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WHY DIDN’T I SEE THIS EARLIER GAAAH!!!!!!
Gentle Surgery/ Invasive Surgery headcanons (for my fic/au)
-this is headcanons that only work for my self-indulgent story so if you disagree that's fair
-Because the world of tf2 is filled with ridiculous nonsense it's hard to tell what parts of their history is actually canonical (especially if the source is soldier). so for the sake of my sanity I'm assuming that everything that any history related to Australia/Austrilumn is real but it coincides with our own history. To me having the whole of tf2 being silly takes away from the Mercs behavior being outlandish if the rest of the world is just like that. So I'm making it so in my version of tf2 anything that is not related to Australia/ Gravel Wars/ New Zealand/ Mercs is relatively normal.
-bc the world is also filled with funny coincidences I thought it would be neat if Spy and Medic had met before Red/Blu. Maybe as kids? For good old fashioned childhood friends to coworkers to lovers?
-I mean Germany and France are close enough they share a border it could happen. And Stuttgart looks close enough (can you tell I'm not form Europe)
-So maybe Spy's dad had a business commute to Germany but had to bring little spy with him. Like he couldn't leave him alone and didn't have family that could babysit. But his father is really strict and lil Spy gets bored of whatever meeting his dad is in. So his dad drops him off at a playground that's across the street.
-At the playground is a lil medic whose most likely dissecting an animal he just killed like worm/snake or something
-and it's just like one of those moments where you go on vacation or to another country as a kid and you see another kid whose playing by themselves and you go up to them and start playing together dispite a bit of a language/culture barrier you start getting along. But then you have to leave and you get sad because you will most likely never see them again.
-Kinda like the Bluey episode Camping but I was thinking more like how in Kingdom Hearts Lea and Ventus where friends briefly and then meet agian years later in KH 3.
-like a moment of happenstance that brings them together
-I'd imagine young spy would be nervous or terrified of lil medic at first
-like the boy has blood stains on his hands brought some rusty teasers and is pulling out the guts of a snake in a playground. We all know he's the unhinged kid who lets his morbid curiosity get him into trouble.
- At some point he probably had other kids who tired to befriend him who also were very curious and poked at dead animals with a stick "woah is it dead" but lil Medic was way beyond that and was trying to reanimate a dead frog with broken electrical wires, nails, lemon juice and a hairpin. He was a bit too much for the other kids. or was afraid of him due to rumors of his family being a bunch of manic demon doctors (probably true). And probably also bullied. So he was left alone. Which was fine by him because he could just focus on his experiments or practice his craft without any distractions. But he still craved someone to show off his accomplishments too.
-Spy didn't know what to do as he never really played or done much typical kid stuff he just didn't want to wait in a business office all day with his dad. He just wanted to be outside and maybe sit on a swing for a while. He just had a very strict schedule/ upbringing. He's used to having that "we got to teach them young so they can be successful adults" life style but to the extent that he doesn't have time to have fun. He's like 9 and he's already learned 4 languages, 2 instruments, how to be a gentleman, is working on riding horses, being mannerly, and reading at the college level etc. And since he's an only child and he's homeschooled he doesn't know any kids his age.
-so spy just kinda is curious on what ever medic is doing and just quietly observing
-he's just standing there looking at how Intricately he's dissecting a snake. He's a mixed of disgusted/ amazed by the whole thing. And slowly he starts to approach him to the point where he's kneeled down next to him silently observing.
-lil medic isn't even bothered by this at all. He's in-fact holding in enthusiasm that someone else is curious about his work. He's also super happy that Spy is being quiet and not distributing him while he focuses.
-but then he asks Spy to pass the scalpel and from there they start talking

(A lil snippet of an early draft of the fic)
-then once Medic finishes his work he starts showing him around to a point where he excitedly grabs his hand and starts dragging him along
-just like Spy gets to relax and actually act like a kid and Medic has Someone to hang out with and help rein him in when he's going too far
-but then Spy has to leave :(
-and lil med is like nooo.....please don't
-and they get separated *cries*
-then years later they are Mercs
-and before Spy moves into base he is studying the profiles of his new colleagues and can you imagine how surprised he is to not only Scout but like questing why the doctor looks familiar. Because their real first meeting was approximately 40 years ago and was for about a day, it's a bit of a blurry memory. Also o think Spy tires to repress parts of his past so he wouldn't remember well.
-However Medic, seeing the medical files for all the Mercs would be like "holy shit it's him- my totally not first crush/first friend"
Kinda like how in Ace Attorney Phoenix clearly remembers the class trial and how Miles inspired him to be a lawyer and it's this big key memory for him but Miles on the other hand barely remembers that day.
-The main difference is that Spy acts aloof and in denial of remembering Medic for the sake of protecting his identity.
-until they start talking in private then it becomes more clear that both remember each other
-there's something so poetic about the two untrustworthy people on the team finding love and trust in each other. It also feels so soft and sweet that people who you thought you lost in your life (even if they only knew each other for days) come back together years later closer than ever not allowing anyone to separate them again.
-they are like 2 snakes coiled together to the point where you can't tell which tail belongs to which snake
-have you seen the way Medic talks the Blu spy in his fridge? Like he clearly didn't just keep him around just for experiments and testing his limits of immortality. He also kept him alive for the sake of company/ someone to talk to when bored. I'd like to think that when he's done with Blu Spy experimenting on him and finally gets to the "later" part it's when he starts rekindling with his Spy.
Also how can the Blu team have a Blu Spy if he's can't respawn if he's technically alive? So he has to (by the force of Admin) kill Blu Spy so Blu Team can have a full team and not be at the disadvantage.
-While It rarely happens in game, Ubered Spies are really cool and fun and it would be neat to see more of. Like Medic showing faith and trust that this is indeed his Spy because he knows him so well <3
-also with the James Bond inspiration it's really fun to the Spy and the Mad Scientist who are usually rivals in media work together
-While Medic and Solly or Heavy works really well as a strategy in game him and Spy would be perfect for a contract espionage mission.
-Like can you imagine? Spy sneaking around a stabbing while Medic disposes the bodies (and keeps the organs for himself) and destroys any remaining evidence. The fukn Hitman shenanigans these 2 could have omg.
-Like Pigeons were used for delivering messages and spy missions all the time! It's perfect!
-they even exchange ways to remove blood stains with each other
-and like love gossiping and sharing their expensive wines/ beers with each other
-you know if anyone is allowed in the smoking room it's Medic.
-And while Medic loves working with Engineer on experiments together in the lab I can easily see him getting distracted by whatever Engi Is working on or by the noise of his work tools. Unless they are collaborating on one project together it's hard for Medic to work on his own thing simultaneously.
-So Medic prefers Spys company as he is quiet so it makes for ideal parallel play.