I do? There's got to be like some kind of fucked up punishment for impersonating a Goetia, right? If it's magic, it'll just fade away? Right?"

By now Moxxie was used to Blitzo's spelling. So he got through the text with ease and picked up on his boss' frantic tone. By the time he was finished reading it, he had already gathered his keys and pulled on a some clothes to head out. Millie was peacefully curled up in bed and snoring so he didn't bother her, instead planning on texting her when he was out. He texted Blitzo back.

I'm headed over. try not to do anything yet ok? we can figure something out.

How did this happen first of all?

He had to catch a rideshare to get to Blitzo's place but he would be there soon. In the meantime, Blitzo might be able to explain what was going on. It didn't sound like it made sense to Moxxie where he was standing but maybe with some context?